The stranger … my husband
Much as one can petition the court to honor conjugal rights, is there really a way to ensure compliance?
I have a lady pal who has been married for 10 years and has two children. She and the hubby leave in different cities. The hubby, for the last three years has become a stranger in the bedroom and she can think of is that he is having an affair. However, he denies it.
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The hubby claims to be having some kind of problem he doesn’t care to share with her and the trips home have reduced to every two months. And when away, he NEVER calls her. Last time they had sex was like 6 months ago, and that was after throwing a tantrum.
Much as she has tried to be faithful to him through out their marriage, she now finds it very difficult to remain so.
What happens to those whose vows allude to honor conjugal rights : “… With this ring I wed you; with my body I worship you, and with all my worldly goods I endow you…᾿
What would you advice her to do? And how does she get the man to honor her conjugal rights voluntarily rather than compulsorily (by using the law)? Help a sister get laid peeps ;-)
10 responses to "The stranger … my husband"
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poetlove says:Posted: 29 Jun 08
I don't eve believe that, who would put themselves through that
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txcreole says:Posted: 28 Jun 08
She should ask him what he really wants then ask him if he wants an open marriage. The thought of her even considering being with other men should make him do a gut check and also make him reevaluate the marriage and what he really wants. She should also consider what she wants as well. Maybe the problem he has is of the 9 month variety? She should surprise him by visiting him, it may just open up her eyes.
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shykia says:Posted: 26 Jun 08
This is the craziest relationship! All, I have to say "Is different cities why come home to milk the cow when you have a whole pasteur to graze".
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e-dub says:Posted: 20 Jun 08
The idiot at very least needs to come clean about his problems. (If I hadn't been laid in six months, I would expect at least a note from a doctor) If not cut yourself loose from the loser. Take care and good luck
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alphaisis says:Posted: 20 Jun 08
Yeah I agree with the above- why the f*ck are they in different cities? What the hell kind of marriage is that? I suggest she lose him- but she wont do that. He probably pays for everything and she still holds him in her heart. When you meet someone no matter who it is (even a professional will agree) you have to see them as a human being with imperfections and flaws that you can not change- they can only change themselves. I'm no smarter than the average person and even I know that if one person has mentally checked out of a relationship there will be no use in trying. I know its a hard thing to do, especially with two children involved, joint accounts, and the fear of being alone, but its time to let go. I understand being married is something to be proud of, but if he is disrespecting you the way it sounds like he is, you need to move on. A relationship cannot be kept alive out of spite and stubbornness. A woman should never have to compromise. If both parties are not willing to sacrifice then the relationship is over; key word: both. Have some time to take back who you are and figure out who you want to be. Then take the baby steps (they will be hard) to learn to breathe on your own again. Become a Ms. again and give up on that battered Mrs. in the mirror. You'll find happiness at least when you find yourself. Good luck!
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Virgo1 says:Posted: 19 Jun 08
Are you serious with this story? Why in the world are they living in separate cities?????? What kind of marriage is that? That's the start of the problem right there. A marriage is the JOINING of two people, not marrying someone in a separate city and staying separated for whatever ridiculous reason. My goodness, the marriage was faux from the start! They need to come together IN THE SAME CITY, and start building a real relationship, or get a divorce and move on and develop real lives. Sorry to be so harsh, but this needs a serious reality check.
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Namaste2008 says:Posted: 18 Jun 08
First, value and love yourself. Ask husband what is he doing about problem. Seek counseling together. If he's not willing. Lose him.
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Take back your Power! Why you ever let it go is beyond me... Take it back, dim all the lights, get the sexiest music playing, light the way to the bed room, have your sexy self all prepared with naughty lingerie & get busy!!! Never - Ever expect a man to do for you what you can take charge of & do for yourself... YES, we have to give a little bit more, to get back... So What! It beats the alternitive all to hell!!! ***** (in the event you are rejected, remind him that you are a beautiful, sexy, desirable woman, & you will be getting it somewhere if he is no longer going to participate... and mean it!) Men do not like to have a thought cross their mind that they may just lose at their own game. I have read way too many "how to" & "self help" books! Funny, how as much as we fight it - we still own it!