Interracial dating: Is America a true "melting pot"?
Americans today proudly describe their nation as a “melting pot᾿. This is largely attributed to the increase in interracial marriages and the ousting of the U.S. Supreme Court laws banning racial intermarriage in 1967. And with most universities integrating students from diverse nationalities, seems like the universities are putting much effort in doing away with those wicked seeds of racism and prejudice.
Hoooow-ever, interracial relationships are still among the most psychoanalyzed topics. Society still frowns on interracial marriages… describing them as relationships pegged on the lure of the exotic, as opposed to accepting them as relationships based on love and compatibility.
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Stereotypes about interracial couples… especially black and white… never cease (black men perceive white women as trophies… black women marrying white men for social acceptance.)
We all are aware of certain inherent problems with interracial dating. For those dating interracially, would you still consider our America to be a “melting pot᾿ if all you get when walking hand in hand with your spouse are some comic, surprising, and sometimes even vulgar reactions?
Correct me if am wrong but… much as we have come a long way, I think the society is still not completely mature to accept interracial dating. This is all because of racist and sexist stereotyping (the black man as the ultimate male sexual fantasy and Asian women as exotic and submissive sexpots). Such inaccurate and harmful stereotypes have for a long time been influencing people's dating habits … encouraging feelings of anxiety, inadequacy, out casting or stigmatizing certain races and ethnicities and thereby escalating resentment and animosity toward interracial dating.
Even though there have been success stories about people from diverse, and sometimes antagonistic worlds defying cultural bigotry and get married, the idea of turning America into a fully fledged “melting pot᾿ isn’t sitting well with many.
Take interracial dating for instance… it seems somehow to be connected to immoral sexual acts. Ever tried searching on the Internet for 'interracial dating' or similar search phrases? Many a times a list of pornography sites will come up, featuring sex between black men and white women. Apparently, when interracial dating is appalling to some, it is erotically stimulating for others. Strange “melting pot᾿ huh!
Truth is such self-professed critics do not comprehend the soul-searching that goes into making an interracial relationship work. Interracial couples deal with far greater challenges than 'regular couples'. Interracial Dating to say the least can be difficult. And the people who aren’t doing it mostly cause this difficulty.
Why impose your beliefs, ways of life and ignorance upon those who are free enough to date people from other cultures. Why do other people keep dragging other Americans behind in their quest to make the world one big happy family? Those who have embraced other races and cultures are the true Americans at heart.
Love loves all regardless of skin color or race or religion. Now that, IS a TRUE “melting pot᾿.
Tags: melting pot
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44 responses to "Interracial dating: Is America a true "melting pot"?"
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Joel_SV says:Posted: 27 May 11I must agree that America is still ahead of much of the world in terms of diversity and interracial dating. Seems the back/white divide will just take longer to conquer in this country, simple because it has to do with where you are located within th US. I always though Oklahoma was more progressive in its erasing the the divide between the various races here, but I am finding this not to be the case,which truly saddens me. This seems to be the most unlikely place for a melting pot to not occur, but it is not and it is due with all the negativity and people can be so narrow minded, but they are very much so here.
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Grotty says:Posted: 23 May 11
I just tried searching for interracial couples in Britain and a load of porn sites came up.
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Jenna says:Posted: 13 Jun 10America a melting pot!?! Oh Mahanta! Speaking about lies,half truths and innuendos eh? Melting pot of what exactly? Hate!! For a so called first world country,you guys are way behind my third world country as it relates to race relations! Still have far to go in that area guys,good luck indeed! May the blessings be!
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Swinbaho says:Posted: 12 Jun 10
Much ado about nothing. Being an outsider, I'm astonished that the subject of interracial marriages is such a hot button issue in Uncle Sam's country. So much confusion, so much dilemma. I guess I'm much unlikely to face such attitudes in the UK, Germany or Latin America, or just about anywhere else in the world. I'm a dark-skinned Fijian man with a White Colombian girlfriend - The world is a SMALL PLACE indeed. One of my American friends once told me if I ever decided to travel to the US, stick to liberal cities like New York, San Francisco, Seattle, Chicago and maybe some of the university towns and avoid any travels to the South or MidWest.
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KD12 says:Posted: 29 Nov 09
I really like your post and an also relate to it a lot. About a month ago i met this black guy named Antonio. We hit it off great rom the begining and soon we began dating. Since then it has caused many problems between me and my father beause he doesnt agree in dating between races. Im a white female and i am highly attracted to black males. I am getting so tierd of all the negativity and sterotypes that come along with interracial dating and don't understand how people can be so narrow minded. I am going to stay strong though because i prove people wrong about everything said about mixing races. Im going to walk hand in hand with him, ignore all negivtivity, and show people that there is nothing wrong with it. I hope one day all people of the world will realize that everyone is equal and loive is love no matter what color or culture.
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Bellara says:Posted: 21 Nov 09america is far cry from being a melting pot...i think UK (london to be precise is a better depiction of melting pot). america claims to be a melting pot but they are yet to prove it.
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Member says:Posted: 17 Jul 09
I basically jst wanna say that where I live, which is a smaller city in Western PA, there are more mixed people than those of just one race. I feel as though it truly just doesn't even matter anymore. My mother is Syrain and my dad is Irish. Growing up, race has never been a discussion at my household excpet to celebrate the differences. I'm a product of mixing and if I we're to have a child with my current b/f, that child would be of; American Indian, Syrian, Irish, and Black decent. And it's so celebrated around here n everyone say's the child would be un-doubtedly beautiful. Other than from watching movies such as crash, which may be an abloviation for the sake of making a point, I just don't get WHY in today's society, when we have so many real issues, do grown people STILL want to make this an issue?
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euridicey says:Posted: 16 Apr 09Although I have never been to America so can't comment on the melting pot there ,I would say that England is way ahead in accepting interracial couples.Where I live you can't walk down the road without seeing an interracial couple or a child of dual heritage its the norm.There are more black male white female combos here but being as most of them are not married and have no intention of doing so the stats show many children as living in one parent households without a father.White male black female couple are rare but growing.
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homesteader says:Posted: 07 Apr 09
On Good Friday , We shall celebrate Our second year of Marriage . We have not destroyed anything Jack / What We have done is Build a Lasting Relationship , dispite the Negative feelings and Ignorant remarks of a Very few uneducated in the way of a Happy Life - We shall have together . This United States of America is where people moved to in the Beginning to get away from Supression from those that felt they knew it all .
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Jack... says:Posted: 09 Jan 09
Thanks people for destroy the ethnicities in this country(worldwide next), It's really impressive how people destroys beautifuls cultures mixing themselves. In the future when everybody got mixed the correct term will be "messing pot"
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homesteader says:Posted: 30 Dec 08
I had dated in my younger years , when we had talked on the telephone for a little while , I just flat out asked her to marry me and she said " Yes " because I did not come here to play silly games which seemed to be what the others I had spent time talking with wanted to do it , I am an Honest hard working man , who physically loaded and unloaded 53' trailers bye hand for years and the sign on back of trailer stated " Drive for the Best " and the Tractor I piloted over U.S. Interstates was a $ 165,000.00 Kenworth W900L , looking down on those B.M.W. 's and Mercedes Benz made me feel as God himself and along with that , My boss trusted me with half a million dollars in freight also , Earlier in my life I experimented with those games Ladies played . We met married in three days and have grown together everyday since . The years that I spent here establishing relations with teasers online all came to nought . It was their loss and her gain . 60 years old and still got the muscle of a young stud . we came , we saw , we conquered . Not because we were of different Heritage , becase we were a man and a women looking for Love ,Love Les
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Member says:Posted: 30 Aug 08
Nice Post and insightful comments. To give you a complete outsider's perspective, I find interracial relationships focussed upon too much in the American media, and it is only increasing the racial hatred among insular folks in backward areas. The moment the focus on this stops, things will simmer down a bit and people will be allowed to marry or be with whomsoever they may choose to be with, regardless of age, sex, color, creed, race, etc. This issue is slowly on the rise in India as well, where previously there existed a huge invisible divide between North Indian and South Indian peoples. Nowadays, a lot of marriages are happening across this invisible border, infuriating the religious and regionalistic fundamentalists. Let's face it, almost all of us discriminate in some form or the other, as it is fundamentally human to distinguish. The real trouble comes, when someone weaves in politically and religiously motivated elements into the picture.
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DestinedForGreatness says:Posted: 06 Jun 08
Interracial dating is a truly interesting phenomenon that forces people who would otherwise wish to avoid race relations to make decisions about how they really feel about other races. It exposes hidden stereotypes. Every bit of blind advice I have ever received from people of my own race, have been first off; unsolicited, and second off; based solely on stereotypes. In every case, these same naysayers have grown to love, or at least tolerate my counterpart of choice. I am a black man, and much like the writer, have been exposed to many of these common stereotypes. I have grown up in the middle-aged white community most of my life, so being around whites has never been uncomfortable for me. My parents moved into that lifestyle, therefore they have always forgotten to realize that they have raised me into it. I blame it all on/ thank them quite honestly. Skin color on a woman to me is just as significant as the eye or hair color, which really amounts to nothing. While I do believe that we live in a so-called "melting pot," I believe that we are still melting. We haven't fully melted just yet. There are still components of the "pot" that have yet to detach itself from the expectations of the past. I was in a situation recently with a white female in which she was in a strange crossroads in that her grandmother did not approve of her being involved with me. She was told that dating me was against her religion, and so long as she was in contact with me, she would not be in contact with her grandmother. Infuriated, I told her to do what she had to do. I figured she would stop talking to me, but when she chose the latter, I was shocked. At that point, I completely understood the generational gap in relation to race and it solidified the idea that things are going to eventually change in the matter of interracial dating. We must give the pot time to melt. I can honestly say that I don't know which race of woman I prefer, simply because there is no prototype of each race for me to choose from. For me to place a stereotype for any race of woman is unfair to begin with. I would be a hypocrite if I did that. ::DFG::
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mossimo36 says:Posted: 12 May 08
Very true cocokisses. I remember my first flight shortly after 9/11 and the ground crew had a huge American flag they were waving as we taxied out of Miami. Was a very moving experience. We seem to unite in times like that but fall apart the rest of the time.
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LilSThang says:Posted: 18 Apr 08Yanno ... I have been blessed to have been raised in a wonderful loving family. My grampa was a beautiful dark brown from his native heritage, my mom is light brown and beautiful ... lol ... I ended up with the white german looks! My family never preached predijuce towards any person or culture. That is the blessing. When I first started dating around 14, I dated what was available in the town, mainly whites and mexicans. When I was 15, we moved to a town where there was a college. There were alot of black guys in our area ... and the funny thing is ... these were the first "real" black people I had seen. I was still dating all different kinds of dudes, and had my first black boyfriend @ 15/16. My parents and entire family were completely accepting and still are of any of my choices, regardless of the color. Their main concern is how the guy treats me. All of my black bfs have attended family gatherings and were completely accepted as part of the family. And it was likewise with their families. In fact, my first black bf's mom actually dispised white women and white people in general. She saw the person I was and not only invited me into her home (which a white person had never stepped in) and let me stay the night (in a seperate bedroom from my bf of course !!! hahaha). My older brother married a hispanic girl, my younger brother married a japanese/hispanic girl, and I've been dating blacks ever since I was 15/16. Guess you could say we are an interracial family! In the Pacific NW of the USA where I live, interracial couples are abundant. I'll never forget when I first moved here, seeing a white guy with 4 little mixed children. The look on his face was pure love and joy. You see alot of racial mixing, whites, blacks, hispanic, aisian ... everyone with everyone. Now I'm not going to say that its all peachy, beacause there is always racial hatred where ever you are ... but through out my travels, I found that this is one of the most accepting places I have been for letting people be people. Blessings to you all .. LilSweetThang
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Chokolateluv says:Posted: 05 Nov 07Compared to Europe and some other parts of the World not IT IS NOT! a melting pot This racist segregated shit bag society. This myth was started during the turn of the century. I want out of this country and have been looking for a way out. Where I live, the shitbag deep south, interracial dating is Not acceptable here. Not true relationships. Every white woman i have ever talked to here has been a racist. That includes the so called black mecca Atlanta too. All busllshite.
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cady says:Posted: 28 Aug 07
I have to admit that when I see an obviously attractive young Black woman in the company of a White man who is not necessarily what you would call good looking, I am guilty of wondering the same question I am sure other people wonder when they see me in the company of an older white male: how desperate for a White man can she be? It just so happens that I am attracted to older men. I have actually only once or twice been with a man who wasn’t at least 10 years older than myself. And I have never been with an exceptionally good looking man, Black or White, primarily because I’ve never really personally met any man I thought was exceptionally good looking. The physical qualities that usually attract my attention, before any words get exchanged have nothing to do with the man’s race. Unlike some Black women who claim to only be attracted to White men, I can find a man physically attractive whether he is Black, White, Asian, Hispanic, Indian or other; but a man has to move me beyond mere physical interest. I am the type of woman that men find attractive until they try to have a conversation with me. Then, most men don’t know how to handle me. I’m too different from what they expect, whether they are Black or White or whatever. Because I am a Black woman I am expected to have a certain way of speaking and conducting myself, so when the average Black man strikes up a conversation with me, as soon as I speak my first word he is put off by the absence of the ’sista’ attitude he expects. The same is true for those White men who are interested in a stereotype. They can’t identify with a Black woman unless she has that thing that makes Black women "Black" in the eyes of society, the way of speaking, the mannerisms, the ’flava’. So it has never been easy for me to make connections with men. Generally it has been older men who are more worldy, more experienced, and more intellectual who have taken the time to get to know me. So when I am out in public with a man very likely he will be obviously older, and when he’s White on top of being older, it can seem to people to be a curious match--a younger, attractive Black woman with an older not necessarily attractive White man. More often than not people conclude that I am with the man because I was so desperate for a White man that I any old White man who gave me the time of day. I myself have drawn that conclusion upon seeing younger, attractive Black women in public with older White men. But in reality, the Black woman who does not act the way Black women are stereotyped to act is very often rejected by the stereotypical Black male as well as the Black male who, like she, defies the stereotypical image of Black people. While some do, it is not all Black women dating white men who consciously go out seeking White men. Many are just women who happen to have no restrictions in place when it comes to dating, meaning they don’t consider any race of man to be someone they can’t date because he’s not Black. So when they are approached by a non-Black male, if they are interested in the individual they explore the possibilities the same way they would explore it with a Black man if a Black man bothered to try to get to know them.
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Galla says:Posted: 26 Aug 07
That's what I was thinking, Marpaticia. I just spent my summer in the UK, and I must say, America doesn't even come close to being a melting pot compared to Britain.
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marpaticia says:Posted: 25 Aug 07
I cant comment on the American values concerning mixed relationships. Its a very large country and I suspect inspite of any racism or prejudices there appears to be thousands of inter relationships based on the thousands of mixed race children I notice on my visits. Whatever peoples feelings about this issue mixed relationships cannot ever be eradicated because like attracts like whether its black white pink or blue ( I much prefer the blue people - lol)As a country which helped in the propogation of racism perhaps its now time to propogate togetherness. I am British black originally from the Caribbean and was married to a white englishman for 25 years prior to divorce. Fortunately we didnt suffer any overt comments but it would never have bothered me because as far as I am concern its their problem and let them deal with it. I didnt have to cook for them, live with them , see them and certainly sleep with them. We cant allow other people to control our lives. Britain unlike America appears to be more liberal and mixed relationships here is common amongst all classes of society. My parents motto was "Look not for beauty or colour or skin just look for the heart thats loyal within". Thats how I live my life and thats what I teach my son. Good luck to all of you.
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britishsoulgirl says:Posted: 23 Aug 07
I think America is way behind the times, Im in a interracial relationship, will be getting married . People always seem to mind our business you would think I have 2 heads the way people stare. I just live my life.
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Cassandra says:Posted: 21 Aug 07
"I think America is still ahead of much of the world in terms of diversity and interracial dating. Seems the back/white divide will just take longer to conquer in this country than in say Europe or Africa. My two cents….your mileage may vary" Are you kidding me? Africa and Europe? I think maybe you need to think that statement. Sei italiano?
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anna says:Posted: 14 Aug 07
Impressions-on-online-dating Are you a little uncomfortable with the idea of Internet dating ? Have you thought about how great it is for busy people; how convenient ? Don’t ever be duped by an online dating suitor. There are tales if deceit and heartbreak, don’t be one of them. 1. It is easy to get involved in online dating relationships. Some find themselves enjoying the flirtatious advances of the opposite sex, both in chat rooms and with online dating services. People get sucked into online relationships and become addicted to the world of online dating and chat rooms. For some it becomes an obsession. 2. Because there is anonymity, there is deceit and lies in chat rooms. You can create a persona, quite different from yourself. You can act out a part, instead of being a real person. There are characters online ready to predate on the unwary and naive. 3. Online dating is every bit real.There is addiction, obsessiveness, vindictiveness, desperation, impulsiveness, and even downright guilt. Love is powerful emotion. Do not follow your heart and not your head. Don’t journey outside your comfort zone and be overtaken by a seductive search for true companionship. 4. Are you smart about online dating ?Do you tell yourself, “I’ll keep the relationship at the e-mail level before deciding to talk on the phone!᾿ Yes, take baby steps to discover if you have a great deal in common. You can enjoy chat rooms, but be aware where it can lead you if you are not savvy. 5. We live in an age of instant communication with mobile phones, sms, internet relay Chat, instant messaging, ICQ. You surf the Web and up pops a message from a potential lover. The nice thing about internet dating is that you can do it at your own pace without taking time away from work.
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MsShaybabe says:Posted: 28 May 11Anna you said it very well...some people need to know these things while attempting to find that special someone online.
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ms006 says:Posted: 13 Aug 07
Interracial dating is and will always be a touchy subject for some. Every race has that amount of people who disagree with stepping out of bounds and dating another race. When other people see it and disagree, they aren't looking at the love the couple may have and they don't care about it; this is where ignorance comes into play, followed by prejudice. People don't know how to mind their own business and live their life and stop trying to get into someone else's basically. The judgements made against interracial dating are deep in the roots of the judge. It all goes back to when a kid is picking on someone because they are the ones who have the problem. So until someone can fix everyone's problems, the interracial couple is going to have to ignore other people's ignorant comments because they really don't understand.
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 08 Aug 07Mossimo, remember, it did happen-if only for a short time. When? September 11. 2001!
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mossimo says:Posted: 07 Aug 07
Glad to hear not everyone hates. I wonder what it would take to unite this country as one....thoughts?
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KaptainKaos says:Posted: 06 Aug 07
I grew up in the south and it was very hard for me to hate like my brothers do. I have always been fascinating of other cultures and how they brought a richness in mine. I have a 22 y/o Honduran woman as my girlfriend and soulmate. Even though there is a major language barrier between her family and myself there is always respect and we do work out our differences. I am so in love with her and her family and culture in transcends all else.
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JERIGAL says:Posted: 31 Jul 07
REPLYING, THE ONLY ONES WHO CONTINUE TO DENY INTER-RACIAL MINGLING IN AMERICA, ARE THOSE WHO ARE FRIGHTENED TO DEATH TO ADMIT IT. THEY HAVE A VWSTED STAKE IN CLAIMING AMERICAN BIGOTRY EVERYWHERE. IF THEY WERE TO ADMIT IT, MANY OF THEM MIGHT LOSE THEIR VERY LUCRATIVE POSITIONS. THEY HAVE AN INVESTMENT IN CLAIMING AMERICA IS A RACIST COUNTRY. OF COURSE, WE HAVE A WAY TO GO, BUT SO DOES EVERYWHERE ELSE, INCLUDING BLACK AFRICA ITSELF. MANY OF THOSE WHO DENY THE SIGNIFICANT ADVANCES IN AMERICAN RACIAL INTEGRATION, HAVE AN INVESTMENT IN SUCH DENIAL. HOW MANY OF THEM WOULD ADMIT, E G., THAT OJ SIMPSON REALLY DID MURDER HIS WIFE, NICOLE, AND YOUNG RON GOLDMAN? IF AMERICA IS SO INCORRIGIBLE, WHO ARE ALL THOSE INTERRACIAL GROUPS I SEE EVERYWHERE? IN GREEK FABLES, IT IS CALLED 'SOUR GRAPES." THDSE CRITICS OWE THEIR EXISTENCE TO THE PERCEPTIONS OF RACIAL AMERICA. NONE OF THEM, E. G., EVERY MENTION UNITED STATES SENATOR COHEN, WHO HAS HAD A BLACK WIFE SINCE HIS COLLEGE DAYS, AND HAPPILY MARRIED? IF AMERICA IS NOT A MELTIN POT, NAME ONE COUNTRY WHICH DOES IT BETTER? E. G., USE BLACK AFRICA AS AN EXMAPLE. NO ONE IS KILLING THE BLACK FOLK MORE LUSTILY THAN BLACK RULERS, SUCH AS IN DARFUR, ETC. AND THE ARABS STILL USE BLACK SLAVES, DISREGARDED BY THESE BIGOTS. FOOLS AND BIGOTS, THAT IS WHAT WE ARE HEARING. JERIGAL
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SAUNDRA says:Posted: 30 Jul 07
"interracial dating" is difficult for people because they need to have the courage to love someone in a world where everyone will take one look at the couple and hate their guts to the core. The couple needs nerve tingling courage to face a stupid, vicious, sociopathic world that wants them excommunicated because they donot look the same. That is why it is so-called "hard" for most Interracial couples, how fun can it be when you know the entire world hates you and wants you non-existent? that's not fun. Some people are very sick, I call them curtain crawlers and window pane peepers, they are just relentless sick voyeurs that need to probe into the lives of other people and invent any thing they can to destroy their lives. They can't mind their own business they must tell other people how to live, who to date, what to wear, what they can or can't do in life. Sitting in the background of the world getting into other people's relationships and spreading vicious lies and hate to destroy them and try to keep certain "races" seperate. Why don't these twisted people in this country and in this world just mind their own business? If you don't like "interracial" people then stay out of their mix! Strangers we don't even know are our unannounced wedding planners and relationship experts, telling us who to date, and that we should be seperate because of our skin color! The stupid nerve of the bigots in this universe! Impossible!
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Cocokisses says:Posted: 28 Jul 07
Wow...I didn't know Black Women marrying White Men would give us social acceptance...now that's a load of cowchips!
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mossimo says:Posted: 28 Jul 07
Good post Sailor! Fala, I have whatever you need darlin!!!
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laugh_sailor says:Posted: 28 Jul 07Acceptance of interracial dating is regional and social: In my neighborhood, there are often interracial couples of all flavors but particularly black and white. In sailing communities, there are stuck-up yacht clubs full of bigots and ones like the one I belong to, which are an active bunch of happy sailors, welcoming and supportive of all who are fundamentally good people, who participate. People who travel in their boats, "cruisers," are much more accepting of others but there are some bigots there, as well. I think we're making slow progress in integration and as an example of that point to racist jokes: They're no longer cool, funny or acceptable but that wasn't the case in many parts of our society, thirty years ago. Acceptance is slowly spreading but unconsidered prejudices impeed this. Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who do not live introspective, positive lives.
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Carissa says:Posted: 28 Jul 07
It's still a big taboo in some parts of the country. You will get mean mugged so badly in my area. I agree with Mossimo, though, the black/white divide will take MUCH longer to heal. I hope it will in my lifetime.
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RayneDelay says:Posted: 28 Jul 07
This country is not a melting pot. More like a bunch of segregated nuts!
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mossimo says:Posted: 27 Jul 07
I think America is still ahead of much of the world in terms of diversity and interracial dating. Seems the back/white divide will just take longer to conquer in this country than in say Europe or Africa. My two cents....your mileage may vary
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Submitted by: Karen, USA, 34
My Dating Coach really took the time to go through my profile thoroughly. First she viewed my pictures and gave me great feedback.
She read through the written portion of my profile, line by line, and gave direct feedback on how to add my personality to it.
My amazing consultant, even asked how my contacts where going and offered a few suggestions to increase my interactions with new men.
I took her advice and made the suggested adjustments.
I have received more contact from men, more views, and have started communicating with more people which was the whole point of joining the site in the first place.
The Coaching Service served as an incredible perk and has really enhanced my online dating experience. Thanks!
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Try being an interracial couple in Korea, India, Saudi Arabia. There are much worse places on the world than in the USA for interracial dating. There are better more open minded places as well. Trinidad might well be one of the most open, but that does not mean I wanna move there just so my relationship with my wife will be more accepted. Funny story, when my wife and I were on our honeymoon in her country of Zimbabwe, many black men would walk past us and whisper sexual comments in her language about her being with a white man. Sad indeed.