Is rushed intimacy the cause of divorce?
Bonding is a process… when two people of the opposite sex meet. Ever met someone you just said hi and then suddenly you are all kissy and touchy and suddenly… BAM!! the two of you are tearing at each other’s clothes?
According to some psychologists, this is harmful. Apparently, when bonding steps are skipped, missed or rushed, the bond is weakened, tends to break or get deformed… especially when you don’t take time to walk through important issues in life – values, goals, beliefs – before becoming physically involved.
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When you break up with someone, there is a tendency to accelerate these steps with the next person you meet. I guess its all about being used to some level of excitement with the previous partner and you don’t take the time to actually get to know this person. Your excited hormones just lead you right into bed with them.
I guess this is why it is called a rebound. There is the tendency to jump from one sexual relationship to the next because you actually don’t know the person you are sleeping with.
Most people may not agree with this analysis but does this explain the higher divorce statistics for those entering into marriage for the second and third time? Is this because of defective bonding processes? Think about it.
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2 responses to "Is rushed intimacy the cause of divorce?"
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silvertop says:Posted: 29 Aug 07I agree that intimacy is esential to the life of the relationship. If the couple has not developed that bonding period which is more of an emotional connection. Intimacy is that aspect of the relationship that permits the couple to allow themselves to be vulnerable with each other. Intimacy allows the couple to escape from the hectic pace of day to day living. If a couple does not cultivate that degree of expressed love and affection, the woes of daily living will wedge into any crack in their foundation. The crack will widen if intimacy is not valued or view needed.
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The chemical reactions can cause a leap over bonding steps. Going backwards can be difficult but not impossible. Immediate gratification does not lend itself to mature development.