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Mixed Couples

Linn & Mike

Married December 2013

They Turned Online Dating into an Art Form

Mike decided to date online because the "real world" route was taking him nowhere. What Mike calls "retail dating" as defined "speaking/ flirting with the random people you encounter in your everyday travels" wasn't working, he tells us. Especially, he says "with the interracial aspect. 3 factors were working against me: to find a black women, age appropriate, with a mutual attraction."

Mike knew he had to try a different approach. "I decided I needed to go wholesale, cast a wider net, with an audience preselected to accept a different race. I input "interracial dating" into Google and came up with your site. Its the only one I tried.

Mike says he was "absolutely certain I would find love online." But, as a thoughtful, artistically minded guy, he had very specific ideas about how he should present himself in his search for a life partner. "Because of my particular personality, I felt it would benefit me to post a lot of pictures of my art" Mike tells us, recalling his thought process when putting together his profile. "Then, anybody who would be moved to contact me would already be accepting of my artistic passion" he says.

Today Mike is pleased he stuck to his plan. "In the end this worked brilliantly, as the mate I found is perfectly attuned to me spiritually. Though this wouldn't be the right tactic for most people, it just goes to show you that everybody would be advised to develop a profile that works best for their particular situation."

Let's talk to Linn, the lady Mike met on our site (user name Charara) and brought a beautiful love into his life. "I was looking for True Love" Linn says with a laugh. "But the men I was meeting, and what they were looking for, caused me to lower my expectations to just wanting to find friends. I saw Mike's artwork and I thought 'what a genius'".

Using the screen name "Waggam", Mike had been dropping by the site off and on for a period of 2 years, re-activating his membership a month or so at a time. "She sent me a curt message saying 'Love your art. Wish you well'." I took this more as a brush off than a come on. I looked at her profile and found 2 things: she was very beautiful by my standards, and she selected that she attends church more than twice a week. I never attend church. I've found that those who "live" in church tend to be very dogmatic. So it was in issue that I wouldn't respond to people identifying as attending church more than twice a week.

Over the next week I checked her profile numerous times. I was intrigued by her beauty I couldn't resist. So I sent her a message "You're about as beautiful as its possible for a woman to be."

This opened up the floodgates of communication. We both believed in speaking directly right away. "We made a connection the first time we spoke on the phone" Mike relays. Linn adds "We laughed and laughed for hours every night. No man had made me feel such joy before."

Mike made reservations to fly Linn from Raleigh to Austin 2 weeks out. "It was murder having to wait 2 more weeks. But, realistically, it allowed us to get to know each other so well, that when she stepped off the plane, there were no surprises."

Linn said she had no reservations about trusting to go and meet Mike in his "comfort zone." "He was so free and easy that he made me feel completely at ease. And we had talked for many hours about everything under the sun for 3 weeks by the time of the flight" she relates.

When she got off the plane in Austin, it was, to each of them, as if they'd already met. "This is what complete honesty does" she says. "No pretending. No games."

Linn had never met anyone quite like Mike before. "His artistry gives him a unique personality." Linn was intrigued by Mike. She says Mike is very generous, a trait she finds refreshing.

Mike took Linn on a tour of the city. He orchestrated the trip to wind up at a church high on a hill overlooking a scenic view of Lake Travis. He held her and spoke spontaneous words of love and commitment; wedding vows. Linn reciprocated words of her own. They knew this spiritual marriage ceremony would tide them over the half-country distance once she returned home.

Two months later Mike drove to Raleigh and spent 7 weeks. The picture with him in the green shirt was taken by her 17 year old daughter in Linn's kitchen.

Linn is a very private person. But she opens up about her feelings for Mike and what his love means to her. "Its like a security, being in love. It makes me feel more light-hearted about life."

Mike has this to say about the matter "At the advanced age of 60, my life is finally complete. Up till now I have only been half alive. She fulfills me so completely that I couldn't even have designed her. And I want to thank the Interracial Dating site for making it possible. Without it, not only would I never have met Linn, its doubtful I would have ever met anyone like her."

Here are Linn's words of advice for online daters. "Know what you want in a relationship. Be patient and don't get discouraged. And, above all, be real."

Our takeaway from this story is to be sure you understand what someone is saying before you jump to conclusions about their beliefs. Online communication is very convenient, but it can be harder to decipher the meaning of words on the screen than it appears.

Good luck and happy dating.