Sex with an Ex...Good Idea or Recipe for Heartache?
Now I know that I'm not the only one on this ...'cause I was not alone when it happened. There is something to be said about the old and familiar. You KNOW that they are not MR or Ms. Right...but, is it alright to go back for "just one night"?
Now you know that Leticia keeps it real with you. So, as I asked the question, my first notion was to say..."Everyone knows the answer to the question is NO". However, after more thought and asking the MALE me, (my best friend), his opinion, I've come to the conclusion that Yes, there are times that it is okay to go back...for just one night. Here's when:
- There are no batteries and the electricity's out
- You're on a serious diet and chocolate and a pint of your favorite ice cream is out of the question
- You've already had your limit of colon cleansers for the month
- You've cleaned your house, organized all your files and helped at least 2 friends do the same
Okay, maybe those are pretty extreme situations, but you get my drift right? I'm sure that there are a few people that can handle the emotional baggage that comes with slipping back into the familiar, even when you know that the road leads to a dead end street.
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Now I already know that there are those among us that will argue that it's only sex. And to that I would say you are right. However, how many times have you had a sexual experience and walked away from it thinking, "that was great, just what I needed, end of story"? Probably not as many that walked away thinking, "why did I do that? What was I thinking? I' can't believe I fell for that again!"
It's not just women that regret having sex with an ex. Men may enjoy the physical for the sake of what it is, but the regret sets in when and if they have a partner that takes that encounter and reads more into it. Then they are forced to be "the bad guy", because not everyone was on the same...page. Or worse, they read more into it, because every man knows that women ONLY have sex when they care deeply for a man...so, she must still care...wrong!
On a serious note, having a "one-nighter" with an ex, might be okay, when both parties understand that it is just a physical thing. That its easier and safer than going to a bar and picking up someone new, that you know that the experience is going to be gratifying for the most part, (everyone knows what the other is working with), and because you once had an emotional connection, there are probable still traces of that there.
The key is in the communication. But, with all the benefits that come with having a "safe" sexual encounter with your ex, there is always the "B" side. You may both agree that this is all about the "booty"; however, the brain has a funny way of working. If you think its okay to go back and indulge yourself for one, two or a few nights with an ex, when does it stop? When will you honestly allow yourself the real chance of meeting the right person to give it a shot with?
Think of it this way, while you're living for the moment with someone that you already know is not going to be a permanent part of your future, what is your future doing? How many times have we found the right one and thought..."I wished I'd met you earlier", you couldn't...you were still in bed with your past!
80 responses to "Sex with an Ex...Good Idea or Recipe for Heartache?"
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 29 Apr 07okay y'all, say it all together...HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO COCO :) Dang I am gettin old :)
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NICEFELLA115 says:Posted: 25 Apr 07why have sex with an ex, when there is plenty of new fish.
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fala says:Posted: 24 Apr 07
I'll second that Sweetness20. Unme you are very bad!
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nicefella115 says:Posted: 18 Apr 07
it only gives her more of a reason to stop by more. so i would say nooooo
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Tamara says:Posted: 18 Apr 07I think it is a definite recipe for headache. I have done it and when the whole deal is done you usually feel like crap. Well, needless to say even though i felt like crap i still did it again, because hey the sex was the bomb, lol.
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mossimo36 says:Posted: 18 Apr 07A recipe for another mistake...after all, why are they your ex to begin with?
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2ute4u says:Posted: 16 Apr 07
well it's a challenge all around to find someone for the in - between time and i find sex w/an ex is safe r than going elsewhere becuz of familiarity ...sure is better than me doing myself...lol
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pleasjure13 says:Posted: 13 Apr 07
Coco I enjoy you a lot...I am a kidder and find having fun with you extremely delightful...lol
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 12 Apr 07
Pleas...nope, nope nope...not gonna happen...no way, no how. Now if that "friend" and I decided that we should date, all that other stuff would follow...someday. I'm not the type to be looking for my next ex already, so no bumping for me...LOL
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pleasjure13 says:Posted: 12 Apr 07
errr...what if you never had sex during the relationship? Then started being bumping buddies ....heeeeeeee.
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 11 Apr 07
Pleasjure, you know, some of us have this thing about going backwards. If we ended as friends, why ruin that friendship by being bumping buddies? No sireee...that is NOT for me!
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Fala says:Posted: 10 Apr 07
Everything looks better in 20/20 hind sight Pleasjure.
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Legs34 says:Posted: 10 Apr 07I agree with Fala...it all depends on how things ended...if you ended things and somehow remained friends, who knows if you hook up again, you might be able to rekindle what was lost.
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pleasjure13 says:Posted: 05 Apr 07
Really for me to have sex with an ex would be an indication that our relationship was primarily based on sex.While sex may have been great we should all realize that many more ingredients are needed in a relationship in order for it to prevail.It may be that having sex with an ex is a way of releasing confined agression particularly with a partner of which a messy break up occurred..."Ouch Coco put that needle down".
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meluran says:Posted: 05 Apr 07Sex with your Ex !! That's means She or he has never been your Ex. Why don't you come back !!
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mossimo36 says:Posted: 04 Apr 07
New horizons people!! That being said, I can think of an ex who would be a blast from the past!
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nicefella115 says:Posted: 02 Apr 07
i think everybody here is crazy, with all of these funny comments.
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pleasjure13 says:Posted: 01 Apr 07
No that father time is finally catching up on me maybe it would be good to be able to take a trip into the past...cause I show aint gettin none now....heeeeeeeeeee
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texasbest says:Posted: 30 Mar 07
Sex with your ex is great,you always have a reason to slap him.
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pleasjure13 says:Posted: 26 Mar 07
Fala ...I am sooooooooo available...heeeeeeee...lol
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Fala says:Posted: 25 Mar 07
It all depends on how things ended with you two. Obviously if there was lots of animosity or drama - sex is not an option. But if you two part as friends and you had good sex - why not? Especially if no one else is available at the moment.
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pleasjure13 says:Posted: 25 Mar 07
I am with you Tarha...I might look back a time or two but never to return. It is not necessarily due to hate for person...just that things have changed.
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mossimo36 says:Posted: 25 Mar 07
No sex with the ex!! Finally got out of that relationship only to jump back in? No thanks!!!
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 24 Mar 07
You gotta love these comments! I can see most of us would rather stick a needle in our eye than sleep with one of our slimy exes. If I just need sex, I can think of a lot better people than him to do it with :)
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Joe says:Posted: 23 Mar 07
I have sex with my ex-wife all the time. We have been divorced for 10-years now, but we get together almost every weekend to talk and get it on. We broke up because she is all about and from a OLD-MONEY family and I am a guy from South Philly, aka (Rocky Balboa type) without the stupid look or voice and language. Although I am well educated and Ok financially, Her family was the problem as well as herself, she simply wanted someone to control,using her money legacy. I am an independent entrepreneur and very "open minded.", so on top of dating many women of many races and color, Having sex with my Ex-Wife is fun, because in 10-years, she has trouble with her relationships, even guys who have Big-dollars like her, and the one proud thing I have going for me, I satisfy her sexual desires where all these other guys could not, so when I hear, Joe, lets fly to Miami for the weekend, if I don't have other committments, I go on her dimes and I make sure, I am pleased all weekend long.
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charlee1 says:Posted: 22 Mar 07no way! i wouldn't even let him touch my arm much less have sex with him! yuk!
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sweetnes20 says:Posted: 22 Mar 07
oh hells no, id pop him before i had sex with him.
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Tarah says:Posted: 20 Mar 07Wow! I'm with you cocokisses, no way I would return! And sex is more than sex to me...
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SoulFlower says:Posted: 20 Mar 07Hmm this is funny and I like the colon cleansers part. That is to let you know the relationship was crap but the sex was probably good. I would say No to this but if you have to say YES treat him like a one night stand. Handle your business take a shower and leave him standing there.
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nicefella115 says:Posted: 20 Mar 07
are you kidding me? i hate my ex, let alone sleep with her dirty ass again.
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unme23 says:Posted: 20 Mar 07
a headache for sure, she is an ex for a reason.
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 19 Mar 07
This is so not for me! Sex with an ex? He is an EX for a reason so I am not going back there. I don't believe in looking back, and I am certainly not trying to crawl back into a pit that I finally got out of!
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