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White men are least attracted to Black women?

Posted by James, 18 Sep

...gender is one of the determining factors of interracial dating trends. Caucasian females are least likely to date Asian men, whilst white males in the U.S tend to be least attracted to female African American's. - 'Interracial Dating Trends' by Matt Dating 

Much as it is just a generalization, most of us do agree that there are very few White women who date Asian men. And when we try finding the reason for this, stereotypes and more stereotypes is all we dig up. But let's look into the Black women White men interracial relationships: is attraction the reason why there are relatively fewer White men dating Black women? Really?

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409 responses to "White men are least attracted to Black women?"

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  1.   jokeboy69 says:
    Posted: 19 Oct 09

    i think if you love some one it doesnt matter what race they are love is a beautiful thing i myself am vary attracted to afracan american woman and i dont care what anybody thinks about it but i do fine it hard to fine afraican ameriacn woman who are intrested in whitemen

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  2.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 19 Oct 09

    Sarena, You have to click the link that shows up at the bottom of your emails. That's what I did and it worked.

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  3.   Arcadia73 says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    @ Julius26 - Well, I would imagine there really is no right or wrong when it comes to any particular "majority". I am sure the "majority" of which you refer to probably THINKS they are right, LOL! It's more a matter of me simply opting not to be type cast in a specific role within society in any way, shape or form. My use of the term "misfit" is actually more of a reference to other people's ( mainly unenlightened Blacks)idea that something was " wrong" with me for not being and doing the things they they deemed appropriate for a person with African heritage to be and do. I NEVER thought anything was wrong with ME! I was just hurt that as open and loving and accepting as I am of all people that so many narrow-minded individuals would judge me soley on my attire, choice of music or choice of companions. I befriended those who showed a genuine interest in me and allowed me to be myself. I'll be damned if I was going to try and change the way I speak, dress or act JUST so I could continue to perpetuate a cultural sterotype so as to "belong"! I'm a rebel..always have been ..always will be. I march to the beat of my own drummer. @ Tatted2death & Tricci - You guys rock! I love your independent, playful spirits and the fact that you also refused to compromise your integrity to appease an unbalanced, judgemental "majority"!

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  4.   Violetq says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    more white guys a approach bme then black guys. I think its my body type...thats what my black guy friends told me.

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  5.   azrazyel says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    Sarena: Maybe try and email the staff.

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  6.   Sarena81 says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    OMG...I still can't unsubscribe...has anyone else tried to unsubscribe with that manage your subscriptions button?

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  7.   Fire321 says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    @triccinicci I enjoy reading your responses but you get rather lengthy with them. I can't speak for anyone else but shortening them may be a good idea.

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  8.   TricciNicci says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    Thanks Azra and Looking4, I get your points and thank you for the responses. You are both correct and I would not EXPECT either of you nor anyone else for that matter to bear the burden of the masses, even Moses had to get help with that, lol! Look I don't live in La Laland and I hear and see racists attitudes in my own people just as you get exposed to those in your own. Still, there is a vast difference between what people do in their private time and what freedoms they withhold from someone in society who's trying to feed a family, protect it, educate it and find a general sense of balance and harmony within society for not only the family unit but themselves. So when Az said those things, that is what I thought he was referring to and not private conversations. Looking4 I come from a line of very proactive people. My parents were in the Civil Rights Movement with the Rainbow Coalition, marching for civil rights for everyone, organizing in the neighborhoods we lived in. I've been to hear Farrakhan, met Rosa Parks and even did an annual tribute to Harriet Tubman, Sojourner Truth and Ms. Parks in high school. These dreams of what people talk about don't come easily. So when the work is done I don't believe in setting down as though the factory is closed. Like you said when stares come you ignore; snide remarks, you deal. I do understand. You are both right, you cannot force people to believe anything, and "white is right" for some and the some can be both Black and White. That is why I asked the questions I did and your answers are well received. Az forgive the looong response to your short statement to Ryan. I obviously love to write and come from a very disciplined writing background so hence, long and strong! I think open discourse helps us all and rather we agree or disagree it's apparent we learn each time an exchange occurs. Azrazyel I'm glad to hear you are the encouragement to your friends discouragement. I don't have any problem standing up for the beliefs of this forum as I run into those 'observations' made by people I know as well. In fact I lost one friend who was malicious about my right to choose. I am happy to say we reunited just a few years later and believe we both learned a valuable lesson in tolerance. Looking4Life, I've never attended a KKK rally as you know that's a closed society, but the affects of their channeled environment is seen effectually (My father was born in Huntsville, Alabama where chapters of the organization were active during his growing years). The exposure I have had as part of the ripple effect has always been addressed to stop the ripple using the same tactics as you. I'm encouraged the two of you seem to be able to love on your own terms. I wish more people were in our shoes.

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  9.   looking4life says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    by the way i have never been to a kkk rally and tried to educate them nor would i try has anyone else????

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  10.   looking4life says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    tricci, even when i grew up there were and still are people who spout the old mantra "if it aint white it aint right" and generally speaking comments like that i believe is what az is referring to. do i like it? definitely not!! do i support it, same answer.but its also not my job to educate the ignorant masses either. if i do get looks i ignore them and i will correct any language directed at me or near me. simply put i have the right to my decisions as long as i am willing to stand behind them like a man unashamed and deal with the consequences of my actions.

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  11.   azrazyel says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    TricciNicci: Jeesh. Why did you even write all of that? To be honest, I didn't even read all of it. Relax! It was a simple observation of what I've seen and heard of people saying before about black women. And no, we don't set around all day degrading black women or think of how many insults we can fathom. It has been brought up before with friends and & others through simple conversation. I have simply stated what I have heard, albeit I do not agree with them on their conclusions, I also know they have a right to believe what they want. This is an exception and not the rule. Not everyone I have spoken to believes this. But an overwhelming majority are ignorant.....per say "anything but black." It doesn't help when I have some racist friends, but their beliefs don't affect me. They will be them, I will be me. They know what they want, I know what I want. So I just call it at that.

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  12.   TricciNicci says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    azrazyel, Your perception may be, how shall I say, well a bit...colored. Tainted may be an even better choice. As right before the observation in your above post, you stated (and I quote), "Ryan, obviously you live in a different area than I. And you are probably in a completely different environment as well. You wouldn’t believe the things white guys say about black women around here. Everything that can be said, could be said and will be said about them well…has been said. In negativity of course." Now, I have an appreciation for your succinct interpretation of Caucasian men you interact with or are exposed to or both. Tell us here in public blogland, Monsieur Azrazyel, do you "correct" what they are saying about these women you say this group of men are so repugnantly discussing in volatile disregard? Do they do this to the women's faces, in the blatant regard of society? If so, are the women they are targeting wanting to sleep with them, cook meals for them, rear their children and help them get ahead in life? Furthermore, are the men actually spending this amount of time alluded to in your discussion response on women they vociferously detest and socially reject because they are not attracted to them? Or because they haven't the slightest inclination in their racially devided pre-CRM brain that any psychiatrist, social anthropologist and 5th grade student could tell you they suffer from a latent attraction that is perversely driven. As you cannot tell or convince me that not one of them would turn away from being sexually active with the objects of their obvious stigmatized dejection. So to round it up let's see, "I hate you by day but would rape you at night". I find this all too funny - the twisting of the word "attraction". Does attraction permit someone to denegrate someone else because they have no other use for them, but to be treated as a verbal and social toilet yet be covert enough to sexualize them? Is not there any humanity in your neighborhood and state? Do you have even one person who shows love towards these people who are stigmatized in your society? You say you are attracted to Women of Color, what say you when her sister is being humiliated by day and raped by the Author of that Rejection at night? Are you the one she can depend on to protect her good name and image? These are questions we can all think of in asking ourselves if we maybe somehow quietly benefit from this derision. Are we the people we say we are? I am not trying to insult you nor do I think you owe any duty outside of the conviction of your heart which is between you and God. I just find it humerous when I see how ignorance can easily be spread just by a boys-in-the-club attitude. You nudge homeboy with a heads up on how to 'handle' the situation and then socially nudge the young man who I might add, was talking to me (I know, I know it's a public blog. Got it, still...), with the little covert statement judging my actions, hahahaha! Ryan and I had a wonderful conversation and we are complete strangers! I see on this blog a true trend with those who cannot stand on their own merit of wanting to create clicks and social agenda groups. Hope you have fun on the playground exchanging marbles. So if you need to sharpen your social scissors, please use a peon that has agreed to be your whipping boy. My parents disciplined me in the right direction so I need no subtle hint nor directive from assanine remarks such as your "and-that's-the-way-it-is" summation, lol! That is not the way it is! Not at all. Had you read further after Looking4Life's lovely chastetisement you would have saw Ryan's response to me. "...you are right tricci, i wanted to hear YOUR OPINION, thank you for responding. i should be thinking into the future about that [CAPS MINE]." Especially since you openly admit to not having one person in your social exposure who can teach you the merits of accepting others for who they are and not what monster they've been made out to be. Of course, I commend you for beginning this journey as it seems, alone. At the same time I feel for you and hope someone with decency in those things which males pride themselves on discussing with one another in the direction of their gender attitudes and attributes, can help encourage you in a positive, mature and edifying manner. Until you find such a male, here are some FACTS you might want to check into to help widen your own path in achieving a greater tolerance for those in your area (As a way of helping others burdened with hatred for not people of color, but the women that bear and create the entire African American lineage of the human race). Since intolerance and all the rest you described occurs widely, I checked some facts that may affect how people perceive groups within racial classifications specific to your state. Apparently Cleveland is a city in which culturally African American's did not thrive successfully over longer periods of time and whose social qualifiers did not change at rates equivalent to their white counterparts. Additionally, the proportionate number of African Americans in a state of poverty is still 1 in 4 or 25%. This is radically unchanged since the 1970's according to Census tract numbers. The middle class has all but vanished and the upper class of African Americans in Cleveland are doing to well to care what latent degenerative minds in racially devisive cloaks are thinking. You wrote: "Nobody should question someone else with their intentions. I’m glad you pointed that out." I think intent is a large part of the answer as to why humans behave in the manner they do at times, good or bad. Treating someone as a non person = hence the word "nobody", is not the best use of venacular because expression and opinion are the two traits Americans pride themselves on under our Great and Beautiful Constitution. Rightly so as an intersting fact we can figure this from is the knowledge that 'intent' is 9/10th's of the Law. In other words, let's just be clear, intent, purpose, directive and direction are EXTREMELY IMPORTANT to the interaction of every action. In Cleveland it's apparent the intent of a certain cultural class wanted to prevent African American women from competing with their right to exist. I didn't learn enough about the overall impact to define the ripple effect this caused, but can see the fall out in you as a citizen impacted by that state's hatreds. I wish you well and I don't plan to stop anytime soon in speaking to whom I wish on this blog as my intent is to open and keep open the dialogue with whomever I please and vice versa. Namaste

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  13.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    Hey Ms godiva No problem about the late response just as long as you're sticking around...I'm ok...LOL. I know how things work and am just happy whenever you post. Take care Peace and rest to you Mrs. G

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  14.   azrazyel says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    looking4life said: In response to>> tricci with you preaching right to choose that last blog was a little rough, to put it mildly. rather than taking this approach it is better to support ryan in his endeavors. he knows what he likes regardless of the reason which really are nobodys business other than his.love and respect should be offered, given and accepted in any relationship. at least he was able to decide what makes him happy and not worry about his peers opinions early in life. ryan regardless of reasons or intentions good on you man go with what makes you happy . I agree wholeheartedly. I'm glad he has his personal interests and opened up about them. Nobody should question someone else with their intentions. I'm glad you pointed that out.

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  15.   azrazyel says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    Ryan said: "i completely disagree with the fact that most white men are least attracted to black women" Ryan, obviously you live in a different area than I. And you are probably in a completely different environment as well. You wouldn't believe the things white guys say about black women around here. Everything that can be said, could be said and will be said about them well...has been said. In negativity of course. My point is different areas have different tastes with different people who believe different things.

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  16.   julius26 says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    Thank you TATTEDTODEATH

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  17.   TricciNicci says:
    Posted: 18 Oct 09

    OMG Looking4. You read my childhood (minus the early divorce) like tea leaves, lol! That's the point, WE ALL BELONG! We have to find our own beauty in the meaning of this. The other point is that you attended far more schools than I and probably for different reasons, but look at the similiarities. People have more common experiences to share than not and it's good to have a place even in Cyberspace to discuss them. I think it's beautiful. Glad we're all keeping the dialogue going. Namaste

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  18.   looking4life says:
    Posted: 17 Oct 09

    wow, i never realized how many ostracized people there are i alsmost feel as though i belong...lol i may not have grown up in the projects but this is appearing to be a common thread which then makes a person like myself feel a little less alone. my parents being divorced led me to attend 13 different schools up to and including grade 7. i was always different, always new,travelled alone and was never around long enough to "fit in".

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  19.   SEWilde says:
    Posted: 17 Oct 09

    Ich, (may I refer to you as Ich?) - correction, I meant to say, "I, (comma) like you..." It reads as, "I like you," and it's not that I don't 'like' you, I meant to say that, I, 'as well as' you... It's amazing that one little comma, can change the whole meaning of 3 little words.

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  20.   SEWilde says:
    Posted: 17 Oct 09

    Ichibod, I like you, and as many others on this site have expressed, and especially when I was younger, I never fit in. Even though my upbringing was a little different than yours, I was born and raised in the projects for a majority of my life, for some reason, I just never fit in. I wanted to, but I was never accepted for being myself. My music was different, my mode of dress was different, (I go back a little further than the black boots and head banging crew - but, I was ostracized just the same)and people just wanted to beat me up because I was different, and I didn't blend in. Of course I encountered the whole, "you talk white" thing, and everything else that goes along with it. I was much more rejected by my own people, than by any other race. I have long since accepted myself as an individual, and these days, I could care less what anybody thinks about me. I do have to chuckle though, at the thought of regarding one's so-called "blackness," that you can be born and raised black all your life, and still not be, "black enough."

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  21.   TricciNicci says:
    Posted: 17 Oct 09

    Hey another blogger played it right and suggested creating a group just for misfits to continue whatever things they were attracted to as a sub group of a group that displays dysfunctional motives. I think this is the best most people can afford to do. Sorta like copying the monkey that's already copying another copy of a copy. Thank God some really fall off the edge of both societies and into a realm of originality! Sorry for me, I could care less about either "group". As I know those who go the long road are those who can create their very own and INVITE others to share in. Many wouldn't choose that option because "there's dysfunction in numbers", lol! Big groups only work when there's a mob after you, then unfortunately mob meets mob and chaos ensues (sad but true look at our corporations and their inside plundering and the eventual Fall of America over the last few years). When one is all attracting the formation of allegiances outweighs the mob mentality, they're there when you need them and democracy and peace can ensue. Now I'm not suggesting there's no fun in a good ole' fashioned rowdy battle, as even I enjoy boxing. It's just that most wouldn't want that for their normal lives as boxing's a sport. Most of us have a survivalist mentality, don't know how to get along and would agree with the lie before upsetting what degree of happiness we've been permitted false allegiance to (Let me make that clear, I said "most" not "all"). I grew up in a multicultural setting with families and neighbors happy to share in our lives. That's because my parents were stand up people. That wasn't always appreciated. My father was a man who didn't have to ask permissions to survive or believe he had to be subservient to others as he was a servant to all who needed his assistance, help and guidance. Not one of his daughters has had to experience anything but FREEDOM! All of us know how to serve, be of good report and NOT be under the superficial regard of any person! Still, eventhough my Dad reared us in this manner, we had to choose for ourselves. It was only a confirmation of those things called good that he raised us proper and we choose the benefit sometimes by default. Therefor, I count myself amongst the blessed everyday because we know who we are and don't have to rely upon "inclusion" to self obstructive limitations. I just wish everyone on this blog much success, love and happiness. I hope all of our individual (no matter the seeming dissimilarities, fragmentations or purely out of bounds...) - I just hope and pray it all goes together for the good...maybe not for the individual, but for someone who may not even be seen that is encouraged by the struggle we face in trying to understand, overcome the odds and uplift each other. Let those fighting for good always be greater than those preying on the things of good. That is my hope and prayer. For all of you, God Bless you and keep you safe.

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  22.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 17 Oct 09

    Yea, Julius. I didn't fit in either. And when I tried, it was like I was kept from doing so. I didn't have classes with the other black students except for gym classes and maybe an elective course here and there, but I mostly had gifted and honors classes and sadly there were no other blacks in those classes. I also grew up in a predominately white neighboorhood, so I had very little interaction with my black peers except for at church. And most of the time, their parents went, not them. If you don't talk like they do, don't walk like they do, or don't dress and act like they do, you won't fit in. And they made sure I knew it, and they also made sure that the whites and other students knew it, too. I don't miss being made fun of by blacks kids for not being "black" enough, and then being made fun of the white students because of the jokes they made. However the "Brothers Brothers" (from In Living Color) joke, when they found out I had an older brother, did made me laugh. Like Tats said, there isn't really a right or wrong in the majority, however many of the people who tried to ostracize me were not the brightest or well mannered students. I did good and avoided a lot of groundings and ass whoopings at home by not fitting in.

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  23.   TricciNicci says:
    Posted: 17 Oct 09

    "...i dont understand the meaning that you couldn’t fit in the black community." - julius26 Now that's an interesting perspective, that one "couldn't" fit in. Isn't that like saying those individuals or any individual, for that matter, are "unwilling" to do so? I believe if you asked that question even to a broader audience, you would understand that those who are unaccepted rarily are unaccepted by their own choice, lol! Clicks, clans and tribes are groups that metriculate perceptions intended for a "collective" mentality. If there is a question or presentation of obvious difference the collective need not think as it has an automatic response mechanism called "rejection". It is part of the human survival instinct and proportionally related to what Plato was referring to in the Allegory of the Cave. If you are familiar with the theory you might consider the discussion Plato continued with his student in speculating upon the return of the soul released from chains and drug from the cave. Inadvertently people miss their places of first beginnings, or have curiosity about their origins, thus wanting to return to the "cave", "back home", etc. This is where the second half of the allegory reveals what many, including myself, experience from their "cultural peers" and others in the "community" or collective, if you will. When one can see the culpable illusion or dis-reality for what it is, often no amount of education, edification or reality checks can get those still chained/participating/unaware/unaccepting, whatever, to adjust to where you are or permit an inclusion of your experiences in their dialogue. No matter what. The collective mentality would rather reject, deny, kill or denegrate for no other purpose than the perceived notion you have improved/elevated knowledge. This leads to a an assumptive regard you now disapprove of the group or think the group beneath you or possibly that you are superior to it. By the way, this is many groups or cultures, not all and other factors do apply. I'm sure others can explain it better and you will grasp the exactness of it from both those you asked. Plato's Allegory helped me quite a bit when I questioned these challenges many moons ago. Oh yes, one more observation on "fitting in" from the perspective you questioned concerning minority/majority ideologies. The min/maj only helps to form each individual and is not THE individual. This is why the maj/min can never BE right or wrong on the issue because both they and the individual are permitted to do as they please in regard to inclusion/exclusion...and that my dear fellow, may not always agree! Namaste

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  24.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 17 Oct 09

    It seems to me that they made it clear that they also didn't really fit in anywhere else for that matter....hence the term "misfit" (no other label really fits....lol). I'd be willing to bet they probably didn't click with many other girls either. ...It's fact that most people like when they are able to categorize things, situations and OTHER PEOPLE. It's basic human nature. Even the best of us tend to do it. So when we come across people that don't "fit in" with what we may think they are we are thrown for a loop. Nothing has to be deemed right or wrong here. It's just refreshing when you come across someone that "thinks outside the box". I would have been just as happy if those two ladies were white or Asian. Alot of people can relate to not "fitting in" whatever community they happen to come from because the environment you grow up in does not necessarily define who you are as a human being. No one can tell you how to be you and what makes you happy.....PERIOD. Besides, Arcadia already stated she got the distinct impression that Black guys thought she was a freak....I think that more than qualifies as "not fitting in".....but I'll let her answer that for herself. BTW.....how have you been, Julius???.....glad to see you out here again. Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  25.   julius26 says:
    Posted: 17 Oct 09

    Arcadia73 and Faerydust i dont understand the meaning that you couldn't fit in the black community. Is the majority right or the majority wrong.

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  26.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 17 Oct 09

    Hey ya, Godiva-dear..... I am still here.....just enjoying my "quiet-corner" for a change.....and enjoying the fresh responses from the newcomers; they are most welcomed here. Me thinks Ashley is more than likely enjoying married life....if you get my drift...LOL. to Arcadia and faerydust.....you just don't know how happy I get every time I hear from a fellow "misfit".....we ought form a club or something; where we can wear our combat boots, listen to our metal and headbang with "thumbs tucked" (m/) to our hearts content....LOL.

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  27.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 09

    bigeyes31 Ms. Natalie, now it's my turn to apologize to you for the "johnny come lately" response. I do thank you for saying "hello" to me on the 14th. You are so sweet and I did miss seeing you! I assumed that you were busy, busy with life, or perhaps you had won the lottery, and fled to the French Riviera(smile). I do hope and pray that one day you will be able to at least visit Europe. However it is much more enriching when you can live in a country for a while, to truly absorb the culture versus just vactioning there. Anyway, here's to you and all the happiness, and the love that you deserve and is destined for your life! Gotta run, back to being a ping pong ball(lol). love godiva Tatted, and Ashley where are you my dear friends??? Miss you both!!!!!!!

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  28.   faerydust says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 09

    Ichibod, thank you : ) It's been fun posting on this blog. Didn't expect the "sexy/smart" comment, but I definitely like it! I'll be back for more as soon as I can pull my head out a my text books. Arcadia73 - Seems as though we both had similar experiences growing up, "not fitting in to the black community." Maybe that's why I'm attracted to white men. I never felt understood by my peers. But when I moved to a predominately white suburb, I was accepted without question. I totally get you Arc!

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  29.   faerydust says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 09

    Awe, Ryan's just a young boy. He's not sure why he likes black women, let alone why he consider's them "projects." You probably are attracted to women who are insecure, despite an air of confidence, which is really a defense mechanism formed to keep them from getting hurt. By dating "projects" you're able to avoid real intimacy. Try dating someone more on your level. You might be pleasantly surprised. Leave the "projects" to heal themselves. But again, you're young, so enjoy life. You only live once. But be respectful.

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  30.   TricciNicci says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 09

    Looking4Life, That's why I needed to clarify at close of my statement as my perceived "preachiness" was certainly not my intent. I saw it more as edification. Sincerest apologies, just young man/older woman wisdoms I hope. How have you been? You were missed. Good to see you though.

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  31.   TricciNicci says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 09

    Ryan, You are a beautiful child and a special heart just because you have the power of choice and love. All of us have to come into a "reality" even if we must create it ourselves. That in NO WAY means CHANGING the CORE of our HEARTS. Remember what I said, if you like a girl from a place others find difficult to integrate into their worlds, you stand up for her because YOU know her heart. I have a friend, who smokes/smoked weed. I told this friend the truth. Is it called puffing without inhaling? Dunno, wasn't there. My friend grown enough to choose? Absolutely! Should my friend consider to have a job and want to keep it? You see the logic? The choice of opportunity doesn't change the mind set, it does change what one permits one's options to be. Now will my friend be the first to VOTE for medical marijauna, lol! I leave you to ponder, lol. Create YOUR WORLD, make your moves and remember your heart. We are not robots but humans. We can have a job, cut our hair, put on a suit and still love the earthiness of sounds and colors, the voices and hands that shape us. Even in the hidden place. You love your girl, whoever she is. Be a man and T-E-A-C-H her by example because every good woman's heart leans towards favor of her man! She will do whatever you ask, just have the confidence (and I know you are building this daily in your self expression [Love the hair!], your studies [To the future and tomorrow!] and that beautiful smile [Only you know and to whom you choose to reveal]) to love her with respect! I have three sisters and a step brother who majored in your field of study. One has been an analyst for many years, another is an administrator and one is a business environments specialist. Originally I choose CIS, but selected Marketing and Communications instead. That of course, was many years ago, lol! You'll find your way Ryan, lovely people always do. Enjoy!

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  32.   RYAN says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 09

    you are right tricci, i wanted to hear your opinion, thank you for responding. i should be thinking into the future about that. i was thinking i would try to incorporate both a professional life with a not so professional one, and if it doesnt work, then i will have to make changes to better myself (like changing my appearance and quitting weed) when i move ahead in life and my career. im majoring in computer science.

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  33.   thekid47 says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 09

    I don't know what topics like this for the interracial community truth to tell. There was a recent incident in Louisiana, here is the posting, of someone who refused to marry interracial couples, this more than 40 years after Loving vs. Virginia. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20091015/ap_on_re_us/us_interracial_rebuff I have seen white men with black women-my Cousin in law, who married my 1st cousin, is from Southie in Boston, rejected by his family for so doing. He is part of our family. Same the other way--this topic doesn't help, remember, where it is okay to color outside the line. Peace to all. Respects..

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  34.   looking4life says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 09

    tricci with you preaching right to choose that last blog was a little rough, to put it mildly. rather than taking this approach it is better to support ryan in his endeavors. he knows what he likes regardless of the reason which really are nobodys business other than his.love and respect should be offered, given and accepted in any relationship. at least he was able to decide what makes him happy and not worry about his peers opinions early in life. ryan regardless of reasons or intentions good on you man go with what makes you happy .

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  35.   TricciNicci says:
    Posted: 16 Oct 09

    And by handful I mean according to this blog. You know there is a saying that goes something along the lines that a man never gets over his first true love. Possibly yours was a Round the Way type of Chick, dunno. Just speaking on what makes you soooo attracted to a Hoodie. Maybe you don't want to work that hard for what you feel comes easily. Maybe it comes so easily there's no need to work as that is your reward. Again, dunno. It is whatever YOU say. Are you going to be in the number of white guys that like to enjoy the enticements of who you like, but wear a different face of survival? What will you do once you graduate university and merge into a world not so accepting of the corporate office presentation by a white man in French braids/cornrows? I'm older than you and these are questions for the future. Probably not much you have need to consider. Sure you are just funnin' it now because that's what you like, but for fun candy or is it the meal you will work hard for? Bootylicious or wedding traditions? You will do what you please, but I hope the attraction you have that begin to turn your head turns your heart...into a peaceful, abiding LOVE and RESPECT for whomever you choose (Black or White). And I mean that for every woman you meet, not just the sister that is my. They have beautiful hearts in the ghetto too so always be kind to yourself and pick the best for you. Hope I haven't over preached you and thanks for sharing honestly.

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  36.   RYAN says:
    Posted: 15 Oct 09

    i cant speak for my whole race or gender, i only represent myself. physically, brown skin looks better. emotionally, i like the swagger, attitude and confidence of black women. im in college and i like educated women, but for some reason, im more attracted to the project ones. and the fact that i never had sex with a white woman probably has a lot to do with the way that i feel.

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  37.   TricciNicci says:
    Posted: 15 Oct 09

    So Ryan, what is your point? Why/why not do you support your statement? It sounds like you are one of a handful of Caucasian men who prefer Women of Color...true/not true, why?

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  38.   RYAN says:
    Posted: 15 Oct 09

    i completely disagree with the fact that most white men are least attracted to black women

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  39.   TricciNicci says:
    Posted: 15 Oct 09

    H E Double Hockey Sticks Yeah! Been there done that Arcadia and t'aint neva goin' back! It was "WHITE Girl!" in the AA community and the red cheeked, blushed confession of, "you're so diiiiiiferent from the others", as though I came from a bunch of monkeys and the Caucasian telling me this simply discovered one "that could talk" (Wow, what a marvel). What I found worked best for me was to educate BOTH! The person(s) within the realm of what I was told was the "Black" community needed to be educated. The fact that is "Black" (even as a community) is not owned specifically by ANYONE and can only be represented by a degree of inclusion. Since I did not EXclude myself from the group or association, that, in and of itself, was INclusion ENOUGH for me: i.e., I didn't need anybody defining for ME what "Black" was/was not! I, in my individuality was expression enough, alike and apart from the merit or non merit of another within that same community. Especially someone with bad grammar, poor social skills and plummeting grades, lol! I had fine examples of persons within the community that enriched my self awareness, responsibility, interaction and goal orientation as a person. Thus creating a caliber of spirit surpassing any color barrier! Since "Black" is truly a color and NOT a community I developed my sense of beingness from the standpoint of community based thoughts, ideals, accomplishments and reality, far exceeding the base of the "primary" colors children associate with in kindergarten. On behalf of Caucasians the attempt was to imply it was "ok" to accept me as though I'd passed some civility test to get into "the club". I was 'always' permissibly informed of this acceptance and 'always' took equal time to inform the individual their acceptance wasn't needed. I'd go, do, act, access and exist where I pleased and with whom I pleased. As my PARENTS assured me of my ability to do so by birthing me on AMERICAN soil, lol! Permitting the some-of-my-best-friends-are-black contingentcy no superiority over me in Caucasian settings and denying any effort to defeat purity of SPIRIT in my own community left me at altruistic balance of LOVE for myself and edification of others. You are 100% correct Arcadia not being shoved into a box someone created to stunt the growth of another is the most freeing thing! So I join you! LMAOx2!

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  40.   Arcadia73 says:
    Posted: 15 Oct 09

    @ Ichibod - You are very welcome.Lol! @ TricciNicci - I'm glad you connected to my story. It's nice to feel understood! Growing up was difficult at times due to my eclectic interests. I was often the outcast especially in the Black community. Most of them just didn't "get" me and never really bothered to try. Oh well, there loss! LMAO!

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  41.   TricciNicci says:
    Posted: 15 Oct 09

    And er, that was HUMAN, lol! Oops on the typo (is that how you spell "typo"?)

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  42.   TricciNicci says:
    Posted: 15 Oct 09

    Hey 85kguy, My computer is doing a lot better. I did look up the Microsoft 7 thingie but it's a costly upgrade I don't want to incur at this point. I've had this computer for 2 years almost and think I mentioned how much I passionately dislike Vista. The overhaul patch for the 7 Download as their answer was my biggest cue yet to switch completely to a Mac, lol! So thanks for the headsup. Really appreciate it but as I've returned back to school who needs the distraction of Microsoft when I can just have a MacAttack everyday. Arcadia73, I feel you on the self expression and am glad you were able to experience and express, well, YOU! Of course we are all conglomerations of lifestyle, wisdoms, philosophies and environments plus so much more. My younger siblings came along in the rock era of the 80's as well. Their concert choices were groups like Journey, Kiss, Boy George, Metallica, etc. as that was the expression of not only the two of them but their peers. With our background being as diverse as it was then and is now, as siblings I'm glad we didn't face the enforcement of cultural taboos at home that sometimes face children when branching out of what seems "normal" culturally. Thanks for writing your comments and sharing with readers such as myself your "everyday"-ness. All to often, those of us who do not follow the "cultural" pack are identified to the point of isolation due to intolerance. I thank my parent's almost daily when I see the benefit in my life of being who I am and what I am without borders. It is a beautiful thing to speak and be with those who share a like experience to myself. No matter the door or window I saw them in or met them through. I hope through these type blogs and sharing such as we all do here, my little window of the world has opportunity to see a person who enjoys the sound of poetic jazz, art, history and lively cafes, lol! Your statement I'm sure is helping others to see the tolerance they should have (because it is true, we are all part of the HUMAN race), helps us all. I look forward to reading more about your experiences as you were comfortable in your boots and multi colored hair just as I was with my nose in my favorite Poe or Dickinson masterpiece; in makeup on stage at theatre practice (not playing the maid but the lead blonde hair and all!); or simply on barre in ballet. I'll keep posting and learning from what others have to share. So far I haven't met that special someone, but he's out there (I sincerely think "My Guy" is of a NON-American culture since that is whom I get along with best. For me, that seems to be MY biggest hurdle as most American "White" guys love me, but I tend to think they are after sex and I'm not usually "Black" enough (whatever the heck that means) for the African descendants in American, lol to both! If a person had the dignity like Big Eyes said, they and many others could stop tripping over their own racial/color and 'hoodish barriers to see the real person. So hang in there Big Eyes you are one of the MOST beautiful women on this blog as you are sweet and real with a pure spirit!). Mostly I won't accept anything less than true love from the HUMNAN perspective. As a man is real, but color/race is just a stereotype...can't expect much from that.

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  43.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 14 Oct 09

    "...combat boots with my catholic school girl uniform..." Thank you very much for the visual, Arcadia.

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  44.   Arcadia73 says:
    Posted: 14 Oct 09

    LOL..thanks Bigeyes! Glad you enjoyed my comment. I stumbled upon this site and am quite happy to have found it! It's nice to share some interesting dialogue with like minded individuals. = )

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  45.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 14 Oct 09

    Faeydust and Arcadia73 Wow! I found myself engrossed in the little bit of "inside" information you both gave on your interracial dating experiences! I was smiling at the screen so hard,probably looking like the the "Joker", LOL. I enjoyed the perspective your friend from Germany gave about the mindset of us "Americans". Everyone else seems to have evolved to a higher level of thinking when it comes to IR's and race in general. As a black woman living in the deep south practically all my life, what he said was so very very freeing. Not that white European men are "better" than white American men but I keep getting feedback from many different directions that they somehow are above the pettinesss concerning race. For the love of GOD, can I please meet a man who is going to be past race and allow me to show him the woman that I am?! With white american men, you can't get past the defense mechanism that goes up because of the racial concerns. It's hard enough to date and then have to worry about some weak man who can't get past not being accepted. Arcadia73 LOL the combat boots and the schoolgirl uniform....priceless..I love it! I love individuality...that's what it will take to date interracially in my humble opinion. Keep rocking girl! Hello Ms godiva! I hope you are well! I've been away seems like ages and miss you guys! Ichibod and fire321 as always, glad to see your faces in the place! I didn't really know how much I miss the blog.... 85guy...good to see you too man. Peace

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  46.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 14 Oct 09

    SEWilde, Likewise! It's always a pleasure to hear from you as well! Thanks for the check, I did not mean to omit anyone, great looking out! So to MichaeIMN and dwig1989, welcome aboard and to ALL that I may have omitted, welcome, it wasn't intentional! love godiva

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  47.   SEWilde says:
    Posted: 14 Oct 09

    Miss Godiva, It is good to hear from you again. Hope all is well with you and yours. Let us not forget a hearty welcome to, MichaelMN, and dwig1989. You can't have bw/wm dialog without wm. :) Have a fantastic day! SE

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  48.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 14 Oct 09

    I almost forgot to welcome the new faces here. SimplyMe, Faeydust, budgiegirl and bealvly, a big welcome to you all! It's great to have you! love godiva

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  49.   budgiegirl says:
    Posted: 14 Oct 09

    Oh and Sweetp6969, just a note, in my personal experience, Asian men are at first incredibly withdrawn, but once you get to know them they are the most honest, communicative and cheeky men I have met :P

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  50.   budgiegirl says:
    Posted: 14 Oct 09

    Faeydust - no, you were right the first time, it is budgiegirl (as in the little birds we have everywhere over here) :) Thank you and I agree with pretty much every comment you have made - I have a lot of friends in the US, of differing nationalities and they all speak of the difficulty with cultural mixing. Perhaps becuase you do have such a huge population that everyone has the opportunity to segregate themselves that it does happen. Australia is the same land mass as the USA and we have such a tiny population comparitively and therefore make a much smaller 'world impact' as you guys, but in return, we just don't have enough people to split off into groups as easily. Don't get me wrong, we certainly have our fair share of racism, but on a smaller scale (I think). On a side note - what do they say? 83.5% of statistics are made up :P Arcadia73 - I understand where you are coming from, I am very pale white and I was a bit eccentric, especially growing up, being a stronger slightly metal music orientated girl, and I found the white guys were intimidated by me but men of other backgrounds weren't. Interesting yes? :) Sen and Ichibod - I agree, a very good friend of mine who moved from Taiwan to Australia 2 years ago commented that in Asia they don't have nearly as many social sub-cultures as we do here, and I imagine it would be even more prominent in the US. Goth, emo, bogan, jock, but then also here we have social groups of people who like a particular culture/group as a partner preference. Individuals liking other individuals purely on each compatibility seems more and more difficult to some by.

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