Why some Black women only date White Men
We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those black women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.
The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they'd rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.
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Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.
Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.
Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.
One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.
With that said, the generic phrase - ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?
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1841 responses to "Why some Black women only date White Men"
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TYRANT says:Posted: 18 Aug 09
As a black man, I don't have any problem with black women expanding their options to find love, because love is a precious gem, and should be cherished in whatever color it comes in. I admit, I don't understand, nor do I want to understand, how a black woman doesn't find black men attractive. @carribean cutie-Do I think I'm God's gift to women? Damn straight I do. I think-I'm sorry, did I say "think", because I meant "know". Why? Because I'm intelligent, strong, aggressive, dominant, passionate, deciously wicked, and expressive. Let's just say I'm the total package and leave it at that. Now before you go off on me-an idea I don't recommend under any circumstances-let me be clear that I respect not only your preference for white men, but the fact that you're not physically attracted to black men. However... Don't get it twisted, contrary to popular lore-and it is popular lore, all black men aren't typical-whatever a typical black man is? Honestly, I don't think you know, so it wouldn't surprise me at all if you couldn't tell me. Question to the black women? Are the black men in your families typical? Are the black men in your families lacking in intellect, charm, personality, culture, and a passion to learn and improve themselves? I ask the question because black women like you wouldn't know an intelligent black man if you heard him. Don't deny it, because we ALL KNOW this is TRUE. Like I said I RESPECT-I had to put that in caps because you impress me as the type who has a hard time reading-your right to date and love whom you please. What I DON'T RESPECT is the fact that you're bashing black men-even the good ones-in the process. And ladies, black men-the ones who have lives and are doing something positive for themselves-aren't going to shed any tears over you dating/marrying white men. Why? Because there are TWICE as many women in the world as there are men. I don't expect you to understand this, so don't even try, but the reason why IR dating/marriage is such a BIG DEAL is because NO ONE, especially black men and women, want to compete with other races for each other. That's the BOTTOM line. NEway, this has been fun. Thanks for having me; don't bother escoting me to the door, because I don't want whatever hatred you have to infect me. After all, we can't have TYRANT walking through the door saying he hates black women, how would that look?
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 18 Aug 09
I wouldn't be offended, if a white man call a sista. I love who I am and what I am. I call white men brothas...... We are family, right? Of course, we are! Azra, I will try to find some of my old pieces. I am not sure, where they are. I'll see what I can do.
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shondra says:Posted: 15 Aug 09This is an interesting topic. I am just finding it. I am a military brat. I lived in Italy and Japan as a child. As I hit the preteens, I was in Italy. My first crush was on this beautiful, olive skin toned Italian boy who was my age. He was gorgeous! Most of my schools growing up were mostly white environments. I think this is why I am attracted to white men and men of other races than my own. My first examples of sexiness were non-black. Most of my relationships have been with black men. I am taking off the blinders (worn to focus on black men) and broadening my horizons. I used to be content with my single focus. I no longer am.
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Swtgurl190 says:Posted: 15 Aug 09@Renee I am happy for you, because it does sound like you found someone that you're really compatible with and you seem to make each other very happy. It's sad that your family can't accept him and just be happy for you as well. Hopefully in time as your relationship continues to grow they will come around. Good for you though, for not allowing the negativity influence your choices and allowing yourself to love him and enjoy this journey despite of it. However, I agree with W Citizen, there are many black men that are real and enjoy their women as well. Ones that probably share the same interests as your man does. We need to remember it's about compatibility also and just because a black man isn't into those same things doesn't make him any less real and that he may just be out there enjoying life with his woman and doing different things that make them happy. It sounds like your man has opened your eyes to other ways of enjoyment and that's wonderful. I just think that those statements aide in the negativity of BW/WM interracial relationships. Keep enjoying yourself and I wish you continued happiness...:-)
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Austrian says:Posted: 15 Aug 09RENEE - you describe a wonderful interracial relationship and I can picture you, enjoying the many great activities, life has to offer. With your positive attitude, openness and desire to expand your wings, you will fly to many more exciting places and keep growing to be the interesting woman, an interesting man wants to be with. I feel bad, though, for the people, who can not escape their (negative) environment, are kept down by it and may not have the time and or interest for these natural, recreational activities. Perhaps, some of them have no job, no money and feel trapped by 'modern slave' existence. Of course they will envy women like you and put you down, as they do not stand a chance to be chosen by you. I do not believe, that specifically White men know how to creatively plan a great time. I am afraid it has to do with a man feeling confident about himself and many things around him, a certain financial stability, enough care-free time and the right environment (including friends and family). I met Black men, who offered this type of life style, otherwise I would not have been with them, either. Also they receive hateful comments, because they had 'ADJUSTED' too much. Adjusting to a better life should not be a crime!!! Take care and have an interesting, fulfilling week end!
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 15 Aug 09
Oh man, I didn't even see your first post. lol You can call me whatever you please. Like that song: "I can call you Betty, and Betty when you call me you can call me Al." LOL I have always wondered myself. Do black women care if white men call them sistas? I just think the term is sexy...lol
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 15 Aug 09
BeautyBeyondWords: Oh, by the way… "Azra-I enjoyed your poetry. I write poetry myself. I write all my own music and sing them. I ued to rap, back in the day. What was so funny, the new style of rap you hear today. I was doing in the 90’s ,but people was calling me “crazy.” It was better quality, but I had a new style and they didn’t know anything about that.lol… So, follow your heart and get your stuff published and write a book! I would definitely buy it and I would want a signed copy-okay. Good night- for real this time!" Thank you. Your such a sweetheart. I probably have close to 200 poems. Many of which were lost in time. I would guess since I was 5, I would say I've written near 1000-1500 poems in my 28 years. It is such a blessing that God has given to me as a way to express my feelings at any given time. I basically write about anything and everything. Depends on the nature of my emotions and the circumstances I've been dealt, good or bad. I have a question for you. Would you like to share with me some of your poetry? You may not be open to that idea which is understandable. I was just curious because I enjoy reading others just as much as I enjoy writing them. Well ta ta...lol. Have a good day and I will talk to you later.
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Renee says:Posted: 15 Aug 09
I enjoy the relationship that me and my boyfriend have. I am a black woman and he is white. The one thing that hurts is that his friends except me and my family has pushed him away. I am the first black woman he has ever dated and he really is good to me. We do fun things and I love going out on his boat. For the first time at 42 years old, I dived off a boat in the lake and we went swimming. Going hiking or making chocolate covered strawberries and dancing in the living room to a song playing on the radio. White men are real and they enjoy their woman. He really makes me feel like a princess.Our 1 year anniversary is coming up and I still get butterflies when I see him. It's black people that are cause conflict not white people, at least not his friends.
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 15 Aug 09
Oh, by the way... Azra-I enjoyed your poetry. I write poetry myself. I write all my own music and sing them. I ued to rap, back in the day. What was so funny, the new style of rap you hear today. I was doing in the 90's ,but people was calling me "crazy." It was better quality, but I had a new style and they didn't know anything about that.lol... So, follow your heart and get your stuff published and write a book! I would definitely buy it and I would want a signed copy-okay. Good night- for real this time!
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 15 Aug 09
Azra, You can stay, I guess! lol... I am glad to see that you changed your tone in here. Can I tell you my truth? It was love, no matter what! When people speak from hatred, I pray for them. I never know what a person is going through on the inside. Have you ever heard the song- "Smiling faces tell lies" Well, they do. Some people are hurting from past experiences and have never allowed the Lord to heal their hearts and minds or to forgive people that hurt them. It is important to forgive. It is a healing process for you! We are moving on - I love you, brotha (Azra). I will keep you in prayer and pray that the Lord have His way in you! He made you (the man-any man)a leader. If you are unsure where you are going- how can you lead anyone? Work through your issues and know that we are all cheering you on, Boo! Can I call you the "ghetto" term, now? lol...lol... j/k Everyone be blessed, tonight. I have a HOT date and Guess what? I can't be late! lol..lol...
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 13 Aug 09
Jfields: "My main question is how can people narrow their dating choices down by race? Its makes no sense to me…Is it because you like the appearance of only white men, or do you feel that white men inherently are better mates. I feel weird saying this because I have been heckled for dating outside the black race(I’m a male) But I never made a predetermined choice, I will date anyone of any race that I feel is on my level and clicks." I don't know, maybe because someone is attracted to a CERTAIN race? Everyone has their preference. It's your preference to be willing to find love from any race. Maybe somebody else has only white because it's their preference. It's common logic. I personally have 'all ethnicities' because I know that love comes from any race. Everyone has their reasoning.
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Jfields says:Posted: 13 Aug 09
My main question is how can people narrow their dating choices down by race? Its makes no sense to me...Is it because you like the appearance of only white men, or do you feel that white men inherently are better mates. I feel weird saying this because I have been heckled for dating outside the black race(I'm a male) But I never made a predetermined choice, I will date anyone of any race that I feel is on my level and clicks.
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Swtgurl190 says:Posted: 12 Aug 09
Wow, what a difference a day makes :-) Godiva,thanks for your kind words. Like Citizen, I've read a lot from you and you are always inspirational as well. I want you to know that it's appreciated and I feel you are BEAUTIFUL too! :-) Beauty, indeed you are blessed! :-) Bigeyes, God bless you as well! :-)
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 11 Aug 09
Thank you world citizen for your support. I feel encouraged by your statements and take it to heart. You have always had nothing but positive things to say on this board. I've noticed you before, but I can tell you now it is good to have someone like you with good spirits, even through the negativity. Hello Natalie! How are you? Long time no talk..... I am glad you have some understanding of who and why I am the person I present myself to be in here. I can tell you in real life, it is nothing like this negativity you see. I am kind hearted to all and also loving and caring and full of understanding for others. I guess I am trying to seek my way through this emotional journey I am on right now. I may tend to be bold-hearted or unkind in my delivery at times, many of which I say before I think. I guess sometimes I hate the fact that I am a straightforward person and just let my emotions flow without any reasoning for my dissent. I will keep praying for myself that may God strengthen me, and build this foundation of sand into a solid foundation. Take Care
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 11 Aug 09
Azrazyel You are an artist and most artist are very passionate and full of emotion. It can sometimes become overwhelming and spill over. As you can see from some of the wonderful and understanding people on this board, most realize this. I think the offenses came more from your delivery more so than the message itself. But, you have tried to rectify the situation,which takes much strength to do. Peace
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Austrian says:Posted: 11 Aug 09
Dearest Godiva61, even when I do not mention you specifically in my comments, YOU are VERY PRESENT in my mind and with everything you have said to anyone in the past, I feel an intense closeness, as though you are family. Love and warm hugs!
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Austrian says:Posted: 11 Aug 09
Dear Azrazyel, also I - a multi-national middle aged mother - had a problem with the way you had expressed yourself in the past. Obviously, you are looking for healing and try to find it anywhere - even if it is by accidentally coming across an interracial blog. In order to help yourself, you MISUSED Black women - perhaps subconsciously. There are several approaches to get to know a different culture. As in my case, I grew up without prejudice, concerning Blacks and Jews, and having been NAIV, I opened myself generously. This must have come across as honest and kind, as I personally only encountered good experiences with Black people, till this day. Another good approach to associate with Blacks or to date Black Women is, to be well educated on their culture - U.S. as well as African. That will show them sincere interest. Your approach is the most difficult, as you probably grew up with prejudice, could not rid yourself of the disease until now, thereby coming across as untrustworthy - to BALCK WOMEN and/or any other women!!! You have much strength, by ripping yourself out of your past journey, in order to turn into the opposite direction, with the opportunity to find the bright healing light. By having done so, you noticed all the recent helpful female and male spirits, who are ready to accompany you to a better, fulfilling life. Once you ARRIVED, there are options for all kinds of women of ANY COLOR. If you are a TRUE RELIGIOUS BELIEVER, talk to a Black Priest about your problems and ask, if you may attend religious services in his Black Congregation! You'll get ALL the religion you are longing for and MORE!!! Take care - and I would love to read some of your poetry after your BLACK EXPERIENCE!
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 11 Aug 09
One more written by me in January 2006: "My Deepest Sorrow" Lost in hate I try to see, What has brought my integrity, All my hope I try to flee, What holds me down inside of me. I walk this path what seems to be, A hopeless thought I'm not so free, Give me hope and another chance, Wake me up from this horrible trance. Beneath the ground is where I stand, Praying for a healing hand, All this anger I know I can, My solid foundation has turned to sand. On my knees I pray for hope, This wealthy life has gone for broke, My time in hell I've lost my mind, These missing pieces will come in time. 'My deepest sorrow' am I to blame, Am I the one who deserves the pain, I scream out loud but no one hears, This distant sound as I fall to tears. The paths I choose feel the same, These days pass by as it continues to rain, 'My deepest sorrow' still remains. I cry for help then look up high, To look back down with a sigh, I almost feel I'm out of time, I feel the darkness I hold inside. I feel the tremble I feel so wet, All my body is covered in sweat, These distant years will fade away, Trapped in this prison with nothing to say. All this solitude I'm now awake, I've been forgiven but still feel hate, Caught in this land of misery, I look around with nowhere to flee. No way out is all I see, No answer here to set me free, I breathe the air of eternity, A different ending is what I seek. ............... An evil thought is on my mind, A crooked trail I leave behind, The things I do are all a crime, I piece of mind I have yet to find. Make amends to do the same, Right from wrong I'm put to shame, A better year I have yet to make, It's over now please give me space. I feel the anguish I feel the heat, That burns inside I feel discreet, From my head to my feet, From the heart where I bleed. Done so wrong I lay at night, My body's worn and can no longer fight, I lie within with all my might, A prayer of hope.....this pain....I cry
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 11 Aug 09
I would like to share some poetry with those of you who like it. "Unraveled Remains" The dawn of night settles upon the land, The ocean water breaks upon the sand. Winds that howl send silence and gloom, The still of light subtles the moon. Upon the hills echoes many cries, Far it reaches, fades then dies. With peace in reach one cannot grasp, Much fear inside to breathe and gasp. Shadows of one it does so cast, Reflections of two, unrest amass. A lightened breeze settles inside, Finding way to silence the cries. Deliverance of peace now lights it's way, To fading fear now driven away. For once were there these shadows of one, To leave a void that remains undone. To breathe in life I have begun, Unraveled Remains, in regress, I shun -That was written by me in June 2009. "Whispers in the Forest" Darkness drives the wind of night, An endless forest with endless sight. Trees sway at the constant beat, Of the trembling at the ground beneath. Silence pierces all that's still, With fear in those who seek the light. Howls and cries of the lonesome ones, Remains in place, remains undone. Fear is few and far in between, The silent ones who remain unseen. The moon eclipses through the dark, To the abyss it has been charred. The forest stirs with mighty wind, Unrest is found from deep within. A final cry cracks the night, The light of dawn is now in sight. The restless ones now lay in peace, The stir of whispers have fled their dreams. -Written by me in April 2009 A soldier's life" (Also about the selfishness in each of us) Under siege we fall behind, It's now too late, we're out of time. A child's dream embraced in fears, So much pain that's shown with tears. Gone to war, no reason to find, An innocent man has lost his life. The rise and fall, America's dream, This living nightmare with piercing screams. "The truth be told, we lay to rest, Looking for answers to clean this mess. We dug this hole, it's now too deep, Six feet under he lays to sleep. He fought so hard it's hard to believe, Another life... Rest in peace. Another day down on our knees, The rise and fall of America's dream." Up at dawn he's now awake, He feels the sorrow but who's to blame? Fighting this war he's torn in two, The pain and misery is overdue. Anger feeds his soul within, The view he has is all but sin. Nighttime falls, he lays and cries, Tears are shed for his family behind. He awakes early then glazes the sky, Looking for answers to end this strife. He falls to his knees as a tear hits the ground, His sanity and morality is nowhere to be found. He thinks to himself, what is worth living? Is anything real, or any worth believing? ... He takes the barrel and points it to his head, As he pulls the trigger... He falls... This soldier is dead." -Written by me March 2008. Not trying to sound to religious here, but that is a gift from God. It is a good way for me to vent.
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 11 Aug 09
Beauty: "Azrazyel, I know you were talking to Inchibod, but may I add a comment here. Act like the light is already there, and the darkness will clear. It’s funny how the light comes to us when we are in the right frame of mind to see it. Emotions tend to fail us sometimes, behaviors will save us in the long run." You are right my friend. I have weathered many storms in my life, only to see that it was washed away. God does not promise smooth sailing, but he does promise a smooth landing. Eventually, His will shall overcome and my mind will finally be at ease.
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 11 Aug 09
Thank you Beauty. Thanks for the comments and sentiments. I suppose it's a matter of separating the good apples from the bad. I'm sure there are many White women who date out for a rebellion/revenge factor. Same goes with any race. I seek genuine love and compassion. And I know God will lead me to all that is genuine, for in Him comes no negativity. Later
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SanAntonioBeauty says:Posted: 11 Aug 09
Azrazyel, I know you were talking to Inchibod, but may I add a comment here. Act like the light is already there, and the darkness will clear. It's funny how the light comes to us when we are in the right frame of mind to see it. Emotions tend to fail us sometimes, behaviors will save us in the long run. Sorry if my 59 cents was out of place.
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SanAntonioBeauty says:Posted: 11 Aug 09
Arazyel, it takes a man to come back and apologize and make a mends. I can not accept your apology because I don't absorb negativity. I did however, suspect you were just venting, given your presence here and your aforementioned affirmation about black women. The terrible thing about the internet is once you click send, it's out there. The good thing is you can clean it up immediately. Hurt run deep with all women, not just black women. No woman fits easily into a box of assumptions. What you may find with black women, is that we have a great deal of passion about a lot of things, who we are, how we love, and our men, no matter what color he may be. A little side note, black culture is not homogeneous,it can not be easily defined, nor can white culture. There is the inner city black culture, specific to the city in which one lives, hip hop culture which is not exclusively black, traditional American culture which is not exclusively white nor black, northern, western, eastern, southern black culture which is different from the Midwest black culture and Chicago black culture. With respect to white and all other cultures the same differences apply, in addition to your family country of origin coloring who you are. I know you are aware of all this. I just wanted to clarify this point, since you and others have mentioned black culture on more than one occasion. Azrazyel, God speed on your quest to find what you are looking for, the journey should come with lots of joy and not so much angst.
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 11 Aug 09
Hey Ich! Brother, I really appreciate it. I think most of it really comes down to the fact that I have myself believing that every single Black woman is dating out for revenge. I mean we all want genuine love, no matter the race right? Maybe I am the only one who thinks this way, or has publicly stated my thoughts or feelings. I mean, there is no true denial that I am truly interested in a Black woman. I mean why else am I here? Maybe there is deeper issues within my own mind that I need resolved. I give God ALL the credit for opening my eyes to Black women. I believe as a Christian, God sets our destiny before us, and I really believe that He has sent me here. I actually found this website by accident by the way. God works in mysterious ways..... I just want to get to know a Black woman without the trance of distorted thoughts within my mind, heart and soul. I have accepted this as my destiny, but I cannot figure out why this is so hard. I have and am willing to put off White women to really see what this destiny of mine that God has placed before me. Maybe there is something that a Black woman can provide me, and I for her, that no other woman at this time could possibly do. It is truly exciting for me, but I still have the negative thoughts that drives into my heart like a nail and pulverizes me with unending pain. I am hurt right now because these thoughts are holding me back..... I will pray for myself that eventually I will finally see the light and redeem myself for what was placed here. Thanks for your understanding Ich. I appreciate your sympathies and I am truly grateful that I can talk to someone like you. Take care
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Ichibod says:Posted: 11 Aug 09You're a good guy, Azrazyel. For a second, I was wondering what was happening. I mean, I KNOW what was happening and why (I also saw it coming), but I knew you would come around sooner or later. To me, you've been the most genuine, open-minded, and overall "bigger man" with your comments in many of these topics. Not to mention, you were missed for a while. Your absence kind of made me quell a bit of own my anger. I started to guitly and feel partly responsible for you taking a break from the blog, honestly. Anyway, take care of yourself and I hope to see you around. Especially when James decides to put up a new topic. Later!
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 11 Aug 09
I guess I realize I have some hatred built within me. I honestly don't know wherein it lies, or why it is there. I am not this kind of person. Maybe I need to pray for myself that God can shine his light on the evilness in me. I apologize to you women I have offended, even if I didn't. I don't expect forgiveness or a pity party of sorts. This was my own doing. Again, please see past the darkness I have shown and please, in some way shape or form, somehow realize there is good within me. I regret what was done, albeit what was done is done. I understand if you don't want to speak to me any more. I'm sure the damage I have caused was over done. But I put my deepest apologies and sympathies in these words, and may God help light my way and find the better me. May peace be upon you all and good luck in all you do.
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
I'm still here. As long as my name is mentioned I will be. Good song by the way. Thanks for calling me stupid. But that term was given to you a long time ago........
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
Yes.... SISTAHPOWER!!!!! (women of all color) (Standing against all stupid men) lol... WE NEED A CARTOON! LOL.... Ladies, we are all we have. Don't ever forget it! Now, don't stand with wrong for anybody- but don't forget that we ARE SOMEBODY!
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
Azra, Good -Exit with the next button! Hit the road jack! And don't you come back- no more, no more, no more, NO MORE! Hit the road jack! And don't you come back no more!
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
Thank you all for your comments: I have no problem finding a white woman. Stop trying to make silly excuses to please yourself. I have realized that my interests in black women are now void, it was a temporary thing, and I realize they have nothing worth to give. You don't really have to waste your time writing to me, as I myself am doing so. I apologize for making assumptions, but you need to be at square one when you make assumptions on me as well. When I attack with lame arguments, I see the attack on me just as lame. I wish I wouldn't have wasted 6 months of my precious life and breath even considering being interested. I feel like a fool who has had a nightmare delivered by the devil. And I wouldn't want my social status fall to the bottomless pits of hell. And why rock the boat when everything is smooth sailing? I have no one to blame but myself for a nightmare of despicable creed. I now feel infected and worthless for lowering my standards to the dense layer of insanity. I feel like of suffocation with no room to breathe. A cancerous cell of proportionate disease, blinding me with nothing to see. And yes I am a Christian too. But why point your finger for my wrongs, when you have ten pointing back? Anyway, may God bless you all and I thank God for letting me see the worthless scum that was placed in front of me. Take care
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
Ladies!Beauty,Godiva(with a capital G,lol),World,Swtgurl,all I can say is....keep holding it down,lol. Nothing like strong, intelligent, proud(and nonblack)black sisters sticking together! And they said we couldn't do it!!! God bless you all! Peace
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
By the way... where are you from? Thank God for your ministry work and may the Lord continue to use you and give you a double annointing for HIS Glory! Keep it going and stay encouraged - even when it gets tiresome or discouraging. Remember that its not might- But by HIS SPIRIT!
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
You tell him -Godiva! You let your afro out,girl! You forgot the perm! lol...lol... Girl, he ain't worth the conversation! lol... Thanks and give me a HIGH FIVE !!!!!!
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
Thanks SWT.... Girl, one thing that I love being is a lady! And don't get me started on being a beautiful black lady. We are blessed, aren't we? Girl, hold your guns and keep it moving. I don't sweat the small stuff. People are starving in the world - People are hurting in the world and you think that I am going to argue about a white man not wanting me? That is a joke! There are bigger fish to fry, than that. Let's talk about me being blessed to have my own house... my own car...A nice savings account... my own company... A good job... The best son in the world (honor student)who volunteers his time with me in the nursing homes, homeless shelters and so forth.... I am a single parent. My son can never say that he seen men running in and out of our home or heard me cussing or being "obnoxious" or even disrespectful to anyone. He will be a wonderful husband to any woman! And like the song states .... *Never could have made it without HIM* HE (God) keeps on doing great things for me! Much love to you -girl! Keep on doing you! By the way... I did get off of my original point, but when I talk about Jesus and ALL that HE has done for me.... I can't stop!
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godiva61 says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
Azrazyel, I have been waiting and praying for the right time to respond to you. I rarely have extra time on my hand's due to my type of work, and my work schedule, my 86 yr old mother, and my work in the prision ministry. Today, is a ME day!!!!!! First off, your issue with people not having/posting a picture is YOUR issue!!! There are many different reasons as to why a person may not want to post a picture, it's their choice.. I think it's most IMPORTANT to focus on what the person is saying, versus what they look like.... I also think that it is very IMMATURE not to take someone serious because there is no PICTURE to go along with their comments.... We can see what you look like but that does not mean that you will be taken more seriously, or less seriously. This picture issue reminds me of a news story that I heard the other day when a neighborhood was describing the neighbor who is being accused of molesting two children in their neighborhood. They all said "he looked like a normal guy, he is very attractive, but in the same breath, they referred to his odd behavior towards children, always having them over to his house, buying inappropiate gift's etc". Maybe they should have focused more on his behavior, than what he looked like!! You were out of line by asking Beauty "how can someone take you seriously when there is no picture behind your word's"? I and other's took her very seriously!!! When you said, "we don't want you need you, talk to you, hold your hand, kiss and hug you. We have our choices of who we like, and BLACK WOMEN will ALWAYS remain the scraps at the bottom of the barrel", end of quote.. Since you claimed that you are interested in BLACK WOMEN, where do you fall into the barrel? Tell me again, why are you on this site? You seem to talk out of both sides of your mouth!!! I also didn't appreciate your attacking Beauty in the manner that you did!! Maybe it would be in your best interest to not to assume, and ask before you go on the attack!! Your perception of what she wrote seems to be somewhat DIFFERENT from what other's perceived it. If you are not sure, how about asking first? As far as your advice to her about posting her picture for responses, maybe she would get more of a QUANTITY of responses, but QUANTITY is the the same as QUALITY!!! It seems to me that she is a woman that focuses more on substance.. Last but not least, you are not old enough, wise enough to, cultured enough to sit back and judge black men and women relationships. True, there is some riff between us that is displayed on this site, but it is a vey small fraction!!!!! Believe it or not, this site is not the summary of the MAJORITY of BLACK relationships in America. There are MANY Black on Black relationships, that are HEALTHY, SUCESSFULL and LOVING. Unfortunately, through various types of media, WE are almost alway's shown in a negative light, men and women.. We have Black owned businesses, ALL Black MEN are not thugs, THE MAJORITY of BLACK MEN, take care of their children and their families, some have to work two jobs. And yes a FEW black men and women tear each other down, but it's only a FEW!!!! I don't think that you have the knowledge, understanding, or the independent mindset, to understand!!! Outside of this blog when have you, if ever, went total Rebel against your upbringing and your environment, to establish a meaningful relationship with a person of color???? How many times have you ever stood on the wall, denounced the ignorance, and suffer the consequences of being rejected, by your peers? Or did you just play it safe, and look the other way, or disagreed in silence? Do you know who Marcus Garvey is, Patrice Lumumba, Emmitt Till? Yes, I'm putting out here, like this!! There is nothing wrong with keeping an open mind, and options about dating outside of your culture, I want everyone here to find true love!! However, I hope that you choose your mates wisely!! You should want and EXPECT that someone who want's you, want's you for the right reasons, and who is knowledgeable about your culture, your pain, struggles, as well as your JOY. All couples have their hardships and challenges, but, it's in my opinion that IR couples will have to deal with extra added nonsense, especially if the combo is black/white. The few IR couples that I know that has lasted and is still going strong to this day, is because of the knowledge and being real!!!! godiva
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
Azra, Maybe, you didn't understand me.... I've been dating white men exclusively for the last few months. I broke it off. I didn't see stars. You are not addressing the point, you are dancing around what seems to be your issue with probably all women. The white women don't want you and neither do anyone else. Or as my "Bigma" used to say... "you can't kill nothing and won't nothing die" lol... I don't have a problem finding men of all races. Every man that I ever dated told me that, I was the best woman ever AND We are still friends! I am dating all the time. I enjoy fellowship!So, find you some business,boo! Find somebody to want you..and stop wasting time on someone who wouldn't have even looked at you. Your argument is void,because you keep yelling white men wouldn't want me - But they do! And who have to prove what to you? I am a grown woman and the one thing that I don't like to do is argue. I never have. By the way... Black men can date whomever makes them happy. If they like white women - what affect does that have on my life? To be honest (no offence to white women in the room).. Every black man, I know that have a white woman... she is taking care of him. So, if I have to prove my love and take care of any man- then single is what I will always be! The Lord told me to help.... and that is what I will do! And you are probably the reason they love black men so much! Hell- I would to, if you were the among the choices! You know why? Because your attitude stinks! Why are you here? Ran out of choices? or you didn't' have one? In reality - I wish you the best and I pray that you find everything that you are looking for. I don't appreciate your comments on black women,but you can say what you want. It doesn't alter anything about me or anybody else in this blog. It just illustrates the ignorance and prejudice from your heart. God has a heart to give you.... Consider a transplant!
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godiva61 says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
WorldCitizen, I agree, the most unfortunate people, are the one's who live,and thrive in the destruction of the human spirit. We all have the power to change, to uplift and inspire, and it's been in my experience in my own life and the lives of other's is to "lead by example". As alway's, grateful to hear from you!! godiva
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godiva61 says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
Swtgurl90, I think that you are BEAUTIFUL, inside and out. We should all focus more of the inner shell, versus the outter shell.. godiva
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godiva61 says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
Laurelton Queens, I really appreciate that you accepted my compliment, and thank you for your compliment to me. Both me and my husband was in the Military, and that's how we met. He was an extraordinary Man, and I miss him so much!! Once we married, my priority was Him first, and my career second. It's hard to be in the Military, and it's much more difficult when both the husband and wife are in the Military. I RESPECT your honesty about your own personal reservations about interracial dating and marriage. I too have some concerns. My main concern is when a woman or man, put down, bash, verbally degrade, stereotype, your own culture for one's reasoning to date/marry someone from another culture. I will NEVER understand this mentality, nor will I condone it!!! To say " I ONLY date" this one or that one, is in my opinion, the equivalent of saying, "such and such is better than you"!! I don't like it!!! Last, but not least, I respect and admire any person, who can look within themselves and acknowledge, when applicable, that there may be, or a need, to change whatever it is that they may feel they need to change in order to make them a better, andd wiser person. Your trying to listen more, and being proactive instead of being reactive, say's a lot more about you than you realize. We ALL need to improve, get rid of some garbage, listen more, and strive for Peace. It takes great character, and strength to rise above our flaws and we ALL are flawed. Flaws, arrogance, conceit, greed is a spirit, it plays on our emotions and holds us back, but only if we let it!! Have a great Monday!
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godiva61 says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
Ichibod, Yes, I did get my "Lord" on yesterday, and I NEEDED it!!! The message was, "Don't let NOTHING or NOONE turn you into a CRIPPLE". The message was right on time and I'm glad I had a Sunday off.. Hope that you are having a great Monday! godiva
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Swtgurl190 says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
Dear World Citizen, first of all, thank you for the compliment, that made me blush...:-) But more importantly, thank you for your kind words (as always, because I've read your posts in the past) and for being so inspirational. I love what you said to 85kguy about black men and I believe it's true. You're also right about interracial lovers, we're not unfortunate. I think anyone that can love someone regardless of their skin color or how society may view them are the most fortunate. I try to always see people for what's inside and you are a Truly Beautiful! Thanks for sharing your.......peace. :-)
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Austrian says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
Dear 85kguy, BLACK MEN (and not only men) live thru an extremely unfortunate phase in HISTORY. I have endless compassion with you, who do not stand an equal chance from the time you are born, it is terribly UNJUST. However, looking at evolution, some hundred years are JUST A PHASE. Your TIME will come, please do not give up and think of all the advantages YOU AS BLACK PEOPLE have, to eventually SUCCEED. INTERRACIAL LOVERS are not unfortunate. You find on these blogs wonderful people, who support others with their good experiences, offering honest, loving, spiritual and friendly support. The MOST UNFORTUNATE GROUP IN AMERICA - and the rest of the world - are commentators on these blogs, who spit their unhappiness, prejudice, frustration, hopelessness, self hate, insecurity, aggressiveness! Let us all help to heal these wounded souls! Swtgurl190, what a velvety beauty + perfect color combination!
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Swtgurl190 says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
@85kguy Wow, I think you might be right especially with some of the crap flying around here. Although I don't know if you can just say "interracial lovers", it's more like wm/bw lovers. Everything else seems to be more acceptable. @Beauty I've really gotta applaud you for not taking the bait though. Remain the lady that you are.
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85kguy says:Posted: 10 Aug 09I used to think the most unfortunate group in America was black men. Now I am thinking that it is interracial lovers.
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azrazyel says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
beauty: "WOMEN YOU CAN EITHER BUILD A MAN OR TEAR HIM DOWN! BUILD HIM UP" The problem is black women have torn the black man down, and that is why they left you. White women are much more caring and kind than the typical black woman. When will you realize what you have done to black men? And then try and spread it to us white men like a cancerous disease? No thanks! Please, stay with your own or stay single and stop infecting us white men with your garbage. It is a sad thing that young black men nowadays are being incarcerated, imprisoned for unjustifiable reasons. It truly saddens me. Let me ask you, how can someone here take you seriously when there is no picture behind your words? How do I know I am wasting my time talking to a 12 year old kid? Albeit I am wasting my time talking to a (supposedly) black woman anyway? If you never put your picture up, you will never see how many white men reject you and see the laughing stock that you black women 'think' we are interested. haha....sorry (shaking my head) Anyway, why are you really here on this site? Trying to find a white man to save you? To bitch and complain to about 'oh, no more black men left for me', or 'why do these black men keep dating white women'?. Stop trying to fool yourself and wake up! We don't want you, we don't need you, talk to you, hold your hand, kiss you, hug you, compliment you, etc. etc. We have our choices of who we like, and black women will ALWAYS remain the scraps at the bottom of the barrel.
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
And because I like to keep it real.... White men are really not sexy to me,at all. There are some cute ones,now! I mean FINE! But, not really what I would call sexy. So, that means I am what? "not real?" lol... *WHATEVER!* I've seen some foul white men, so color is definitely not the the solution to anyone's problem. I am not looking for a white man to "save" me, because black men are extinct or as you said "left the black women" - I personally don't care what black men do. I just get offended, when they forget who and where they came from and feel that every other race is superior to their own. I don't change like the weather. Because you see me dating white men doesn't mean I forgot that I am black. Just because I am dating a white man doesn't mean that my problems are over. It simply means that I am open to male human beings. lol... I love family time. Traditional family dinners... Saturday night family games... I love to ski... I love camping trips...I would try new things in a New York minute! I've been trying to plan a ski trip in Wisconsin for the longest. The only ones willing to go is my white friends. Sometime, I thing black folks limit themselves too much and not willing to go outside the box. When I dated white men- Iloved that about them. We could build a rocket and fly to the moon! They were more open. Does that mean black men are not? Of course not! One thing that I've noticed with a lot of our young black men is that they don't have a positive role model sometimes. So, they never really learned how to truly love... how to really let go and be the man God has called them to be. Not what I want them to be, but what God has called them to be. Which is a leader! When I talk to the young men in jail... They always tell me how they promised they would be better than their fathers... But end up being the same or worst. Black men have it hard. Dealing with society and dealing with a black women! lol... Black women ain't no joke, now.Ha!Ha! Thats why for every man.... WOMEN..... * SUPPORT YOUR MAN * COOK HIM DINNER AND TELL HIM HOW MUCH YOU LOVE HIM ALL THE TIME * RUN HIS BATH WATER * WASH HIS CLOTHES * GET UP EARLY AND MAKE HIS BREAKFAST * NEVER DENY HIM LOVE FROM YOU -NOT SUE! APPRECIATE A GOOD MAN! WHEN A MAN KNOWS THAT EVERYTHING YOU HAVE IS HIS... HE FEELS SAFE.... HE'LL GO TO WORK AND WILL PUT IN TRIPLE JUST FOR YOU! WOMEN YOU CAN EITHER BUILD A MAN OR TEAR HIM DOWN! BUILD HIM UP AND WATCH HOW FAR AND HOW HIGH YOU BOTH WILL GO! MUCH LOVE TO ALL OF YOU!
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azrazyel says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
Oh, BTW: I don't appreciate being called the ghetto term, Boo! My standards rise much higher than that.
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azrazyel says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
Beauty: I am glad you can look at other races. But I am telling you that is why white men don't need a woman like you. I mean no disregard or disrespect. Us white men survive without a black woman on our arms. We always have and always will until the end of time. We don't need black women to fall for us. We find love in white, Asian and Hispanic women 98% of the time. We don't need the drama of a black woman, nor the other unending amounts of bullshit that comes along with it. I see in here that the stereotypes are true for black women. Loud, annoying, obnoxious. And most of all, putting black men down to justify a despicable reason to try and find you a white man. We are not suckers for you, nor will we ever be. Maybe as sex toys, but if we accepted you as datable, marriageable you would see wm/bw couples all over. I give you the facts, you can distort them later as much as you please. I pity the white man who finds you. Who wants a washed up black woman who has exhausted all avenues with black men, then come back and bash them for dating white women? We don't need to hear the bitching and complaining, I would die of a brain aneurysm and a heart attack at age 35 if I was foolish enough to fall for that bait. I want a woman who is loyal, and doesn't need reasons to justify pathetic ambitions such as yours. White men are NOT a black woman's option, although many of you continue to still think so. Let me know when all works out for you. Until then....I will patiently wait..... Peace
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BeautyBeyondWords says:Posted: 10 Aug 09
Mr. Laurelton, See, I've been there and done that with you. You got sense, when you want it. You were right. I agreed with everything you said! I am very old-fashion ,too. I am not aggressive, because I don't think that I should be. I met a white man a few weeks ago and he did tell me that my signal of interest is hard. I am very friendly, but he wasn't sure, if I was approachable for a relationship. I was "cool." So, you were right on point about that. Big Eyes - Sista, we are here! I would rather wait too. We are too precious for all that other stuff. I like to say... "The Lord didn't give His life for me for nothing." I was bought with a price! A price that only Jesus paid! Thank you, Jesus! It is Sunday, ain't it? I like to have church! Ha!Ha! Don't let me start preaching! Azra- You got me twisted, Boo! Black people are beautiful! Black men are amazing! But, that doesn't take away from white men. White men have their uniqueness, too. I date white men, but it is not because, I don't feel there are no good black brothas out here! I can like more than one thing. Don't you like french fries and pizza? One taste different from the other, right? Black men are definitely sexy... but white men have provided other things to me, that I never got from a black man. At the end of the day... Sexy (from any race) can't pay a bill of mine nor make me happy. It's just eye candy.... But, it is deeper than that for me. My first boyfriend was white and I didn't know anything about a color. He would bring me candy everyday and we would play and have the most fun!We always said that we would be together forever! lol.. My point is... Unlike some black folks (some may get offended)I don't date other races and lose my heritage, nor where I came from.I love being black. I love my black people. Black men are sexy to me - I don't care ,if you like it or not. Call me fake.... But, I am looking inside out and not outside in (no matter what race).
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TYRANT: I see your points. But, as a white man I find it extremely uncompelling when I see bashing going on between black people from both sides. Nobody should have to justify their reasoning for preferring a different race. What is a total and utter disgrace is to see certain folks bashing and hating whilst putting down their OWN race of people. I could never imagine, in any given beam of light, that I would EVER bash down my own race. I would never do that no matter the reasoning. Maybe I am different, I just don't feel the need to hate on people from my own race while going on to say another is much better. It would be of great disown if I were to do that. I would be putting down my mother and father. Never in the light of day would or could I ever do such a thing. I don't really understand the black culture all too well to really know why black people are so damn vocal about everything. I am definitely not saying all blacks to this, but judging this forum, as well as others, black folks are repeatedly on the barge against each other. It's rather sickening to see brothers and sisters filled with so much hate, it gets pretty sickening to see after a while. Maybe it is the struggle that black people have and still face that causes such tension and uprising. I know damn well I have a lot to learn, not just that but a will to understand it as well. All I can do is make assumptions based on sole input, right or wrong. I would love someday that brothers and sisters can quit with the nonsense already, love each other and RESPECT one another and their choices. Is it too late to dream? I certainly hope not....