Why some Black women only date White Men
We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those black women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.
The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they'd rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.
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Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.
Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.
Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.
One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.
With that said, the generic phrase - ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?
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1841 responses to "Why some Black women only date White Men"
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tatted2death says:Posted: 31 Oct 09Wonderful dialogue.......thanks for your insight and just your mere presence, JustAGuy..... Peace and Blessings to All tatted2death
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JustAGuy says:Posted: 31 Oct 09
By the way, BigEyes, you should see the woman who just won Latin American Queen 2009. You can find it here:http://www.panama-guide.com/article.php/20091030183115745. It's stuff like this that makes my understand well your cynicism for the Latin stereotype. It runs through the Latin "novellas," the Latin equivalent of American soap operas. All the women are about as close to white as you can be. Most of them, if you saw them on the street, you'd even say they're white. Of course, some Latins are. But really, these women are not representative of true Latin women, who range from tan to very dark.
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JustAGuy says:Posted: 31 Oct 09
Well, we're all only human after all. I hadn't read that in your posts (the cynicism) BigEyes, or I would have understood better immediately. And I disagree with some things Mr. L Queens says that caused me to react badly to him at first. But he's honest enough to state his beliefs, right up front. Disagreeing with him doesn't make either of us right or wrong, we just have different opinions. Yet here we are, all people of thought, with our warts and blemishes, trying to make it a better world. What more can we do than try? Who can claim to be perfect? Certainly not I. And I'm writing a book with a black friend of 45 years, and I said in it that it is not "Ebony and Ivory" (Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney) -- don't know if you know that song -- but dirty, gritty, and real. We were blessed with unique mothers -- who tried to see beyond racial boundaries, so we both had good relationships with each other's mothers, and were accepted as family. And we both miss each other's mothers, as both have left this world. After his mom died, being an only child, he had to go up to New York and clean out her apartment. When he was done he came to my house to chill, where he could eat, sleep, drink if he wanted, do whatever he had to do, stay as long as he needed to, because he didn't have time to grieve while he was taking care of the task at hand. So he was able to start in my home, which he chose over his wife's. I had known her and him much longer, and am as much or more like family in some ways than his wives. Our friendship has outlasted many lives and many marriages. But still, it is not "singing 'We are the world' and holding hands," as you say, but down and gritty and real. His first wife was white, she died on him, his second wife was black, they had two children and still talk and help each other out, since they have children together. They can even stay in the same house, as friends. Most people can't even understand their relationship, because they become so bitter over their divorces. And now he's married to a Mexican woman, and they have a number of children. They lived in the mountains in Mexico for a year, in her family's home village. So he has seen it all. And I know all his wives (including the dead one, bless her soul). They were together back when society was supposedly changing (the '60s, the era of peace and love), but it still was really taboo. They'd probably still be together if she hadn't died. Their love was true and deep, and survived many, many things. Except death. And my first love, who was black, who came home to meet my mom. Yet her family didn't like me too much. Her mom was University educated, but believed her daughter should be with an appropriate young up and coming black man. And she went off to another school and met a black man and left me. But it wasn't racist. She just met someone who was there and she developed greater feelings for. We still communicate to this day -- 43 years since we met. And so it swirls, emotions and perceptions and realities. One thing I was taught years ago, that I still struggle with, is that feelings ain't facts. Another was in what is called "The Rules of Fair Fighting" for couples in therapy. And that is that you can't talk for the other person, stating that they are saying one thing or another. Where do you go from there? Usually, if you disagree, you are immediately back to fighting. If you agree when you don't believe it (to try to make peace), you're not being true to yourself. So you have to talk in terms of how something makes you feel. That is something people can work with. Not being accused, there is no need to be defensive, and one can respond with "I'm sorry, I didn't mean for that to happen." Or "That certainly isn't what I thought, and I'm sorry you perceived it that way," or any number of ways. (You also can't talk about things that happened in the past that can't be changed, because it is useless and pointless and goes nowhere. You can only work with what is now and going forward. That seems to be the hardest one for anyone, most of us have such a tendency to say, "You did this or that." Once again, you either disagree, and you're back to fighting, or agree to try to make peace, but don't really feel better. Doesn't mean you can't talk about how you feel now, "It's still hard for me to trust you." That's a whole world different than "You cheated on me." I have friends who went through drug problems and blew all the family money, and the anger issues are much the same as cheating issues. You either work through it or agree you can't.) Trust is hard. I understand that. Having been married five times I've been hit by a truck before. What am I going to do, let it ruin my life? Conversely, I've been horrible at points in my life, and would have ruined any relationship I was in, and did. Especially when I was shooting heroin, smoking crack and drinking -- I was a danger to anyone and everyone -- family and society. I would have lost any sane person, including my first love, so all that came before could probably never have sustained. No sane human could have waited for me to change, it took too long and would have been to self-destructive. So we are what we are. I don't blame you for being cynical BigEyes -- there are one million and one good reasons to be. At least you own up to it, that's more than 99 percent of people do. So you have exceptional self-knowledge. Me, I'm a fool (as in "fools rush in"). I trust too much too easily. Both have their good qualities (of protection, for cynicism) and bad qualities (danger when you're too trusting). Is one better, one worse? I can't tell. Doubt it. But speaking for myself, I feel like it's been a productive dialogue. For what little bit we may have accomplished in our discourse, a drop is better than none, for if it is not brought into the light of day this plague of racism will never go away. It is certainly alive and well. Bless you both, and anyone else who might have just been reading with amusement.
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 31 Oct 09
Thanks Mr. L. Queens for having my back. I think you like the "heat", like some people like their food spicy,LOL.
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 31 Oct 09
Justaguy that last post was...well insightful. I commend you on what you have endured. You are right; we don't know each other. Mr. L. Q was correct as well, in saying that the words you write are all I have to go on and vice versa. This is a public forum so I might challenge something that's posted;you happened to post something mentioning a particular irritant to me. I have admitted several times on this site that I have a certain cynacism toward white people. I have never denied that. I'm struggling to work through it,not there yet. I don't particularly believe in singing "We are the world" and holding hands, more like "Man in the Mirror" while keeping one eye on the white man(R.I.P Michael Jackson)LOL. Maybe I am a product to some degree of my environment and a culmination of my experiences. Either way, I'm not trying to make you wrong. I just tackled something that I see on this blog done alot in post by white men claiming so much attraction to black women but don't man up. Sharing more info about yourself and your sacrifices creates a better picture of you. You sound like a great man. So, I wish you the best Peace
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JustAGuy says:Posted: 31 Oct 09
My apologies to you, Mr. Laurelton, for having spoken harshly or sarcastically to you. In this post you speak, I feel, rather appropriately. My only feeling was that no matter what I said, BigEyes wished to find fault with it. But as you correctly interpeted, she does not know me. I have only tried to say that I have loved and been married to and have had love affairs with all sorts of women, from dark Afro-American to blonde-haired blue eyed women. I've suffered being called a "nigger-lover," along with all kinds of other stereotypes. I've been physically assaulted for being with people I've been with, that racists or bigots didn't like. I've been married to women much younger, and dealt with sarcastic remarks about being with "my daughter." When in Afro-American circles I was with an Afro-American woman I was a "wannabe." When I was a kid in New York I was called a "Paddy Boy," a derogatory term meant for Irish Americans. My mother was Jewish, so I have been called a "kike." I've heard my Latin women referred to as "Spics." I have learned through the years to outgrow the insults, and consider the source -- bigots of all races, shapes and sizes. Oh -- I forgot -- I'm also a "Gringo" among hostile Latins. No, I haven't experienced every kind of ethnic or racial slur. But my family in Ireland fought for hundreds of years to win their freedom from the English. As late as the 1980s or 1990s the Irish Republican Army was still setting off bombs in London, due to the fighting between Northern and Southern Ireland. We were slightly more polite terrorists -- we called ahead so people weren't killed (as much) but mostly property damaged. My mother's people were hounded since they were thrown out of Israel, persecuted in Russia, until they came to the United States in the late 1800s, not practicing Judaism any more, simply wanting to be "Americans" and live in peace. We were slaughtered by the millions by the Nazis, who would do the same today. I grew up in New York with the children of "survivors," the Jews who lived through the concentration camps. I have seen the numbers tattooed on the arms. My father, before he died, remembers signs that said, "Help Wanted: No Jews, Irish, or Chinese need apply." He said you didn't have to write "black," it was understood. What does it all mean to me? That we have more in common than differences. My father came from Ireland, after, as a child, he watched people die in the streets from the potato famine. People could only step over the dying -- there was no help. He grew up throwing rocks at British tanks, as Palestinian children do now, sadly, at my people, who now oppress them. What a world. I felt as if I was being attacked by BigEyes because I had not actually ever married an Afro-American woman. What can I say? If after all I've been through that means I'm some sort of phony, well, everyone is entitled to their opinion. Thank you for your post. And I respect you for speaking up for BigEyes. I don't claim to know the first thing about her, even though she's written a lot on posts I've read. I don't know if she's ever been married. I assume being a black woman in America she's without a doubt suffered racism. Perhaps more. But that's an assumption. I don't know if she ever married a white man, or what it would really prove one way or another. As we have seen in these posts, people marry people even when they have racist feelings. How would I know anything at all about her? The most I have been able to tell is that her family struggled in this country, and it seems to me that she thinks I'm not genuine because I haven't married an Afro-American woman. And she has stated that I perpetuate stereotypes of Latin and Asian women. Most of my friends would disagree, including lifelong friends of other races. My mother published a book, one contributor of many from different races, about raising children in a racist world. From my youngest days my family fought racism. Whatever, I am what I am, and if my existence as it is causes some to pass judgment, it won't be the worst that's ever happened to me. I've been shot in the head walking down the street in California. Now that was rough. And it was by other white people. I've been threatened by whites and blacks and Latins. I've had to fight and maneuver myself out of dangerous and life-threatening situations. I've seen poverty, worse than we can ever imagine in this country. But I can sit comfortably in other lands with no other white people to be seen. Somehow I've grown to where I can communicate well enough to do that. Ah well. Off to sleep, get up tomorrow and take the younger kids (5 and 8, both of who's fathers abandoned them before birth, and I'm 60) to watch my oldest biological daughter compete in her first martial arts competition. Then it's back to work again. And on it goes. The sun rises, the sun sets. It's sad that among people who try to fight racism, however well they do it, we can still criticize each other for not doing enough...whatever that is. Peace and love to all.
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Member says:Posted: 31 Oct 09
Dear Justaguy Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot. I can only interpret you words on a website. It is your "words". I said you was an older guy and I can understand your feelings you shared with us. You said this "Perhaps you’re right. But I’ve endured enough looks and comments from crowds of white people and crowds of black people to know something, especially when I’m the only white face in town or my partner is the only dark face. From New York City, to Virgina, Missouri, Oakland, Central and South America and Asia." I can respect your anger and frustration. I have never walked in your shoes..But blogs are open forums. For people to say "you don't know me". Right, we do not, so we go off your words. I think Big eyes is the last person who wants conflict. I will take the heat for this one. I think people just get uncomfortable when I comment to them so they get defensive real fast.
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 30 Oct 09
I was curious if anyone knew who this "James" author guy is. I was also wondering why "He" never comments on "His" own blog?
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JustAGuy says:Posted: 30 Oct 09
Bigeyes, Perhaps you're right. But I've endured enough looks and comments from crowds of white people and crowds of black people to know something, especially when I'm the only white face in town or my partner is the only dark face. From New York City, to Virgina, Missouri, Oakland, Central and South America and Asia. Whatever...you seem bent on my being wrong, although you know little about me. You have a lot in common with Mr. Laurelton on that, you speak a lot of what others feel or have done while extrapolating it from a few words... You really don't have a clue where I've been or what I've done, or felt.
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 30 Oct 09
Hello Ich ! Been wondering where you were, LOL thanks.
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 30 Oct 09
Justaguy you seem to have missed the obvious point that because a person has dark skin does not make them black in terms of ethnicity. A person originating from a place located close to the earth's equator could be dark complected.You sound "color struck". You seem to delineate hues alot in the choice of women you have had dealings with. The women you married might have very well been dark complected but still socially safe because they were latin. Latin women, asian, white women, all socially acceptable for white men to marry and date interracially. Look, I don't care one bit about being accepted by white men, white society,etc. I have wonderful examples of strong, good black men in my family. From my great-grandfather who was born the year 1900 and owned his own "filling" station or gas station right here in the "dirrrty" south. I have five handsome, successful black brothers who fought for me, taught me and loved me and a great dad. I do, however take issues with white men who proclaim how much they are attracted to black women but don't marry them or choose social comfort over them. They keep the heat of their loins underneath the sheets and out of the streets. Now, some of these type white men might get a pat on the back from some black women but NOT the real ones. Peace(from the DARK SIDE OF THE MOON)
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JustAGuy says:Posted: 30 Oct 09
Angry, bitter tirade? Where do you get this stuff? In virtually every post you try to impute meaning and demeanor to other people. Sadly, most of the time you're mistaken. I'm sure we all look forward with great enthusiasm to your manuscript. Guaranteed bestseller.
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Member says:Posted: 30 Oct 09
Dear JustAGuy I always speak for myself. You said in your bitter, angry tirade. "Bigeyes, I guess you missed the fairly obvious statement that my last Latin wife (not the present one) was as dark as you. And in between my many marriages in 60 years I have loved the darkest of dark skinned women. And the lightest of light. My first love was an “Afro-American” woman, but she was a little older and left me and broke my heart. And in recent years — IN BETWEEN MARRIAGES — I have dated and loved women of all colors. It just didn’t always lead to marriage, black or white. So your assumption of who I dated after my first marriage (I hope you notice you assume freely), is incorrect." LOl It's funny how you redirect your anger at white women. But haven't gained any success with "minority women". You could always point the finger at yourself. Your track record just seems to be poor. Am I speculating? Judging from your commentary. I think you still carry around that pain for that black woman hurting you. The way you snapped at Big Eyes was very interesting. You are going to have get rid of that anger or you will NEVER have a steady relationship. The Irony of me telling you this should mean something to you! I still think you are a good guy. A bit naive when it comes to black women and Latin women. Oh yea, I speak for myself. I rule my woman with an "iron fist". I tend to subscribe to the 48 Laws of Power by Robert Greene and The Art of Seduction". As far as they are concerned I have no weaknesses. I was in bed with my fiancee and she said "man Negros have cried over me, more than once". I said why "was they crying? "They cheated". I said "oh yea" I ain't never cried in my lifetime over a woman. She said "yea right". They don't call me "Stoneheart" from the cartoon "Care Bears" for no reason! I plan to address this in my manuscript. Men crying in front of woman is a big NO NO. Also, why it is important to not fall for the black woman's tears. Some white boys fall for the trap. It is important to jump on your woman's ass when she is crying. I won't go into any further.
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TricciNicci says:Posted: 30 Oct 09Very interesting comments. I see a lot from both sides of the coin and learned quite a bit. Very good work and honest, open discussion. To speak about one's experiences can help anyone who hears. I'm still on the borderline and don't think in terms of 'color' but recognize some experiences in certain aspects of diversified culture can be better than others.
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Scoff/Sara says:Posted: 30 Oct 09
Morning all; Again I hope that all is well for my special friends, and that they have a very good week end. Myself and that very special person are taking a little road trip down to Tarpon Springs, the area has a large Greek population, so Scoff wants me to try some different foods, and just browse around. Thanks to you folks we are dropping by to see his mother, she is 88, now that is going to be an experience, she moved back their when Scoff's Dad passed away several years back. Hang on world we are coming out lololo. May be bit of a problem, she only speaks Greek, we know she speaks English only when she has too, so we will work that problem out. Godiva I hope your day off went good, relax take care of your self first, then you will be able to help others. Love and Hugs see you next week Sarah
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JustAGuy says:Posted: 30 Oct 09
Mr. Laurelton, Don't know why you spend so much time reading into others words. You make up whole scenarios based on your speculations. Try speaking of yourself, feelings and beliefs. I, for one, will always respect that. And I don't know what you're talking about "golddiggers." Spend some time with the white women of Boca Raton. They check your watch, your clothes, your car, your house, and then decide if they want to talk to you. I don't know who has the prize for gold-digging, or "credit card eyes," but I've heard it about every race. Which tells me it's just the way some people are. Even then it can be cultural, as with women from families with money, or people from hardship looking for ways out. Again, it's pure speculation. And I disagree with any racial title in that department.
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Member says:Posted: 30 Oct 09
Dear JustaGuy I hope I didn't disrespect you because my father is your age. Obviously, the sore point for you his your failed marriages. I truly do believe some of your past wives "screwed you over". It is not an indictment on all Caribbean women. Everybody knows my strong opinion on Caribbean woman lol. They have less compassion the average woman in the world due to the extreme circumstances they were raised in. Dominican women, Jamaican women and Puerto Rican women. They can be a handful at times. I actually find Black American women more genuine. To me it is not really just about the skin color. I look at the origin of the black woman too. I don't think any man should be left broke. Sometimes black women mistaken "niceness" for weakness. Regardless, of what black women say. They will not respect a man they can walk over. I mention that in the " Pia Glenn Story" on my blog. This attractive black woman with this fat homely white man. He had the audacity to email her and cut "her loose". Her ego couldn't handle that and turns around and say " I want to have your baby and etc. Classic example of using reverse psychology on a woman.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 30 Oct 09
JustAGuy, I understand exactly what you're saying. Bigeyes, You are brilliant... as always!
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JustAGuy says:Posted: 30 Oct 09
Mr. Laurelton and Bigeyes, You seem to insist on looking for the negative, and miss, or try to interpret like psychoanalysts, who don't do so well themselves, the meanings of people's words. Bigeyes, I guess you missed the fairly obvious statement that my last Latin wife (not the present one) was as dark as you. And in between my many marriages in 60 years I have loved the darkest of dark skinned women. And the lightest of light. My first love was an "Afro-American" woman, but she was a little older and left me and broke my heart. And in recent years -- IN BETWEEN MARRIAGES -- I have dated and loved women of all colors. It just didn't always lead to marriage, black or white. So your assumption of who I dated after my first marriage (I hope you notice you assume freely), is incorrect. My first wife was almost 35 years ago. There has been a lot of love and a lot of heartache with many women of all colors in all these years. I tire of this post, I have a busy life to lead. At 60 years of age, I am still raising children of deadbeat dads, a purpose in my life I find tiring, after 30 years of it, but still rewarding. And I'm writing a book with a friend of mine from Junior High School, blacker than you honey, about our 45 year friendship, and our mothers, who themselves saw beyond color, and worked to raise non-racist children in a racist world. (I'm sure people will have much more to say about that, should we be fortunate enough to publish. His wives also ranged from the lightest of light to the darkest of dark.) By the way, have you been married? Have you raised children? For me, I still travel and move freely in all areas of the world. If I marry again, it will be a woman who attracts me, period. But I will probably not marry again. At this point in life, I can't see why. For all those of you who seek the positive, and have made positive contributions to this thread, I salute you. I have to get back to work. I'm responsible for the employment of about 20 people, of all colors, and in these times that's harder and more deserving of time than chatting with people who always want to see the negative. Goodbye, good luck with all. Peace and love to all, anywhere you find it.
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 30 Oct 09Oh in my haste....that last post was for justaguy.
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 30 Oct 09
Yes, I know that the women you mention ARE women of color. I realize for example Dominican people are latin people with a deep African bloodline, culture and heritage. You still haven't addressed the point. You were married four times to "acceptable" women of color. So, you as a white man, who is proclaiming such attraction and appreciation for "women of color" but you excluded the black woman from the "socially acceptable marriage material".You sarcastically stated the obvious to me about the name of this site and explained what dating meant, but since you were married four times, you at some point stopped dating correct? When you decided to settle four times, they were all either white or latina. You still took the safe route to "interracial" dating. Paleman admitted to cowardly marrying a white woman even though the love of his life was a black woman; he chose what was socially acceptable. So again, I ask: How did you contribute? What's new?I didn't presume anything , I just relied on what you, yourself wrote. Peace(but I'm still going to speak my mind)
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Member says:Posted: 30 Oct 09
Dear JustAGuy I didn't twist the man's words. He is making excuses as to why he wasn't with a black woman. I find it self serving. He can divorce his wife and go get him a black woman since he feels so bad about it. I guess black women are not that important so we should "cut him some slack". This is one of the main reasons that black women are weary about white men. They are worried about what people say when they are with a black woman. I don't want nothing from the guy but honesty. He had a crush on a black woman, I guess that was just "physical attraction". What he basically wants is the sexual pleasure of a black woman but does not want the "public relationship". Historically white men have done this and continue to do this. Keep black women in the "background" but never get "serious" with them. Then they got the nerve to say "cut him some slack". He could be spanking black women on the side while his white wife is at home unaware. This guy is a dirt bag. If you are admiring black women from "afar". It is not a far stretch that he might be cheating on his wife.
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JustAGuy says:Posted: 29 Oct 09
I'm sorry, I thought the title of this whole thing, if you look up at the very top, is "Interracial Dating." (And when you speak of our "interracial" relationships with women you appear to have a sarcastic tone. Why? What do you know of who we have dated and loved? I wouldn't presume to know the first thing about your life.) Back to the topic, according to Webster, interracial means of, involving, or designed for members of different races. Webster also defines dating as to to go out on usually romantic dates. I don't think people should get merit badges for marrying someone of any color, and I think that you are actually talking about stereotypes, not us. We have just been talking about the varieties of people. If you study a map of the slave trade that moved most Africans away from their homeland, it appears Africans were spread from Southern Brazil to the Eastern coast of the United States. So you may not realize this, but many Latin women are indeed "women of color." If you travel through Brazil, Honduras, or almost any South or Central American country, including Puerto Rico, and especially the Dominican Republic and Brazil, you find many women who appear to be significantly darker than you. My current wife is a light skinned Latin, but my previous Latin wife was pretty dark. Does that mean anything? Not that I know of. In most Latin countries, the darker population are often referred to by friends and FAMILY as "Negrito," simply meaning black. But what it all this talk about anyway? I think if you read what we are talking about, we are talking merely about experience, the chance of love, and the variety of people. Speaking for myself, I find the human race to be one of people ranging from the darkest of dark to the lightest of light. It is like a bouquet of flowers, and who you wind up with is for some a factor of who they seek, but most with bias would never consider a dark person, while most free thinking people consider any color who come in their path. I think perhaps you rush to judgment, that is all. May you be blessed with all your dreams.
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 29 Oct 09
Paleman and justaguy Now, out of all that you both said, the explanations of all the "interracial" women you have had relationships with and all the black attraction, you still didn't pick a black woman to make your wife. You married everything BUT black. So what's new? How did you contribute? You only perpetuated the trend of white men with asian,white and latino women. Is there no one who is strong enough NOT to go with the "flow"? Peace
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JustAGuy says:Posted: 29 Oct 09
Hey Free Aries, If I had your address I'd send you an anonymous check in the mail. Done it before and I'd do it again. And don't want anything for it. I have everything I need in this world. Did you tell anyone you needed it or why? And by the way, some of us idiots don't have our pictures on here because we don't know how to put them here! Don't assume it's cowardice -- I'm just technically challenged. Peace and love
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JustAGuy says:Posted: 29 Oct 09
Mr. Laurelton, Cut Pale Man some slack. He owned up to his cowardice. As you owned up to your regret. You should be forgiven, as he, as we all, when we repent. And he didn't say that if he gets divorced he's go find a BLACK woman, he said he has learned and wouldn't be limited by any race. You are twisting his words. And why would you say the he will say he dislikes you because you are a white man? How could you possibly know that? Sheer speculation. And he wishes peace for us all. What do you want from the poor guy? Peace and freedom to all
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Member says:Posted: 29 Oct 09
Dear Pale Man I think your story is disingenuous to black women on the board. I don't doubt you had a crush on Donna. But the fact you succumb to racial pressure is rather cowardly. I know what your going to say. Laurelton you dislike because I am a white man. No, I will tell you a story that I regret. I was about 10 years old. I knew this kid that was biracial (his father was white). Anyway, come to find out his father had HIV. His black mother left the family for whatever reason. His father was struggling to pay bills with his illness in Woodside Queens New York. This was way before the drug treatments for HIV patients. It was a sure death sentence. So it was just him and his HIV dad. We were both around the same age. I actually stopped talking to him because all the other kids stopped talking to him. Simply because his daddy had HIV. We were pretty good friends. But word got around and he was severely shunned. That is something I will have to live with. I bowed to the pressure, even though I was 10 years old. Now for you to say " If I were ever single again" I would be with a black woman. Get a divorce and be with a black woman now. If I ran into the biracial kid x amount of years later, I would apologize and tell him I was wrong. His father was a nice guy. Good day.
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Member says:Posted: 28 Oct 09
I grew up in a purposefully integrated city (Columbia Maryland). Not perfect, but a lot more harmony than many spots in the US. Still, there was some stigma attached to interracial dating when I was in high school (1977 to 1981). I had a HUGE crush on a black girl (Donna) and didn't date her because of social constraints. Biggest regret of my life. Now, over these 30 years the country has changed a lot, especially in the last 10 years. All of you interracial pioneers, you lead the way, broke the trail in the snow! Thanks. Now, wow, we can really choose a mate for all the things that matter....age, similar level of education, interests, beliefs, common goals. How much melanin we have in our skin doesn't really matter anymore. It's been a long time coming and LONG LONG overdue. I'm married now (to a white woman) but if I were ever to find myself single again I wouldn't limit myself to the possibility of any woman being my mate...I might miss out on another Donna and I can't let that happen! Be she white, black, red, yellow, mosaic mix of all of the above, I would NEVER let any social pressure from making any woman my mate. For me, I'm beyond race. I'm on to the things that matter. I've changed with the country and I'm in a good place now. Peace to all, Pale Man
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TricciNicci says:Posted: 25 Oct 09
Wow, thank goodness the word 'dating' isn't the same or even synonymous with 'marriage', 'respect' or 'support' because the blogger, ctl, proves precisely why many Women of Color want nothing to do with white men. Here is a guy who says his motive for even desiring to date outside of race boils down to sexual introspection. Purely, simply and only. A snake in the grass for any Woman of Color walking Life's path of a Beautiful Dream Story. ctl, I don't want to blow your cheating hearts cover on the lust factor, but not too many Women of Color are looking to hop in the bed with some pale skinned slick only to be told, ctl: "Really hon, I think you are truly hot! My body and soul buuuuuuurn for you. BUT I will have to allow to lead a VERY depressed life as I know Blacks aren't Catholic, use the same napkins my relatives choose from WalMart, nor know that Thanksgiving is for the ORIGINAL members of Jamestown." Needless to say finishing up as the Brown Lady cries heated tears of stabbing regret for all the love, the time lost believing another heart could dance to the rhythm of hers, ctl: "Oh, and sweety, though it's been a wet dream come to life thumping those buttery brown cheeks of yours nightly, there's no way in Hell, Kwanza's ever gonna be celebrated in my home!" Ya know, I think Ms. Brown Lady failed to see the perspective when she folded that pointy hat thingy you called a pillowcase, LMAO!!!! Why don't you suck it up ctl and be thankful you have ANYONE of beauty to lay your head next too. After all you got exactly what you wanted, right? Beyond that try nasty CL for anything you consider a perversion. PEOPLE write on this blog! And that my race driven sisters and brothers, is a WRAP!
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JustAGuy says:Posted: 24 Oct 09
Just found this post. Oh, CaribPrinces, you seem to heave left the thread so long ago...I would have come back to see your face many a time. I'm a white man who has dated all kinds of races. My first love was a black woman, my first wife a white. I've dated Asian, been married to two other white women and two Latin women. There are so many reeasons people are attracted to other people. It's fairly well accepted that women will be attracted to men who present as good providers for children they may have. That can be black, white, or any other color. Whatever our personal conceptioins of "handsmome" or "beautiful" will play in too. It's believed human bodies even give off chemicals to attract members of the opposite sex when they are interested. My father was a ladies man, who, after his last divorce, often dated "younger" women -- which proved it could be equally controversial! (I say if you're older and catch a younger, you go...male or female! Older lovers can teach younger lovers and are often more mature. Especially women! Young men are pretty much meatheads.) Jealous guys used to ask my father, "What's your secret for catching all these beautiful young women?" You really want to know, my father would ask. Yes! They replied. My father would lean forward and whispet confidentially, "Talk to them like they are people." Which of course the men who had to ask that question thought was a bull answer, but was so true. Men tend to be self-centered. Want a woman to like you? Go out on a date and ask her what her dreams are in life, instead of telling her all about you. Women usually open up personally completely to such talk. Just for a man to see them as as a human being instead of an object is so refreshing. In my 60 year experience, I have found that beautiful women come in all colors. It is more the light in their eyes, as well as the features I favor, that get me. Because I have had several younger women, and two Latin women, I get typed all the time. Complete mistakes. Circumstance. We are all children of God, in so many colors and types and personalitites and yes -- sexuality -- it's a marvelous garden out there. I agree with a lot men have said here...black women tend to be strong, having to deal with a world that is so hard on their color, and there are so many deadbeat dads of all races. Probably when I meet my maker my greatest saving grace will be that I can say I have helped raise the children of many deadbeat dads. If that's my main contribution to this world, I'm okay with it. I would date a woman of any color that sparked my interest at any time. A face like CaribPrinces would make me want to know more anytime. But before I married my last wife, I dated a Brazilian woman, asked out a white woman my age, and it just didn't work out, dated briefly a black Doninican woman. Then I wound up with a lighter skinned Latin. Love and sexuality, thank God I don't have to be the judgee of anything. And we haven't even talked about gay love affairs (now there's TABOO again). Bless you all, it's a long road to happiness. JusAGuy
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ctl says:Posted: 24 Oct 09
I am a married white guy who regrets never doing any inter racial dating, I think women from any of the other races are totally hot. I like white girls too. I think the real problem with a long term inter racial relationship would eventually come down to cultural differences, each race has their own customs, religions, points of view and biases that would eventually lead to friction in the long term. More power to those that can make it work long term.
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julius26 says:Posted: 18 Oct 09
The above statement i took from another blog and are not my words but please read carefully.
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julius26 says:Posted: 18 Oct 09
LoL (Terriann,Michelle) This is so stupid, first of all, it`s not every black woman`s dream to date a white guy (michelle) it`s your dream, lol which is sad that, that`s a dream lol. I met a black woman the other day that said she purposely had a baby with a white guy she didn`t even like to have a pretty baby that is sad and allot of black people feel that way. white people don`t say thing like i`m tired of seeing white couples (michelle) SIGHS BLACK PEOPLE JUST HAVE SELF ISSUES PERIOD, black is beautiful, too bad there`s still black people that don`t see that.
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tatted2death says:Posted: 17 Oct 09
hey ich...."BASHING"....LOL (still laughing at the christmas carol you made out of that word).
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Ichibod says:Posted: 03 Oct 09Mr Queens, I just realized that the comment from Supremacy10, and your response back to him in July, were both removed from this thread. If I recall, your response wasn't even negative toward him.
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Laurelton says:Posted: 17 Sep 09Dear Free Aries My fiancee is half black and half puerto rican. She will tell you she is "not" black. Her father is dark like me, and her mother his half puerto rican and white. I told her " oh your not black". She says I am black on my job applications. I said " you put Hispanic on myspace and facebook. I looked up at her eating my cereal this morning. My fiancee is like, "your racist and hate white people". I went back to eating my cereal. I said "we all racist baby". Then she says " no we are not". I said " Ok Mrs " I am not black". Your daddy dark as night like me. She says " I like dark skin men". We went back and forth. I said look I am not racist. You can't understand a genius like me. Think about it. People actually do a blog about dating "outside of their race". That can be perceived as being racist. Why not do an inclusive blog and then pick and choose the person you want be with. Give the "appearance that you DON'T dislike your race. Instead of saying 'this is an interracial blog". If you don't like it you are racist. You see the absurdity of the whole thing. Sometimes what I say goes over people's heads. It sinks in later on. It kind of reminds me of the email I got from a disgruntled white guy. He said "nigger you are racist". My response was to laugh.
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SanAntonioBeauty says:Posted: 17 Sep 09
Scoff and Sarah, as I read some of those emotionally laden hypercritical posting concerning your story, I can only say one thing, youth has such luxuries in today's world with little consequence. Please continue with your story, maybe some will learn how to scroll. This the right place, more so than the posting of such vitriol. My mother, in her infinite wisdom would say "you have two problems, one to get mad and one to get over it". The other thing she would say is "that's a personal problem", when there was a complaint. God bless the two of you
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Member says:Posted: 17 Sep 09
Ha!! No you don't...and you know you don't. You know good and well she's not black. That's why you have so much hatred toward black women who date black men, because the black woman you wanted is probably dating a white man. You are hating yourself for dating that white woman you are with...where did you meet her loose booty ass?? I surely hope not college, because according to you black women in college were loose booty's...lmao...you are way too easy... good night lil grasshopper
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Laurelton says:Posted: 16 Sep 09
Dear Free Aries I will not stoop to your level. 'Black pussy", I dislike your "crass" language towards me. Considering I have a fiancee and she is not "black pussy". Maybe that is what "you are" and that upsets you. You asked me what I do for the black community. Currently, I work with black youth as a part-time job. They need positive role models like myself. Since you were wondering. I don't need to write a fantasy novel about it either. Good night to you.
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Member says:Posted: 16 Sep 09
LQ Really are you serious???? That's the question of the day...who gives a rat's ass about your whack ass blog...you are a weak ass black man that has probably not had any black pussy other than the one you came out of. You have personal issues...get that PERSONAL... I do not need anyone whatsoever to validate who I am or what I do. I know exactly what's going on in my neck of the woods, so please no kiss ass necessary. However, you clearly present a hefty dose of bitchassness, you have wayyyyyy and I mean wayyyyy too much time on your hands. You never offer anything factual it's always your peon opinion that have absolutely no credibility. I would be very interested in knowing what do you offer the black community. I ask this because you pretend to know so much about black women. What do you do other than scratch your ass and spread your bullshit? Probably absolutely nothing!! So with this I say to you...YOU are the sell-out, YOU have the issues, YOU can't educate me on shit, YOU need to be educated, YOU are foolish, YOU are ignorant, YOU are full of shit, YOU are irrelavent...and with that, I am officially through with you... BLOOP!!
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Ichibod says:Posted: 16 Sep 09
LQ, I guess it's like the freestyle battles from "8 Mile". Maybe I've taken their rebuttals away. There's no telling whether they're mad at me or not. It's not my intention... most times. I try to educate, give points of view to help where I may feel a person's thinking is misguided, headed in the wrong direction. What they decide to think and do in the end is still up to them.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 16 Sep 09
Queenbee, I feel sorry for anyone who thinks the only place they can find a black man is in the hood. That's pretty ignorant of them. All black women don't live in the hood, so why would any of them that don't live there think that is a good place to look for a man? Those are the thoughts of a disgruntled thirty year old child. "...Other than black"? Something very disturbing about that sentence fragment. Sounds more like you just don't believe in God. It's not always in the cards (or His plan) for a person to be in a relationship. As men and women, we believe it to be natural and necessary to find a signifcant other, but then again just about everyone is born with eyes and some cannot see out of them. The same goes with ears, arms, legs, and several other bodily functions that don't function as we think they should. Understanding this concept is what being real ourselves means. What I've come to realize from the months I've been on these blogs is that race is not the primary issue here. It's that not many truly understand what goes into and what it takes to make a relationship work. Well, that and too much foolish pride. If we all first learn this, then what race our prospective partners will be and where we will find them or they find us would not be such an issue.
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Laurelton says:Posted: 16 Sep 09
Dear Free Aries Your argument is absurd. When I disagree with a comment I don't belong here. Yet, if someone kisses your ass all day than you don't object. It is just a question to you and all the other sellout black women. I don't got a problem with myself. Why would I have a problem with myself? I am not looking for a relationship. You broadcast your personal lives on a PUBLIC BLOG you dumb Koala bear. Go write that shit in your diary and I wouldn't have to comment on it. Disclaimer alert! If you talk about your personal life anywhere on the internet PEOPLE WILL READ IT. You sound like a bitter old woman. Hey Ich, I guess when you say it to black women they don't get mad. I say something it's "oh why you in my personal life" LOL. I have noticed something on this blog. Black women want to tell you "how to think". " How to come across" when you talk on a blog. I ain't you damn BOYFRIEND. I say what is on my mind period! I wear the pants in my relationship!!!! I plan to release "H1 BLACK GIRL SWINE FLU". I am sure men that have dated black women have come in contact with the symptoms. Uncontrollable crying when you don't listen to her. Constantly being told what to do. Her face getting "screwed up" because you got female friends. Her "undying" need for attention. Oh yea, the most serious symptom "challenging your manhood when she is losing an argument". If you want to be told what to say join the Tatt "class" with World Citizen and Free Aries. I am pretty sure the class is filled with these controlling women. Thank you What's up AZ, Tampa, and Chris.
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Queenbee7519 says:Posted: 16 Sep 09
Black women need to look outside the hood for something other than black. We as sistas are being told over and over since childhood that god will make a way for us to have a man. How many of you are now 30 and older who keep hearing this from mom and other female relatives? At some point black women have to be real with themselves if they want to be married or have a relationship with someone.
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Member says:Posted: 16 Sep 09
Queens Are you suggesting that I don't or have not dated European men? I have never met nor dated anyone from this site, so what is it that you speaketh or ther than BS...you constantly suggest that Black women were loose booty's in college...m'kay, let's just say we were, now what? I've been out of high school for 20 years, what's your point for bringing up what happened in college? I don't think you have problems with black women, however, I think you have issues with yourself. You care way too much about what others are doing in their personal lives...I say you need to get a grip, and really do some serious researc for your whack ass hypothesis' that make absolutely no sense and do not have an ounce of credibility.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 16 Sep 09
That's funny, Tatty Girl. It's your favorite term again. Bashing! Bashing! Bashing! Bashing through the snow, in a one horse open... okay, that's enough. How's it going, LQ? I think some women need to either turn their televisions and radios off, or just get their heads out of the sand or their arses. Which ever hole is deeper. More black women college graduates? So what. There are still black men college graduates every year and a lot of them are single and straight. Geez, why are they only mentioned in passing or as a contrast rather than for the respect they deserve? You are so right about black women needing to guard their reputations. Like the oldest living woman who just recently passed away. She said she never drank, never smoked, and never fooled around. That's what I call a strong black woman. Seeing black men act a fool makes me angry. Seeing black women act a fool makes me very sad. It's our responsibility as men to help guard their reputations as well, but you can't help someone that doesn't want to help themselves. Oh, and who's fault is it that black women are just now beginning to embrace the idea of finding love wherever it may be? Cleopatra seduced Anthony and Caesar. This didn't just start within the last decade or two.
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Tampa_Chris says:Posted: 15 Sep 09
What's good Azrazyel? To answer your question I've pretty much only had relationships with black women most my life and I think like anything your experiences will help bring everything full circle. I mean, ya gonna get a lot of good, but also be prepared for some bad too in just life in general. I mean, I have a loving family that doesn't care who I marry or bring home and I have friends from all backgrounds. You get some people who just aren't comfortable with the idea and unfortunately we live in a harsh society sometimes. All in all its about being honest to yourself and being respectful to whomever you pursue black, white, or other. And if you felt by ya self on here just scroll up a ways to my name and you can read on to see how far me and Mr. Queens have come....lol. That's my dawg. haha.
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 15 Sep 09
Wow! Props to Queens and Tampa Chris for keeping it real. One coming from a black man and the other from a white man. I truly appreciate hearing from both sides as to knowing there is much to learn. Chris: I don't know if you have dated a black woman before, if not then I am in the same boat as you. I TRULY appreciate the BEAUTY, not just physical but the individual herself, of a black woman. I am not looking to 'experiment' with her. I want to meet a black woman and build a friendship with her and maybe eventually, lead to a committed relationship. I know for a FACT I have so much to offer a black woman. I want her to realize love comes from any race. Character shows it's appreciation in any color. I am happy to say, just as you, I am NOT ashamed to publicly state my interests for a black woman. I believe they have been pushed around by the media i.e. stereotypes (undesirables, unmarriageable, undatable material) for too damn long and I think it is time for them to have respect they deserve and to show them there are MANY men of MANY races who appreciate them. In my opinion, knock the fucking white woman off the pedestal already!!! Haha Black women are (more beautiful to me) just as beautiful to the outside world as anyone. I am glad to see the tide turning and they are opening their minds to all races and they know they can be appreciated by any race. I always hear that black women growing up are 'conditioned' to only see that 'only' black men can appreciate them. I am glad those 'conditions' are becoming 'unconditional'. I am glad to see you made it here to these forums Chris, because for so long here I was kinda on my own without regards from my own race and his/her experiences. Queens: Thanks for keeping it real and I appreciate your input. I don't agree with everything you say ha, but I know you as a black man can give me guidance to some things I may or may not need to know. Peace and Blessings
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Justaguy, how are you today? Wow, you have been through some things and probably have more right to cynicism(badly misspelled that too in my first post, lol. Hey, it was 11:54pm!lol)just on G.P. You seem to have kept a positive attitude and good outlook on your life. I have noticed that as we grow older, we start to realize what's really important in life. I'm hoping that one day my cynicism won't be important to hold on to anymore. I would like to read your story. Especially if it as real and gritty as you say. You have lead an interesting and colorful life, so I'm sure the story will be true to life. I wish you much success on that. I checked out the link,um yeah if I were a latin woman, I would be mad as hell,lol. This is why I live by my OWN standand of beauty and not the media's. I have seen african women prettier than these,but I know they won't get the covers on the magazines. Peace