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Why some Black women only date White Men

Posted by James, 17 Jan

We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those black women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.

The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they'd rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.

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Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.

Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.

Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.

One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.

With that said, the generic phrase - ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?

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1841 responses to "Why some Black women only date White Men"

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  1.   seancarter03 says:
    Posted: 11 Jul 08

    I also had to reply to Jalen because a lot of what he said was interesting to me. First of all I have to back him up on dating a lot of different women because I noticed one woman thought of it as something to be repulsed by but news flash sweetheart many if not most American men like to test the waters with a lot of different chicks before deciding to settle down with one and not every woman is looking for Mr Right at every single point in their life, sometimes they just want Mr Right Now and there is nothing with that as long as you don't get someone's hopes up. In dating there are no victims, we all make our own beds. As far as what he said about black women finding someone of their own race. Lets look at the numbers here, a large chunk of our men are either in prison or unmotivated and I can say this because I pay attention. Besides if any person can find someone who fulfills them, should they take a color check and if the person doesn't match they should throw it away in hopes that they find something more to someone else's liking. Brother are you crazy? You sound educated and tell me what part of that sounds remotely logical? As far as what it does to your reputation and what it does to your relationships with people, first off the people who truly love you will not take the decisions you make for yourself so personally that they will disown you and if they do it was probably a good thing you see their true colors because no one needs to be around people who keep them on a short leash. For the record for everyone who is African American reading this and who believe that we should stick with our own please stop pretending that we don't have our own prejudices. I as a dark skinned black man have had more negativity thrown at me from black women during the first year of middle school than the rest of my life combined, so don't make race on race dating sound like its perfection. We have so many hang ups about skin tone, I had a light skinned girls mother actually say in front of me don't you think you might be happier with someone closer to your skin tone the babies will come out prettier. So any relationship can have its fair share of hardships, it just comes down to whether or not are you brave enough to accept love from where ever it comes from. HOW ARE MORE PEOPLE IN LOVE A BAD THING? HOW DOES THAT HARM ANY OF US IF TWO PEOPLE WHO LOVE EACH OTHER FIND EACH OTHER AND WANT TO BE TOGETHER?

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  2.   seancarter03 says:
    Posted: 11 Jul 08

    This would be the fourth blog I'm replying to on here and I have to say we as PEOPLE are so interesting. We in so many ways look for what separates from one another rather than what we have in common. Like where Jalen made the comment that it was natural for blacks to be with blacks and only blacks, that is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. Take a trip outside of the U.S. and see how much more it takes to make a connection other than race. I commend people on here like Mr Geno and Tampa Chris you guys had a lot of insightful things to add and I always find it interesting to see a white guy's perspective on interracial dating since a lot of the people I know who don't date outside of their race. As for some of the people who make ridiculous and racist comments please grow up, you know that this site was designed and made for the people who enjoy interracial relationships. Is it even logical to be shocked and annoyed that people on here like and want to date outside of their race. I know that a lot of us have a lot of pain when it comes to race, in particular us as "black" people but we have got to let it go and move forward. Race is a social construct designed for the sole purpose to divide the poor and middle class so they don't notice how the rich and powerful are screwing them over. WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!!! We as human beings have a lot better things to pay attention to. I think as long as a relationship is between two consenting adults it should be honored as just that. Stop making other people's relationship a representation of what you think the world has to be for you. If a black woman dates a white man with the hopes of becoming more socially mobile, how in the world does that concern you unless you want her and then man up and go after but if thats not the case then let them live their lives for GOD sake. If a black guy wants to date a white girl because he thinks shes more submissive and will let him get away with anything then thats there business unless you are a friend of that white girl and see that her man is taking advantage then be a friend and say something but other than that we are all adults and should be free to pursue whatever believe will make us happy and content. It might not work out the way we want it to or maybe it might but it should be our choice to make. When a guy dates only skinny women or a woman dates only tall men no one has anything to say or if they do its quickly dismissed as someone being a "hater", I just have such a hard time with people taking up so much of their precious energy and time and focusing on things like this. By the way I notice way too often we refer to only black people as brothers and sisters but lets keep it real all the people who have treated us like family have not only been black. I have sisters and brothers of all races. I hope you guys appreciate my words, I love reading yours.

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  3.   Conanld says:
    Posted: 11 Jul 08

    It’s a shame that a few racists try to ruin this web site for everybody else, by projecting their hate and distain onto others, and that is exactly what it is – a projection. For you racists, if you don’t know the meaning of that word, then I suggest that you do yourself a great big favor and look it up in the dictionary, and then after that, take a real hard look in the mirror. With a little follow-through, there still may be hope for you, but you’ve got a lot of work to do, so you'd better get to it.

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  4.   Tampa_Chris says:
    Posted: 08 Jul 08

    I don't think it carries the same feeling that America's history has brought onto us to see a White woman with a Black man. I think the sensitivity of the issue is more so seeing a White man with a Black woman due to the insecurities and inconsistencies of a black men in constant competition in a prodominantly white society. I think if anything, Black women are justified to be upset with Black males who prefer White women because as a woman, who is the base for family, they can feel inadequate to other women especially that of a different race. All in all the blood I bleed you bleed so we all the same. The key is that everyone needs some church in they lives and you know that love thy neighbor is bond. much love

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  5.   newyorkgirl says:
    Posted: 08 Jul 08

    Mr. Geno. My first response did not make it through- but the bulk of it was that you are going off on two very different topics. Please re-read my post and see the topics on which I commented. I am well aware of the reasons why Black men prefer white women and I am well aware of how some white men feel about white females dating non-whites. BUT that is irrelevant to my post. White women are status symbols and Asian women are "in." The truth is the truth.

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  6.   mr.geno says:
    Posted: 08 Jul 08

    To newyorkgirl--That is NOT entirely true. Black men love White women because of their fair skin, blonde hair & blue eyes. What about White men who hate seeing a White women with black men? HUH?!?!?!?!

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  7.   poetlove says:
    Posted: 05 Jul 08

    Wow on one hand I agree and on the other i'm like damn. I do feel that sister who exclusively date white guys unfairly judge all black men. Trying to conform or appease another race damn sure shouldn't be the reason you date someone of another race either. Only date someone if you find them extremely attractive and mentally engaging. Anything else would be uncivilized. I have first hand seen the black girl that only dates white guys turn into the group slut. Being an entertainer I have walked in the back room or writing workshop and see a black girl orally servicing one by one more than 7 whit guys. When I pulled her aside she stated she started dating one of the shows writers. Now she's just passed back and forth for room and board basically. By a lot influential people in spoken word and theatre. So don't become that person all on the persona of fitting in or conforming. Date someone cause your heart tells you and not society.

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  8.   Member says:
    Posted: 04 Jul 08

    Dear Author You and your sellout black women ilk make me sick. Once again another blog kissing the white man's toes. That is why your proud to "date several white men'. Getting passed around with no commitment by white men but I know for a fact you won't talk about. Then you promote this image of a white man sweeping "Tameka" away to a suburban white neighborhood where she can fit in with the "white soccer moms". Your pathetic just like your sellout readers that bow their head for a white man. Then on top of that you got the nerve to bash black men. A white man spits in your face you ignore it or do not say anything. I guess your trying conform to society so a "potential" white man does not see you 'angry" or whatever stereotypes they promote. Keep "dancing and showing your teeth for a white boyfriend" Then maybe one will pat you on the head and commit to you. Sincerely Mr Laurelton Queens

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  9.   Reena says:
    Posted: 23 Jun 08

    Jalen - Um you said you are educated???? Sorry I don't see it...

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  10.   woman2 says:
    Posted: 23 Jun 08

    To missthang100 You're so right. I have loved with my eyes closed and my heart and ears were speaking volumes. I felt the warmth and I smiled deeply. I love him and he loves me. Now, he is gone because I was afraid. We both were afraid of this kind of love.

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  11.   mr.geno says:
    Posted: 23 Jun 08

    missthang101 I couldn't have said it better myself.

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  12.   missthang100 says:
    Posted: 23 Jun 08

    I have only one statement to state: "Love with your eyes closed and your heart and ears opened. Whomever that you come in contact with that gives you that warm feeling and that makes you smile is the person for you."

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  13.   mr.geno says:
    Posted: 22 Jun 08

    wyrwulf, it applies to ALL races. I've seen/known white women who do the same thing. They look at us white men like we're nothing when they're with a man of a different race. You have a good point--make sure you're in it for love.

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  14.   mr.geno says:
    Posted: 22 Jun 08

    Thank You for your comment poetlove. I absolutely agree with you 100%. I didn't mean to make it sound as tho' I wanted to date/marry a woman just because of her race. There are good and bad off ALL races. Personality comes 1st. Just because I'm white doesn't mean I'll only date/marry a white woman. If she has an attitude forget it!!!!!

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  15.   poetlove says:
    Posted: 22 Jun 08

    I think you really should like someone for who they are not what color they are. I've predominantly dated sisters, a few spanish, and asian and one white. The best relationships have been with sisters but that's what I was raised by and around. Even going to affluent high school the sisters just attracted me more

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  16.   wyrwulf69 says:
    Posted: 22 Jun 08

    as an african american male i have seen my brothers and sisters go white as a way of somehow becoming upwardly mobile.when they are out and about with there white man/woman they tend to look down upon other black people.to me this is sad because the only reason they are with that white person is because they think that it makes them superior and part of the in crowd or some other foolishness.most times the white person in the relationship is a lot more down to earth than the their black lovers.i say this to all of you sisters and brothers who are in an interacial relationship.make sure you are in it for love and not to bolster your lack of self esteem. love for the sake of love and not because you think it will elevate your social status, that would be shallow and pathetic........peace and love to all of you.

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  17.   e-dub says:
    Posted: 21 Jun 08

    No one is saying crossing the racil divide is easy nor would I recommend it for everyone. It can be hard a road and you better be prepared to take a few extra slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Personally, I've been fired once and quit once because of my "uppity" black wife -- so be it. I don't regret the decision one little bit. We may not have skin color in common but both of our dads grew up poor in the south and left home early to join the military. We grew as military brats and have been dragged from pillar to post. Trust me, we understand each other. (She understands me too well!) I didn't plan on marrying a black woman. It just happened and I'm grateful everyday. In August, We going to party for black/white couples to celebrate a 40th anniversary. There are going to be sixteen couples who have been married between four years and forty. It can work -- it does work. No marriage is easy (the fact that the wife hasn't buried me in the back yard for forgetting our tenth wedding anniversary amazes me) It won't be easy but if there is a better way to pull our country together on the subject of race, I have yet to hear it.

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  18.   Swtgurl190 says:
    Posted: 20 Jun 08

    Hey fellas, black woman here...:-) First off, don't worry Mr Geno, I don't think you offended anyone here, otherwise you would have surely heard about it by now! lol Now on to this topic.... yet again. I agree with Tampa Chris, nothing beats a great debate and this one is very good...:-) Well, actually I agree with Tampa Chris on just about everything and I'm not sure what part of the closed off world Jalen is living in, but it sounds pretty sad to me. I say this because of your earlier comment, your words here..."Granted, I have slept with a large amount of chicks; white, mixed, black, spanish, etc. Nonetheless, I certainly would only be in a committed relationship with a black women." How sad for that "large amount" of women! I suppose their feelings meant nothing? You really made yourself sound like a keeper and then what, the last part is supposed to be redeeming? Who's being "unrealistic" here? When I married my ex, a white man (read my earlier comment), he wasn't disowned by any family members and my kids have the best Grandmother in his Mom that I could have ever hoped for. His two best "white male" friends stood beside him on our wedding day and were genuinely happy for him, for they had known me first. And if anything for quite awhile I made his life more exciting and "colorful" because of who I am, not because of my skin color. Your words again here.."You can marry who u want, doesn’t mean its accepted nor that you’ll both be happy in the end." This is the truest thing you've said yet and the only thing I agree with, but you know what? It's true for black couples too, it's the truth for everyone, no matter the color...:-)

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  19.   mr.geno says:
    Posted: 20 Jun 08

    I apologize if I've offended anyone with my last post about white men dating/marrying black women. All I'm saying is that NOT all of us white men think black women are "easy" and want them for their money. Love is important to me, NOT money. I feel everyone should make their own choices who they want to date/marry.

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  20.   Member says:
    Posted: 20 Jun 08

    You haven't said anything offensive to me, brother. I enjoy a good debate also. I don't have any issues with any race of people nor interracial relationships, some of my best friends and strongest associates are white; I'm in no way a racist. However, if interracial relationships were so accepted, then why is there a need for a website promoting them... Think about it.....

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  21.   Tampa_Chris says:
    Posted: 20 Jun 08

    There you go assuming again. Do you really think an activist of 8 years and a founding NAACP chapter member would only know a small handful of successful interracial relationships? Really now? It's all good though man, maybe instead of thinking about my experiences you only read them on this blog. I've had the opportunity to travel and actually see what I talk about in a broad sense around the states and internationally. In no way is this "pretend". This is real life and your issue is one that the good people on site's like these are looking past. Please do not take any of this offensive. I am no "blog bully" as they say. Jus someone who likes a good debate. Keep doin whatchu do.

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  22.   Member says:
    Posted: 20 Jun 08

    You could probably count all of the successful interracial couples that you know on one hand..... Pretend all you want, but you know that I speak the truth... Everyone on this blog knows too....

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  23.   Tampa_Chris says:
    Posted: 20 Jun 08

    Well, as "unrealistic" and "unnatural" as you make think, this is 2008. E-Dub's comments are on point. And who cares about tangibles when you have two people who aren't afraid to stand up for something knowingly or un-knowingly. I know plenty of interracial couples who have been married for a looooong time. That's pretty real to a cat like me.

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  24.   Member says:
    Posted: 20 Jun 08

    I respect how u fellows feel, but you're white men. So essentially, you can't speak on anything but your experiences. You can marry who u want, doesn't mean its accepted nor that you'll both be happy in the end. Too many outside tangibles to make things difficult for the both of you, particularly the black woman. I've got nothing against interracial dating, but its really unrealistic..... Its unnatural for black women to not have a preference for their own race.

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  25.   mr.geno says:
    Posted: 20 Jun 08

    WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYBODY????? If I want to date/marry a woman outside my race then I WILL!!!!!!! People may give me Hell about it but love is stronger than anything else. I'm not out to "prove" anything or think "black" women are easy. I am genuinely attracted to ALL races and have always wanted to date/marry a woman outside my race especially a "black" woman.

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  26.   e-dub says:
    Posted: 20 Jun 08

    Dear Everyone, The most intimate and important decision any will ever make in their life is the choice of who they marry. I married my wife because I'm a better person for having her in my life. (Why she consented is still a mystery to me.) I know marrying black woman would make my life more complicated but so what! Friends, family members who offered their ugly opinions about my wife are no friends of mine -- marrying a black woman just make it easier to idenitify who really was my friend and more importantly who I wanted as a friend. If you are lucky enough to find someone you can laugh with, cry with, hold in your arms and wake up next to for sixty years count your blessings and grab that chance when you have it because it might not come around a second time. The only thing skin color tells you is how much sun screen you need to put on when you go to beach.

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  27.   Tampa_Chris says:
    Posted: 19 Jun 08

    My man, You can't put all white people in a box. I grew up in a very ol' school Italian neighborhood and very proud of that, but my mom took in a little girl when I was a child and she was black. I grew up eatin' my Cheerios with my black sister and my white sister and knew no difference. MY godson is from Trinidad and his mother is my best friend in the world. In my lifetime I've dated all races and my family has never disowned me, my friends have never laughed at me nor had off color jokes, and my reputation is stronger than most men black or white seeing that i'm a founding member of the Tampa Florida NAACP chapter and civil rights activist. Jus as I may not know the experiences as a black professional I would never put them all in the same category. Tough I am quick to respond I am not dumb. There are situations such as the ones you explain, but please keep an open mind. It's my generation thats changing this world for the better.

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  28.   Member says:
    Posted: 19 Jun 08

    I've read quite a few of the comments posted on this blog and I would like to state my opinion. I am an educated black man. My parents are college graduates, still married and afforded me with a middle class life style growing up. I went to college, graduate school and have a professional job in my field (planning director/administrator). I've never been arrested, don't do drugs, and I have a progressive outlook on life. However, when I read all of these comments on black women only dating white men I feel offended. Granted, I have slept with a large amount of chicks; white, mixed, black, spanish, etc. Nonetheless, I certainly would only be in a committed relationship with a black women. For one, she is the only woman who could provide me with the level of companionship and understanding that I need. Our experiences are similar, particularly as black professionals. I want my children to be born of a black woman, because she is who I am. As a black women, what could a white man give you that a black man couldnt? A vast majority of black men are as smart, good looking, and sucessful as any white man. Whats funny is, while you women date this white man, his family disowns him for dating a black woman, his friends laugh at him for dating a black woman, his reputation becomes jeopardized by dating a black woman. How is that being happy? Someone answer please...

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  29.   Tampa_Chris says:
    Posted: 18 Jun 08

    That last post was ill. I'm glad to be around positive sistas such as ya selves. Keep doin ya thing ladies.

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  30.   blkf4realman says:
    Posted: 17 Jun 08

    My preference has always been white men. It should not matter what race the man you are dating or in love with. The only thing that should matter is that you care and love eachother. Living in the south has its challenges. It is very difficult to meet a white man that is not wanting to know whats it like to be with a black woman. I have to be careful and try to seperate the good guys from the bad. You would think that in this day and time people would allow others to live their lives. Sistas keep your head up and keep reaching for the stars.

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    • Ruth116 says:
      Posted: 06 May

      A certain poster wrote that he dated WW's and other non-BW, but will only have a committed relationship and/or marriage with a BW. Reading between the lines, what's he saying is that the non-BW were good enough to hook-up with, but not to be his wife. In other words, he used them; as a side, I excoriated a WM member here at IDC who was looking to do the same with BW and told him that I didn't want to have anything to do with him. Yet, the BM poster has the absolute gall to be "offended" when he reads about us BW being attracted to WM. He's supposedly in a relationship, so what's it to him about whom we prefer? Be vigilant, girlfriends!

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  31.   Member says:
    Posted: 10 Jun 08

    Im going to be moving back to NY I want to know what is the best place to hang out if i want to meet a middle age white man . Proffesional tall, and who love kids because i have 2. thank you

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  32.   DallasW says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 08

    as a black female, white men always seemed more appealing than the black guys. and apparently I act 'too white.'' whats that supposed to mean? just because I dont talk like Ive never had an education. My sister has a child by a white man and she is 3 and he takes good care of her, my brother married an australian woman so allmy life interracial couples were there and i think its a good thing toi.

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  33.   jacbl2 says:
    Posted: 05 Jun 08

    Wow as I read all the comments above, it makes me appreciate my love for people in general. I am a black woman that literally love all men regardless of their race and if the one I happen to fall in love with is not black, then so be it. It really has nothing to do with the skin color but the connection for me. To be in love is the greatest gift a man or a woman can receive and I would not let the color of one's skin stop me from receiving my gift. If you think about it, when someone hands you a gift, the outside package is not usually the main focus of you accepting it. (Well of course, if it is a barf bag, I would have an issue) lol Life is too short, live your life and love who you love.

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  34.   Tampa_Chris says:
    Posted: 02 Jun 08

    I am an Italian man who has dated all different races. It's all based on experience and i'm open to all women but i prefer and date primarily black women. In my opinion there is nothing finer than a strong black woman. Beauty, intelligence, ambition. A sense of strength that i am attracted to based on my own adversities. I grew up with a black sister and a white sister and have been a civil rights activist for 8 years. I have met all women and nomatter the race I have respect for all of you ladies out there. Especially all the ladies here of all race and culture that are strong enough to take a stand and date outside your race to see the true good in people and not just their color. Keep doin ya'll thing and God Bless Chris

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  35.   cocobaker813 says:
    Posted: 01 Jun 08

    Andre's comment made me wonder if he didn't read my earlier post or the posts of quite a few of the ladies on here. I specifically stated "I date men who treat me with respect and is his own person" At this point in my life, it's happened to be men who aren't African-American(or Afro Latino, European, Asian, or African). I haven't met any men of African decent from Australia yet, I'd really love to, though. I have absolutely no problem with my self image, I am a proud African-American woman. I wish more black men would approach me, but they haven't. The black men I have approached prefer not to talk to me, or I haven't found him yet. While I do, why is it I have to "wait on him", as a few have suggested? Just like Swtgurl190 so eloquently put it(I beat you, I'm 38!)a black man has no problem seeing a woman of any color and it's no big thing for him or his friends. It's WWIII if a African-American woman dares to step outside the race and not limit herself to such a small pool of potential suitors to find happiness and a possible mate. The strength and assertiveness my fellow sistas have had to maintain is both an asset and a liability in our own communities to some of the men! I've sat and watched an African-American man on a nationally syndicated talk show dog black women for wearing weaves/wigs, brightly colored clothes, and colored contacts, while praising Causasian women on their long hair, light eye color and fashion sense, as if white women don't wear wigs and weaves, colored contact lenses and the season's trend of bright colors. I agree that there are some who go outside the race for reasons that aren't quite legit(more money, more respect, etc)but not every woman who dates nonblack has a self esteem issue.

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  36.   kyleth says:
    Posted: 01 Jun 08

    Apart from racism inherent in our (and every other) society, I find the differences between me and any other races/ethnicities are limited to culture. I feel that the greatest differences between people have to deal with socioeconomic class. I admit that I've dated white men exclusively, and I'm not ashamed. I'm not attracted to black men and I can't tell you why. There are no stereotypical bad qualities I can spout, because I don't believe any of it. Even if I were attracted to black men, they don't approach me anyway. No skin of my nose.

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  37.   Conanld says:
    Posted: 30 May 08

    Reena - hugs & kisses! Actually, I did have one IR relationship prior to my marriage. At that particular time in my life I was too immature to stand up against my family who threatened to disown me if I did not break it off. Today, I am absolutely certain that they would feel differently about me having an IR relationship, because things have and are continuing to change.

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  38.   Tatiana says:
    Posted: 29 May 08

    i find it a bit strange to "only" date white men, that is a bit extreme, lets face it there are differences between whites and blacks, there is disparity, i have dated white men before, but i wouldnt do it exclusively, there's something else at the bottom of that.

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  39.   Reena says:
    Posted: 29 May 08

    To the conanld, I just want to say I adore you! That is awesome! Such a shame you could not have experienced the joy an IR (interracial relationship) can bring. Relationships can be difficult at times, but when you go into one with someone of a diffrent race you have to be that much more willing and open. The mere fact that you appreciated a black women's beauty and considered a relationship with one is awesome enough! Maybe in the next life you can find another deep dark chocolate to love!!

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  40.   conanld says:
    Posted: 29 May 08

    One of my most fond memories was sitting at a table in the office cafeteria with about 10 beautiful black women. I had become friends with one of them, and so when I saw her sitting there alone at the table I joined her. Soon all of her black girl friends showed up and sat at that same table with us. I was the only guy at the table, and not only that, I was a white guy with very white skin, but with an exceptional build (so I have been told). This happened about 18 years ago, so it was not a common sight to see back then. I felt like a celebrity! Here were all these absolutely drop dead gorgeous black women, all of whom individually I though were more attractive than any of the their white female co-workers in the entire building. I was the center of attention at the table. It was wonderful. The most attractive of them all, was a deep black beauty, who paid particular attention to me. Unfortunately for me, I was already married at the time, otherwise I am absolutely sure that we would have dated, and had a relationship. I probably would have fallen in love with her in a New York second.

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  41.   tj says:
    Posted: 27 May 08

    Stereotypes. When Black men say that Black women don't want them because theyy don't dress in hip hop atire, they are sterotyping. "BLACK WOMEN" that is a large group of women, which include Beyonce, Oprah, Whitney Houston, Halle Berry, Tanisha, Kameka, and every other woman of African descent. And when you say BLACK MEN, you are speaking of alot of men of African descent who don't wear hip hop clothes. That attire for the most part isuse is generational. And that excuse, for the most part is lame, stereotypical, and covers the real truth. It is also insulting to white women. Because why would a white woman want you either if you have all these stereotypical problems. Furthermore, the excuse about Black women don't want you because you are educated and not loud. Are you an idiot? African American women graduate college twice the rate of Black women, so the problem is reverse. And Black women still practice endogamy more than Black men. Just like you aren't loud and 'ghetto', the MAJORITY of Black women aren't either. You shouldn't ascribe to these stereotypes. Attitudes-another stereotype. it's funny how people perpetuate these things about their own people when what that says is something even more about you. Furthermore, Black men are not exempt from their fair share of statistical problems. To say that Black women, or even some are petty, materialistic, and selfish is so off base, it is ignorant. Those things can be attributed to anyone, in any circumstance. Lastly, white women are the penacle of beauty in America mostly following the Eurocentric paradigm. Black men-THIS is why you outmarry. Socialization economically, and educationally has nothing to do with it because you can check any statistic and Black women on average are climbing the social latter much faster than Black men. Date who oyou like (when you find out who you are otherwise you become apart of self-hatred which is the problem and not the solution).

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  42.   Swtgurl190 says:
    Posted: 27 May 08

    Oh and for the record, I've never cared who people date, black, white, asian, gay or lesbian. People should feel free to love anyone that makes them happy and a perfect world would be if people could just get over it!

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  43.   Swtgurl190 says:
    Posted: 27 May 08

    I completely disagree wih Andre, no doule standard here. I'm a black woman (maybe a little older than most here, 37) but when I first joined the Navy year 1990 we were pretty segregated onboard ship as far as who we hung out with, so being black that's who I spent my time with. Although, I grew up in NYC and I'd dated a couple of white men before. When I dated my first white guy onboard ship I received so much animosity and hatred from my "brothers" that I didn't feel comfortable being out with that relationship at all. Although, it was ok for them to sleep with every Filipino, white Australian, Asian woman, etc. in every port we pulled into! Still to this day I feel it's more accepted for black men to date outside of our race and there lies the true double standard. For many years I've dealt with the bull, having married a white man at 21yrs old. We're no longer together but it had nothing to do with race and I don't regret it because we made three beautiful kids together...:-) The thing is, sometimes it's just about attraction and what people like. It's my preference to date white men and I can still appreciate the beauty and strength of a black man too. I just happen to be turned on by white men more, that's what does it for me. It has nothing to do with status, or a horrible past experience with a black man, or being different, it's just about attraction. You can't change what you find attractive.

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  44.   andre says:
    Posted: 27 May 08

    This reaks of hypocrisy!!!! if a black man says he is not attracted to black women...everyone wants to play the "self-hatred" card and get all militant, but when it's the other way around women get a pass. Not knocking your preferences, if that's what makes you happy then more power to you...I wish you the best. I'm just pointing out a double standard.

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  45.   Babydoll says:
    Posted: 24 May 08

    I am not going to say that I don't date black men I will just say that the right one hasn't shown himselph. I have only had relationships with white men and I only have positive feedback. In my experience white men are loving, caring, open, romantic, passionate creatures who are ready willing and able to handle a strong black woman. So keep an open mind ladies

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  46.   CafeAuLait says:
    Posted: 23 May 08

    Tune into my show tonight as I will be discussing "Black Women Finding Love and Contentment Outside of Their Race." The show address is: www.blogtalkradio.com/LifeLoveAndEverythingInBetween

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  47.   riskytrezh says:
    Posted: 23 May 08

    From my childhood days i had always had this thing for white men,i think they are very cute.i love and admire them a lot,though i have not dated any but will very much love to.Not that i have anything against the black men,no,they are lovely as well.just that i dont see anything wrong a black woman dating a white man.

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  48.   HNicole77 says:
    Posted: 20 May 08

    I have a hard time accepting that I'm more attracted to white men. I think it keeps me from getting into the dating world. After reading this blog and everyone's comments, I feel a little better. I would never admit it to my friends, but I'm sure they know and see it.

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  49.   happywithme says:
    Posted: 20 May 08

    Since a little girl my attraction has been to white men. I'm 42 and that was all I saw on tv and in the media. Elvis was my first love. As I got older I of course was able to see the beauty of the individual. My son is a black man and I love black men. The truth is I notice all good looking guys and approach any without hesitation. Unfortunately I hardly ever get approached by the black men I find attractive. It's almost like they are more superficial in their desires and white men appreciate more than just my body. This is based on my personal expirience. I will say that my preference is for white or hispanic gentlemen...point blank. I don't apologize for it. I taught my son that he is beautiful and capable and all those great things. I also taught him that mine is a preference and that it is not a slight on on any man or any race. FYI he has dated women of different races and finds his preference to be black girls. I try to practise what I preach/teach my son...When you choose to stand next to someone through this life there will be trying times, it wont matter what they look like, how much money they have and so on. The only thing that will matter is the important stuff on the inside.

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  50.   sunita79 says:
    Posted: 15 May 08

    Im a Sri lanken Girl who loves white men so do all my female family members from my mum whos divorced and my 2 female cousins who married cute white guys.but i recently found out that one my male cousins also loves white guys and has always wanted a white boyfriend and he shared this with me he also told me that he wants to tell his mum but dosent know how to as he usually dosent keep secrets from her. I wanna support him as if he were a girl his mother would be quite happy about him having a white boy friend but since hes a guy he dosent know how his mum will react and i am the only person who he has told this too and i wanna tell his mom that he likes white men too but i dont know how she will react since i am a guy as he he wants her to know but dosent know how to tell her. could you offer me some advice as i would love to hear your on what to do here as he would like me to tell his mum.I dont think anyone has to explain liking white guys as many women of colour love white men that include Black, Asian, Indian and Sri lanken women and in Sri lanken and even men as my cousin only likes white guys. I dont think there is any need for a women of colour or even a man of colour to explain why they only like white men. I would like to hear from other in relationships with white men and if you can give me some advice on this topic.

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