White men are least attracted to Black women?
...gender is one of the determining factors of interracial dating trends. Caucasian females are least likely to date Asian men, whilst white males in the U.S tend to be least attracted to female African American's. - 'Interracial Dating Trends' by Matt Dating
Much as it is just a generalization, most of us do agree that there are very few White women who date Asian men. And when we try finding the reason for this, stereotypes and more stereotypes is all we dig up. But let's look into the Black women White men interracial relationships: is attraction the reason why there are relatively fewer White men dating Black women? Really?
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409 responses to "White men are least attracted to Black women?"
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85kguy says:Posted: 05 Oct 09I am sure that marriage statistics have and will improve with each 4-year census tally from here on out for black women and white men. Dating is a different cart. However, I am sure that if a census tally was done on IR dating it will show the same upward trend between white men and black women. Matt Dating is saying that currently white men are least attracted to black women because white men married less black women in 2008. The empirical data uses white, black, and asian categories and is static as opposed to dynamic (one census stat for 2008 as opposed to using 1992, 1996, 2000, 2004, and 2008 to demonstrate an upward trend).
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 05 Oct 09
Thanks for the stats 85Kguy. Stats are stats. Most likely they are true. People get so damn upset over these it causes me to lose so much oxygen to the verge of causing a brain hemorrhage. (okay not really) Anyway, it could be a multitude of reasons here. I don’t feel like listing them because I believe we are all capable if figuring at least a few out. Maybe white men are LEAST attracted to black women. Maybe black women are LEAST attracted to white men. Maybe not. I don’t care. All I know all I need is ONE black woman, not ALL. I’ll live with that and call it a day. Peace out brothers and sisters. Btw, nice picture SanAntonioBeauty! (:
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Maximus says:Posted: 05 Oct 09
(Formerly Azrazyel) Thanks for the stats 85Kguy. Stats are stats. Most likely they are true. People get so damn upset over these it causes me to lose so much oxygen to the verge of causing a brain hemorrhage. (okay not really) Anyway, it could be a multitude of reasons here. I don't feel like listing them because I believe we are all capable if figuring at least a few out. Maybe white men are LEAST attracted to black women. Maybe black women are LEAST attracted to white men. Maybe not. I don't care. All I know all I need is ONE black woman, not ALL. I'll live with that and call it a day. Peace out brothers and sisters. Btw, nice picture SanAntonioBeauty! (:
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triccinicci says:Posted: 05 Oct 09
San Antonio BEAUTY, You are EXACTLY that - beautiful! What's makes you that is your ability to think for yourself, be self observant and self initiating. There are people who, for their self satisfaction, try to quandry fear in those who act as you do. I commend you as you are the real imperical data (LMAO)! Alive and Well and so good to see it! Remeber those bullcrap studies that were pulled to try to convince the "real" world that children in the African American community could not reach nor compete with the same "intellectual standard" as that of Caucasians? How often was it salaciously presented when African American's would try to obtain a higher degree/quality of education at institutes in the states? Were these parents and children not met with the same type of bullcrap perspective? It's just hilarious how people of color will now use that most highly valued and sought after "imperical data" bull against folks in their same genetic and cultural community. I can just see me now, running to the library to check the STATISTICS to see if it'd be relevant for me to beg and plead upon some body other than a man from my own culture to "please, please, show me 'sum tantien"! Again LMAO!!!!!!!! Thank God from my grandmother's to my own sister's, we've not had to rely upon imperical data (...as though what some twisted tweed's thoughts are have become superior to our own minds)! Nor is it necessary to bow down to womb killers who desires to decimate not only our love for ourselves, but an open and honest view of and interaction with the world. As God gave us brains and beauty so our lineage is reproducing superbly. Not one sister is barren and all live our lives as we please. To boot, from the first to the last of us, we've had to all but fend off the men FROM ALL CULTURES who pursued us. Some were right, some wrong, some wanted to play, others to stay and some wanted to settle down and get married. They were all attracted to each of us for various reasons. We are not the only Women of Color in America or on the face of the planet. So I believe the question was on ATTRACTION! James' thread said NOTHING about the qualifier having to be marraige. Women are pursued the world over, each more than likely, by a strong showing of men in pursuit of the woman. Yet every woman chooses her mate for different reasons and intentions. There's only social mores and philosophies that decry it shouldn't be done. Nothing says it cannot be. We are not rabbits and horses. Especially in our culture where sex is a hotbed of topic ranges. The broader term of "attraction" also encompasses the sex discussion. Black men (who represent a smaller demographic in America) marry no more or less (when comparing apples to apples) often than a White guy. So to say a man is attracted to or not attracted to and try to squeeze that into proof positive a certain group is more unwanted simply means your brain is made with NEANDERTHAL COMPONENTS! Oh, one last thing. One of the greatest side benefits to dating interracially has to do with the concept of an open mind. Black and White are symbols of the dual extremes, but it is truly all blends and hues inbetween that also receive benefit. I see that benefit in this as I am not afraid to talk to my Caucasian brother or eat at his restaraunt. Neither am I afraid to go to the 'hood or eat at Mrs. White's Golden Rule Cafe (a popular Phoenix, Az Soul Food cafe). I want to experience the culture, philosophy and my own personal association and lessons learned. Why hold back? If I thought like many do and dated strictly the perception of what I think my dominant genetic gene to be, I'd only stay with "Blacks" of a certain apptitude or class. Thanks to being "open minded" I will gladly interact with all people. There are commonalities in us all.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 05 Oct 09It's amazing how low some people's reading comprehensions are. Why is there a constant need to make this into something that it doesn't have to be. The question was meant to open a discussion regarding, "Do the statistics (from the 2008 census)mean that white men are least attracted to black women?" The question might be considered negative and/or more offensive if you are a white man or a black women who have been rejected by one another at some point, I suppose. However, there are black women who desire white men that are not unmarried because white men don't want them. There can be numerous reasons behind those statistics. Let's continue to discuss those many reasons, not get upset and whiny because only one superficial reason can enter some of your little pea brains. One last thing, words never needed to be spelled incorrectly to be pronounced incorrectly. There are too many adults that act like a bunch of teenaged text messengers in here (lol). Let's grow up, please. It helps to read more than just the headlines of these topics to get a full understanding of what's really going on.
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SanAntonioBeauty says:Posted: 05 Oct 09Who cares about stats, 85Kguy, we all live on the local level. In my world I rarely get compliments or looks from black men. In fact, if I attempt to strike up a benign conversation with most black men, they tend to look away, act like they didn't hear me, become nervous, then quick walk rapidly(or run) for the door. I find it extremely funny when that happens, I am no longer sadden by it. However, I get looks, compliments, and conversation initiated by white and Hispanic men, more so now than I ever did prior to 9/11. You would be surprised to hear they even ask me out. Sure some may say they only ask me out because they primarily want sex with a black woman, but doesn't most men want sex? It's up to me to handle myself is a respectful manner and not let what someone else wants dictate my behavior. So who care about stats in the macro world, in my little micro world of this bible belt state, those stats doesn't hold true.
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alltall says:Posted: 05 Oct 09Bravo 85K!...I commend your honesty regarding empirical data...your "Ugly Truth" is proof positive that ignorance will defend itself to the very death...I appreciate your statistical inference which in REALITY supported my position...Your data additionally speaks the antithesis as follows:.White Men are LEAST attractive to Black women...vis a vis your data...White women are LEAST attractive to Black men..according to your statistical marraige census data....White men are LEAST attractive to Chinese women, African women,Indian women and any other country or continent wherein Caucasians dont represent the majority. White women are LEAST attractive to Black men...etc. etc. Yawn Yawn yadda yadda...The ugly truth...I reiterate... is that this publication chose YOUR ignorance to headline this inane debate.....As if White guys are the prize!!!!...(Gimme a effin break!)...and dats da TROOF ROOF!... Love n kisses!...Your Brooklyn project kid....AllTall!
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SweetCaptain says:Posted: 05 Oct 09Thank you Serena81 for asking the most importent question as of late in this blog. And, also Fire321 for answering it. I will now find the escape hatch from this dead topic. Hopefully time will eleviate the long standing prejudices and insecrities of all races. Then us and them will just become us. Peace, Happiness and Prosperity to all.
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85kguy says:Posted: 05 Oct 09
It is a hurting topic. I can understand not wanting to face it for some (black females). Matt Dating uses the 2008 Census figures on marriage to back his claim that white men are least attracted to black females. Dating is different from marriage. The census statistics show that if you want marriage (regardless of race) you are more likely to marry someone of your own race (as of 2008). "***Black husbands: Married 310,000 white women - Married 4,190,000 black women - Married 39,700 Asian women. ***White husbands: Married 55,399,200 white women - Married 137,000 black women - Married 713,000 Asian women. ***Asian husbands: Married 193,000 white women - Married 8400 black women - Married 2,790,000 Asian women." It is so sad for black women who are putting so much energy and time into IR relations. Some call it "the ugly truth". I praise the courage of James for broadcasting this topic even though the majority of his responses seem to come from black females.
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Fire321 says:Posted: 05 Oct 09serena, do you see manage your subscriptions down by the submit comment button. if you click that, you can unsubscribe to this thread. i don't know about anyone else but this topic has gotten old. it's time to move on to something of substance.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 05 Oct 09
Sarena, I guess you can try calling one of those numbers she profusely regurgitates and ask them. That "Manage you subscriptions" link doesn't seem to work.
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Sarena81 says:Posted: 05 Oct 09Is there a way I can stop receiving the emails for this topic?? It's so dead, and that one lady is driving me nuts! thanks
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Ichibod says:Posted: 04 Oct 09
Azrazyel, It's just like in elementary school. Quit picking on the little girl before she's runs to tell the teacher. James is a blogger just like us. He finds something to question, like an article or a video, gives his opinion, and then presents it so we can give ours. She's asks questions, others give their opinions to those questions and she wants to call the feds. Someone else ask her a question and means no offense (and states that more than once), she insults him, his intelligence, his friend/mentor (by the way, he is dead), his ex-wife, family and friends, and then race baits by insinuating European men are better than American men. Her statements are sogging wet, drip and stain hypocracy. Just let it go, bro. We've both seen her type before on these threads. It's nothing new. Leave her alone now. And no, nobody's calling those numbers and probably no one is answering those numbers or returning any calls or emails. I feel totally safe and I'm not afraid of anyone here. Later, Dude!
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 04 Oct 09
Get outta here. Nobody's calling those damn numbers!
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triccinicci says:Posted: 04 Oct 09"...Some of your previous so called “Articles” seem to suggest a pitiful attempt at “Cointelpro - like” propaganda and are a subtle form of insult to intelligent, interracial couples who patronize your site hoping to avoid that common bullshit!…" _________________ Alltall I want to connect to your vibe! You and Looking4life seem to be the only ones able to see through the propoganda of this insidiousness by hitting the bullseye! As well both men and women simply answering the blog questions, including myself, are often targeted by racist using this blog to spew their viciousness. So the moderators OWE it to this community to stop luring us in and treating this blog and its participants like second class trash! That's plainly arrogant on their behalf and it says a lot about what the owners of this company, Chellaul Corporation, has set as a directive for its administration of this site and others they own. If this corporation is outsourcing their blog to writers who are just undermining the intent of this site and its users then it's obvious they need to get some new writers. Ones that can provide fair and unbiased viewpoints. If there's any imbalance, there's plenty of sociopaths like a few who FREQUENTLY visit this site, that'll be happy to create contention. That's if the blog continues these incitations and permit such trash talk for its true members (both basic and upgraded). No place is perfect and there will always be detractors, still harassment, race baiting, racial insidiousness, personal attacks and the like need to GO. 'ARREGATO' as one commentor stated, lol! So thank you for being stand up about the truth here. I hope others like Looking4life, AllTall and those who have nipped racism from rising up here will choose to not only speak up to bloggers who write this crap, but help make the moderators and company RESPONSIBLE (by becoming aware) FOR THE CONTENT selected. Some say what people truly are thinking but others "just don't want to get involved". If you change your mind or want to create opportunity for this community's continued growth, I leave with you the contact tele for Chellaul Corp. Their mailing and email address is on their 'How To' link. Toll-free Phone (USA & Canada only) Call: 1-866-484-0626 Hours: 1pm-9pm M-F PST (Excluding USA Federal Holidays) International Phone (Outside USA & Canada) Call: (+1) 866-484-0626 Hours: 1pm-9pm M-F PST (Excluding USA Federal Holidays) Enjoy Your Weekend and To Thine Own Heart Be True!
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alltall says:Posted: 04 Oct 09
Pee Yes!.....To the Editor/ Moderators....Would'nt you guys think that these generalist pseudo statitical comments you publish?.. have more relevance in more conservative, right wing publication???..., rather than an interracial dating site??..Eg.."Are Black men and Black women arch enemies?"...Gimme a break guys!..Some of your previous so called "Articles" seem to suggest a pitiful attempt at "Cointelpro - like" propaganda and are a subtle form of insult to intelligent, interracial couples who patronize your site hoping to avoid that common bullshit!...Take off your hoods and reveal yourselves...Sorry!...Jus keepin it real fellas!
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alltall says:Posted: 04 Oct 09
Hi ZuZu!....In response to everyones response about the "suggested/digested" subject matter of the aforementioned blogs(psychobabble). I heretofore and with unabashed, untainted and highly qualified, often villified but straightup, unmystified Brooklynite TROOF! Say???....Who gives a F**K? Whose zoomin whom??...Love n' Light!...Eric!..MMmmuuuaaahhh!
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 03 Oct 09
Good points, his-story. The same can be applied to white men saying I couldn't date a n!gger, they would make me look bad, they would dehumanize me. etc. I've heard those before firsthand. It's always anything but black. Am I serious? NO! Get a life. You are the type of people that causes commotion and disturbances in race relations. No more race baiting? If you want a peaceful topic, I suggest you withhold your personal hangups. And IR dating shall continue. It is beautiful, meant to be. God wants us to love one another, not build barricades which blocks us from any improvement furthermore.
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His-story says:Posted: 03 Oct 09Let's ask ourselves: What is the point to this kind of race-baiting? This is just another clump of empty BS. Fact finding about people's personal tastes, stats or studies based on connecting race or gender to personal preference are always salted (or peppered) with bias. Now if I talk to my black girlfriends about their attraction to white men I find that a whopping 98% find white men unattractive. In fact, I get a range of "ewww, white men are gross, nasty looking" to "girl, I don't see anything attractive about sleepin' with the enemy". Now, I haven't checked with my Asian male friends lately but the ones I know might tell me that they find white women repulsive to look at and impossible to relate to intellectually. So then, the truth in the story is contained in the story-teller I suppose. My point: this topic is lame. It's crutch is people who are unaware of their own bias towards others. I had hoped this was a website where those of us who see only a human race could relax and have fun. It's not the case. Wonder if the site manager can get me a refund. Race, race, always race. How about dropping out of the "race" and getting in the game of writing on subjects that matter such as saving the planet for the children. Hey, anyone for planting a tree or picking up trash on the street where you live? One love.
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julius26 says:Posted: 02 Oct 09
Why do some black women think that its so important that white men find them attractive, please get a life. As a black man i couldn't care less if the white woman found me the least attractive of all the races.I would like a woman whom found me attractive and i dont care if she black , white, oriental, latino or indian. Remember quality is in the person not in the race. But not to be negative to all you black woman out there, their are millions of white men out there and so you chances of meeting a white men who find black women attractive is pretty high. Happy hunting
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azrazyel says:Posted: 01 Oct 09
looking4life: Thank you! My feelings exactly!
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looking4life says:Posted: 01 Oct 09
well lets start by burning the stereotypes they are crap and do not reflect individuals, and neither does this topic. i dont care where they got the stats nor do i care what they are. i dont care about tradition, history or the disaproving eye. i am a man and at the end of the day the only opinion that matters is mine and the strong aggressive beautiful black woman that chooses to spend the rest of her life with me and vice versa, because thats what floats my boat.i will know when i have met the woman of my dreams because she will tell me...lol . i am tired of hearing about everything else because it is irrelevent. you may have to deal with the everything else like history but i was not part of it nor were any of you so why should it matter? i am white i have always LOVED BLACK WOMEN only the last 5-6 years have i been MAN ENOUGH to stand by my decision.
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Dire_Wolf says:Posted: 01 Oct 09
I know that there are a lot of white men that aren't attracted to black women and all I can say is they're idiot. Although, I'm not white, per se, I am a Caucasian and I find Black women to be the sexiest and most attractive of all females. I even have a preference for darker Black women. From their gorgeous smooth chocolate skin to their often voluptuous bodies to their sexy exotic eyes and full lips, Black women are sexiness manifest. Even when checking out women, I'm almost automatically drawn to darker skin. My last girlfriend was Black and sexually, she turned me on more than any other girl I'd been with.
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sexytedybear says:Posted: 01 Oct 09
Wow what happened the first couple post I read I really liked and then then the whole thing blew up if you are not opened to the whole idea of intercaial dating then move on if your looking for pitty move on gees all I want to do is find someone on this planet that can put a smile on my face so if that's you then look me up the rest of you have a good night.
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alan1972 says:Posted: 30 Sep 09Geez. Another ridiculous generalisation created to stir controversy. You just know the person who wrote this sits in front of a PC all day thinking this crap up! Well i think black women are BEAUTIFUL. I'd be very surprised if i was the only white guy who did. Maybe it has less to do with attraction and more to do with the fact that reading rubbish like this keeps people apart. Follow your heart people. Don't let others tell you how you feel.
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sweetp6969 says:Posted: 30 Sep 09Ichibod, Yes, I agree. A successful relationship has to be built on that foundation. That’s how I was raised. I obviously strayed from that in the past, but no one is perfect. We have to live and learn. I wish I could hug my parents right now! They are many miles away from me. :( By the way, congratulations on your parents upcoming anniversary. That is awsome! I wonder if I will ever experience that. 35-50 years!! Wowee!! LOL!
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Ichibod says:Posted: 30 Sep 09
SweetP, You mentioned your father was God fearing. That's the foundation missing from many relationships. My mom is a missionary. Fathers SHOULD set the standard for their daughters just as mothers should set the standard for their sons. I know I can be tough on sistas sometimes as well, but only because I love them so much and they're where I came from. Give your parents a hug for me. My folks will be celebrating 35 years in a couple of weeks. Take care!
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triccinicci says:Posted: 30 Sep 09
Edit: I typoed the word "sophomoric" a few times and thought to correct myself since it's proper use magnified the discussion between JBB and myself. I think it'd be helpful if I gave a correctly referenced definition since I noted its etymology and category of speech pertaining to use: soph·o·mor·ic (sf-môrk, -mr-), adj. 1. Of or characteristic of a sophomore. 2. Exhibiting great immaturity and lack of judgment: sophomoric behavior. sopho·mori·cal·ly adv. _________________________ The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Fourth Edition copyright ©2000 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Updated in 2009. Published by Houghton Mifflin Company. Based on the topic you cannot tell a Woman of Color she has no knowledge of herself, nor can you deem her ignorant of who is and who is not attracted to her (that being the inherent problem of that particular discussion). One can, and men of little credibility themselves often err in doing so, TRY to convince her and themselves she is not knowledgeable enough of her own experiences to speak on them with any degree of integrity. When unsure of the natural intellect of the woman, many have to fall to the agreements of other men because effort expended in conquering her intellect alone is to great. Then there are the men who cannot get the thought of a free thinking woman from beneath their skin. They are spell bond by her intellect but cannot let the knee buckle because it is completely against most male bravado and machoism. Some men have wives to return to that help them lick their wounds. Others just have a cold refrigerator to peer into and no warm arms to hold them them. I have beautiful children that smile and bring me gifts. My time is spent desiring good for the world and hopefully doing good in it. My house is clean and my books are open. So if I am to be rediculed for thinking please, please be on point.
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sweetp6969 says:Posted: 30 Sep 09
Good Evening, Ichibod- I appreciate your comments and I'm glad you had a good day.:) I understand what you've said, and looking back, I think I'm too tough on the brothers sometimes. I wouldn’t want anyone to judge me that way, so I know in my heart it's not fair to put every black man I come across, in that bracket. I wanted to address your question about Asian and Latino men. I have close relationships with Latino men, and I know how a majority of them treat their girlfriends/wives, so it’s an unbalanced feeling for me. Some of them are so wonderful, and some aren’t. As for Asian men, I don’t know enough about them. They are a mystery to me. I don’t even work with any of them. Strange, I’m just realizing that??? You said, “Also, looking at black men as an institution rather than each as individuals is a problem. No offense, but where is/was your dad and what kind of man is/was he?” I really agree with you on that statement, and that is how I’ve lived my life for as long as I can remember, but something shifted when I got older, and I’m surprised that it has. I can’t explain why, it’s just how I feel. It doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t give a black man a chance; it just may take a longer time for him to break that wall. My father is a beautiful, loving, God fearing man. He was a hard worker, and always provided for his family. My parents are still together. They just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary this year. He still looks at my mother like he’s seeing her for the first time. AWEEE I love it! I guess for me, because my father showed my how a true man should be, I’m just disappointed in the black men that I’ve had in my life. I guess I set such a high standard for them, because I came from a home where love with stood all kinds of storms, but they still stuck together.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 30 Sep 09
sweetp6969, I was born and grew up in a military environment, where all races where present. I didn't really grow up with and experience racial prejudice. At least, it was not apparent to me. I often look back on certain situations now that I'm older and question whether or not there was prejudice involved. Sometimes I can say most definitely there was, and sometimes it's inconclusive seeing as though either the parties involved I will probably never see again for the rest of my life or my upbringing led me to deal with the various issues... well... however I may have handled them. Hey, what doesn't kill us makes us stronger, you learn from your mistakes, and so on and so forth. Now, do I believe you are wrong for feeling that white men may be better in relationships than black men? Well, many people here already know how I feel about that and how I normally react to a comment like that, but I'm feeling really good right now. I just got off of work, took a shower, drank some fruit punch, and the weather has been fantastic this week so far. Your growing scope of attraction is, I guess, normal. I'd would like to know your feelings on Asian men or latino men. Considering you grew up around different races, as did I, my attraction started when the whole "cootie" scare of the 80's died down. Remember cooties? Kids are so dumb. Ha! Anyway, black men are no more adulterous than any other men. You may have had bad relationships with black men in the past. I'm willing to bet the first white man to give you the impression that they might be better, you probably didn't find him where you found your past black boyfriends. That's one of the keys right there. Also, looking at black men as an institution rather than each as individuals is a problem. No offense, but where is/was your dad and what kind of man is/was he? A relationship can only be about sex if you let it. A person shouldn't let past experiences make their choices and decisions. We learn from past experiences and then choose or decide by what we now understand what's best, or at least better. You need to understand why your attraction for other races has grown. Has the company you keep or your overall environment changed? This can also have an impact. Someone can wear cubic zirconiums, eat unhealthy foods, live as a recluse, or hate people. But when they get a taste of diamonds, eat right and excercise, get out of the house more, or learn to how love, then they may find it hard to go back to where they used to be in life. It's usually the same when you get away from the poeple you've always been accustomed to. You made the statement: "As long as you treat me with respect and you could be my friend first, all else would fall into place." That's all that needs to be said. Now go find you a good man, girl! Oh, oh, I found another definition for sophomoric. "conceited and overconfident of knowledge but poorly informed and immature" That's what I always understood it to be. So yes, Johnny, your comment WAS on point.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 29 Sep 09
Well Tats, we can see at least ONE fit the build. I think I'm going to hang around just a wee bit longer. Ria, on Afro-Romance, has some decent topics. I might check those out sometime.
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triccinicci says:Posted: 29 Sep 09
Let me readjust my sites. I did not come on this blog to begin attrocity based dialoges with anyone. I stand by exactly what I wrote and you can allow your wife to believe she is the target for your ignorant presentation of reality if you want. I hold nothing in that as that is your world, your reality. Rather you are black or white, yellow or green I have no respect for those who try to undermine another's right to peace and enjoyment. That is the American way. So take your sophmoric conclusions elsewhere or at least a few posts down to those who might appreciate such rambling indistinguishable commentaries. Now to let you see yourself in the mirror instead of me, take closer observation of what you are implying. You should be able to handle that being you hold degree in everything except that tool which might help you convey the knowledge you hold: Sophmoric - its etymology being from the Greek of two bases, 'sophos' (wise) and 'moros' (the equivalent of Latin's 'idiot', as exemplified in the Greek, moron) - You are correct in stating it is an oxymoron, phrases containing words which are directly contrasting antonyms of each other like 'deafening silence'. Sophomoric IS a singular word oxymoron, but it IS NOT a word you apply to a woman that has been rooted in culture and entrenched in the dynamics of her heritage for as long as I've been on the face of this planet. Take a look at the topic, it was based in an observational statement, right or wrong, about Women of Color/Black women. Period. So you are waaaaaaaaaay off base in accusing any woman here of "sophomoric" ANYTHING! Especially me, lol! I don't have to be clear on a damned thing as I carry my clarity around with me daily. I can express that clarity to any value of perception I like, even to the gray. Furthermore, you were quite vague in whatever you perceived I should have been more clear about. I spoke on a number of issues pertaining to this site with one dedicated to my perception on the exact thread because I personally think it ludicrous. What I did have to say about it, was VERY clear. How could you miss it? Still since it's apparent you did, let me quote it. "Mmmm, I’ve dated my fair share of the rainbow and know that it is what a person desires that is the end result of flavor experienced, lol!...We enjoyed a very beautiful experience and might have gone on to other levels but for our own choices that the world, genetics or historical perspectives cannot be faulted for...There’s no genetic predisposition unless that’s the face you use to acquire what you desire…It is as YOU WILL to have it!" Since I saw the argument presented was unfairly balanced, it provoked me to speak up and challenge a demeanor I felt was presented on the site that should be admonished. If I admonish the designers of this site to produce better, more fairly balanced issues, I would not do so ignorantly. So I reached into its community for feedback and a sounding board. I was correct. Several people mentioned and I have since found prior postings, with the same observational tones. Had I known how to reach the webmaster, I'd have forwarded an inquiry by now, but no such luck. I happen to really enjoy the site. There wasn't really much to inquire after except if a set of basic standards of interface (that still upholds the First Amendment) could be institued. Those who post want to share their voice. Even if we disagree. You and I disagreed and we diplomatically presented our arguments on the issues the topic represents (the reason for better topics). I don't want topics to openly cause a placation of issues already brimming beneath the surface. With the exception of maybe an area of literature (like an online book club maybe), the site is quite fun, intertaining, polarizing. I like it and find no discord. Argument yes, but not to the point I am disenchanted. Yes, I can be sharp tongued, humorous or straight. I make no apologies, just as you make no apologies for your writing style...and you shouldn't. It belongs to you. What we all can do is offer a better You and I. Me included. I enjoy the exchange with you. I enjoyed hearing about your very unusual arrangement with your wife. Maybe you are here for just a reprieve, maybe more or even less. Who really cares. It's just that while you here make no assumptions about who you "think" you are meeting. That would be my advice as some roses have thorns. Lastly, I do not have any reason to like or not like you as I don't know you. One tiny discord based on a wrong assumption is not meritable to place a long lasting celebration or disdain for another. Peace.
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tatted2death says:Posted: 29 Sep 09oh wow.....that is really all I can say to this entire effed-up topic. But at the same time I saw it coming. When you all are through "examining" this crap....let me know Peace and Blessings tatted2death P.S. ICH.....I think your theory didn't really pass muster...but there WAS alot of "hot air" flowing in here.....LOL.
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 29 Sep 09
I have to side with Ich and Johnny. Ignorance at it's best! I didn't want to get involved, but I felt I must to give an outside opinion of who is 'sane' and the 'one' that appears insane.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 29 Sep 09
It appears by the way she writes, she thinks she's better than everyone else. She uses her high education to overcompensate for her low self-esteem and past failed relationships. Sadity is what they call it. So she attacks you and uses negative verbiage after beseeching another blogger not to do so and even threatened to have their comments removed from the site. I've said it before and I'll say it again, knowledge without wisdom is foolishness. Johnny, I must say you're a bad boy. Nice retort!
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JohnnyBadBoy says:Posted: 28 Sep 09
A short reply: Sophomoric does not mean taught by morons, it is simply an oxymoron. My style of writing is an accepted literary style. I do not believe that I would have been to speak or recite poetry at so many colleges and universities if I was as lame as you seek to portray me. As for Kwame and I, one learns to laugh at the notions of racial purity espoused by so many,but, it really is tragic. As for things being "quelled" into my ear, that is an interesting usage. Are you saying they crushed my mind, murdered it, subjugated it, or reduced it to quiet? I admit to using odd grammatical structures, but, as they have been published in English, Arabic,and Malay, that I know and permitted, it would seem that the editors of those literary journals,both here and abroad, did not share your abhorrence for my writing style. I would certainly agree that not all people like it. On occasion, I also destroy my own work. As for the 'mating', what would you call it? After all, a significant portion of births in the world occur outside of the bonds of matrimony. The 'All African Peoples Revolutionary Party"(A.A.P.R.P.) disapproved of the friendship between Kwame and myself as well,so you certainly are not alone. We shared another opinion that you might not approve of;that functionally, the party,and racial separatism is a policy of and is being run by the F.B.I., or at perhaps(one can hope)it is down to rogue elements of it.At any rate, you are certainly entitled to your opinions. Funny thing that you should mention my going back to school, as I would like to do a few credits at the University of Iowa in their writing program, a few more in metallurgy,(somewhere else) as well as a bit of geology. Sometimes I am even tempted to resurrect the work I was doing in the application of interlocking fractile matrixes in the field of historical demographics. The problem is, there is a way that the military could and would use the equations to commit more genocides and continue what appears to be an accepted practice of ethnic cleansing, which ironically enough, was what I was using my equation to uncover. What you said about my relatives was just plain rude by any standard. We raised two beautiful children who really care about the world, and as for my wife and I, our separation is rather unorthodox, as we are still best friends, live in the same house, and her father and I got along quite well, until his recent passing, after I played the correct cultural cards; honor and face are much more important over there than here, and had I not acted as I did, he could have lost face, i.e., "mungkin kalau saya buat tidak betul, diapunya air muka boleh jatuh kalau Abang buat salah." As for the rest of the remarks you made, especially about my wife, rudeness speaks for itself. "Tapi cukuk, poh!" Except for the fact that, since we never formally divorced, does twenty-five years together satisfy your mores about lengths of relationships? I spoke only of the difficulties of international marriages, precisely the reason my Abah was so cautious about my marrying into his family. Perhaps next time you might consider taking things at face value,rather than injecting any more of your copious venom in the direction of my wife. She is a strong woman,has a couple of Masters, and quite frankly, you insulted her with what you said. Enough of that, you are right, I took no grammar or writing classes while I was in school, which certainly accounts for my weakness in foreign tongues. As for 'deciphering your feelings', it would seem you don't much care for me. It would also seem that you believe that my relationship with Kwame(I only used the name Stokely because it is my experience that most people don't know who you are talking about if he is called Kwame Toure. He did not like to be call Stokely.)was one of an acolyte. It appears by the way you write, that you believe us incapable of friendship. I will not argue something that seems to be faith based for you. Again, my apologies if I mis-read you, but, with all of the taunts and insults I receive from you, I gather that somewhere I have touched a raw nerve. Let me be more direct. I sat with Phillip Deer, Leonard Peltier, Dudley Thompson,and Louis Dupree among others. It was an honor to do so. Although Kwame certainly had age on me, we were simply friends. There is a very big difference. I don't think that merits hatred or attacks, although since this is a site seemingly dedicated to racial mixing, I would suppose any dialogue is better that none. What if I told you that Kwame found the sheet of typing paper, and anyone's hand used to attempt to match its color, a good joke too. I heard it from an Iranian who told me a Punjabi did it to a professor in an international relations class. Finally, I am not, nor do I have any wish to 'study' you. I was hoping for a less vitriolic dialogue, but, perhaps this is better. As for JohnnyBadBoy, it was an affectionate nickname. The figuring out, is something I try to do with most anyone. Perhaps I should have said "that I was having some difficulty understanding the basis for what you were writing." I am unable to compel dialogue, and frankly it really bothers me that people are so willing to embrace racial division. Perhaps as DNA tests become less expensive, all will learn a bit more about who they actually are. Please note, I said ALL. What bothers me the most is the crux of my last statement that you failed to address, that we are all shades of brown, when all is in the flame. We seem to know nothing about the Roman Policy of 'divide et impera', the very basis of modern racialist thought,and one of the reasons that Latin and Greek were once mandatory subjects in British Public Schools. Walk in Peace.
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triccinicci says:Posted: 28 Sep 09
No Johnnybadboy, the statements are not sophomoric. Not at all. I just wasn't raised by morons. The reason you in particular can't understand them is because you are too busy believing the bs your friends quelled into your ear during, what you say were, your college years. Funny, your grammar, ability to follow simple sentence structure and the rest, attest to that surely being in question. I mean anyone who claims to have set with Stockley Carmichael to the degree of wooing to destroy racial barriers in "mating" - by the way, what ice age did you say you crawled out of. I don't mean to be rude, but it was a grammatical travesty to even minimally follow your statements. My apologies, I did get off topic there. The little I could gather from your lengthy stream of conscious barb was that you were married, her family hated you (gee, wonder why [yawn]) and you departed with your tail between your legs. Oh right, that's when you said Kwame would be upset at our progress as I gather it was truly his appreciation and your wife's body you were really after. Well, great man that he was, he's dead now and you must find a live, vital reason for true enjoyment of life. Possibly heading back to college and finishing that English class might help. Now chop-chop, there's got to be a community college somewhere along the bus line. You see, I can be quite direct, but would much rather not hasten your confusion. At least where I am concerned. Advice would be to be clear on what your feelings are before trying to decipher mine. If you want learning, ASK! If pride is a factor, don't read mine if you can't keep up with the language, or write me and I'll break it down for you. Simple. Being verbally coy and subtlely obtrusive isn't very cute for a man as grown, old and wordly advantaged as you (Jury's still out on rather you are educated or not). To boot, you sat with Stokely Carmichael and yet you have issue understanding oratory in written form? You sat with him and never gained the understanding the most important love of words is equivalent to love of freedom and creation. Ever occur to you when the keyboard is tapping we are sharing our experiences. That's no small feat. So do not act politically incorrect by projecting your misunderstanding onto me as who told you that you had "to figure me out"? I am not some caged mammal you can just study and make due for your benefit with your findings! You know not one thing about me and have not been invited to. Therefor you have no basis to know what experiences, trainings or teachings give me the knowledge acquired to speak on any issue. Surely whatever I speak on it is with clarity and full conscience or I would not lead others to ignorance. So I will not remember you as Johnnybadboy, I will recall you as Johnnybadgrammar/Johnnybadlyconfused! Nevermind, JB will do. Dismissed.
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johnnybadboy says:Posted: 28 Sep 09
I have to agree with Parables, Angel,Alexandra,and sweetpea6969, to the extent that they recognize the road travels in two directions, and in my experience, both in going out with women with African Blood, the women in the majority of cases were harassed and verbally abused by African American males, called traitors to their race and more. Others were afraid to date me because of the these reasons. I am sure this is something that goes both ways, and I know it takes strong and caring people to get beyond the hatred that will be encountered. triccinicci,(113) I don't know what to make of you. At first I thought you just liked the sound of your keyboard. Several re-reads don't really clarify what you are trying to say, making me wonder if it is just sophomoric,that is really the way you think(I don't mean to offend you,) but,the lack of clarity, at least to me, says you have mixed feelings about the issue. I think opportunity is the key here. When I was at University and worked at the newspaper of the Black Student Union, I met a lot of very nice and to me, beautiful, intelligent women. I am still in touch with a number of them today. Men who I at first regarded as friends, would tell me terrible things about these women, hoping, I guess, that the image of a woman with African blood in her veins was an incorrigible whore, never to be trusted. My answers was always, "I don't care." And I don't. I need chemistry.and as I stated before, intelligence,and a certain beauty, which I don't care to define. As some people remarked, why is this such a big issue of a dating site that is supposed to facilitate crossing the imaginary lines. Over the years,I brought several of these women to meet my parents. What I found, was that it was the woman's family that was very uneasy with me, and this included women of Asian blood as well as African. So like some of the other commentators, I am somewhat offended by that question, but, still curious, on more of an academic note, as to what type of responses it would elicit. Frankly, I am saddened by much of the response. I was hoping by now, that people would see through the societal manipulation.(That would be a book) Intimidation is still a big issue for many that otherwise might become couples, and I don't mean fear. I married outside of my race, and it took about a year and a half for the father to speak to me, and I was never able to achieve a level of comfort with most of her kin. only the small children, and the elders fully took me to their hearts. Eventually separation. These days, when I ride public transport,I get many beautiful glances and smiles from women who have at least some ancestors from Africa. Yet there seems to be wall of anger erected quite obviously in many cases by the men. Stokely(Kwame Toure) and I used to talk about that,as we were both avid believers in the destruction of the racial barriers in mating.Were he alive today, I know he would be upset at our lack of progress. Perhaps more people should reflect upon what we both heatedly believed in. This is no Black, there is no White, those are political states of mind, and those whose believe in those divisions are fools in the eyes of that 2% who rule us. Human skin has only one color, but many hues and shades. The color is brown.
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sweetp6969 says:Posted: 28 Sep 09
Hello, This site is pretty interesting. I think the fact that so many people are more comfortable to talk about their feelings, and associate their pics with their comments, tells me that we have come a long way in this country. I mean, we have a black president now! This is truly amazing! I grew up in a town that was well mixed with White, Blacks, Asians, and Hispanics. I never understood people that were prejudice, because my surroundings; including my home life, never allowed me to see color. I didn’t experience racism, until I was older and living on my own. I’m attracted to all races. As long as you treat me with respect and you could be my friend first, all else would fall into place. I’ve noticed that as I gotten older (hitting my 30’s), I’ve found myself more attracted to other races, than my own. I have to be honest; I really think that White men could be more faithful in a committed relationship rather than Black men. Maybe it’s not fair to say that, but I’m saying this based on my past experience with them. I’m ready for a relationship that is not based on sex only! I need someone that I can have a decent, intelligent conversation with, and I don’t have to worry about talking about my big butt. (LOL) Am I wrong for feeling this way?
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triccinicci says:Posted: 27 Sep 09
Sarena81 "Shit I know that, and IF, I wasn’t scared of the other horrible injustices that happen in Europe I’d high tail my ass over there and get a white man who doesn’t see my skin color, because he’s color blind…UGH! But since, I am very happy with my freedom’s here…I will deal with the daily prejudices I encounter here in Chicago, and search on for my match of any ethnic background!" Maybe you should overcome your fear and do just that, move to another country. Keep reaching for new experiences. You might just find that there is not really more to fear...just a different viewpoint. Did it ever come to mind others have already done that and maybe that is not the only reality - a prejudice "free" society - that one can live and love in? I think most speak in the objective view of maintaining their American citizenship, but being open to multi-cultural idealisms. After all, America is the Melting Pot, isn't it? I grew up in Europe and would not have the hinderance of going there again as it is not brand new to me and I have no fear. I am not exploited by other's fears because my parent's were bold enough not to prevent our nurturing and experience of the real world around us, which spans as far as the eye can see. As long as you have vision you are capable of that experience if you are one to see with the eyes and not the compartmentalized perceptions of the mind. At the same time I would not have issue to relocate to say Brazil if I felt it could offer what America as a country (racial biases/differences aside) offers. Part of what America offers is my Joseph (A Suffi way of saying, "the thing that motivates me"), in part my family. Had my parent's not retired States side I'd still be there visiting here, lol! There are those who have surpassed your experiences and mine alike. Neither they, you or I should be barred in expressing at our own level of tolerance, familiarity and observation. I for one experienced what was different in terms of people, places and community so many years ago it is not a thing of awe to me any longer. Therefor it is not a point of inspiration. What does inspire me is certainly not the blonde in someone's hair or the depthful hue of many of our People of Color, but the spiritual alliances I would swoon for - no matter the race. To me, the sadness I experience is no different from the impatience you show in not tolerating other's views. Mine isn't realization that everyone across the world is on a different daily trek into our own subconscious and socioethnopolitics. It is not the fact that many people in this country have different views from the rest of the world, but aren't world educated to know this. What disappoints me is the desire to become melancholy and sedate in thinking everyone should be and experience exactly the same and like the other. Your suggestion that others are putting on because you have not been where they have been, or experienced what allows them to derive their own self examined statements is to set yourself apart while reprimanding others who are not like you. This is the point of intolerance and that is truly sad. If you are happy with the reality you have drawn for yourself, so be it. Yet, if another says "I don't see the 36DD's but the beauty of the woman", let it be. You might want to ask "HOW" that is possible since you don't have the understanding to look beyond the image displayed in the physical...maybe someday? You don't have to, but let that be you. But cutting others ability to do just that (at their observable will), to be in that place you have not yet arrived; to create a vision you cannot see, is to cut yourself off from the opening to the path that might one day, lead you there.
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Sarena81 says:Posted: 27 Sep 09
Okay...I was really excited to read the posts but now I am starting to get irritated. It was my assumption...we all know what happens when one assumes, that everyone knew the history of the US. The US was a nation birthed into racial biases and prejudices. A group of people were forced to come here. That is our history here. While I believe we have come a long way, the institution of racism still exists in the US. I know, as I am sure many other US born and breed folk, that in European nations, the racial tension and divide does not exist, Ah...I'll rephrase that...is more covert! That is because the bulk of Black folk in these places, moved there by choice! Thus, there is no white guilt. Additionally, we have to stop saying things like, We're all just humans, and I don't care about cultural differences. I am so sad for the soul that does not see the beauty in a Black woman or man's skin. Or is not fascinated in the blonde, or light brown of a Caucasian's hair. Hell, I am fascinated purely on the upbringing of my white counterparts. I do see skin color, I'd be crazy to say I didn't. Plus you would think I was lying. Saying things like I'm color blind, discounts my experience in this country, which is truly different than any white man. This is exactly like saying, I don't see penis' or We're all human, I don't see my 36DD's. That's silly, I do! It is very clear that I am a woman, and that my skin color is a different color than a white man. My hair texture is different, etc. I hoped as I always do, and I am always disappointed that these discussions will include people admitting to their biases and coming up for solutions as to how to solve them, vs. admitting that in another country things are better! Shit I know that, and IF, I wasn't scared of the other horrible injustices that happen in Europe I'd high tail my ass over there and get a white man who doesn't see my skin color, because he's color blind...UGH! But since, I am very happy with my freedom's here...I will deal with the daily prejudices I encounter here in Chicago, and search on for my match of any ethnic background! :)
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triccinicci says:Posted: 27 Sep 09
Lizisamilf, You are so correct. I prefer Europeans as I have more in common and I wasn't raised in segregation. Many people think Europeans are prejudiced. Curious on one hand, traditional on the other, but rarely prejudiced in the dating scenario. It's more the American counterpart of Caucasians that exhibit this complex. Much like many African nations resent and have complex hatred of African-Americans. The confusing part for me is being basically 'forced' to only date the racial equivalent. I go, do, talk to and experience who and what I please. It's almost assured that is the result of a fine upbringing in which my parent's encouraged personal growth on all levels. I was never told to deny anyone because of race. I certainly wasn't taught to withhold love because the person didn't look like me. Cultural difference is the least of my concern. Humans need other humans and the larger the borders are for welcoming and experiencing humanities qualities, the better preserved the entirer Race of Mankind is. That's my own personal belief anyway. Many Americanized cultures don't encourage that. I think some cultures know better and will always encourage harmony throuh incorporating love and kindness. The sharing of differences. So I think if one accepts standards that are alike, people will gravitate towards their likenesses, regardless of racial definition - Even African and Caucasian Americans towards each other.
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lizisamilf says:Posted: 27 Sep 09After reading many of the comments I must say that the only time I've ever encountered issues concerning race is when I date White American men. White men from Europe and Australia that I have encountered never really see the issue since the one thing we already have in common is the fact that we come from different walks of life. Let's face it, it is part of the allure. While some white men American men spend time griping over difference or what people may think of them, European/Australian white men embrace. Just throwing that out and stating that its not true white men in general. Everything, as life is, is viewed case by case.
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sweetp6969 says:Posted: 27 Sep 09
Hello, This site is pretty interesting. I think the fact that so many people are more comfortable to talk about their feelings, and associate their pics with their comments, tells me that we have come a long way in this country. I mean, we have a black president now! This is truly amazing! I grew up in a town that was well mixed with White, Blacks, Asians, and Hispanics. I never understood people that were prejudice, because my surroundings; including my home life, never allowed me to see color. I didn’t experience racism, until I was older and living on my own. I'm attracted to all races. As long as you treat me with respect and you could be my friend first, all else would fall into place. I’ve noticed that as I gotten older (hitting my 30's), I've found myself more attracted to other races, than my own. I have to be honest; I really think that White men could be more faithful in a committed relationship rather than Black men. Maybe it's not fair to say that, but I'm saying this based on my past experience with them. I’m ready for a relationship that is not based on sex only! I need someone that I can have a decent, intelligent conversation with, and I don’t have to worry about talking about my big butt. (LOL) Am I wrong for feeling this way?
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triccinicci says:Posted: 27 Sep 09
RE: Ichibod LoveTheory AlexandraC (read last paragraph Alexandra) Let's see if we can figure out what in the article and this thread posted by "James" in the form of a question (situated almost rhetorically) might manifest itself into racial degradation or self fulfillment of stereotypes, hmmm??? To start just as an example, inverting the question would be helpful to the other end of the racial qualifier: "White Women are Least Attracted to Black Men?" (Now you may find this to be true or not depending on your own observations, that's why I present it as a relative model). Feel the uncertainty? How does the author mean that? It's really a question posed as a double entendre (Defined: A word or phrase having a double meaning, especially when the second meaning is risqué. The use of such a word or phrase; ambiguity.) which the negative qualifiers being the word "least" and the form of an answered question written in an unaswered pattern cancel each other out. Therefor making the question a statement. This statement, no longer registering as a question reads, "White Women are Least Attracted to Black Men". Period. What makes the question a question is first off, decent grammar. The next is intent of the person asking or posing the question. Many perceptions and answers given are manifested in regard of the initial statement or question posed. The author of the question may not have decent grammatical skills and therefor may not be providing the most beneficial forum for his respondents to pose their remarks in. In other words he is not directing, clearly his campaign. His question may be rhetorical (needing no response and presented as a statement). It may have been the writer's intent to have posed the question of the headline indirectly which means it should be answered and observed as a question (see below): "Indirect questions do not close with a question mark but with a period. Like direct questions they demand a response, but they are expressed as declarations without the formal characteristics of a question. That is, they have no inversion, no interrogative words [such as "Are", emphasis mine], and no special intonation. We can imagine, for example, a situation in which one person asks another, 'Are you going downtown?' (a direct question). The person addressed does not hear and a bystander says, 'He asked if you were going downtown.' That is an indirect question. It requires an answer, but it is expressed as a statement and so is closed by a period, not a query." (Thomas S. Kane, The New Oxford Guide to Writing, Oxford University Press, 1988) Regardless of the author's intent or his writing capabilities, we can't (I won't) continue to encourage the seemingly lax approach to marketing campaigns directed at a specific portion of what should typically be, a diversified pool. Especially when you have individual observations stating the obvious ambiguity of intent in not one, but several articles! Writers should be clear in their intent to their audiences (Rush Limbaugh is, lol!). Blogs should be curteous and review suitable articles for their audiences. If they are not sure how to reach a certain segment of their audience, poll them. Audiences can get their clarity from the headline OR the content beneath. "Really" as a statement of fact, is dubious to say the least and offers no substantiation to anything on its hinder side. Its position certainly doesn't answer any question (or non-question) the author himself posed. This leaves the reader to assume whatever the writer is too discompassionate to present. Therefor the audience falls prey to relying on the device of what is believed the author "means". Resulting in conjecture by the respondent to sometimes make misleading or misdirected statements about self. SIDEBAR: This is unfair to the believing audience who stopped in based on the idea the site "encourages" interracial dating. By fostering a self-inclinating belief that Women of Color are somehow dubiously unattractive? WTH (or should I say, "Reeeaaallly!"), lol! Being clear as well as creative is the force that is with you (the writer). For this the writer commits to not intentionally or unintentionally mislead their audience. The other major aspect is to entertain. I dare say African American audiences are so happy to see subjects catering to our national and culture mixes that we would continue to injest the coy manner in which many writings depict us. The above headline is no different. No matter how we might champion to not beat up on the author of it for trying. No matter how some may encourage and suggest a bit more variety, the obligation still arrives at the same port. Let's see real headlines with support based articles where we can truly find a place to share and enjoy the growing diversity we all acknowledge is working or of interest to us. I'm almost certain there would be a much greater response if the audience were offered the merits of interracial dating. AlexandraC, thanks for clarifying the intent of what I wrote for LoveTheory, I believe it was. As I do enjoy the magic of words and have great love for the written word! Words provoke thought. Thought creates actions. Actions create the same between you and me...to wit: love, peace, war, happiness, UNDERSTANDING.
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Fire321 says:Posted: 27 Sep 09
I believe there are a lot more white men attracted to black women but a larger percentage of them are not willing to step out of their comfort zone (for whatever reasons they may have) when it comes interracial dating.
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Parables says:Posted: 26 Sep 09
*Sigh* I agree with the 2 young ladies (Angel and Alexandra)....ENOUGH ALREADY! Honestly, I'm too old for this sh%! I mean really, either you want to make it happen with someone or you don't. WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS ON A SITE WHICH IS SUPPOSED TO BE A PLACE FOR THOSE WHO ARE OPEN TO DATING DIFFERENT RACES OF PEOPLE? Come on...dig deeper and come up with more thought provoking topics. We are beautiful, intelligent people who love, laugh, think, and feel deeply.
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LoveTheorist says:Posted: 26 Sep 09
AlexandraC, Thank you- but I understood the meaning of her words without difficulty. The question concerned her reasoning: what is there in James' post that gave her the impression that there was some "subliminal message" attacking black women? Please see Ichibod's most recent comment for a simple and accurate description of what was asked (I hope that this comment is posted in order). I am new here, and I do see aweetangel23 and others saying that this site has posted this topic several times before (I will try to find the posts and read them). That certainly does not sound ideal to me, but once again, I'm puzzled as to why anybody would conclude that the purpose is to piss off black women. Do James and co not enjoy getting money? Why would they risk their business by purposefully insulting a large segment of their customers?
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Opinion
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How Soon is Too Soon to Go Away with a Date?
How Soon is Too Soon to Go Away with a Date? The beginning of a relationship is one of the most exciting times, filled with bright expectations and new adventures. One of the things that makes this period especially fun is the prospect of vacati...
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Love Without Borders: The Beauty of Cultural Diversity in Relationships
Love Without Borders: The Beauty of Cultural Diversity in Relationships Embracing diversity in romantic partnerships can greatly enhance the richness and satisfaction in love. This exploration delves into how cultural differences, traditions, and unique viewpoints contrib...
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How To Be a Good Boyfriend: 10 Ways to Up Your Relationship Game
How To Be a Good Boyfriend: 10 Ways to Up Your Relationship Game You've found someone special, and you want to make sure you're being the best partner you can be. Whether you're navigating the early stages of a relationship or deepening your connection with a long-...
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9 Signs you’re ready to get engaged
9 Signs you’re ready to get engaged So, you're thinking about taking that big step and getting engaged, huh? It's a major milestone in any relationship, and understandably, you want to make sure you're absolutely ready before you pop th...
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Why You Might Want to Try Dating Multiple People
Why You Might Want to Try Dating Multiple People In today's dating world, options are aplenty, especially with the rise of online dating. It's not uncommon to find yourself seeing multiple people at once or exploring different connections simultaneo...
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Navigating Early Relationship Conflicts with Care
Navigating Early Relationship Conflicts with Care Whether it's days or months into a relationship, the first fight with a significant other can be a pivotal moment. Here we are going to delve into the reasons behind early relationship conflicts and e...
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How To Ask for a Second Date and Get It
How To Ask for a Second Date and Get It You've just returned from a promising first date, and the next step is on your mind. The prospect of a second date is exciting, but how to go about it can be a bit perplexing. Fear not, as we are here...
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To Break or Not to Break?
To Break or Not to Break? In the rollercoaster journey of love, there inevitably comes a time when couples may find themselves at a crossroads, wondering if taking a break is the solution to their relationship woes. But does h...
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What Your Laugh Says About You
What Your Laugh Says About You Ever wondered what your sense of humor reveals about your personality? Recent research uncovers four distinct humor styles and the fascinating insights they offer into who we are and how we relate to ...
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Navigating Sexting: The Interplay of Intimacy and Consent
Navigating Sexting: The Interplay of Intimacy and Consent Whether with a long-time partner or a recent flame, engaging in flirtatious text messages or sharing intimate photos has become a common aspect of modern relationships. Sexting, a fusion of "sex" and ...
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Coaching Testimonial
"My online love inspiration angel"
Submitted by: Patricia, USA, 21
To be honest, in the beginning, I thought it would be a waste of time. But since I've never seen a similar service in any other dating site, I decided to give it a try.
I always "thought" my profile was on point and I did not need any help to correct my page. I always had in my profile if someone is not attracted to my profile, then that's "their" loss.
BOY WAS I WRONG!!
I will never forget my first time using the Coaching Service I was introduced to my personal Dating Coach. Let me put it this way, if it was not for her I would have given up long time ago (even though I'm a new member).
She taught me so many things and gave me good advice, I did not want to stop chatting with her at all.
She opened my eyes to many possibilities when finding love. She is definitely an inspiration and I appreciate a whole lot. She is more than a Dating Coach to me; she is more of a close friend/guide to me. She is definitely my "online love-inspiration angel".
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Serious question regarding this website? Any of you guys in here actually realize how many scammers are on here? Sometimes I will receive a flirt only to find out later their profile was closed by an administrator. I emailed them asking why that happens, they said because of scammers. Just wondering if anyone else here has had that as well.