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Home alone...are you becoming a growing statistic?

Posted by Leticia, 14 Aug

Does it strike you as ironic that the more advanced we become by the way of technology, the further away we get with each other? I mean, why go to the store and buy stationary and a stamp, come back home, write a letter then wait for the postman to come to your house and pick it up to deliver it, when we can just sit at home and send an email and touch no one and nothing other than our computers?

Recently, CNN did a report on loneliness in America. It talked about the irony of the fact that we have never had more people, almost 300 million, but we've also never had as many one person households, around 27 million. It seems that we aren't connecting with each other because it's easier not to. There has even been studies conducted that show that we don't even have the same quantity or quality of friendships that we use to. Think about it, how many times have you turned down an invitation to go catch a movie and have dinner and opted for cable and take out...alone? Instead of going to spend that "quality" time with a friend for their birthday, we send e-cards and e-mails, faxes and instant messages saying "happy birthday...enjoy your day". We even use caller ID as a way to avoid those friends that call to remind us that we haven't been out in a while.

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It really shouldn't be a surprise why we are the way we are; Disconnected, unattached, and inpatient. Not to mention not very understanding or tolerable about people or things that are different. It's no wonder we haven't really moved any further along in race relations because we aren't moving along period. How do we truly live up to our title of being the "melting pot", when we can't even get everyone into the kitchen...let alone the pot?

Loneliness use to be something we associated with the elderly. Not anymore. Our children are lonely because their parents have to work more to keep up with the Jones'. Our teens are lonely because they have spent more hours at home on their own computers, watching cable TV or playing video games instead of outside making friends and learning to get along with others. Then when they make friends in high school, these are the same ones that they stay in their dorm rooms at college to IM and chat with on line, instead of going out on campus to meet and make new friends.

As I say and write this I do realize that there again lies some irony and contradiction in what I say. The internet is a wonderful ‘tool' to get to meet more people in a short period of time. However, it should never take the place of that one on one, face time. As humans, we long for and need to be touched...literally. There is no substitute for that. It seems to me that if we spent a little more time and effort getting to know people ourselves, instead of relying on the media to define a group, race or nationality of people, we could better judge and form our own opinions about who we want in our lives. How comfortable would you be if the only representation of your race came from TV characters, like, Archie Bunker, George Jefferson, or Cheech and Chong? Would these images really make you want to run out of your house and meet someone of a different race?

I mention television because more than any other media, it makes us think that we are connected with the outside world when we really aren't. We sit in our houses alone and see the celebrities living these lifestyles that we can't compete with, so we don't even try. Do you realize that loneliness can increase your risk of heart disease and depression?

Do this for me, get off the computer right now and pick up the telephone or walk out of your house and talk and touch someone today. If you have to stay on the computer than email someone and make plans to get together this week.

This is Leticia...are you still here?

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Responses to "Home alone...are you becoming a growing statistic?"

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  1.   ashley says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 06

    everyone is more gadget friendly... anyone else know someone who can text on their cell phone and drive at the same time??? its scary really if you like about it....

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  2.   vanessa says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 06

    When my last husband died I though my whole world ended. I've been married more than one time and they all was till death do you part. I decided to get into my own business and it helps but doesn't take anyone of their places. Loneliness is a killer, its hard and no one should have to go through it but you will so I hope I find Mr Right not perfect but loving and caring .

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  3.   justknowingu says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 06

    again..I agree with others--all things in moderation--and you have to get out from time to time and mingle...

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  4.   maria says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 06

    Loneliness can kill. one must try very hard not to alow loneliness to be a part of his/her life

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  5.   urmydestiny says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 06

    Thank god for the chatroom, it allows me to find friends from other parts of the world. I say yes to tv and yes to computers. All I know is if they were taken away from me then I really would be lonely.

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  6.   milkshaka says:
    Posted: 07 Sep 06

    being alone has its pluses

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  7.   Fala says:
    Posted: 06 Sep 06

    God, I hope that's now what I have to look forward to.

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  8.   Ann says:
    Posted: 06 Sep 06

    I'd really be lonely if I didn't have my cyber friends.

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  9.   Charmaine says:
    Posted: 06 Sep 06

    I am from Trinidad and have never truly experienced loneliness until I began living in the US. In Trinidad there is always a family or a neighbor who you can share time or a meal with. Although there are so many people living in the US, communication is mainly via computers, telephones etc and hardly ever on a face to face basis.

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  10.   BABYMEAT says:
    Posted: 06 Sep 06

    I START TO FEELING LONELY NOW THAT THE SUMMER IS OVA, CAUSE THERE IS LESS GOING ON!!

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  11.   cnoter says:
    Posted: 06 Sep 06

    I might be busy being busy.But My personal life is very personal.So if I chose to be alone ,it's my choice.FREEDOM OF CHOICE.I'm free in a free nation.Besides God is always with me..so I'm never really alone.Sometimes not being around people means drama free too.And I'm free to change my mind.But if ya really think about it.Did'nt God say "man should not be alone".Well who's the Great deceiver and robber of your time.The great counterfit.HHMMMM.

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  12.   Kalilah says:
    Posted: 05 Sep 06

    I think we have become so busy in society that these things have become the norm. As long as you keep a healthy perspective on everything, I don't see a problem.

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  13.   auroraxxx says:
    Posted: 05 Sep 06

    am I becoming a growing statistic? Well I do try to maintain my weight eheheh...well i may get off the computer....tomorrow....maybe....lol :)

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  14.   Marquez097 says:
    Posted: 05 Sep 06

    society places so much pressure on us to use technology. its thrown in our faces 24/7. if society would put less emphasis on the need to be cool and have all these things then people would probably not care about them so much and go back to being active humans and striving to attain something other than a indentation in a sofa or computer chair.

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  15.   TrueHarmony says:
    Posted: 05 Sep 06

    This was quite interesting and definitely proved to be something to think about!

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  16.   texasgirl3 says:
    Posted: 04 Sep 06

    It is funny how 100 people can be in the same room can be talking and they aren't talking to anyone in the room. I guess that is the way our world is going!!!

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  17.   romeoluvs says:
    Posted: 04 Sep 06

    sad story... side effects of technology, what else can you say ?

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  18.   Tony says:
    Posted: 04 Sep 06

    Certainly something to think about. Thanks.

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  19.   Todd77 says:
    Posted: 04 Sep 06

    Go out of your way to help someone, smile and say Hello to people you dont know,,you will find you get back what you give..God Bless Us All....Todd

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  20.   WonHotMama says:
    Posted: 03 Sep 06

    It's interesting how 20+ years ago, in order to contact someone, we had very few choices. We didn't have e-mail, PDAs, 2-ways, cell phones (that fit in our pocket & didn't weigh 100 Lbs), or any other speedy means to reach a friend. We had rotary phones & the good ol' post office. Today's technology has made us lazy. We've somehow lost our ability to reach out and truly touch someone. Back in the day, if you were a couch potato, you were considered a joke. Now, it seems that everyone is "sitting on the bench". Our childhood friends are no longer next door; they're several states away. Sending messages via the post office is no longer an option; we need our responses now. It's because of this fast-paced lifestyle that we find ourselves, more often than not, sitting at home... alone. So, the next time you say to yourself, "I'm so lonely", you might want to ask yourself, "Who's fault is that?". Get off your rump... say hi to a stranger. Do something... just GET OUT OF THE HOUSE! :)

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  21.   nehuskerfan says:
    Posted: 03 Sep 06

    It is all about keeping a healthy balance in our lives.

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  22.   mossimo36 says:
    Posted: 02 Sep 06

    Funny I was thinking about this some time ago. About spending hours chatting with friends but have no personal one on one contact. Been trying to chat less and phone or hang out more...

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  23.   jimmirix says:
    Posted: 02 Sep 06

    True, we are not going out... but can we afford it???

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  24.   bohica3212 says:
    Posted: 02 Sep 06

    Isn't this the new way of socializing?

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  25.   sweetheart says:
    Posted: 01 Sep 06

    I love the internet and chat rooms, but I still hang with my friends.

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  26.   ebonybeautyj says:
    Posted: 01 Sep 06

    Nice to know I am not alone!!

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  27.   babymeat says:
    Posted: 01 Sep 06

    thank god for chat rooms, or i really would be going out of my mind!!

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  28.   Sandy says:
    Posted: 01 Sep 06

    I feel lonely right now. I recently started dating someone who just doesn't pay enough attention to me. I feel lonely most of the time lately.

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  29.   Ann says:
    Posted: 01 Sep 06

    I realized that I was getting to be a loner, working at home, visiting very litle and going only to church. Lately I've started a new business where I see more people every week and getting ready to go work on a new degree. Wow, do I feel better!! A new lease on life!!

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  30.   sweetest1 says:
    Posted: 31 Aug 06

    I agree that people don't get out as much as they used to... but considering gas prices, the recession we are in, and trying to exist on a single income which is virtually impossible... going out often is just not feasible. Being a single mom and losing my job cut into my social life tremendously so home is where I have to be... not because I'm not willing to be!!

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  31.   BABYMEAT says:
    Posted: 31 Aug 06

    i know i feeling lonely. now that the summer is over and falls rolls on in, i find myself more needy.

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  32.   jckappa says:
    Posted: 31 Aug 06

    All things in moderation.

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  33.   lovejonez says:
    Posted: 31 Aug 06

    Being alone is good, since that grows independence. Nowadays there are so many people co-dependently jumping from one relationship to another, without really taking time to know oneself and getting comfortable with oneself. They just try to live their lives thru someone else and that just doesn't work in the long run and they can't be happy, until they realize this.

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  34.   Dora says:
    Posted: 31 Aug 06

    I thank God for my children. They keep me so busy, that I don't have much time for lonely.

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  35.   kenyanito says:
    Posted: 30 Aug 06

    Yeah, i almost broke down due to loneliness but that has changed. I go dancing till morning or watch football matches with my friends. That doesn't mean that some friends shoudn't be ignored. kenya

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  36.   justknowingu says:
    Posted: 29 Aug 06

    we are a more "informed" society than ever before--the most recent news and pictures are right at our computer screen, the media sensationalizes the news, sports, weather, wars, etc...in many ways technology and its newness has brought us closer to other cultures and countries--but not our families!!

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  37.   LAKERLUVA says:
    Posted: 29 Aug 06

    I AGREE W/ WHAT jckappa SAID. U HAVE TO GET OUT & MEET PEOPLE.

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  38.   whytb0y says:
    Posted: 29 Aug 06

    i think there are so many reasons why folks are lonely but for myself i do not understand it i know i want somebody special but i like being home . as for tv i own a 56 inch big screen but hardly watch it i often wonder why i even purchased it in the first place.

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  39.   domlatrel says:
    Posted: 29 Aug 06

    Sometimes being alone is not so bad. I rather be alone than be miserable. I found this website when I was bored. That's not bad.

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  40.   diva says:
    Posted: 29 Aug 06

    technology supposedly is helping us out but at the same time it's hurting us. It seems as if someday every single thing we do will be able to be handled by a computer. now that is kinda scary.

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  41.   Inducive says:
    Posted: 28 Aug 06

    there are good points and bad points to being alone. I don't like to take sides since I can be a bit indecisive. Good or bad, do what makes you feel good.

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  42.   jckappa says:
    Posted: 28 Aug 06

    Fate doesn't happen when you aren't out to let it happen. Unless you trying to hook up with the mailman.

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  43.   misslady1970 says:
    Posted: 28 Aug 06

    YES I FEEL IT'S HUMAN NATURE TO GET AND FEEL LONELY AT TIMES. ONE CAN TAKE SO MUCH REJECTION, THAT IT MAKES THEM FEEL EVEN LONLIER...SO THEREFORE THEY TEND TO STAY MORE TO THEMSELVES....

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  44.   Carla says:
    Posted: 28 Aug 06

    I can relate to that majestic......what happened that people dont care about knowing someone from the inside out......too much emphasis put on looks etc and not the person in general...

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  45.   Majestic says:
    Posted: 27 Aug 06

    Ditto to Generic1977. I am told that im pretty, fun, smart, witty, loving, etc.. but how come I can not find someone compatible? I am not looking for perfection but I would like to be attracted to the dude and have him attracted to me.. so I tend to stay home more because I am tired of the rejection.

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  46.   arnisca says:
    Posted: 27 Aug 06

    I agree technology does make it easier to be alone. I know that I watch to much tv but it's easier than dealing with stupid people.

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  47.   jckappa says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 06

    You don't go out Leticia? I'm think I'm going to have to be more critical of your advice in the future! :P

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  48.   euroecuboy says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 06

    That is why I cut off my cable, and only watch TV when I rent a movie or something. Same reason I only send emails to people out of state/country. I force myself not to rely on the technology and trust me it isnt easy.

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  49.   Carla says:
    Posted: 26 Aug 06

    I do sometimes feel lonely and isolated but having 2 children I am content to be at home with them...that is one of the reasons I enjoy online dating sites...gives me the opportunity to set at home..with my children and enjoy chatting with people that I would not ordinarily have the opportunity to meet otherwise........

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  50.   Bob says:
    Posted: 23 Aug 06

    Ya I sometimes feel lonely, but then I go to the chat rooms...that never fails lol

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