Is Your Relationship a Job or a Career?
Having a great relationship requires more than a 9-5!
We hear the statistics everywhere...50% of marriages end in divorce. What's going on with the other 50%? There are tons of resources available to get into a relationship, but very few to keeps us happy in them. What can we do avoid being another statistic? How can we treat our relationships like a "career choice" and not a "dead-end job"?
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It astonishes me to think about all the methods, devices, programs, games and websites that have been created (including this one), to get people together...everything from blind dating to speed dating. What do we have to strengthen those relationships, to keep them strong and growing? Now, I hope that no one said Dr. Phil. By the time you get to the "experts" there's already a problem in the relationship.
As I see it, too many of us are treating our relationships like our jobs, instead of like a career "choice". Think about it; we look in the paper, do a search on-line or hear about a "prospect" from a friend. We fix up our resumes/ourselves, to look a certain way to get the attention of the "prospect" and we put it out there. Then we wait!
Now, some of us only go after one "prospect". Others put out multiple fielders to increase our chances of finding the "right one". Then, there's the first meeting. We put on our best clothes, face and behavior hoping to make a lasting impression. We're just trying to get our foot in the door.
Bingo, we're in! Now what? After the initial honeymoon stage, our appearance goes from putting our best foot forward to thinking out loud, "shoot, they better be happy I'm wearing shoes"!
We start living paycheck to paycheck, day to day, and just waiting for the next "big or best thing" to come along. Forgetting the reason why we took on the responsibility in the first place. You know people that go from job to job, relationship to relationship? Or people that stay at a job/with someone, that (they obviously don't enjoy), for so long, because it's easier than looking for something else?
How should it be? Well, in Leticia's utopia, we still find the "prospect" the same way, by referrals, research and dumb luck. However, we must do our homework our due diligence. We put all the effort at the front end (to get in the door) and at the back end (to get out). Wrong! We do very little in the middle. Much like we would do with our career (that we love), we must take refresher courses, invest in the latest technology to continue to stimulate our minds, bodies and spirits. Most importantly, we must continue to communicate.
At work, there are daily memos and progress reports to tell us about our challenging areas and things that need improvement. We get incentives and bonuses. Not just "annual reviews".
What do you think about yearly relationship evaluations and self evaluations? This could be a way of keeping track of our goals and aspirations individually and as a couple. Even though men and women are from the same planet, we do think and process things differently. We need to keep talk, talk, talk to each other and also, don't forget to shut up and really listen too!
Perhaps the problem with relationships today is that too many of us are treating them like jobs that we work instead of businesses that we own??!!
This is Leticia...gotta go to work...I love my job!
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Responses to "Is Your Relationship a Job or a Career?"
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Candy40dd says:Posted: 04 Nov 06WoW, relationships being compared to jobs!! Relationships might feel like your doing over 40 hours at times, but it makes sense.. We work extra hard at what we want in life, so why not put at much time in effort as if it was work?? This might help out alot of broken relationships.
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Kimmee says:Posted: 02 Nov 06Its true - we put so much effort and energy into school, work and even play. However, we expect relationships to automatically work out without any effort or time. Another insightful article.
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nicefella115 says:Posted: 01 Nov 06if you really think about it, it is work.
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unme23 says:Posted: 01 Nov 06know matter what you do in this world know a days is work!!!!
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Sweetheart says:Posted: 01 Nov 06a relationship really isnt work for me. It's more like an extra activity that I love to do because if its something I like doing I will put time in it.
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maishagal says:Posted: 31 Oct 06makes ya think bout what you bring to the relationship with others
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iceburger says:Posted: 31 Oct 06Unlike work, relationship is made even more hard due to the fact that it requires two people to make it work, not one as in work
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Superdiva says:Posted: 30 Oct 06great article relationships not hard peoplemake it hard.
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JADE74 says:Posted: 27 Oct 06Relationships are work.Work is required on both parties to make it work and that's daily.Very good article and comparation to our jobs and careers...
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urmydestiny says:Posted: 27 Oct 06
If your relationship becomes a job it's time to leave.
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yoby says:Posted: 26 Oct 06i guess after hard working all day nobody wants to work MORE on this! it should be more a little bit like spontaneous!
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Charmaine says:Posted: 26 Oct 06I never looked at a relationship as being a career. However, most of us want and enjoy instant gratification without the hassle of long term commitment.
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notshytc says:Posted: 26 Oct 06Its alaways about comprimise..give and take...and sitting back and listening. You cant put a time on "When You'll Know".
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Nikki says:Posted: 25 Oct 06
Let me say this ANOTHER WAY! I absolutely LOVE what I do for a living. It is "fun" "exciting" and "Stimulting". I've been known to do it for very little money, because of my love for it! However, just like my relationship...it's NOT like that EVERY moment of EVERY day. NO relationship is. That seems to be the problem with alot of us these days...we keep looking to be "constantly" entertained and stimulated! When we're NOT, we think something is wrong and instead of putting in the "WORK" to make it better...we're looking for a quick fix or another fix altogether. Tell me, when did "work" become a dirty word?
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Carla says:Posted: 24 Oct 06
it should come natural...not something that should have to be felt of as a career or a job or work...relationships should be fun...exciting and stimulating...
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Segue007 says:Posted: 22 Oct 06"On a second note, people really mess up relationships. There is no need to start a relationship from a very high level. This shall eventually go down, and its a sure way of killing it. Its better to start one from a low level, and push it upwards. Thats how to build a relationship. Posted by iceburger" I have to agree with Iceburger for the most part. Where I differ is as you get older and more knowledgeable in relationships there should be a foundation that you bring to each new relationship. Therefore, you shouldn't have to start out low in every relationship.
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Kara says:Posted: 22 Oct 06I prefer to think of the "work" done toward building the relationship as "care" or "nurturing" of the relationship. You put time and energy into caring for the relationship and making it grow because you value it and you want it to be the best it can be. It's not drudgery unless you view it as such!
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lizzy2005 says:Posted: 22 Oct 06Relation ships should always be 50/50. Each partner should respect and cherish the other.
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Segue007 says:Posted: 22 Oct 06
I read the article again and still enjoyed it as much as I did the first time.
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Fala says:Posted: 22 Oct 06
This was funny. Reminded me of a lot of my relationships. Probably why I'm here now. LOL
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Natural72 says:Posted: 22 Oct 06
Well I think a relationship takes effort. You have to jump throught certain hoops, market yourself, put your best foot forward, compromise, and communicate. Like alot of things you get out of it what you put into it. We are much more likely to put more effort into a career (relationship) than just a job (dating). So really it's up to you and the company (other person)--are you both looking to start a job or maintain a career?
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justknowingu says:Posted: 21 Oct 06
things should come naturally---you can feel the electricity and sense the anticipation!!
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Majesticone says:Posted: 21 Oct 06
I have never looked at relationships like they are a job or a career choice but finding someone that wants to be part of my life has been. i know in relationship you have do what you can to keep it going and that requires a daily action. lets face it, you can not take a holiday from your relationship or it might not be there when you return. you can take a break but never a permanent holiday because its never up to any one person in the relationship to keep it going, it always takes 2. lately i noticed that people view relationships in a very negative way because we have become and "instant" society. we want it now and we are not willing to invest the time to get the reward. i have been on here for 2 years and have not met anyone who is willing to work for it and for some its just "fun" like you play a board game and when your done your put it away. so i decided to stop looking all together its just not in the cards for me right now and im not going to continue beating the dead horse. but i thank yall for this site because i have chatted with interesting ppl and it has definately worked for some.
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kenyanito says:Posted: 21 Oct 06Relationships need 100% commitment from all parties concerned. Otherwise it will be deemed very partial.
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iceburger says:Posted: 21 Oct 06
On a second note, people really mess up relationships. There is no need to start a relationship from a very high level. This shall eventually go down, and its a sure way of killing it. Its better to start one from a low level, and push it upwards. Thats how to build a relationship.
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whytb0y says:Posted: 21 Oct 06the problem is they need some jesus in their life , people these days have no respect for others or them self so how can you have a healthy relationship .
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sweetest1 says:Posted: 21 Oct 06Love is work and noone can tell me different--there is play involved but there are good and bad times.
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nikki says:Posted: 21 Oct 06
Relationships require more than just LOVE...it requires time, energy, tolerance, effort, committment and so much more...if that's NOT work I don't know what is. AND...we get less tired from work that WE enjoy & love to do! It may be work but if done right...it doesn't seem that way.
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Euroecuboy says:Posted: 20 Oct 06love should NOT be work. if it is work it is going to end. we get tired from work, do we not?
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segue007 says:Posted: 20 Oct 06
This article made me do some thinking about how I view a relationship. I will try to approach my relationships as a career and not a job. Funny, most people will put more energy into their career than a relationship. I know I’m guilty of this.
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ebonybeautyj says:Posted: 19 Oct 06
I should be a career a long term thing....
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Coco says:Posted: 19 Oct 06
My regular job is hard enough....working hard on a dead end relationship? AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN!
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babymeat says:Posted: 19 Oct 06
very interesting article, something to ponder on!!!
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RayneDelay says:Posted: 19 Oct 06
Nice article but I may give the whole thing up and become a horse jockey.
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EMBRACEME says:Posted: 18 Oct 06
THIS ARTICLE REALLY TOUCHED ME.. I WAS INVOLVED IN A REALTIONSHIP ONCE THAT I FELT IT WAS MORE LIKE BUSSINESS THEN PLEASURE.. ONE THING I CAN SAY IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND YOUR REALTIONSHIP AND YOU TREAT IT AS A HAVE TO CASE.. THEN IT WILL MAKE YOU BECOME BITTER TOWARDS YOUR MATE.. DO THINGS BECAUSE YOU LOVE THEM AND WANT THEM NOT BECAUSE YOU FEEL YOU HAVE TO.. ALL WILL LOSE IN THE END...
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aantonio says:Posted: 18 Oct 06
Yes some relationship require work. HOwever relationships should be 100/100 not 50/50. alot of people dont seem to realize that, n that one of the reasons why relationship/marriages fail. If you are a more career oriented person, you should meet someone who is the same way, cause you and that person can see things in a better light, than a career person being with somebody that is more for the relationship. HOwever, one of the keys to a successful relationship is to know how to balance love and finance. Also dont go by what the media says u should u , mainly follow your heart, mind and sould. be a leader not a follower.
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iceburger says:Posted: 18 Oct 06
Great article, but I think waiting till after one year to do evaluations can be too late. One day in a relationship is a very long period.
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I agree...If I gotta work this hard it had better be more playing than working!