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Why some Black women only date White Men

Posted by James, 17 Jan

We always talk about Black women and how they can’t date White men. Well, there are those black women that only date White men. I remember a pal of mine telling me once that she will never get married to Black man. And even as kids, when playing make believe, she was always married to a White guy.

The reason for women like her who only date white men may be very similar to the reasons why most Black women only date Black men … attraction. Some also feel that Black men treat them better than any other man ever could, and they feel that they'd rather have what they know instead of experimenting with what they don’t know.

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Some Black women are just not physically attracted to Black men. And as much as parents usually like hooking us up with people of our own race, well it reaches a time when you have to be honest with yourself. Imagine my pal for example: As a child, her first crush was Adam Sandler, then as she got older, she fell in love with Mel Gibson. This doesn’t mean that Black men aren’t handsome – they are just not her type.

Some also feel that White men (not ALL but many) find black women to be remarkable in every sense of the word; hence Black women tend to gravitate towards those affections. Much as her husband treats her better than any man ever had, one lady admits that she has been with some White men that disgusted her with their behaviors. But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels.

Some are just wildly turned on by the differences … skin color, hair, being raised in different cultures, music, foods … the list is endless. Its all about the desire for the mysterious and unknown. And for some, its just pure love because there are those that forget that we are ‘black’ and ‘white’ and just coincidentally happened to fall in love with a White guys.

One thing we all have to remember is that not every White man is a Black woman’s dream. It all depends on the individual … good and bad comes in all colors.

With that said, the generic phrase - ‘It should be about love and not color’ – is cute. But in this case, not entirely truthful. Its not only about love. Much as love gets cultivated eventually, there is physical attraction and a declaration to date only one race. Racist or preference?

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1841 responses to "Why some Black women only date White Men"

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  1.   e-dub says:
    Posted: 20 Jun 08

    Dear Everyone, The most intimate and important decision any will ever make in their life is the choice of who they marry. I married my wife because I'm a better person for having her in my life. (Why she consented is still a mystery to me.) I know marrying black woman would make my life more complicated but so what! Friends, family members who offered their ugly opinions about my wife are no friends of mine -- marrying a black woman just make it easier to idenitify who really was my friend and more importantly who I wanted as a friend. If you are lucky enough to find someone you can laugh with, cry with, hold in your arms and wake up next to for sixty years count your blessings and grab that chance when you have it because it might not come around a second time. The only thing skin color tells you is how much sun screen you need to put on when you go to beach.

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  2.   Tampa_Chris says:
    Posted: 19 Jun 08

    My man, You can't put all white people in a box. I grew up in a very ol' school Italian neighborhood and very proud of that, but my mom took in a little girl when I was a child and she was black. I grew up eatin' my Cheerios with my black sister and my white sister and knew no difference. MY godson is from Trinidad and his mother is my best friend in the world. In my lifetime I've dated all races and my family has never disowned me, my friends have never laughed at me nor had off color jokes, and my reputation is stronger than most men black or white seeing that i'm a founding member of the Tampa Florida NAACP chapter and civil rights activist. Jus as I may not know the experiences as a black professional I would never put them all in the same category. Tough I am quick to respond I am not dumb. There are situations such as the ones you explain, but please keep an open mind. It's my generation thats changing this world for the better.

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  3.   Member says:
    Posted: 19 Jun 08

    I've read quite a few of the comments posted on this blog and I would like to state my opinion. I am an educated black man. My parents are college graduates, still married and afforded me with a middle class life style growing up. I went to college, graduate school and have a professional job in my field (planning director/administrator). I've never been arrested, don't do drugs, and I have a progressive outlook on life. However, when I read all of these comments on black women only dating white men I feel offended. Granted, I have slept with a large amount of chicks; white, mixed, black, spanish, etc. Nonetheless, I certainly would only be in a committed relationship with a black women. For one, she is the only woman who could provide me with the level of companionship and understanding that I need. Our experiences are similar, particularly as black professionals. I want my children to be born of a black woman, because she is who I am. As a black women, what could a white man give you that a black man couldnt? A vast majority of black men are as smart, good looking, and sucessful as any white man. Whats funny is, while you women date this white man, his family disowns him for dating a black woman, his friends laugh at him for dating a black woman, his reputation becomes jeopardized by dating a black woman. How is that being happy? Someone answer please...

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  4.   Tampa_Chris says:
    Posted: 18 Jun 08

    That last post was ill. I'm glad to be around positive sistas such as ya selves. Keep doin ya thing ladies.

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  5.   blkf4realman says:
    Posted: 17 Jun 08

    My preference has always been white men. It should not matter what race the man you are dating or in love with. The only thing that should matter is that you care and love eachother. Living in the south has its challenges. It is very difficult to meet a white man that is not wanting to know whats it like to be with a black woman. I have to be careful and try to seperate the good guys from the bad. You would think that in this day and time people would allow others to live their lives. Sistas keep your head up and keep reaching for the stars.

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    • Ruth116 says:
      Posted: 06 May

      A certain poster wrote that he dated WW's and other non-BW, but will only have a committed relationship and/or marriage with a BW. Reading between the lines, what's he saying is that the non-BW were good enough to hook-up with, but not to be his wife. In other words, he used them; as a side, I excoriated a WM member here at IDC who was looking to do the same with BW and told him that I didn't want to have anything to do with him. Yet, the BM poster has the absolute gall to be "offended" when he reads about us BW being attracted to WM. He's supposedly in a relationship, so what's it to him about whom we prefer? Be vigilant, girlfriends!

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  6.   Member says:
    Posted: 10 Jun 08

    Im going to be moving back to NY I want to know what is the best place to hang out if i want to meet a middle age white man . Proffesional tall, and who love kids because i have 2. thank you

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  7.   DallasW says:
    Posted: 06 Jun 08

    as a black female, white men always seemed more appealing than the black guys. and apparently I act 'too white.'' whats that supposed to mean? just because I dont talk like Ive never had an education. My sister has a child by a white man and she is 3 and he takes good care of her, my brother married an australian woman so allmy life interracial couples were there and i think its a good thing toi.

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  8.   jacbl2 says:
    Posted: 05 Jun 08

    Wow as I read all the comments above, it makes me appreciate my love for people in general. I am a black woman that literally love all men regardless of their race and if the one I happen to fall in love with is not black, then so be it. It really has nothing to do with the skin color but the connection for me. To be in love is the greatest gift a man or a woman can receive and I would not let the color of one's skin stop me from receiving my gift. If you think about it, when someone hands you a gift, the outside package is not usually the main focus of you accepting it. (Well of course, if it is a barf bag, I would have an issue) lol Life is too short, live your life and love who you love.

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  9.   Tampa_Chris says:
    Posted: 02 Jun 08

    I am an Italian man who has dated all different races. It's all based on experience and i'm open to all women but i prefer and date primarily black women. In my opinion there is nothing finer than a strong black woman. Beauty, intelligence, ambition. A sense of strength that i am attracted to based on my own adversities. I grew up with a black sister and a white sister and have been a civil rights activist for 8 years. I have met all women and nomatter the race I have respect for all of you ladies out there. Especially all the ladies here of all race and culture that are strong enough to take a stand and date outside your race to see the true good in people and not just their color. Keep doin ya'll thing and God Bless Chris

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  10.   cocobaker813 says:
    Posted: 01 Jun 08

    Andre's comment made me wonder if he didn't read my earlier post or the posts of quite a few of the ladies on here. I specifically stated "I date men who treat me with respect and is his own person" At this point in my life, it's happened to be men who aren't African-American(or Afro Latino, European, Asian, or African). I haven't met any men of African decent from Australia yet, I'd really love to, though. I have absolutely no problem with my self image, I am a proud African-American woman. I wish more black men would approach me, but they haven't. The black men I have approached prefer not to talk to me, or I haven't found him yet. While I do, why is it I have to "wait on him", as a few have suggested? Just like Swtgurl190 so eloquently put it(I beat you, I'm 38!)a black man has no problem seeing a woman of any color and it's no big thing for him or his friends. It's WWIII if a African-American woman dares to step outside the race and not limit herself to such a small pool of potential suitors to find happiness and a possible mate. The strength and assertiveness my fellow sistas have had to maintain is both an asset and a liability in our own communities to some of the men! I've sat and watched an African-American man on a nationally syndicated talk show dog black women for wearing weaves/wigs, brightly colored clothes, and colored contacts, while praising Causasian women on their long hair, light eye color and fashion sense, as if white women don't wear wigs and weaves, colored contact lenses and the season's trend of bright colors. I agree that there are some who go outside the race for reasons that aren't quite legit(more money, more respect, etc)but not every woman who dates nonblack has a self esteem issue.

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  11.   kyleth says:
    Posted: 01 Jun 08

    Apart from racism inherent in our (and every other) society, I find the differences between me and any other races/ethnicities are limited to culture. I feel that the greatest differences between people have to deal with socioeconomic class. I admit that I've dated white men exclusively, and I'm not ashamed. I'm not attracted to black men and I can't tell you why. There are no stereotypical bad qualities I can spout, because I don't believe any of it. Even if I were attracted to black men, they don't approach me anyway. No skin of my nose.

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  12.   Conanld says:
    Posted: 30 May 08

    Reena - hugs & kisses! Actually, I did have one IR relationship prior to my marriage. At that particular time in my life I was too immature to stand up against my family who threatened to disown me if I did not break it off. Today, I am absolutely certain that they would feel differently about me having an IR relationship, because things have and are continuing to change.

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  13.   Tatiana says:
    Posted: 29 May 08

    i find it a bit strange to "only" date white men, that is a bit extreme, lets face it there are differences between whites and blacks, there is disparity, i have dated white men before, but i wouldnt do it exclusively, there's something else at the bottom of that.

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  14.   Reena says:
    Posted: 29 May 08

    To the conanld, I just want to say I adore you! That is awesome! Such a shame you could not have experienced the joy an IR (interracial relationship) can bring. Relationships can be difficult at times, but when you go into one with someone of a diffrent race you have to be that much more willing and open. The mere fact that you appreciated a black women's beauty and considered a relationship with one is awesome enough! Maybe in the next life you can find another deep dark chocolate to love!!

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  15.   conanld says:
    Posted: 29 May 08

    One of my most fond memories was sitting at a table in the office cafeteria with about 10 beautiful black women. I had become friends with one of them, and so when I saw her sitting there alone at the table I joined her. Soon all of her black girl friends showed up and sat at that same table with us. I was the only guy at the table, and not only that, I was a white guy with very white skin, but with an exceptional build (so I have been told). This happened about 18 years ago, so it was not a common sight to see back then. I felt like a celebrity! Here were all these absolutely drop dead gorgeous black women, all of whom individually I though were more attractive than any of the their white female co-workers in the entire building. I was the center of attention at the table. It was wonderful. The most attractive of them all, was a deep black beauty, who paid particular attention to me. Unfortunately for me, I was already married at the time, otherwise I am absolutely sure that we would have dated, and had a relationship. I probably would have fallen in love with her in a New York second.

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  16.   tj says:
    Posted: 27 May 08

    Stereotypes. When Black men say that Black women don't want them because theyy don't dress in hip hop atire, they are sterotyping. "BLACK WOMEN" that is a large group of women, which include Beyonce, Oprah, Whitney Houston, Halle Berry, Tanisha, Kameka, and every other woman of African descent. And when you say BLACK MEN, you are speaking of alot of men of African descent who don't wear hip hop clothes. That attire for the most part isuse is generational. And that excuse, for the most part is lame, stereotypical, and covers the real truth. It is also insulting to white women. Because why would a white woman want you either if you have all these stereotypical problems. Furthermore, the excuse about Black women don't want you because you are educated and not loud. Are you an idiot? African American women graduate college twice the rate of Black women, so the problem is reverse. And Black women still practice endogamy more than Black men. Just like you aren't loud and 'ghetto', the MAJORITY of Black women aren't either. You shouldn't ascribe to these stereotypes. Attitudes-another stereotype. it's funny how people perpetuate these things about their own people when what that says is something even more about you. Furthermore, Black men are not exempt from their fair share of statistical problems. To say that Black women, or even some are petty, materialistic, and selfish is so off base, it is ignorant. Those things can be attributed to anyone, in any circumstance. Lastly, white women are the penacle of beauty in America mostly following the Eurocentric paradigm. Black men-THIS is why you outmarry. Socialization economically, and educationally has nothing to do with it because you can check any statistic and Black women on average are climbing the social latter much faster than Black men. Date who oyou like (when you find out who you are otherwise you become apart of self-hatred which is the problem and not the solution).

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  17.   Swtgurl190 says:
    Posted: 27 May 08

    Oh and for the record, I've never cared who people date, black, white, asian, gay or lesbian. People should feel free to love anyone that makes them happy and a perfect world would be if people could just get over it!

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  18.   Swtgurl190 says:
    Posted: 27 May 08

    I completely disagree wih Andre, no doule standard here. I'm a black woman (maybe a little older than most here, 37) but when I first joined the Navy year 1990 we were pretty segregated onboard ship as far as who we hung out with, so being black that's who I spent my time with. Although, I grew up in NYC and I'd dated a couple of white men before. When I dated my first white guy onboard ship I received so much animosity and hatred from my "brothers" that I didn't feel comfortable being out with that relationship at all. Although, it was ok for them to sleep with every Filipino, white Australian, Asian woman, etc. in every port we pulled into! Still to this day I feel it's more accepted for black men to date outside of our race and there lies the true double standard. For many years I've dealt with the bull, having married a white man at 21yrs old. We're no longer together but it had nothing to do with race and I don't regret it because we made three beautiful kids together...:-) The thing is, sometimes it's just about attraction and what people like. It's my preference to date white men and I can still appreciate the beauty and strength of a black man too. I just happen to be turned on by white men more, that's what does it for me. It has nothing to do with status, or a horrible past experience with a black man, or being different, it's just about attraction. You can't change what you find attractive.

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  19.   andre says:
    Posted: 27 May 08

    This reaks of hypocrisy!!!! if a black man says he is not attracted to black women...everyone wants to play the "self-hatred" card and get all militant, but when it's the other way around women get a pass. Not knocking your preferences, if that's what makes you happy then more power to you...I wish you the best. I'm just pointing out a double standard.

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  20.   Babydoll says:
    Posted: 24 May 08

    I am not going to say that I don't date black men I will just say that the right one hasn't shown himselph. I have only had relationships with white men and I only have positive feedback. In my experience white men are loving, caring, open, romantic, passionate creatures who are ready willing and able to handle a strong black woman. So keep an open mind ladies

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  21.   CafeAuLait says:
    Posted: 23 May 08

    Tune into my show tonight as I will be discussing "Black Women Finding Love and Contentment Outside of Their Race." The show address is: www.blogtalkradio.com/LifeLoveAndEverythingInBetween

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  22.   riskytrezh says:
    Posted: 23 May 08

    From my childhood days i had always had this thing for white men,i think they are very cute.i love and admire them a lot,though i have not dated any but will very much love to.Not that i have anything against the black men,no,they are lovely as well.just that i dont see anything wrong a black woman dating a white man.

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  23.   HNicole77 says:
    Posted: 20 May 08

    I have a hard time accepting that I'm more attracted to white men. I think it keeps me from getting into the dating world. After reading this blog and everyone's comments, I feel a little better. I would never admit it to my friends, but I'm sure they know and see it.

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  24.   happywithme says:
    Posted: 20 May 08

    Since a little girl my attraction has been to white men. I'm 42 and that was all I saw on tv and in the media. Elvis was my first love. As I got older I of course was able to see the beauty of the individual. My son is a black man and I love black men. The truth is I notice all good looking guys and approach any without hesitation. Unfortunately I hardly ever get approached by the black men I find attractive. It's almost like they are more superficial in their desires and white men appreciate more than just my body. This is based on my personal expirience. I will say that my preference is for white or hispanic gentlemen...point blank. I don't apologize for it. I taught my son that he is beautiful and capable and all those great things. I also taught him that mine is a preference and that it is not a slight on on any man or any race. FYI he has dated women of different races and finds his preference to be black girls. I try to practise what I preach/teach my son...When you choose to stand next to someone through this life there will be trying times, it wont matter what they look like, how much money they have and so on. The only thing that will matter is the important stuff on the inside.

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  25.   sunita79 says:
    Posted: 15 May 08

    Im a Sri lanken Girl who loves white men so do all my female family members from my mum whos divorced and my 2 female cousins who married cute white guys.but i recently found out that one my male cousins also loves white guys and has always wanted a white boyfriend and he shared this with me he also told me that he wants to tell his mum but dosent know how to as he usually dosent keep secrets from her. I wanna support him as if he were a girl his mother would be quite happy about him having a white boy friend but since hes a guy he dosent know how his mum will react and i am the only person who he has told this too and i wanna tell his mom that he likes white men too but i dont know how she will react since i am a guy as he he wants her to know but dosent know how to tell her. could you offer me some advice as i would love to hear your on what to do here as he would like me to tell his mum.I dont think anyone has to explain liking white guys as many women of colour love white men that include Black, Asian, Indian and Sri lanken women and in Sri lanken and even men as my cousin only likes white guys. I dont think there is any need for a women of colour or even a man of colour to explain why they only like white men. I would like to hear from other in relationships with white men and if you can give me some advice on this topic.

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  26.   sunita79 says:
    Posted: 15 May 08

    Im a Sri lanken Girl who loves white men so do all my female family members from my mum whos divorced and my 2 female cousins who married cute white guys.but i recently found out that one my male cousins also loves white guys and has always wanted a white boyfriend and he shared this with me he also told me that he wants to tell his mum but dosent know how to as he usually dosent keep secrets from her. I wanna support him as if he were a girl his mother would be quite happy about him having a white boy friend but since hes a guy he dosent know how his mum will react and i am the only person who he has told this too and i wanna tell his mom that he likes white men too but i dont know how she will react since i am a guy as he he wants her to know but dosent know how to tell her. could you offer me some advice as i would love to hear your on what to do here as he would like me to tell his mum.I dont think anyone has to explain liking white guys as many women of colour love white men that include Black, Asian, Indian and Sri lanken women and in Sri lanken and even men as my cousin only likes white guys. I dont think there is any need for a women of colour or even a man of colour to explain why they only like white men. I would like to hear from other in relationships with white men and if you can give me some advice.

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  27.   bri♥ says:
    Posted: 14 May 08

    I have mostly dated Carribean men or African American men, a sprinkle of Hispanic, and a sprinkle of white. I am a dark skinned Latina. The past 10 years of my life has been spent mostly spent around white people, that is who I primarly have worked with and about 98% of my friends are white(which I'd like to change BTW). In those past 10 years the white people I have encountered always assume I'm black. This was not always the case, growing up in NYC I was laways pegged for being Dominican, and got called "Mami" alot by most black men and people in general. Funny as soon as you don't live(I moved from NYC at 19) in a diverse or multi cultural area your either black or white. Like no other race, culture or background exisits. What about Indian or Hindu women with equally as dark skin, that date and marry white men? What of them? Isn't that considered a inter racial relationship? What of Persian woman or womem from Brazil or Panama (like me) that have dark skin, and don't look like your typical "Mexican" or "Puerto Rican"? Even those woman should they choose; would be in what is to be belived as an inter racial relationship.Although I think it is more socially accepted for an Asian woman to date a white men then it is for black women(or other races), Asians have strong cultural and religious beliefs, what of those pairings? We are woman of color as well and we also have had, and are having inter racial relationships and marriages.There are so many diffrent variations we aren't talking about. I am currently engaged to a white man and he is truly amazing and loves and adores me and my son.He only sees me as a woman he loves, he does not see my skin tone. My son's biological father was also a white man. My son can easliy be taken as "white" mainly because of his skin tone, straight brown hair, and green eyes.How amazing is it going to be when he tells people he's half Panamanian and half Italian! Any children I have with my to-be husband will be Panamanian and Sicilian! So I'd like to hear from some other woman or people in general who are also in inter racial relationships but aren't "black" or "African American". Also I would just like to say, there is beauty in all of us. And face it some men and woman alike are just hot or good looking black white green or purple! Give credit where credit is due and love whom you want to love. The world should be a melting pot as I believe God intended it to be or else we'd all be the same damn broring shade of..... :-)

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  28.   Sista4u says:
    Posted: 15 Apr 08

    Recently, I've come to realize that we could be blocking our blessings by limiting ourselves. You never know what or who God has in store for you. Don't miss out on your blessings because the person didn't come in the skin you'd expected! Think about it. ;-)

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  29.   tman says:
    Posted: 14 Apr 08

    I have a good friend who is a very hansome white male, lots of money, education who is only turned on by black women.

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  30.   Nakhasi says:
    Posted: 01 Apr 08

    why only date white men, there are 2 many choices out there. I can't speak about exclusively dating white guys, but i sometimes date white guys, and that is just because something about him would appeal to me. in general i find white people are uptight about interracial dating, and i don't like the stress of dealing with that. even if they don't say that to y our face you have to deal with the piqures from basically their acquantainces, family etc. white women will never admit this but they are insecuare about seeing black women with white men. and so are many black people, its alot of shit to wade through personally, depending on where you live, i live in NYC and you'd think there would be loads of mixed couples, but truth in fact there arent half as many as you think, i think alot of those interracial couples are composed of asians, indians etc. with other races. i am dating a whit eguy now whom i happen to like, he is funny down to earth etc. we dont get alot of flack about that, and i am secure enough in myself to be with him, but marriage is a whole other ball game, this depends on you and how you feel, your mindsetwhat you are willing to tolerate, your views on race, culture, etc. but why would a black woman living in a predominantly white male dominated and still racist society choose only white men, i don't get that. even well intentioned black women sometimes feel "guilt" over dating white men and wonder how they are depicted. a woman that would date only white men must be really ballsy not to mention perhaps have some h angups about herself.

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  31.   Member says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 08

    There are a lot of interesting things being said on this site it is sad that black folks have come this far only to look at each other in disgust. I love black men i am married to one and could not dream in my wildest dreams of marrying a white man. there is simply too much bullshit to work thorugh and truth be told there is a lot of illusions, fantasies and myths going on when God made a black man he made a black women there is something to be said about that every culture has a man and a women of their own culture no it is not wrong to date /marry outside your race there has always been intercultural marriages in the bible but it has always been wrought with issues that they would not have to deal with if they had married within their own culture. I have cousins who divorced their 1st black hubbie and remarried a 2nd black hubbie so sista the brothas are out there its your descision just look before you leap and remember if you say you fell in love! Who tripped ya?!

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  32.   virgo66 says:
    Posted: 24 Mar 08

    Ashley, You are hilarious! I love your honesty. I've come to understand that you have to not only pray for 'feeble-minded' people but, feel sorry for them. Angry, bitter, racist(people) etc are usually unhappy, depressed, disappointed w/life in general. So, they look to 'infect' everyone else w/their misery as opposed to dealing w/their issues. You have to live your life in a manner that is respectful to you & God. You need not answer to anyone else. You love who you love, you're attracted to who you're attracted to & you connect to who you connect to. You don't owe anyone an explanation. I believe that is why society is so screwed up. Everyone is so busy trying to dictate how others should live....meanwhile, they haven't taken the time to live right themselves! I plan on visiting Texas in July & if all the men are like you there....I can't wait to get to Texas! YEEEEHAWWWWWWWWWW!

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  33.   BlkRockerbarbie says:
    Posted: 19 Mar 08

    My mom told me when I was in kindergarden I told her I had a crush.She then told me I pointed him out and he was blonde-haired,white and blue-eyed. As long as I remember I've have a perference.I don't dislike black men or any other man of color for that matter.The long and short of it is ...I like lighter skin. I love how it looks against mine.Funny enough, the white guys Ive dated dont see me as "black" ,they see me as a beautiful woman they love and respect. I don't stereotype people.I've had great experiences with white men and bad ones.Ive had great experiences with black men and bad ones,too.Heck,I've dated hispanic men and a good man is a good man.We all just have a perference. I dont think its any different than a woman wanting a heavy guy instead of a thin one or a man wanting a woman with long hair Vs. Short. You like what you like and hopefully the person you like is good to you. And the couple in the photo are Robin Thicke and Paula Patton :)

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  34.   alpha96 says:
    Posted: 11 Mar 08

    I've done mostly online dating, and when I'm looking at pix for "initial" attraction, skin color only plays as one factor into the testosterone fueled inspiration to write someone; I see eyes, lips, bone structure, body shape, and then skin as a complement to the total package. Then I dive into the profile to see if she's got some characteristics that'll work with my personality well (or rather, I look for things that definitely WON'T work). I'm glad I don't analyze skin color to the degree it's been blogged about on this site; I imagine that would dampen my emotional reaction and reason to contact her with blunt force logic. And logic doesn't have THAT much place in underlying connection. Maybe later, but not initially. Chaz

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  35.   Mzungu1967 says:
    Posted: 07 Mar 08

    Well, well, well. This is a highly interesting blog topic! And as much as I find James's initial paradigm "preference or racism" hitting the point home, I also 100% agree with CaribPrincess that the assessment of the person prevails all other "attributes". But what about the time aspect? In the beginning and on the initial dating scene, what initially attracts prevails. Later, I believe everyone gets more or less colorblind, as it is the person inside that counts. So does our attraction control where we look for love? Yes, i believe so. But does it determin love? I say No! Myself I have been a "rainbow warrior" in my early days. No matter the color - a date is a date! I did not attach any value to color back then, but hey, i was young and little did I know about myself ;-) I live in Scandinavia, and 95% of the population is pale white! Somewhat 15 years ago, i discovered, that my inner senses, my willingness to surrender, my immediate lust and my extra attention lies in COLOR. Since then, I've only dated black or colored women - african, south-asian or caribbean. And it comes with challenges, because basic cultural differences are evident, given the low procentage of black or colored women here. But I know this is me, and I embrace those differences as a part of the package. The point I aim to make is just, that you gotta know yourself and know what really works for you - and then commit to it and go for it. Color or not, it still takes a LADY to be(have) a GENTLEMAN ;-) Chris

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  36.   lisa says:
    Posted: 06 Mar 08

    i found that white men are more attraction to me than black men.and white men are more romantic .but i still date both black and white man.it the way the person treat you,so race do not matter to me.

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  37.   crystal says:
    Posted: 24 Feb 08

    omg i totally agree w/ Amira in new york no one really gives a damn. excuse the french. and my sister lives in florida and she says that the BW WM down there is hapenning more than BM WW but we are both in professional environments. so that has alot to do with it. also when i went on my first cruise this past march i noticed about three BW Wm and they were the young proffesionall type. so yep its happening more because black women are not waiting for anyone they are getting what they want out of life (happiness) regardless of the mans skin color but i cant lie. white men are soooo damn cute. and i love their uniqueness like light eyes dark hair, light eyes light hair german look, dark skin dark eyes dark hair Italian and Portugeuse look, they are too many to name i say NYC is the best place for BW and WM b/c of the mentality up here. and the amount of young professionals in general.

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  38.   amira says:
    Posted: 24 Feb 08

    i only date white men b/c thats whos in my professional/social environment im a medical nuerologist (in 2nd year residency) in NYC and see BW and WM all the time. its not big deal b/c NY is so diverse so im treated more as an attracted intelligent female than a black female...race doesnt matter that much where im at...it helps to live in/near a big diverse city

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  39.   CaribPrinces says:
    Posted: 17 Feb 08

    Hi everyone, I agree that every white man may not be the right man for you. Every black woman has her preference on the type of white man she wants, but I am here to say BE CAREFUL. I've heard lots of variety when it comes to this. Some black women like white guys who act and talk "black" (this is CERTAINLY not my type but if it's anyone elses then more power to ya. The other union is a black woman who likes a white man only becuase she believes or he does have money. The other type is the white guy who goes out with a black woman to prove some kind of political/social cause. The other type is those who want to literally rebel against their family or society. Another type is the white man who wants a black woman because he thnks she is easy to get in bed and/or cheaper than a white woman. The list goes on and on! You know what? I think there could be many reasons why a white man would choose a black woman and visa versa...I have met all kinds mentioned above so these unions exist...However, the best one is obviously one that is genuine and true and not based on superficial notions or steriotyopes of race. But I believe that you should choose the best for you. For me the only type of union between a white woman and a black man is where he treats her like a beautiful princesss and adores her more than any other woman...not ony because of her culture or color but because he doesn't only see her colour but sees her beauty within and out. ALSO, if it's important to a black woman (and it is for me) that the white man accepts my culture and if he doesn't understand things about it then is very eager to learn. We spent many years learning their culture so they should show an interest in ours as well. So sistas! What I want to say is that if you choose a white man for your partner then PLEASE BE CAREFUL in choosing the RIGHT white man. The right one is obviously the one you choose BUT get to know him inside and out about his ideas on race, your people, culture, how his friends and family are, the environment you will live in if you move in together etc...ULTIMATELY....him, his family and the society you live in should support you both as an interracial couple and what you stand for. Black women have come a long way. There is no need to be treated wrongly by any man so pick carefully and make sure he treats you chivalrously, gentlemanlike, loving, respectfully...and YES his friends and family should too. So don't go picking any white man because he's white. Take your time and find the right one. God bless!CaribPrinces

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  40.   Pookie says:
    Posted: 12 Feb 08

    Where I grew up there was a majority of Black people. It seemed like none of them in the exception of a stereotypical geek or nerd knew how to treat us as females. This didn't turn me away from black men completley but it definatlety contributed to it. I still date black men but in a smaller scale than white men. To answer the question, for me it really depended upon the things that took place when I was younger. Plus for some reason I always found them more attractive. When I used to day dream about my wedding or something along those lines there was never a black man in any of them. I guess I lost there image as far as life long commitments. I used to be disappointed with myself because I didn't want to be the type of person to not be attracted to my own race. But when I tried to pull out a white guy and put a black guy in there instead it never worked, I jut couldn't imagine. Then I came to terms that I just lost that attraction, that lust that I had for them. Which was definatley influenced by my past experiences with them.

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  41.   aaliyah says:
    Posted: 08 Feb 08

    i don't know, the whole thing is just so damn complicated. there is alot of political agenda in almost every article i reada bout the couples. like when the article said But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels. "But she says that generally, older White men and very mature on a broader level than with Black men on many levels." to me that is condescending, i know there are people who say things like that, but what about people who just happen to meet someone who happens to be white and they click. i am dating a great guy who is white and i didnt go into it thinking that he must have money or he must be a step up or he will treat me great because i am black, if anything i was wary about dating interacially , ( havent dated a white guy in years). but he is funny, smart, kind and i really vibe with him. i just feel like i found a nice person and i can make a real connection with him that may l ead to something in the future, but at the same time im like, do i really want to deal with that aspect of it, i don't honestly, i live in NYC and so its not such a shocker to see interracial couples but I still find myself wondering about all the bullshit that probablly runs through people's heads. ultimately we will decide what happens, i know i am strong enough in myself to be with who i wanna be with, and he doesnt seem to have a problem being with me at all, he treats me like a princess, and whatever color he could be, thats easy to get used to.

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  42.   paula99 says:
    Posted: 30 Jan 08

    i only date white men because i am more attracted to them . not because of status or the old myth they have money. it helps....lol. but the thing is i have more in common. men are men regardless of race really.but i get approached by them more. than black men. yes its odd but thats the way it is.

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  43.   earat8d says:
    Posted: 29 Jan 08

    The couple on the far right are former US Secretary of Defense William Cohen & BET personality Janet Langhart. Don't know who the couple in the middle is.

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  44.   Lauren says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 08

    Lauren Says: I just read an advertisement from another blogger who suggested a particular website for interracial dating (I will not name the referred to site - you can read above to see that). The post is suspect. NOTE: The poster who claims to have met her 'husband' through the referred to site is posting the 'personal success' "story" in every thread. Everyone please be careful about joining dating sites. Make note of the following when deciding to join an internet dating service: 1) Does the site appear to be reputable? 2) Are there a good selection of preferred men in your specific age range? 3) Is the internet site free? OR is it just free to JOIN but you must pay to contact someone you have an interest in or respond to a wink or email sent to you? 4) Are the photos on the website authentic? There is a large group of scam artists who look to prey on innocent men and women who join the sites looking for someone sincere. The scam artist wants to lure you with fake photos and gain your trust. Then suddenly there is an issue which your 'date' requests (either direct or indirect) for you to send money or some other form of benefit. Do not fall for this; the behavior should be reported immediately.

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  45.   topsy says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 08

    I am a black women who thing some white guys are sexy.that does not mean Idon't find guy black sexy. If I happen to fall in love with a white guy tha't fine. It's no one busness but mine.If that is the person for you good.it's your live no one else.

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  46.   Member says:
    Posted: 28 Jan 08

    I would like to take the time to thank ***blackcentury.com*** for the wonderful service they have provided. I met my husband through the site 1 year ago, we were two people of different cultures and countries. Yet, because of this great website we were brought together after finding love. Maybe you will love it.

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  47.   cocobaker813 says:
    Posted: 23 Jan 08

    I have dated men of different races and ethnicities. I wish I could say I had a "favorite" type, but I have to say it boils down to the man who treats me with respect and who is his own person. As I've grown older, I've noticed that their colors have become lighter and lighter. If Black men my age would approach me, I'd date more Black men.

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  48.   girlsixdiva says:
    Posted: 22 Jan 08

    Does anyone know the names of the two couples on the right?

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  49.   staska says:
    Posted: 20 Jan 08

    I always fantasized about white men when I read Mills and Boom novels when I was younger and I dreamt of one day meeting my white knight . I had black boyfriends and white and I can take positive and negative from both . However my preference has always been white men ....Since I turned 21 I only date white men because I am very comfortalble and relate and interact with them very easily

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  50.   techie says:
    Posted: 17 Jan 08

    interracial relationships..well..well..a man and a woman..why should I have only 50% of the possible connections between man and woman...it's the 21st century kids..and you where in school longer than your grandfather...jim

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