Black women have no option?
Warning: This post may be offensive to some readers. This is not the objective. The post is in no way meant to defame or inflame any parties, groups or persons. It is simply meant to find out what people think about black white dating.
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In a bid to explain why Black women get upset about Black men dating White women, Chris Rock in his latest stand up comedy says all Black men have done is exercised their option. He goes on to say Black women are angry because they are not attracted to white men so they can’t exercise their option. All they can do is sleep with “pretty white boys" but generally, black women are not attracted to white men.
In my opinion, the above statements suggest Black women only date interracially out of desperation. In fact, most Black men believe so. And the finger pointing between Black men and Black women never ends. I don't think this is the case though and frankly, I have never understood why Black men and Black women have to come up with such crude and prejudiced remarks while trying to figure out the reasoning behind their counterparts' dating options. YES! Options.
What do you think of Chris Rock's theory?
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636 responses to "Black women have no option?"
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MsZ17 says:Posted: 10 Jul 09Chris Rock doesn't speak for me and he sure can't speak for ALL black women. I certainly don't get upset seeing black males and white females - I could care less. I'm sure some black women do just as some black men get upset seeing white males and black females together. So what? What does this prove, anyway? Since when did he become a source of information for black female's dating preferences? No woman is "desperate". That was really a stupid thinbg to say and I can't believe I'm even commenting on it. I date interacially becasue I am attracted to different men, not because of desperation! Honestly, I happen to find Asian men the HOTTEST men around! Whenever you say "interracial", we in this country only think Black/White. That's old news for me. The white media wants us to think no other men are attracted to black women but that is a BIG lie! Black women are desireable and are not desperate. Besides, I've never liked Chris Rock. He's too profane!
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Dee says:Posted: 08 Jul 09
Why do black men frequently marry white woman? I've noticed many black professional athletes, entertainers, doctors, and lawyers have white wives. Why is that? Is there a shortage of black women? Do affluent black men see marrying a white woman as a status symbol? How does it make black women feel to be subordinated this way? I see this all the time and I don’t understand. Self-hatred IS THE MAIN caused by the white media's negative portrayal of blackness. Emasculation caused by living as a Black man in this society, but not being allowed to truly be a man. Only the confused Black men do this. The smart, educated, self-loving, self-respecting Black men don't do this. Of course, true love is an exception but its rare, most do so for various reasons but not for love. Black women have become stronger than Black men. They have to be, because they have become the sole protectors and providers of the family, and have to deal with negativity from everyone. Black women move up the corporate ladder faster, more Black women attend and graduate College than Black men, and Black women succeed more professionally than Black men. Somewhere around 72% of Black men under 30 who dropped out of high school have been to jail, and they are 7 times more likely to be convicted of a crime that a white man also committed. The media paints a cheerful picture, but statistics don't lie. Black men, because they aren't free to be men here in America, or in other Western dominant places where they are persecuted and oppressed and have to change themselves to be accepted. They do not like strong Black women, because it makes them feel EVEN LESS of a man than they already feel. Because he feels insecure he will bash and berate Black women tell lies and even take her down. The aggressive hip hop, the crime, sexual promiscuity, gang-banging, the over-sized clothes, all this is done in vain to make them FEEL like more of a man than they are treated. They say Black women have attitudes, which some do, but most do not. Black women are just not very tolerant of bad behavior and call these men out on their B.S. While white women sometimes have "attitudes" too, they are regular people, but white women are believed to be less challenging to a man's masculinity. Black women who are in the know just look on in disbelief. But Black women who don't know what is at the root of this don't know what to think. They just think that maybe this is America becoming a melting pot. It is, but there is more to the story. If you want to know more check out this book list at amazon.com . Pay attention to the book called "The Color Complex". Just know this for sure: the legacy of slavery and persecution and segregation and poverty has left many Black people with an intense self-hatred especially in the United States. Africans have some issues as well, but they tend to stay together. They marry each other, and do not usually date white women or men. They have more of a sense of culture, pride and accomplishment. U.S. Blacks do not really have a strong sense of culture or identity, because a lot of them do not even know where they come from in Africa, many do not even want to know because they believe Africa is an inferior place. How much of a sense of pride or identity can you feel when you're of African descent and your first name is Tanisha or Keshia (nice first names) and your last name is Ferguson or O'Donnell or Rothschild. The unique first names are an attempt to fill the void. This is one thing you should know for sure, its all a dirty secret among Black people. Black men will never admit they treat Black women poorly, disrespect them collectively. but ths should be obvious to you if you just observe and listen. Hope this helps!
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Member says:Posted: 08 Jul 09
Dear Azrazyel I admire you for being able to "avoid" the "loose booty" types. They throw tantrums and blame the world for their dating woes. I plan to write about the different type of black women to avoid or only use for sex. Due to my work schedule I have to find time to write my essay on it. Obviously "the one" that is the room is still throwing derogatory statements about white men. I will continue this further I am watching the first 48 hours.
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 07 Jul 09I appreciate your sentiments tatted. I'm just trying to reach a good conclusion for myself, that maybe it isn't that bad as I perceive it to be. Is it foolishness upon my self???....quite possibly. I'm just seeking advice from someone that's levelheaded....and maybe someone who has (well obviously) experience in dealing with the hardships and the (I'm sure) many positives and wonderful things that happen in IR dating. There are two basic sides to me right now: 1. (The Angel) - "Hey, if a black woman really has interest in a white man, you should really pay closer attention and not assume everything as void and unrealistic." 2. (The Devil) - "Na man, all black women are using white men to get back at black men for dating out. They don't really love you, they just want payback." LMAO....that's what I'm battling right now. Honestly, that's what I feel. I want to believe the angel ('cos I hate the devil...lol) because a lot of the turmoil I see here, well....it's just here. Doesn't mean everywhere. I get that. As I've stated before, I want to find me a wonderful black woman. Someone ...ahhh nevermind....just read my profile...lol. I'm guessing for someone (me) who has NEVER dated out, I mean Hell, no one in my immediate family, relatives or friends has ever done that....I plan to change it (I will say my brother is married to a Hispanic woman) . It's all a learning process for me, I have no problem finding a white woman, but since (1 year) I decided that love isn't just within my race, and beauty comes in black women also, not just looks, but personality matters most. That is what I am attracted too, Black and Latino women more than any other at this time. It's all an extravaganza of cycling-recycling distortions of normal and paranormal and unusually abnormal thought patterns. I hope to get it all resolved soon, so I can move forth with my feelings and pursue what I seek and desire.
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tatted2death says:Posted: 07 Jul 09...and of course, L.Queens follows with some more nonsense like he knows me..... I am not attacking anyone....I just find all this shyte rather amusing is all. All the going on about me having a "loose booty" and the "well wishes"......LMAO. All these cartoon characters in here......LMAO (and "COOL WORLD", this ain't)..... ....and "PITY-PARTY"????...REALLY, now??? You know that is an interesting term considering that you have basically turned this whole blog into yours. Just because some sorry black woman did a tap-dance number on your heart and/or told you you were NOT AS GOOD AS WHITE MAN (or some other nonsense) you are in here raising cain like every black woman has done it to you. You don't see me in here complaining about anyone thinking less of me. While it is totally backwards to bash someone you were once with to anyone, I don't think everyone in here should be held accountable for what one (or even 1000) black women said and/or did to you. It is utterly pathetic......AND no, I won't shut up about it....dayummit. NOT when you are in here spouting trash and certain others are believing it. I HAVE NEVER BASHED A BLACK MAN because it is counter productive in soooo many ways......(like I have said before, "you hurt me....you hurt YOURSELF"....I believe that goes both ways). And just because I am not in here kissing anyone's ass it get's twisted that I am attacking someone. I will repeat (for those that are proving to be illiterate)....I am allergic to B.S......PERIOD. And EVERYONE is capable of spitting a little from time to time. I just have to call it like I see it. My distaste for someone's tactics should not be miscontrued as me hating/bashing the person or his "race".....GEESH, anyone that can't fathom that....OH WELL. I need no one's pity.....but don't mistake my compassion for anything other that just that either. Being positive does NOT make you a PUNK/PUSSY.....sorry, maybe you have never been truly exposed to an example of that in your "real" life. BUT I am here and I am not going anywhere because of a few bad apples rollin around the barrel. And hey if you want to take that as a negative I will say to you "Actually some bad apples can make good apple sauce"....... You keep making reference on how you would "handle" me.....LMAO (wow how does it feel to be a walk stereotype????) The fact that sex has to be some sort of "tactic" for you speaks LOUDER than anything you could ever pretend to know about my character... And hey Legion/Az.....I feel your pain (if you are being sincere). I am sure there are better places than this to "learn" all that you need to...(google is a wonderful thing...not being funny, either). This place actually used to be a cool place to get some unbiased advice. But you must understand that some of us here have been around for awhile and have watched the "characters" come and go. They "attack" and move on....But this new one....OMG....he is "special"....lol. Sorry to hear that you will let the exchange here taint your judgement of ALL black people (kind of ridiculous...but OH WELL....I guess L. Queens job is done where you are concerned). But understanding is a two-way street and rare finds are just that "rare" (if you are truly looking you should not give up over what you have seen on ONE blog). Now if you actually already formulated your opinion and were just coming here to confirm certain things then YOU were already "tainted" to begin with and NO ONE here would have been able to reach you......(not "trying to harsh" only stating how I see this). It is excellent that you say you would not debate a white woman if she chose to date IR.....but as you she this is not the case here. The women here MUST defend their right to love who they wish......SAD BUT TRUE. Sorry that you had to come to that revelation this. But just know this.....IT DOES NOT EXIST EVERYWHERE. Yeah, I had the option to let this character run amuck on these boards but I chose not to...because I see this for what it is......and AM NOT AFRAID.(most "victims" are though, you know). Anywho.....peace onto you and all that you do.... tatted2death
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tatted2death says:Posted: 07 Jul 09
LMAO....I'm sorry I just read the "balls of Kryptonite" comment......That is hilarious....TRULY!!! (mind if I use it, Legion/Az???) Hopefully the man that found himself as my "superman" would NOT have those sort of balls....might cause problems in the bedroom....LOL.
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Member says:Posted: 07 Jul 09
I just read the pity party that Tattooed one did. I don't know how she even makes herself the victim in all this. First you made it seem like the guy wanted you. He set the record straight and your mad because he made it public. Your fragile ego couldn't take it. You are still attacking the poor guy like he committed a major sin. He would have been better if he took up your "booty" cal' and then stopped calling you after using for sex. That is the main problem with black women. They focus on if they can make a man penis hard. Instead of admiring the man 'for being honest" with them. I admire Legion for being "honest". There is many men that fuck a black woman and dump her ass. That happens more often than a man saying "you know what" I can't fake being interested in you. Tattooed one should be an example to all sellout black women. When men try to do the "right" thing stop knocking them. If Legion had sex with your chubby ass and "made some excuse" of not keep in contact with you. You would be okay with that. You wouldn't hear a peep out of her ass. Then she rambles on about a "journey of pain". Stop being a drama queen. I don't have no sympathy for sellout black women. Yall use to brush off white men. Now your getting a taste of your own medicine. Personally if I was Legion I would have spanked your loose booty and kept it moving after. I have less compassion than the average man. Look for my new blog entry (Domain Sellout Pain 2.0) "You won't go far" http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/ Good day
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 07 Jul 09
Okay: It is apparent to me that I will not get any good advice from anyone in here. I have made that judgment for myself. I try and reach out to any black man or woman, white too (although I already know they won't engage in this turmoil). Ichibod has some good points, I take some to keep and throw the others away. Same with peanut. But my point is always proven, you two bashing each other once more. Now I am not lashing out at anyone, I am just frustrated to HELL that I cannot decipher good advice from the bad without trash talking each other. I would not get into any debate with a white woman, I feel everyone has the right to love whomever, white, black, latino, asian, gay, lesbian, whatever. I try and act appropriate and not cause harm along the way. But when I truly and desperately need help from a black man or woman, it all leads into a cynical cycle of depravity. Unending hurt and inflictions I constantly see between black people. Is it possible, even for one millisecond to live in peace and harmony with each other without the need to defame one another? Again, I don't mean to come off harsh, I'm just showing my frustration when a man (who has never dated out before) really needs attentive help.....good grief.
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tatted2death says:Posted: 07 Jul 09
And to set the record FOREVER STRAIGHT.....just because someone is not actively seeking romantic LOVE does not mean that they are "booty-calling" or out here just to bash men or whatever other nonsense you could conjure up. SECURE, RESPECTFUL, BALANCED human beings don't need to really "search" for love. Even though it is cliche......love can and WILL find you if you are open to it.....PERIOD. Those that have made up there minds to be DISRESPECTFUL, INSECURE, and/or BIASED will continue to wallow in their own misery and pretend with everyone else that they are about "truth". They will never cease to try and bring others along on this "journey of pain" (whether they realize it or not). I, personally, don't believe any ONE human being can be completely evil (hey, I am a weird one that can even be friends with a "Satanist"....lol), but at the end of the day it is all about looking yourself in the mirror. If you can unabashedly do that and be happy with what you see (and ALSO know that there is more to you than that), then good for you. But if not, I hope that some peace finds you....in whatever form it needs to come. To World Citizen.......you mentioned me being "abused" here. Funny thing, I really didn't feel it. Either the attempts are weak or I am just immune. Either way, I KNOW what my focus is here....and that is all that really matters to me. I wish others could be open-minded and open-hearted, but I know I have no control over that. I understand that some must feel a sense of power in here and like to "work the strings".....and that is fine....because I know ANY and ALL of those that I am meant to communicate (on a positive level) with won't allow themselves to be manipulated into a corner before they even step through the door here. Those that see themselves as "king/QUEEN" of a place that can be the home for all sort of deception and lies do nothing but tell on themselves time and time again. Them and people like them only limit THEIR world....that's abuse alright....SELF-ABUSE. I understand and am at peace with that. Those that cannot believe that someone can have pure intentions again only tell on themselves.....I actually LOVE that.....keeps things simple. To Godiva.....(singing) "I was born in a cross-fire hurricane"......lol. Again I will say, SECURE people can find love (without being afraid of compromising their sexuality...lol). Romantic love is just one kind of love and finding it is alot more complicated. Some of the characters that try and find it online amaze me with the kinds of games they are willing to play. That is why I tend to be leery of it......NEVER said I was not open....but I know YOU understand where I am coming from there...lol. Peace and Blessings to ALL tatted2death
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tatted2death says:Posted: 07 Jul 09
First of all, Legion, dear man......I have moved on....but you just "innocently" mentioning a NON-ROMANTIC flirt had it's part in the madness as well....lol. I mean there is no hard feelings but honestly did you think L. Queens was going to ignore that???? To claim to not know that "this would be such a big issue" is kinda naive, don't ya think??? Trust and believe I am NOT "blown up"(lol) over your "reject"...it is this character's predictable response that is causing this not to DIE A QUIET DEATH. Whilst I understand what you are saying on one level (past the point of caring "why"...seeing as I KNOW the nature of why I sent you the flirt in the first place), I don't really need any well wishes on "what I am looking for" because I basically have a continual source of that (dialogue on interesting/meaningful subject matter with like-minded people) here. But the fact that you are on the same page with alot of what L. Queens is blathering about helps me understand alot more about you and what you are here for. But THANKS nonetheless......PEACE ONTO YOU. Anyway, you see that now I have been labeled as "not being interested in white men"......LMAO. I told you all I was next going to labeled a lesbian by L. Queens....this is only a step away from it...dayum. I told you he was running out of stuff and here he is actually trying twist my issue with Legion into something entirely different. Yup, when I made it clear that I did NOT want to "talk to" anyone that was "confused" or trying to "figure things out" when it came to dating IR, I probably excluded ALOT of white men but I STAND BY IT. There are plenty of people that date (or are "trying" to date) IR that do it for the WRONG reasons....black women, white men, white women, black men, etc....NO ONE IS IMMUNE. I know it's hard L. Queens, to try and find a crack in my intentions here....but you and I know I have not wavered an inch so please find another tune....it's starting to make YOU seem desperate. Your futile attempts at trying to "tanish my character" (online....LMAO) are just laughable, at best. To Ich....with all sincerity and respect, I just want to applaud you for continuing to try and keep a balanced outlook in here. I know it can be difficult and I really do appreciate it...Keep it up!!! Peace and Blessings tatted2death
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Peanut says:Posted: 07 Jul 09
Ichabod, As I stated in my earlier posts. I gathered my opinions from YEARs of observing bm with bw AND form observing their behavior with ww. “Does everything have to be spelled out. WHITES ARE PRIVILEDGED. BM are capitalizing on it.” How does this reflect MY self esteem? It reflects BMs self esteem, that's how you get things twisted. And if you need more empirical evidence of this just look at how many Bm are walking around with their kids and being fathers to them, THEN notice what color they are. 98 times out of a 100 those kids are bi-racial. From my pov that seems to indicate they don't really want to be there for their kids if they are chocolate and more willing to if they are not. That indicates a self-esteem issue with black men. And in my earlier posts if I mentioned wm that many times it's because most of the protesting was involving them and not "other" men. And you were trying to influence Az not to date bw. He doesn't need you to tell him how to think. You could see he was on the fence so you tried tipping him. And I'm certainly not going to discuss my dating history with you here. I don't care about yours.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 07 Jul 09Black women! You DO have plenty of options. To all men, you are the options they have to choose from. The most important thing is that we choose our options according to personal preference, yet with conscientious unbias. There is positive and negative with any choice we make in life. Please, choose wisely.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 07 Jul 09
Peanut, I'm not the word twister here. I re-read your post from months ago where you ask me where I got the whole thing about dating white men. Um, you said "elsewhere" once, "black women should move on once, and white man or 'wm' almost 30 times. And you honestly believe that the black man just 'lives' to antagnoize the black women? Are you serious...ly that gullible? You've never been with a black man, you don't know me, nor do you know every other black man in America or on the planet. That's why I said you sound like a Klan memeber before. You actually could bring yourself to say something like that... and mean it...say it's an 'ugly TRUTH'... where is your dad? The only time I, or many other black men respond in the manner in which you have seen me respond to you is when we hear antagonizing words toward us such as yours. You actually expect us black men that don't fit your 'IGNORANT ASSUMPTIONS' to just sit idle while you say things like this? I can't defend the black men that are truly scum, neither can I defend any race of other men that are just as scummy. However, I'm not down to take anyone else's bullets. You say a person shouldn't watch too much TV, I don't either but I hear enough people talk about what's there and it's all pretty stupid nowadays. But it's like you're reflecting the same ideas presented by it. Even most racist whites don't claim we don't know how to treat our women. Usually, it's were just criminals, you've taken it a whole new level. "in opinion most bm just live to antagonize bw. They can’t stand to see them happy they take every opportunity available to insult or irritate bw just to get them to “act out” and then of course they want everyone to notice this and penalize bw for it. Bw have enough to deal with as it is." And other men and women don't have enou... you know what? I just don't know what to say about this. You need help, you just need help. "You don’t want this guy (or any other wm) to be interested in dating bw. You don’t WANT it." Where are you getting this from? I told him to use the same criteria for choosing any other race of female for picking a black one. And he's been here long enough to read posts from black women who don't think like you. The one's who can just date other men and not mention black men in the process. Two of my cousins have white husbands. It's freakin' awesome. The babies are so cute, I know my cousins are with good dudes and they still love their black daddy. I want them to have what's best for them. Time will tell if it really is, but that could be with anybody. Even their husbands. "THEY HAVE JUST RAN TO HIDE BEHIND WW SKIRTS TO SAVE THEMSELVES WHILE THROWING US UNDER A BUS." I don't go around searching for black men using negative crap about black women as their reason for dating other women (there you go again, black men only date white women?). If I were to find one, we'd have it out. As I said before, find one on this site, since this site is my only concern right now, I'd be glad to take him on. I mentioned this exact same thing in the topic "Black women. Black men. Best frenemies." I stated that there were mostly comments (from black women) about how we're enemies, but not many regarding how we're still friends at the same time. Why do you think that is, that there are more of those? Do you believe black men and women are still friends in some ways or not? I believe so, but that's just me. "Does everything have to be spelled out. WHITES ARE PRIVILEDGED. BM are capitalizing on it." And there it goes. What do you think about that, my boy? That's the self-esteem issue we were talking about in that other post. What man wants that in their life, from any woman. I can't do this anymore. I have to say when it comes to superior verbal pugilism, she can take someone to task. Mighty impressive. But when it comes to reading comprehension, she's in a doldrum. She becomes Samuel Jackson from Caveman's Valentine. Some people are only good at putting others down, not understanding them. One last thing, Sweet P. How many men have you dated? How and why did each relationship end? What gave the impression that the 'follow up man' would be better than the last? Who dumped who in each relationship? Just rhetorical questions. As long as you know and are comfortable with the answers granted all that you've said here, it's okay! And for the record, I don't hate you, as a person or a black woman. I just don't like what you have to say.
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Peanut says:Posted: 07 Jul 09
Ichabod, I'm starting to think you only twist my words around to get a response. (Asking you not to think black women just want to get back at black men by dating white men, after previously launching a full-scale campaign urging black women to date white men) I said bw should look elsewhere to OTHER men besides Black men. I didn't say ONLY wm should be considered. I already made that clear in one of my posts months ago but you conveniently forgot that. And yes, I think bw need to take a break from bm and try something new because in opinion most bm just live to antagonize bw. They can't stand to see them happy they take every opportunity available to insult or irritate bw just to get them to "act out" and then of course they want everyone to notice this and penalize bw for it. Bw have enough to deal with as it is. I think YOUR motives are very clear here regarding Az: (You have clearly expressed your main concerns and apprehensions with dating black women, and from your observations of many comments, the worst case scenarios regarding your concerns and apprehensions with dating black women are becoming apparent.) You don't want this guy (or any other wm) to be interested in dating bw. You don't WANT it. And AZ, you're just plain wrong about bw's motives for dating wm. How many bw do you know anyway?
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Austrian says:Posted: 07 Jul 09
Dearest Godiva61, you were on call, while most others (including myself) were having fun over the weekend. I sincerely hope, that you get sufficient rest and enough time off to regain your energy. You are probably taking care of people in need or bad health? I admire you for doing so and hope, that also your needs and wishes are fulfilled by someone loving!
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Austrian says:Posted: 07 Jul 09
Dearest Godiva61 and Ichibod, English is my second language, therefore I am extra careful in expressing myself, trying to avoid misunderstandings. Of course, as you know me by now, I was merely describing the great variety of couple combinations, trying to point out, that people have all kinds of preferences. This is what you see in Miami Beach these days - anyone who has been here will agree to this - I know it is not the NORM in the U.S. But - these people are mostly tourists. They go back to their communities, where they may be hesitant to show their preference as openly. Having seen so many other interracial couples, will have a positive impact on them and ensure them - this can't be stopped by anyone. It would be nice, if people would just read, not trying to read BETWEEN THE LINES. And I repeat, who cares about percentage? There are enough HUMANS in these blogs, looking for warmth and love, not mathematical figures. It is very sad, obviously some people can not open themselves to receive honest compassion and friendliness, are they so deeply hurt? Ichibod, thank you for your 'Yes' - and I appreciate your friendship. Godiva61, I'll return to McKinney, Dallas in a week and back to Europe later this month. Love, and have a good week.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 07 Jul 09
Jordan, I have to admit, you are the king of strawman questions and statements. Nothing you wrote has anything to do with anything that prospective interracial couples need to talk about. "Ichibod: White men don’t have to understand anything in order for a black women to be interested in them. "JL: As a facilitator of “race” dialogue groups for the last 10 or so years, we’ve had some interesting discussions on inter-ethnic marriages….and almost 99% of such couples participating say that “some understanding of the historical way in which Blacks and other Groups of Color have been treated in amerikkka….helped their relationship immensely.” Facilitator of race dialog? In other words, "The Token Black Guy". Been there, done that. Honestly, it gets old after a while. I stick by my statements. A person can be interested in someone who knows nothing about them. It's bascially what leads people to want to meet other people. All that other stuff comes later after meeting. You really expect Azrazyel or anyone else to impart conversation of institutional racism into their game? "Hey, girl. What's your slave name? Are you an equal opportunity dater? No? Aw, you can give me some affirmative action or something, sweetheart." Trust me, she should not be considered racist for turning the man down and/or throwing a drink and/or shoe at him. "And Obama is NOT half white…if everyone in the world “can trace their ancestry back to a woman who lived in Africa 80,000 years ago...” Let's not split hairs. Especially after questioning why there are no topics asking why certain other groups date/love other groups when we all originated from the same place anyway. Hypocracy much? "I don’t know why you’d ask such a question…when it’s sooooooooooooooooooooo easy to find the answer." The question was rhetorical. I don't really care about the answer. Details regarding statistics are inconsequential to his argument. Probably easy for you to find seeing as though you may need them to feel more comfortable about yourself dating interracially... or for your... facilitating of race dialog. Whichever floats your boat. Let me revisit a previous statement of mine, since you butchered it for another strawman set up: "And Azrazyel (white), just like Obama (half-white), has white friends and relatives who probably ‘just don’t get it’ as you so succinctly put it." Again, what I meant by that was they know all too well the rhetoric spoken about themselves and other races in white circles. I can assure you, they're not talking about climate change, crossing the Bering Strait or Mesopotamia. "His “opinions about white feelings, attitudes, and ideas” reflect little understanding." So he's confused about being white? Okay, Token. How about you give him a few pointers then? "Ichibod: and the comments that some black women make regarding their reasons for dating white men." You should audition for the role of the Scarecrow in the next version of The Wiz, Mr Strawman! Before you cropped that sentence to confetti, it was pointing out that in thses forums where you say: "I believe they allow for the sharing of a lot of information, i.e. perspectives, etc., that most people aren’t going to get any place else," He reads plenty of anti-black man jargon on this site and was saying that white men shouldn’t have to listen to the garbage of a woman bashing her own race of men to them. I mentioned no race imparticular; before or now. Tell me, do you even care what people are saying or is it that you just can't wait for your turn to say something and your chance to try to show someone up with your random trivia? You're like that dude from Barbershop. Education without wisdom is foolishness. Forgive me for taking your comments toward World Citizen a tad bit personal. Can't help it, but I digress. Let's move on. "We all know that some Whites have been written out of wills…just because he/she was dating and/or married a Person of Color." We all know that Marvin Gaye's dad shot him over his lifestyle. I know white people who have written children out of wills because they were douchebag parents, the kids were drug addicts or let their spouses turn them against the rest of the family. I worked for a life insurance company. I'm no stranger to beneficiary changes. What's your point to all this? Were you directing this to Azrazyel or were you just making noise again? "JL: I definitely disagree “Racial baggage” in regards to relationships is one thing….but understanding reasons for why those things have occurred it yet another." I didn't hear anybody asking for reasons why those things have occurred. How does this sound: Azrazyel: "Honey, we need to find ways to cut our electric bill and move more money into savings." His wife: "Well you know, my ancestors didn't have A/C in the cabins to cool off after a hard days labor in the fields. And massa took their water. You should respect my needs to run it during the day". Please, please, please! Stick to the topic at least. "One of his sons was dating a Black woman, and when Dog found out about it…he used a slew of racial slurs, etc., to describe both the woman and the relationship." Dog's son and his son's girlfriend were both drug addicts and it was a disgrace to the family. He got pissed, like most drug addict kids, when they can't get what they want from the parents or other family members to support their habit. Dog admitted he used the word frequently 'in-house' and not in public and not out of hatred (you can have whatever feelings about that, Dog is the bomb to me). His son decided to use it to his crack-head advantage to hurt his father. What's worse, being a crack-head or being a... You know what? Let's just skip it. I'm going to leave it right here, 'Smart Brother'. You don't seem to like the white people of Amerikkka (geez, would you cut it out already), do you? Far too often you manage to make some type of derogatory comments about whites periodically throughout your thesis. You say: "Well, many “Whites” that are activists like myself have told me about some of those family conversations, and they aren’t anything like the “maturity” that azrazyel mentioned." Really? You sure they're not just whitewashing truths to make you feel comfortable around them for the last 10 years? Token, the black friend they can conveniently say they have in conversations... since whites tend to shy away from conversations about race. You're really a racist. Seriously. Don't take the 'No' to your flirts so personal.
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JordanMardan says:Posted: 07 Jul 09Ichibod: According to the 2000 census, the population increased 13.5%. How many of the 3%-7% marriage increase were white males with black females? You don’t know which makes statistics useless to argue in this case. JL: According to the Census for 1980, there were 27,000 Black wife-White husband couples and for 2006 there were 117,000 such unions. I don't know why you'd ask such a question...when it's sooooooooooooooooooooo easy to find the answer. :>) Ichibod: He was saying that white men shouldn’t have to listen to the garbage of a woman bashing her own race of men to them. JL: That's part of what he wrote....but if he doesn't like that...why is here reading and participating in these forums?! Ichibod: White men don’t have to understand anything in order for a black women to be interested in them. JL: As a facilitator of "race" dialogue groups for the last 10 or so years, we've had some interesting discussions on inter-ethnic marriages....and almost 99% of such couples participating say that "some understanding of the historical way in which Blacks and other Groups of Color have been treated in amerikkka....helped their relationship immensely." I distinctly remember the tell-all words of one Black male who said, "I couldn't imagine coming home from work and mentioning a racial incident to my wife....and then have her respond, "Come on, Jimmy...you know racism doesn't exist. The Civil Rights movement ended all that." And that goes right back to what I wrote about "multiculturally-thinking and behaving White people": Those that "get it" do a whole lot better in inter-ethnic relationships than those whose don't." Understanding both the physical and psychological war against Blacks/other People of Color carried out by Whites helps such relationships. In another message someone wrote something about "people having an attitude." That's like breaking someone's leg, and then criticizing them for "not being able to walk." You'd have an "attitude" too if you had had to traverse the racial terrain that People of Color do in amerikkka. Ichibod: And Azrazyel (white), just like Obama (half-white), has JL: That's NOT what I was referring to when I wrote “I’m well aware of the controversy that erupted when Obama used the phrase “typical White person.” And Obama is NOT half white...if everyone in the world "can trace their ancestry back to a woman who lived in Africa 80,000 years ago." So, if anything, Obama is about 80% African and 20% White...due to the effects of climate...NOT of biology. No evidence exists of a multi-genesis of different human races. Hence, the term "mixed" is a misnomer. No matter what type of changes occurred (due to climate)to the Africans that migrated out of Africa and into the Far East, Europe, etc....they were still African. The sweet irony of racial labels and pseudo-scientific theories about "races".....is that...eventually everyone is going to look African again. :>) I'm sure you've heard the phrase "the browning of America," right? Well, in several hundred years or maybe a little more, people will be talking about "the Blackening of America"...meaning people are going to transform right back to the physical characteristics of the ORIGINAL PEOPLE of the Earth. With migration patterns and the frequent exchange of genes between "different" groups of people, I doubt that the thousands-of-years-long isolation that spawned the transformation of Africans into Europeans, Asians, and other "non-African" groups will occur again. Ichibod: Therefore, his opinons about white feelings, attitudes, ideas, or whatever are more credible that yours… and obviously managed to erupt controversy with you. JL: Heh heh heh!!! I highly doubt that...since Whites tend to shy away from conversations about "race"...and attempt to hide the identity of anyone in their family by claiming that "oh, she's got a little Indian or Italian blood in her"...leaving the "mixed" ones to deal with "racial" identity issues on their own. Yeah, right. His "opinions about white feelings, attitudes, and ideas" reflect little understanding. Ichibod: Here’s the hypocracy that killed your whole rebuttal: He doesn’t need ‘racial baggage’ explained to him. He’s a grown man and well aware of what is going on in ‘Amerikkka’ JL: I definitely disagree "Racial baggage" in regards to relationships is one thing....but understanding reasons for why those things have occurred it yet another. Ichibod: and the comments that some black women make regarding their reasons for dating white men. JL: His OWN words tell us that he has no understanding of WHY these things have occurred or are occurring....as well as the role of external forces upon the lives of Blacks and other People of Color. In fact, out of all of the messages posted in these forums, I've only read 3 or 4 messages that get at the reasons for these problems. Part of it is internal and much of it is driven by external forces, i.e. social/political/economic elements that have impacted Blacks, etc., in harsh ways. You can't blame it all on Black men and women as azrazyel did. But at least these discussions are happening...for without them...solutions will not occur. Here's a question for you: Would all these arguments be occurring if there weren't any forums to discuss them?! Nope. People would simply come on the site and look for someone they're attracted to...just like they do on other dating sites that do not have "member forums." But having written that does not mean I am disparaging the forums. I believe they allow for the sharing of a lot of information, i.e. perspectives, etc., that most people aren't going to get any place else, especially Whites...who do all they can, in general, to avoid talking about "race." As I mentioned in another message, just because azrazyel does not see any conflict between White men and women in these forums...does NOT mean that such conflict does not exist. We all know that some Whites have been written out of wills...just because he/she was dating and/or married a Person of Color. I'm reminded of a story a White woman told at one of the dialogue groups: "My first cousin and her husband decided not to have children because....both she and her husband have a distant Black relative...and they're afraid that if they have a child...that their regressive genes might produce a Black baby." While azrazyel might see the, in general, passive communication style of middle- and upper-class Whites as a sign of "maturity,"....in my opinion this passiveness inhibits them from having the type of conversations necessary to talk about conflict and "racial" issues, like dating/marrying outside your cultural group. I wonder how Whites who have been isolated from their families, written out of wills, etc....feel/think about the upheaval their "cross-cultural" desires and/or social justice activities have motivated (actually the hate motivates this) in their families and how such a conversation might go between the "White sheep of the family" and the racist members?! Well, many "Whites" that are activists like myself have told me about some of those family conversations, and they aren't anything like the "maturity" that azrazyel mentioned. I think the controversy that happened last year between Dog the Bounty Hunter and his son are pretty indicative of such family conflicts. For those of you who are not familiar with Dog, he's a White male who has a TV show about "catching people who are fugitives from the law." One of his sons was dating a Black woman, and when Dog found out about it...he used a slew of racial slurs, etc., to describe both the woman and the relationship. His son released some of that information to the media to get back at his father, and eventually the public outcry resulted in his show being cancelled. Did this White family handle this situation in a mature way?! Nope! It's little wonder to me why inter-ethnic marriages ONLY comprise 7% of ALL marriages in the U.S. Hence, it looks like to me that someone isn't being very truthful about their real feelings/beliefs, etc....especially in an era where we've elected the "first" Black president....a point White people like to use for claiming "racism no longer exists in America." Yeah, I'm sure they're right.
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godiva61 says:Posted: 07 Jul 09
Ichibod, Hey there! How was your Monday? I hope all is well with you, is it? Thank you for articulating the sentiment's that I was thinking, but couldn't find the right word's to type here about my dear sister, World Citizen. I reread her post several times and could not figure out the "throwing violence" around. I didn't perceive it as a negative vibe, but we all are different, and so are our perception's.. Also, I have been on call all weekend, so I am a little tired and so are my eyes, that's why I had to reread her post several times. Also I didn't quite figure out why she was being perceived as a racist because of her physically describing people that she has encountered in Miami. I thought her reason behind the description was to point out the "different" array of people, loving, communicating, getting along in spite of what they may look like, again I could be wrong or just see it differently... I'll go back and read again, after I get some shut eye.. I love World Citizen too!! love godiva
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Ichibod says:Posted: 07 Jul 09
Mother Citizen, I love you! It seems that you may have offended someone by being a white women and stating that blacks can have tender relationships and that even whites can have violent ones. You may have shattered the dreams of anyone believing they can avoid negative possibilities by dating interracially. You sweet, dream shatterer you. Take care, and hope to hear from you soon!
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Ichibod says:Posted: 07 Jul 09
Azrazyel, listen. Just read all of the previous posts and pay close attention to what is being said, especially from the ones that are replying to you, including myself. I truly believe your feelings are genuine and I most definitely do not think that you are racist. I think you are remaining extremely humble while engaging in these discussions, as well as debates to find the guidance and answers you are looking for. You have clearly expressed your main concerns and apprehensions with dating black women, and from your observations of many comments, the worst case scenarios regarding your concerns and apprehensions with dating black women are becoming apparent. You're a smart guy. Use your head! What criteria do you use when choosing which a white, asian, or latina woman to date? It's no different when choosing a black woman. Each one is different just as every human being is unique. I can see from your earlier post that you already know what's really important in choosing an ideal mate. Anything else is unnecessary and trivial. You're not wrong for feeling the way you do. Notice the blogger that asks why is there so much focus on dating a particular race of woman, an then questions why there aren't more topics about other combinations. Recognize the blogger that begs black women to not add to, but 'trade' their dating options, when even they claim to have only dated white men and speak from some type of second, third, or forthhand (not first) experience that all black men don't know how to treat black women. Asking you not to think black women just want to get back at black men by dating white men, after previously launching a full-scale campaign urging black women to date white men and told me (as a black man she doesn't know or ever dated) to leave black women alone. Also notice how commentary is different with the person in question and whites, than it is with blacks. Use your best judgement, man. Anything you need, just let me know. Good luck to you!
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SanAntonioBeauty says:Posted: 06 Jul 09It's so silly to continue this debate. It like saying white women have no options, that's why they seek out plastic surgery more often and are more promiscuous the any other race of women. This thread is purely designed to disparage black woman, the mothers of black men. Black women will continue being as loved and desired by all race of men. What is clear, only those men who are confident, mature, not limited by stupid societal norms, and who appreciate black women will reap the benefits of all that black women has to offer. Lucky men!
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 06 Jul 09
Peanut: Thanks for replying. The last line you wrote sums it up, at least in my perspective. But for me at least, it's not an excuse...it's the truth. Black women know deep down inside, that if there was enough black men available to them, and suitable to their needs, they wouldn't need an option. That's what basically scares me off. I'm interested, but equally uninterested at the same time. It's a deadlock and a counterweight for me. I may be better off in the long run to stick with white and asian or latino, and let my feelings run dry for black women. Only black men can handle a black woman, and the white man shouldn't have to bear the brunt of it. Unless they have balls of kryptonite to do so.
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Peanut says:Posted: 06 Jul 09
To WC. You seemed to be throwing the "violence" word around a bit after my last post. I don't think I've even seen it on this thread until now. What does violence have to do with expressing yourself openly and honestly? You may have some issues. And it IS productive to be honest at all times. People may feel hurt for a few minutes but then when they really think about it they will appreciate the information given. JM, loud and clear! Why has “telling the truth”…been couched or viewed by passive communicators as “aggressive, blunt, confrontational, direct, etc.?” It’s because they don’t want to deal with the truth….so they whitewash it. That's why BS never stops circulating. Because it's a bandaid that soothes temporarily but the wound still sits underneath. The truth is the only thing that heals anything. People actually PREFER the truth even if it stings. Azrazyel, you probably need to interview some wm other than your friends and coworkers. They are, by design, going to be very similar in mindset coming from the same line of work and tastes. And you shouldn't think THAT many black women just want to get back at black men by dating wm. I have always dated wm and I know plenty of black women that think wm are great and fun to be with. It bothers me that when bw finally STOP being restrictive in their dating habits that they get slammed for some conjured up reason (often conjured by bm that don't want to see their harems disappear) and then adopted by everyone else. Sometimes I wonder if wm just want to latch onto that as yet another excuse to avoid dating bw while at the same time avoiding being labeled a racist.
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 06 Jul 09
Look: I appreciate all the responses that I've seen. First off, I don't appreciate being called racist or even considered racist. FAR from it. Click on my pic and read my profile. How could I be racist if I am interested in black women? White racist/supremecists hate ALL blacks. Not me! Now, I am happy to engage in a conversation or debate with whomever. I am here to learn. That's part of the reason why I am interested in black women, not just because they are beautiful etc. etc., but also because I want to know the culture of the black people and have a better understanding for myself other than what I may already know or perceive. I have reasons for my perceptions and opinions, I come from an area where interracial couples is rare, therefore I perceive differently. Maybe some of you live in a mixed environment, where interracial couples are more common. I respect everyone's background and their walks of life and where they came from. I stand by my opinions because I base on what I see, not what I hear i.e. internet, radio, tv. I will continue to think that black women only date out because of jealousy of black men doing it first. I still see it as desperation, and I still believe most white men don't want a black woman. I've been asking lately my friends and friends from work what they think about interracial couples. Some I've heard are too explicit to explain, so I will refrain from saying so. Others preferred Asian (mainly) and hispanic. I go by what they are telling me. I know that isn't based on all white men, but I think it's few that would pursue a black woman, again for many reasons. Too much garbage whereas I see on this website helps to prove my points. I am interested because I find black women attractive, although it's been a recent awakening for me. But it's going to be hard to find that .5% who actually give a damn about white men, of course the 99.5% being out of jealousy and desperation. No white man wants a woman who is desperate, and is NOT looking for love, but for payback. I hope you take into consideration of my reasons for the way I perceive, just like I would for you. I am here to learn, and I will stick by my statements until proven otherwise. Regards
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JordanMardan says:Posted: 06 Jul 09
I guess World Citizen and azrazyel didn't read this article..since it "flies in the face" of what they've written over the last 2 days: April 27th, 2009 Interracial couple kissing churns stomachs Posted by James “The 7 Best Places to Smooch” was one of the stories on the 10th April cover of GO! magazine and to go along with it was this photo of an interracial couple kissing. Well, that photo ended up generating a lot of queasiness in many – evidenced by reader comments of the online version - simply because a Black man was kissing a White woman. Check out some of the comments: “Haven’t read the story but don't like to see blacks and whites kissing;” – reader 1buschstadiumplz “This doesn’t surprise me at all. Libs take every opportunity they can to shove miscegenation in our faces. Now that TV has to show blacks in every commercial, notice that they are always posed beside a blonde woman. Not a brunette, a blonde. Its done for shock value. Sickening that a once proud newspaper would resort ot this. Joe Pulitzer is turning over in his grave in shame.” – reader taxpayer “I’m not judging the concept of biracial couples at all, but in a city as racially polarized as St. Louis, I’m shocked that the PD would go so out of its way to be so gratuitously provocative. This completely undercut the message of the article.” – reader greggh PS: And these are just the subtle ones. Most of the comments had inappropriate offensive language. To tell you the truth, the above is pretty disturbing if you ask me. The thing is, the couple on the cover wasn’t just models posing … it’s a real couple. I don’t want to imagine what they must have felt. I gotta ask: In this day, age and era, how can a mere photo of interracial couple kissing arouse such racist comments? JL: I can't help but also "wonder" why the moderator chose to write "because a Black man was kissing a White woman" rather than "a White Woman kissing a Black man" OR "a Black man and a white woman kissing." That phrasing is indicative of almost all the thread titles, such as "Why do Black men love White women" OR "Why do Black women love White men," etc....as if the White, Asian, or Latino partner in an inter-ethnic relationship with a Black person...is sort of a passive participant. Why do you keep doing that?
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Member says:Posted: 06 Jul 09
azrazyel: I’m just glad white women and white men choose not to get into this kid circus of immaturity and hating one another. JL: Although I agree to some extent, there are several issues that you're either not aware of or simply chose to ignore. First, all Whites are not as you've described them. There's definitely some socio-economic and educational difference among them. I've often seen middle/upper class Whites treat other Whites very kindly in public, but then turn around and treat a Black person poorly. Why? Is it that they're unconscious of this behavior, due to living in a culture where such ill-treatment is a norm and therefore not consciously thought about?! Oprah did a show on this a few years back, and the Whites who agreed to allow themselves to be followed by a camera crew for 2 weeks...were indeed surprised at the things they were filmed doing when coming into contact with Blacks and other People of Color. Nathan Rutstein also addresses this issue in his book, "Healing Racism in America: A Prescription for the Disease." You also might be able to google some articles by a White journalism professor named Robert Jensen. Two, I rarely see middle- and upper-class Black men and women arguing about their problems in public. On the other hand, these forums were created to discuss such issues...so all the stuff you're reading here written by Blacks....is NOT something you're going to hear coming from the mouths of such Blacks when walking down the street, sitting in a restaurant, etc. The forums attempt to provoke people to reflect, think about, and share their views on various topics. If you're NOT reading about conflict between White men and women, then there's the strong likelihood that someone is NOT being very truthful.
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Member says:Posted: 06 Jul 09
World Citizen: It is true, that many people - not only White, but also Asian, do not shout out and put each other down in these blogs. If necessary, they may do so privately. JL: To the contrary, I've read a whole bunch of racist comments written by Whites in these forums....and other dating forums, especially datehookup.com and community forums on various newspapers' websites, etc. WC: Women and men from pitch black to fair, athletic, stunningly beautiful to fascinatingly unusual JL: What does that mean?! How does "stunningly beautiful" compare to "pitch Black?!" Damn! Talk about racist. Lastly, as I've written before, there are communication style differences between various groups, and culture and socio-economic class play a role. The general styles of the poor and middle-class of ANY group is usually very different, meaning that poor Whites talk or write very differently than middle/upper-class Whites...and the same for Blacks, etc. And, of course, you will read or hear of negative comments from upper-class Whites, such as when former pro basketball player Dan Issel or actor Mel Gibson (and many, many other upper-class Whites) shouted out racial slurs in public. Upper- and middle-class Whites tend to do this when they are angry, excited, or drunk. Hence, what does this tell you?! It tells me that "passive communicators are indeed capable of spewing forth with foul language, but most of the time...are able to keep this ugly side hidden...leading people like World Citizen to believe "they are good and nice people." Yeah, right. If it's not inside of you, it can't come out. I find it quite interesting that the same communication style many Blacks use with one another at Christmas & Thanksgiving dinners, at church, and everywhere else where Blacks are laughing & talking....is viewed by middle- and upper-class Whites as aggressive, blunt, confrontational, crude, direct, or hostile. What is not usually mentioned or recognized by these Whites (middle/upper-class) is that in general, they are communicating with a very passive style. For example: 1. Filipinos were brought to Hawaii and paid low wages. 2. White people brought Filipinos to Hawaii and paid them low wages. Which of the statements above is passive? Which one would passive communicators deem as aggressive, blunt, confrontational, direct, etc.? Which statement is most accurate? The passive style was created to conceal bad behaviors, etc. For example, applying this to the "history of slavery," what do we find? All the atrocities committed against enslaved people has been whitewashed...due to the passive writing style of White historians, who are generally middle-upper and/or upper-class people. All the lynchings, beatings, rapes, psychological trauma visited upon enslaved people...have been erased through the use of a passive writing or speaking style. It's little wonder to me....that "many Whites now think "slavery wasn't all that bad." Reflective of this belief is "a NY school who did a project that indicated 'slavery wasn't that bad'...resulting in an eruption from the Black community a few years ago." And I often read the same sentiment throughout the internet in various forums. Why has "telling the truth"...been couched or viewed by passive communicators as "aggressive, blunt, confrontational, direct, etc.?" It's because they don't want to deal with the truth....so they whitewash it. On the other hand, when it's directed towards Blacks, Latinos, etc., Whites do NOT seem to have any restraint upon the language they use. Case in point, "The Bell Curve," by Murray and Hernstein. That book is nothing more that White supremacist hate literature dressed up as science, which Stephen J. Gould and other researchers have roundly rebuked. Who are the most anal retentive people in America? How does anal retentiveness affect one's body, i.e., keeping all that stuff inside of you?! But that veers off into a different albeit related issue....since the general communication style of most Blacks is NOT about "letting it all out." One of the cardinal rules about "being receptive and/or accepting of diversity" is "that you do not use your own culture to evaluate the culture of another group, be it communicating, raising children, etc." Before negatively labeling the communication style of another person, you should seek to learn "the intent of the speaker or writer"...rather than using your own style to make that appraisal." For more information on communication styles, google "Intercultural Communication Workshop" in Oregon.
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Austrian says:Posted: 06 Jul 09
I intend to comment on this blog for hopefully the last time. Everything that is said by anyone here is true - for that individual - as past experiences caused these persons to come to those conclusions. It is true, that many people - not only White, but also Asian, do not shout out and put each other down in these blogs. If necessary, they may do so privately. AND THIS IS THE POINT! There is nothing productive in hurting each other openly, as outsiders do not fully understand the issue and their prejudice is being fed. Similar to a fight between a couple, who may quickly have worked out the problem, everything feeling fine again, while the rest of the family keeps thinking, there are dark clouds over the relationship. It all depends on the temperament and up-bringing of us. And by the way, RELIGION does not seem to have that much impact on behavior! Many Blacks I have come across hate loudness, aggressiveness, disrespect, and physical abuse. You find TENDER BLACK RELATIONSHIPS and VIOLENT WHITE RELATIONSHIPS, where the woman beats the man. THE POINT IS - there are all kinds of possibilities and there MAY HAVE BEEN a MAJORITY of one or the other, but times are changing, more Blacks are educated, financially well off, decided NOT TO HAVE 'AN ATTITUDE'. Social class has to do with it, but you also find many decent families among poor people. Anyone, who chose to settle discrepancies of any sort without violence at first attempt knows, that it works with less scars. If this did not work, only then it may become necessary to apply force. And now about the subject: BLACK WOMEN DO HAVE ALL OPTIONS - as I saw once more - this time here in Miami Beach. Women and men from pitch black to fair, athletic, stunningly beautiful to fascinatingly unusual (seen as ugly by some), teenagers to senior citizens, extremely (un)healthy to skinny, - all these couples were promenading, sitting in sidewalk restaurants, smooching in the fantastic warm water, watching the sunset, etc. etc. These couples - some with their mixed families - have joined here for the 4th of July. They came from all over the U.S. and other countries all over the world. It is not important to talk about any percentage or the specific combinations! THEY ACTUALLY EXIST and will increase, regardless of who would like to stop them! This scenario will be seen anywhere in the U.S. and elsewhere in the future.
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Peanut says:Posted: 06 Jul 09
Mr Queens, I guess since my last post was in all caps it seems like I was yelling. I wasn't. I simply cut and pasted both our quotes from months ago. I used all caps to get people to slow down and read every word. Sooo, I was not "angry as ever." I communicate in a direct manner, it's sometimes read as brusque. Azrazyel, you seem to agree with me on at least one point, that many white men cannot handle the stress involved with dating a Bw. That's basically what I said in my first post. I think however ww and wm DO bash each other, I have heard countless wm say negative things about ww being controlling and self-absorbed and ww saying things about wm being selfish, also self-absorbed and weak. One w-guy said to me: real men go out with Asian women and wimps go out with ww. But generally they ARE less vocal about it, true. I know black people and we are much more up front about touchy issues than white people. We do not shy away from things that might cause strong emotions to stir (because we are strong people?) One thing I've noticed about white people is that they do not like to express negative emotions at all. They always seem to be putting a smile on everything. It might make them pleasant to be with for a little while but in the end it feels a bit unnatural to be around people that won't allow for a full range of expression (if even on a blog like this). I have never been a fan of putting a cork on your emotions. If you have something to say then choose your words carefully and say it for gods sake. Don't just pretend everything is okay when it isn't. I think the "bashing" between Bw and BM IS negative but at least we are expressing our true feelings and in the end that is a healthy process. It is a Process. It may start out negative but may lead to something more constructive. ie: Mr Laurelton is not all in flames like he has been in the past posts. His volume is down just a pinch and that is a good thing. Finally, the fact is wm and bw that want to be together are not going to come from the general society. They will always come from an exceptional branch of it. That is also a good thing, no matter how small the percentage is. And ichabod, hi. Thanks for the compliment. Yes I looked at your profile back in april.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 06 Jul 09
And can we please stop bringing up President Obama! He is not the epitome of biraccialism and shouldn't be the first thing on your minds and tongue when looking for a date. He's already married and definitely don't care who you're with or if you're with anyone at all.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 06 Jul 09
Jordan Evidently, YOU just don't get it. "JM: Actually, inter-ethnic marriages rose from 3% to 7% of ALL marriages according to the 2000 U.S. Census." According to the 2000 census, the population increased 13.5%. How many of the 3%-7% marriage increase were white males with black females? You don't know which makes statistics useless to argue in this case. "JM: Why is there so much focus on dating/marrying a particular type of woman….as opposed to “dating/marrying a nice, intelligent, etc. woman…”who just happens to be Black, White, Latino, etc.?!” He was saying that white men shouldn't have to listen to the garbage of a woman bashing her own race of men to them. What are you talking about? "Did you ever stop to consider that “perhaps the reason there’s so few Black women interested in a White male…is that “there’s so few White males who “get it”…or “understand the experience of Blacks in amerikkka?!” Did you ever think of that? Nope." White men don't have to understand anything in order for a black women to be interested in them. There are a lot of women who aren't interested in me for whatever reason, but I may still find them attractive or think that they are talented, intelligent, or kind. Did you ever think of that? Nope. "(I’m well aware of the controversy that erupted when Obama used the phrase “typical White person.” All that meant was “a White person who doesn’t get it”…and there’s damn sure plenty of them.)" And Azrazyel (white), just like Obama (half-white), has white friends and relatives who probably 'just don't get it' as you so succinctly put it. Therefore, his opinons about white feelings, attitudes, ideas, or whatever are more credible that yours... and obviously managed to erupt controversy with you. Here's the hypocracy that killed your whole rebuttal: "Like it or not, the reality is that many Black women don’t want to date or marry someone who looks like the person that RAPED their great-great- (and further back) grandmother, aunt, etc." "Many Black women also do NOT want to put up with the racial shit from a potential White partner’s family, friends, and other Whites." These little fun facts you mentioned help to support his '99.5%' theory. By way, people use the whole '99%' thing to demonstrate a very high value or an almost unanimous majority, not scientific fact. Is Ivory soap really 99.44% pure as the commercial claims? He doesn't need 'racial baggage' explained to him. He's a grown man and well aware of what is going on in 'Amerikkka' (give it a rest already) and is definitely not a stranger to this sites blogs and the comments that some black women make regarding their reasons for dating white men.
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Member says:Posted: 06 Jul 09
bbwif: I find white men very attractive. Also they know how to treat a black women the way that she wants to be treated. JL: Just what White and Black men are you referring to? Are you conveying that "Black men of the same educational and social class as that of Obama...do not know how to treat Black women?" Are you saying that "poor White men with little education know how to treat a Black woman?" That's what I hate about using umbrella terms like "Black and White." If one of every 2 marriages fail in the U.S., how could you write something like that?! No reality whatsoever. If White men are so great, why have so many White marriages fallen apart due to cheating by the husband?" Did Governor Sanford treat his wife well? What about Bill Clinton? Some men of all colors, classes, etc. treat women well and some do not. But to write what you wrote is indeed an example of "internalized racism," meaning that you've "bought hook, line, and sinker...the negative images of Black men projected by the White dominated media." media. Even if you've personally experienced ill-treatment or have had friends tell of you about bad treatment...those examples still do NOT include a number necessary to claim "such behavior is representative of ALL Black men."
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Member says:Posted: 06 Jul 09
Ichibod: Some people are not haunted by the past and choose to get on with their lives in the present. JM: I wouldn't describe it as "haunted by the past." To be "haunted" by something...you have to experience it first hand...not by reading about it. Two, since "racial taboos" still exist in every group, I would hardly call it a "haunting." Once inter-ethnic couples are shown just as much in the movies as other couples, this taboo will disappear...except among the hardcore racists like David Duke, Phillipe Rushton, etc.
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Member says:Posted: 06 Jul 09
azrazyel: Interracial marriages and dating is taboo. 99.5 % of the time, people marry their own race. I have to disagree with the perception of more and more white men, black women dating. It is false. It is what it is....Taboo. JM: Actually, inter-ethnic marriages rose from 3% to 7% of ALL marriages according to the 2000 U.S. Census. I thought your overall message was pretty good, except for a couple of things. azrazyel: White men who are truly interested should not have to listen to that garbage. If a black woman is 'truly' interested in white men, it's a blessing....but rare. JM: Why is there so much focus on dating/marrying a particular type of woman....as opposed to "dating/marrying a nice, intelligent, etc. woman..."who just happens to be Black, White, Latino, etc.?!" Did you ever stop to consider that "perhaps the reason there's so few Black women interested in a White male...is that "there's so few White males who "get it"...or "understand the experience of Blacks in amerikkka?!" Did you ever think of that? Nope. "White" men who date Black women are typically different from the typical mono-cultural White male. I'm reminded of a friend of mine who just happens to be a "White" male. One day I was at his apt, and he told me he had a new girlfriend. I said: What did she say about the Malcolm X and other African and Black stuff you've got on your walls?" His reply: Nothing. She's Black We both had a good laugh!!! And that brings up another issue: "Do 'White' males who are multicultural thinking and acting....get along with the typical White female?!" (I'm well aware of the controversy that erupted when Obama used the phrase "typical White person." All that meant was "a White person who doesn't get it"...and there's damn sure plenty of them.) azrazyel: In conclusion, I believe (in general) that black women date out because of jealousy of black men dating other races. There are shortages, there is no option. On the other hand, white men do it for multiple reasons. JM: Ridiculous. Every group has multiple reasons. Your statement is, at best, prejudicial or racist, at worst. azrazyel: Second conclusion, 99% of black women don't/didn't really want a white man, and 99% of white men don't want them anyway, for multiple reasons. JM: Another reason why SOME Black women don't want to date a White male is because of slavery. Like it or not, the reality is that many Black women don't want to date or marry someone who looks like the person that RAPED their great-great- (and further back) grandmother, aunt, etc. Many Black women also do NOT want to put up with the racial shit from a potential White partner's family, friends, and other Whites. The "racial baggage" you wrote that comes with "dating/marrying" Black women is also there with Asian and Latino women...for they are fighting the same struggles that Blacks have been fighting for quite a long time. In general, and history proves this, when a "minority" group's or more preferably, a Group of Color's, numbers are small, they don't experience a lot of discrimination....because Whites don't view them as a threat. However, in the late 80s, many Asian Americans felt the bite of Whites' racism as their numbers increased dramatically at medical and engineering schools. I remember Asian American students at colleges on the East and West coasts holding protests because the colleges they wanted to attend changed their "enrollment requirements to require high SAT scores rather than being based on GPAs." Asian students typically have high GPAs, but don't do so well on the SAT. So there's a lot of "racial baggage" out there with all groups, including Whites, Asians, and Latinos. Not just Blacks.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 06 Jul 09
Hello, AlmondJoy. Yes, I viewed your profile since I saw you had viewed mine. What can I say... you're hot. As Laurelton says, It is good to see you again! Azrazyel made some strong points in some other topics recently as well. Also, If you look at history (according to Alex Haley and other sources) some slave masters had black concubines and many were known to have raped female slaves. Not a decent stigma to have trailing a white man looking to pursue a black woman. Also, many black men were hung in lieu of a white woman screaming rape. In some eyes, that makes a black man dating a white woman a risky venture, albeit a successful one if he manages to pull it off. Not claiming this as a positive victory, but why do you think OJ beating his murder rap was so significant? It's a rarity whether he was guilty or not. You can see why white men and black men would have something to say, if anything at all, about their women dating 'the enemy', so to speak (again, not my sentiments). White men have only known to have their women yell rape around black men, so if a white women is with a black man, she is considered a slut. Black men have only known their women to actually be raped or in some other fashion taken advantage of by white men, so the feeling is somewhat mutual to that of the white man regarding his women. Some people are not haunted by the past and choose to get on with their lives in the present. Smart move!
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Member says:Posted: 05 Jul 09
Dear Peanut I am glad you are back and still angry as ever. Azrazyel said something that really touched home. You don't see white people going back and forth about interracial dating. Then again, white folks don't really want to get political on anything for fear of racism. I will say this, concerning this topic, white men care what society thinks about them. That is one of the reasons they shy away from serious relationships with black women. In comparison to black men dating white women, society has called black men every negative name you can think of. If a black man cross over to a white woman. It doesn't hurt the black man in any way. The white woman is ostracized not us. My personal opinion on why sellout black women "put us down" is to distance themselves from the black male image. If a black man is nearby, a non black man ,really deep down, does not want to "deal with that". All I hear black women say on this blog is how "they never grew up with black people". Or they go in a tirade about "always loving a white man from birth". All this bullshit to sound convincing. They doing this out of desperation. On top of that, they think white men are stupid enough to believe that they were "interested" in them all along. The poster child for the desperation is Tattooed one. She gets rejected and than makes a sly comment about not being interested in white men now. I am just watching the sellout black women implode right before my eyes.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 05 Jul 09
Azrazyel (L), It's really embarrassing to say the least. The insecure black men and women do this. The men and women have the exact same insecurities, but instead of sharing them and working together through them, they take them out on members of the opposite gender that don't have their issues. Deep down they are really jealous of them because they are capable of taking responsibility for their actions and hold themselves accountable for what they have allowed themselves to go through in past relationships. It's what adults are supposed to do. That's why there's a topic titled: "Black women. Black men. Best frenemies." Surprisingly, of all the bashing you may have witnessed on any post, this topic has the least responses of all. Ofcourse it's going to. People like to argue and that topic begs the question as to why we do it and why we need to stop.
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 05 Jul 09
Seems in comparison that black women and black men constantly fight over their reasons for dating out. Bashing each other, and finding lame excuses to put one another down. I'm just glad white women and white men choose not to get into this kid circus of immaturity and hating one another. A lot of you folks seem to have a lot of drama, unsettling and insecure issues. If it causes this much focus on hating each other, you may feel more comfortable to stick with your race. Not trying to throw negativity, just stating the obvious. Regards
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Ichibod says:Posted: 05 Jul 09
Arnie, huh. She and others like her remind me of Uncle Ruckus from the Boondocks.
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malarki5 says:Posted: 05 Jul 09
Lady Dee said: I’m not unhappy with blacks - just happy without the male half. Menelik replies: There is something uncomfortably cold and macho about SOME Black women that simply defies any genuine attempt to reason with them. Remember Arnie in the original Terminator? Lady Dee reminds me sooo much of him it chills the bloods! I bet she had a loving relationship with here daddy! Can't thing of many more reasons why she feels as she does towards Black men...unless, of course, she'a a real beauty Black men clamour for lol Menelik Charles London England
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malarki5 says:Posted: 05 Jul 09
Lady Dee said: Sisters, white men do marry us. View picture after picture of beautiful black women happily married to white men here: http://www.blackfemaleinterracialmarriage.com/ Don’t let men tell you we are not desirable to anyone but a black man. It is untrue. Menelik replied: That's Evia Moore's website, right? Boy, do I feel sorry for you! Evia Moore is nothing but a disgruntled Black male (yes, male!) supremacist who couldn't get a Black man of her choice and so she devotes her life to tranferring her allegiance FROM Black men to white men. I figure you have much in common lol Lady Dee said: Bottom line is I am sick of the blatant black woman bashing going on in the media and on the blogs by black men. I’m not seeing it the other way around. Menelik replied: nice of you to identify Black men as owners of blogs which allegedly bash Black women. But who controls and operates the mass media which bashes Black women? White women? Pray, do tell, sista! Menelik Charles London England
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 05 Jul 09
I can say in comparison that black women and black men constantly bash each other and finding excuses to put down each other for dating out. I'm just happy white women are less vocal about it. They keep to themselves and don't engage in the shit garbage of trashing one another. Same thing goes for white men. A lot of you need to get out of preschool and quit whining on who dates who.
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Peanut says:Posted: 05 Jul 09
Comment by Mr Laurelton Queens on 6 June 2009: (Instead of tackling the real issue of why white men pick black women last for dating. I get no answers to that question TO THIS DAY!) Comment by Peanut on 14 April 2009: WHITE MEN DON’T DATE BLACK WOMEN MUCH BECAUSE THEY FEEL IT MAKES THEM LOOK LIKE A LOSER. “THIS IS ALL I COULD GET” OR BECAUSE THEY ARE INTIMIDATED BY BOTH BLACK MEN AND WHITE WOMEN FOR DOING SO. EITHER WAY THEY ARE SOCIAL COWARDS WHO’D SOONER BUNGI JUMP FROM A BRIDGE THAN PUT THEMSELVES IN A POSITION TO BE “EMBARRASSED” PUBLICLY. I think you just forgot about that. But don't forget to think about that remedial reading class.
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Azrazyel says:Posted: 05 Jul 09
GT: I happened to check out your blog, even though I am a man. After reading the first few paragraphs, I concluded that if there was more black men available, black women would not date interracially. I believe personally that no black woman 'really' wants to date/marry a white man. They are forced to. I agree with Mr. Laurelton Queens when he says: "Don’t even lie like black women wanted white men all along. If that was the case there would be more white men with black women." From my perception, on the flipside of that, the interests of white men interested in black women is 'few and far in between'. Most white men either aren't interested, or don't want to have to deal with all the shit baggage that goes along with it. I've asked a few friends (again a few, not all white men) today if they would date a black woman, they preferred asian and latino. One went to the extent to say..."I would be embarrassed. It would be a step down for me, actually like jumping off a cliff is how far a step it would be". End quote. Interracial marriages and dating is taboo. 99.5 % of the time, people marry their own race. I have to disagree with the perception of more and more white men, black women dating. It is false. It is what it is....Taboo. Unknown, minuscule and uncommon. Don't let the media drive your perception on it.....it is 20 times less that what some perceive to be. I'm not trying to throw negativity, that is my own opinion. I myself am interested in black women. I have only been for 6 months now or so. I don't even know if it is what I truly want, I may find out eventually. I don't want to be stuck in the middle of black men and black women fighting over dating out. White men who are truly interested should not have to listen to that garbage. If a black woman is 'truly' interested in white men, it's a blessing....but rare. In conclusion, I believe (in general) that black women date out because of jealousy of black men dating other races. There are shortages, there is no option. On the other hand, white men do it for multiple reasons. One thing is for sex. Others being such as a taboo....to stand out. There are some white men that are in love or want to be with a black woman. I feel sorry for them when probably a majority of black women don't have an option, and that white man is a sucker and being played out of jealousy. Second conclusion, 99% of black women don't/didn't really want a white man, and 99% of white men don't want them anyway, for multiple reasons. Some reasons explainable, others being left unsaid. Just my thoughts. Regards
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GT says:Posted: 05 Jul 09
If you’re a black woman interested in dating interracially, there is a blog that will be helpful for you called “For The Sistas.” It also has posts on dating for black Christian women. Some of the posts are a bit long, but they aren’t any longer than the cover story of a magazine article and I really do think they’ll be useful to you. The blog address is ForTheSistas (dot) blogspot (dot) com. By the way, the blog also has information on dating men from Europe.
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godiva61 says:Posted: 04 Jul 09To: World Citizen, It's good to hear from you.. I hope that you are enjoying your visit with your family. I love Miami, but I wasn't too fond of the Miami Airport, very chaotic.. How long will you be in the US? Have a great weekend and please keep in touch, my sisiter.. love godiva
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godiva61 says:Posted: 04 Jul 09
To: Ichibod, Thank's for the advice, I had already decided not to respond anymore. I said what I had to say, no need to say anymore. It is what it is.. You are a wise man, and a honorable man as well.. love godiva
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Member says:Posted: 04 Jul 09
Dear Lady Dee I said that question. Is white men looking for black women in black neighborhoods? Your asking why is that important. You and your sellout black women friends on this blog give this impression that white men is chasing black women down in black neighborhoods. I definitely do not see that in a majority white neighborhood. Godiva "the chocolate food group" said this “Your telling black women that white men will and are marrying us, is not news. I think black women, on this site and in this world already know this” Lady Dee said this "I’m not sure this is true. In one post - probably on the other forum topic, she was surprised at the extent IR dating betweem bw & wm. If the link I posted can enlighten one woman to her beauty and desireability it’s good." Clearly at least you know the truth. I don't agree with your last statement. A white man shouldn't need blogs and links to know that you are "beautiful".I never met a black woman that didn't think she was desired. The problem is most black women are not interested in white men. You are trying to make it seem like it is not the case. (pointing at you) Don't even lie like black women wanted white men all along. If that was the case there would be more white men with black women. Again Lade Dee makes a good point with this statement. "Any wm will not do. Of course there are a whole list of character traits where we must see eye to eye on. Did I come off as if any white male is mr. right?? On the contrary." I dislike Godvia and Lady Dee but I am leaning towards Lady Dee. At least she stick to her beliefs. The "other one" rides the fence to much. Either you down for black men or white men. Nappy head get off the fence. Lady Dee I hope to debate you more. Take it easy
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Well i cannot say that what he said was completely untrue because there are many black women who feel like (including my own mother) IN my opinion, black men can date whoever they want, life is too short to short to become so worked up over "small stuff". If a black man decides all he want to date is black women then so be it; it is not black womens place to even be mad at black men for dating whomever they want As for black women and desperation: -there are indeed some women who feel like black men are running out and they dont have any other options -There are also women who see dating white men as "selling out" -Then there are some who just love them more than any other race of men As for me black men are beautiful in every way but they are nothing to lose sleep over running out of. There are beautiful men in every race and I would date each and every one to find him. I would never only date another race because I felt like I was running out of my own (i would be indeed insulted if he did that with me). I would still date a white man or any man if ALL black men were only dating black women. *As I child I was in love with Van Diesal, Will Smith, Richard Gere, and Antonio Banderas...*