Black women have no option?
Warning: This post may be offensive to some readers. This is not the objective. The post is in no way meant to defame or inflame any parties, groups or persons. It is simply meant to find out what people think about black white dating.
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In a bid to explain why Black women get upset about Black men dating White women, Chris Rock in his latest stand up comedy says all Black men have done is exercised their option. He goes on to say Black women are angry because they are not attracted to white men so they can’t exercise their option. All they can do is sleep with “pretty white boys" but generally, black women are not attracted to white men.
In my opinion, the above statements suggest Black women only date interracially out of desperation. In fact, most Black men believe so. And the finger pointing between Black men and Black women never ends. I don't think this is the case though and frankly, I have never understood why Black men and Black women have to come up with such crude and prejudiced remarks while trying to figure out the reasoning behind their counterparts' dating options. YES! Options.
What do you think of Chris Rock's theory?
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636 responses to "Black women have no option?"
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Ichibod says:Posted: 16 Apr 09
Love birds? That's classic! Her picture is pretty cute, but no. The truth is that both us of feel that we ARE right. Neither one of us responded to one another by addressing the points that we both felt were our strongest arguments. Some people on this blog expressed that they understand how history plays such a strong role in the specifc issues raised here. When I speak on these topics, I try to make this my first point in an effort to have black women with views such as her's to maybe consider, "You know, I prefer men other races because I can't find a decent black man, but the reasons for this are vald yet disturbing. So, it really isn't the black man's fault. It is their responsibility to find a way out given the opportunities that are now available, but this is how things were designed. I will love my white/asian/latino man and wish my brothers luck and many blessings" or something along those lines. This is what I would hope to at least get women with opinions like Peanut's to at least be able to rationalize. I don't like these heated exchanges, and I most definitely don't plan to continue, because I can guarantee that if anyone looked that either of our profiles, they would most likely say, "These people are this old, and they actually said that to one another"? I am pretty much open to (and I don't mean this as a flirt, so don't use this idea as an admission to your 'love bird' comment, lol) having a brother/sister one-on-one in an IM or private chat. I feel some of our feelings and opinions can be better understood point by point, line for line this way. If we still can't agree, we can both remain comfortable with our beliefs and/or egos at the same time maintaining a healthy respect for one another as people (not to mention black people) without having to resort to hurling such insults at each other. You admit you added fuel to the fire, but I actually attempted to assemble you for battle so I could hear how you would handle a person like her. That was immature. But as in many others post, I agree with a lot of what you have to say, still I haven't spent much time on your blog as of yet. As you say: "Educated black men and women fighting for control" It's amazing that this won't humble black men and women and force us wake up to the realization that we do exist, yet it seems like many of us continue to talk like we don't. Thanks for keeping an eye out for your boy, LQ. Peanut, many apologies for my role in that childish exchange. Do what you do. I will never agree with the points you brought up. But as you implied, I may have twisted some things with my first response. I gave you the benefit of a doubt, but I didn't let you keep it. Before, I said that I was through... trying to destroy you, that is. Now I mean I'm through... acting half my age. Take care of yourself! Ichibod
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Peanut says:Posted: 16 Apr 09Oh and by the way, that white man I mentioned is now divorced from his wife with 50% custody, on the hunt for black women and "now having the life he always wanted." You think he's rare?
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Peanut says:Posted: 16 Apr 09
I'm not the least bit attracted to ich. End that right there. I know of a white man that is married to a white woman with 2 kids, he said he had always had a thing for black women but "because of family politics and prejudices he felt it would be too difficult to have a black wife...my family had too much riding on me." I think the same thing is true of many, many black women who are now realizing that they let too many good men pass by for no good reason (and I mean non-black men of any race). And I think you're wrong about white people not fighting. Maybe they don't raise the volume but the enmity and tension is thick. I see them walk past each other by the dozens and never even look at each other. And finally! I'm not bashing anybody. I saying to black women, if you're not being treated right don't stay and fight or try to work it out, just leave. We have already tried to "work it out" we've already tried "fighting" it doesn't work. People don't really change that quick. Sometime they don't change until the end of their lives. Who has time to wait for that. MOVE ON to someone who will treat you better. No one is being bashed here.
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Peanut says:Posted: 16 Apr 09
I'm not the least bit attracted to ich. End that right there. I know of a white man that is married to a white woman with 2 kids, he said he had always had a thing for black women but "because of family politics and prejudices he felt it would be too difficult to have a black wife...my family had too much riding on me." I think the same thing is true of many, many black women who are now realizing that they let too many good men pass by for no good reason (and I mean non-black men of any race). And I think you're wrong about white people not fighting. Maybe they don't raise the volume but the enmity and tension is thick. I see them walk past each other by the dozens and never even look at each other.
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Member says:Posted: 16 Apr 09
Dear ICH and Peanut This debate is heated. I will have to separate you two love birds. Clearly, you both are attracted to each other. Problem is one wants to be right LOL. This is the fundamental problem that I have been documenting on my blog for awhile. Educated black men and women fighting for control. You don't see educated white men and white women fighting like this. They have their differences but never to the point of a heated rivalry. I must admit, I added fuel to the fire. By the way, my father worked for the United Nations and retired three years ago to Florida. My mom is still a nurse in New York. I see flaws on both sides. Black men have an egos and black women are "enablers". Again, I don't like white men being used as "pawns" in this. I don't care how many black women try to say "that's not true". It is hard for me to believe you went from "never being interested in white men" to I desired them "my whole life". That is bullshit. The same goes for black men dating white women. Black men seem to get along better with white women. I really don't know why that happens. I honestly been to many states, and it's strange to see that black men and white women get along. Yea, there are white women who would not date black men. I am aware of that. Black women have to bear the bad reputations they have good or bad. I remember, I saw a poster in this college lounge. Some group of "young black girls" put in the flier "Why do they hate black women". I didn't get a chance to attend the meeting. I got a fiancee and my own life. I thought that the flier was "telling'. I would not say black women are desperate for no reason. I personally think, they way they act comes off as desperation. Your not gaining anything from bashing black men. You still look desperate, white men will not tell you that. They know the truth. Even the most hardcore white men that defends black women. Admit "yea" some are desperate. My new post is coming soon " CNN To be a Desperate Sellout Black Woman in America". I plan to drop that soon.
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jokeboy69 says:Posted: 16 Apr 09live and let live if you are truely happy and the one your with is happy as well then dont worry about what others think . love is a beutiful thing no matter what color you or they are just follow your hart and the good man up stairs will handle the rest
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jokeboy69 says:Posted: 16 Apr 09
ok i think you all have way to much time on your hands i have bean atracted to black woman all my life and dont care what any body thinks about it ill be with the one who makes me happy and i am the only one who needs to like it if no one else dos i hate for ya
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Peanut says:Posted: 16 Apr 09
Ich, You make no sense what so ever. I never said that there was any difference between a son or daughter of a single mom under stress. Why even mention it? The point was not even about the kids, it was about the situation the mother was in and how unnecessary it is if the husband stays put. (She is not a mother. She studied, did her research on, and observed the behavioral patterns of other people’s children as a nanny. Therefore, the concept of a parent or parents instilling in children manners, discipline, and the need for education elude her.) What?! again with the phantom crusade. I said I was not a mother but got a taste of what it feels like so I was actually DEFENDING BM's urge to leave but stating that a parent must fight those urges and stay the course. I'm beginning to think you really don't have anything salient to say, you're just repeating yourself while looking to for some form of personal attack in anything I write just to play victim. Sorry, not buying it. Trust me, nothing is eluding me. You mind telling me how those two points you made that I criticized ended up dismantling my argument? Your mom found a real man, great SHE GOT LUCKY. Get that? That won't happen for most black women BECAUSE THERE ARE NOT ENOUGH BM like that TO GO AROUND. (you flat out don’t like any black men and don’t trust any black women to be able to succeed without a white man’s assistance.) I don't like the way black men make black women miserable and I'm just suggesting that black women look elsewhere for once. Then you say I "don't trust black women" to think for themselves? That's manipulation right there! You want black women to think I'm talking down to them because you don't want them to consider my advice. Manipulation. And succeeding without a white man? Who was even talking about success? And who said the other man had to be white anyway? This is all coming from YOU. All contrived by YOU. And you HARDLY left any pieces of me as leftovers. You never even ONCE made a solid point that stands up on it's own two feet so what are you talking about? I hope you're through, trying to bushwack through your poorly written postings gives me a headache.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 16 Apr 09
After all of the other comments that preceeded and followed mine, you still don't get it. The first wave is all I can do... to be fair. Any further warfare would be like murder, hate crime, or just down right taking candy from a baby and, shoving it down its throat, laughing while it chokes to death. You made you point very clear, you flat out don't like any black men and don't trust any black women to be able to succeed without a white man's assistance. You tried to use two of my points against me, and you don't even realize how it defeats your arguement all together. My mom raised two sons. A black women can and should take responsibility for the developement of not only of their sons, but their daughters as well. If a mother had to raise children on her own, possible under stress of doing it alone and all that other mess you spouted, wouldn't some daughters be just a damned as all of these black men? I mentioned my dad to prove to you, to present to you as evidence, that a black women can find a good black man. My dad grew up in the projects, joined the navy, and retired an officer after 30 years. If my mom new to take your advice and leave black men alone, I could not be here to show past and future posters how foolish you sound and how utterly stupid you are. Damn her! I'm just done with you period. MLQ, you can have the left overs if you want, but it's really not worth it. She is not a mother. She studied, did her research on, and observed the behavioral patterns of other people's children as a nanny. Therefore, the concept of a parent or parents instilling in children manners, discipline, and the need for education elude her. If a son can be jacked up, then a daughter can be jacked up, too. Some single women have it, some don't. The ones that do, will raise respectable sons, but won't have the option of a black woman if this turd sandwich get her way. I'm through.
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Member says:Posted: 16 Apr 09
Shannon 1972, I totally agree with you. You made a great point!
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Peanut says:Posted: 16 Apr 09
Good god I don’t know where to begin with you two (ich and Queenie) The logic is twisted like a pretzel and you somehow expect me to get lost and think you’re making a solid point here. Wrong! Not only will I not get lost but I will put you both in the spotlight in dead center of your circus tent. (.…and black men had to have black mothers to raise them completly elude you.) My point was that these men deserted the mothers so YES they did raise the kids alone many times. That’s why so many Black women from these backgrounds are so disaffected. If the father took off because the responsibility of "raising" a family was much too boring compared to partying and the stressed out mother never really found time for joy anymore she may have passed that trait onto her kids. Some of these kids turned out to be "bad" single parents too. They hit their kids and yelled too much; another thing many black men site as a reason they can't stomach being with black women; she reminds them of their stressed out mothers. But the person to blame isn’t the mother it’s the father that walked. Parenting is extremely stressful. I know I’ve been a nanny before which amounts to a fraction of the real parenting time and it was still rough, the urge to flee comes and goes. but in the end those were not my kids and a real parent needs to use powerful resolve to put off those feelings and wait until the joy of parenting returns. These guys walked and left a mess behind. (You rather for black men to live lonely, and suffer extinction than to realize that the last thing our brothers, fathers, uncles, cousins, and sons need to hear is this slander) What!??? No! Just find other women! Jesus isn’t that part of this whole topic? (black men exercising their options… use them, date other women, leave black women alone because you don’t treat them right! We’ve been through ENOUGH already waiting on you guys to do the right thing. (isn’t that right Queenie? Who called me peanut head instead of addressing me the way he should have) (You take a jab at me as a black man, then your spitting in my mom’s face, making her child rearing capabilities seem futile and worthless. How dare you?) Where are you getting this from?! How self-centered are you? If you had a dad that stuck around then great, he did what he was supposed to do. I never said black women didn’t to a good job raising kids unless they were stressed out. If they managed to do so WITH the stress then good on them but if they couldn’t manage it then I’m saying I don’t blame them at all. They are only one woman. They sometimes have to work 2 jobs to make ends meet then mother their kids. I wouldn’t be surprised if they did something selfish once in a while. I find it amazing that any of the black guys on this chain can say ANYTHING AT ALL negative about black women dating white men. You have no idea how many white men I've known who've told me that they'd asked out black women who told them point blank "No thanks" without even considering it. Why did they do this? Out of loyalty to black men (because they felt they SHOULD be loyal) FFWD a couple decades and now they are broadening the scope of mates and all of a sudden those same black women are traitors. Even though they stood by and watched black men parade all over every city with white women from the 70's until now, somehow they're race traitors. It was 2003 and I was dating this white guy in NYC. We walked by a black guy on our way to a restaurant and he said: "She don't wanna be a negro!" Another white guy i was dating years before; black guy says to us: "You're sucking white d**k!" Another white male and I that happened to be co-workers on our way to a bar; black guy says: "Yeah but are you gonna marry her!" WHAT THE HELL! This, in the ocean of black guys dating white women. I can only suppose that most black guys are duplicitous and schizophrenic on the subject. Yeah I watch what people DO not what they say. WORDS MEAN NOTHING, ACTIONS MEAN EVERYTHING. (Who do you think you are, Jane Goodall researching some damn monkeys. You sound like a Klan member.) Where are you going with this? Are you trying to say I’m a racist now? You are a manipulative punk and I don’t buy into your tricky use of language here. (You must not watch too much TV) I can’t believe you wanted to use that as leverage, NO I don’t watch much TV, guess what? Nobody should! That’s where all these headaches come from in the first place, unrealistic expectations! (Are you that pathetic of a person yourself, that a black man cannot improve his lot in life by being with you?) Does everything have to be spelled out. WHITES ARE PRIVILEDGED. BM are capitalizing on it. If that last statement about finding it pretty much anywhere and everywhere refers to easy sex then guess what? You still need to control yourselves, women should not be burdened with controlling YOUR sexual urges. YOU CONTROL THEM. If women did, then you’d be calling them Prudes and Teases, isn’t that right QUEENIE? AND NOW FOR YOU QUEENIE. Let me start by making a request to see the face behind he words, why hide? YOU DON’T WANT WHITE MEN TO WANT BLACK WOMEN AND YOU WANT BLACK WOMEN TO FEEL REJECTED. Plain and simple. You call them names like “nappy head” Ichabod how do you feel about that? Is that slander? What is that? YOU HATE BLACK WOMEN PERIOD. Ichabod is that clear to you? You said he “respects all women” On what planet do they consider that respect? 1 (Peanut head there is no black male shortage. Black women are too picky and spoiled. Shawn the mechanic is single but you don’t date him because his clothes get dirty.) 2 (Ain’t nobody told you to sleep with Tyrone that you KNEW had different chicks. Instead you fuck up and your on that long ass line waiting to put him on child support.) SO QUEENIE, WHICH ONE IS IT? These are your own words crashing head-on in a train wreck. Too picky or not picky enough? Dumbass. And there IS a black male shortage compared to how many black women are available. 1 out of 15 ARE in prison. BUT you just have it the way you want it with 6 black women and 12 white women lined up for the attention of one black guy. What man would want to give that up? After all you said so yourself … (Men don’t have to keep their pants on. We are men.) (Why the fuck should we straighten up when you make it so easy.) (Then on top of that have a bad attitude/) Already gone over that… (and an addiction to the fridge.) That might very well be depression which of course you’d care nothing about since BW are SOOO worthless to you. Yes many black women get depressed from living such a joyless existence in this country where they are marginalized (by the larger society AND by Black Men like you) If black women are so worthless to you and are such screw-ups then you should take my advice too and MOVE ON. Find a woman more worthy of a short-sighted, evil, mouth-breathing, slack jawed trochladyte like yourself and MOVE ON.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 15 Apr 09
Anytime I hear a black man or black woman using one another as excuses for dating outside of the race, it really gets under my skin. The same applies to why women go for other women. "Men aren't good enough so the only option is another women?" Though I've never heard that come from gay men.
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teesha says:Posted: 15 Apr 09
These comments are a trip. But i must say there's a reason behind every one that is posted. mr. queens i must say you got me smiling everytime i read something you've written. like i said b4, there are some black women out there who will degrade black men in a minute. i know of some women like that cause i deal with some of them on a daily basis. something u said got my attention. i know you've written before that you went to college and graduated. which is a great thing im happy for you. you have all rights to upgrade in life. but for some reason its like you're saying their bashing u because u alway talking about that. what i want u to realize is that it goes both ways. you know well as i do, that there are some black men who wouldnt even look in a black womens direction the minute they start climbing the social ladder. yeah they use to date their black women, when things werent all glittery. the same way u can say that some black women, kiss up under a white man's ass, goes the same for a black man. some would get their selves involves in sports like, hockey, golf, sky diving just to be around some white folks who like those things. damn well they know they hate the shit. some say u must do what u must to get where u want. it is true, but at what expense. some black men dont get credit enough, which i know their trying their hardest. yeah some sistas wont see any use for them, thats where i can agree with u on certain things. like i said with me being raised in central america, and seeing how things operate here in the u.s thats why i can understand where you're coming from. but like i said b4 its not just black women, women of other races too. they would diss their own race for another. just one thing i wanted to make clear is the same way u can say a black woman would diss a black man for a white man, a black man would diss a black woman for a white woman. im not just talkin for talk sakes. like the other day i was watching bet music videos. and bow wow new video came out. and it seems like the girl he was with was either hispanic or white. it got me thinking, why most of the time in these videos, they always have light skin women or even white, more than they do black. yeah in some other videos, they have the black women in there, but what they doing, shaking their ass or what not. but with nice songs, they mostly have a mix or just str8 white girl. at the same time, its not like the producers or anybody put a gun to the womans head and say u will be in this particular video. they chose to do it. im not saying its just black women at fault to certain things, but women period. when i hear someone commenting bout, the woman having different baby daddies,and what not, sometimes i believe they had a choice in making it be like that. now i know there are some men who, the minute the woman gets pregnant, leaves and dont want anything to do with her or the child. so its not always the women's fault, some men wont man up period. they willing to lay with the woman and when responsibility comes, they run. like i said b4, its a 2 way street to alot of things. cause everything comes down to the choices we make. i had an encounter once. it was a black man who was trying to get with me. but something about him just wasnt right. he looked familiar and i knew i've seen him somewhere b4. where i live has a lot of military base and thats where he lived, cause i seen him there b4. anyways, in order to live on that base, u gotta be married. coming to find out his wife was white. what im trying to say is that its funny how sometimes a black man would choose a white woman over their own any day, but when their dick is hard, they wanna creep at night with a sista. i already knew what he was up to and what he's about cause he done that b4. he's proud to be seen in public with his white wife, but yet he be in the club at night trying to get a sister number. so like i said it goes both ways. i str8 up asked him, arent you married. he said yes, but what those that have to do with anything. see when men dont matter what skin color, cheats on his wife or trying to cheat, is a total turn off for me. i for one, dont date married men, period. dont care if he was bill gates, thats not my place to come between a woman and her husband and cause misery. another example, my ex boyfriend. he's was black and i was the first woman he ever let moved in with him. he the type that wanted to do what he wanted and i shouldnt say a thing. dunno who the hell he took me for, but im not putting up with that shit. respect goes both ways. they reason why him and i broke up was because he wanted to be on the phone 3 or 4 in the morning talkin to other women. anyone would agree, thats wrong. i asked him what if it was i who was doing it. he quick to say he wouldnt care, but we both know that aint true. he was a str8 up charlatan. he mistreated me in a lot of ways, then ended up regreting the fact i left him. he use to always say he will never date a white woman. the reason i said he was a charlatan was because most of these females friends he was on the phone with at night, would dish money out to him like crazy, due to the lies he would tell them. after he realize that, they not giving him money like usual, and the women who were giving him money was black, he cuss them out. he was the type who wanted his way with you, if he couldnt he'll str8 up lie about u like theres no tomarrow. like i said the women stop giving him money, so guess who he ended up with. a white woman, to support his shit. i know someone will comment or even disagree bout what i've written, but i believe i made myself clear.
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malarki5 says:Posted: 15 Apr 09
@ Ichibod, you are my brother for sure! Do please check out Black Men Confronting Lies and Distortions for a thorough-going expose of the type of Black women your comments allude to. Maybe post a comment yourself...you are more than welcome. Menlik Charles London
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Member says:Posted: 15 Apr 09
Bunny you make excellent points. I try to be civil with "some of these" black women. Instead they want to censor because I call it like I see it. I want black women to be successful in relationships. Instead they use these division tactics by using white men against black men. I don't have a problem with white men. I have a problem with black women who bash black men. Then turn around and kiss white ass. I wish I could have a civil discourse with "these women" if I wasn't disgusted by their nasty attitudes and tight clothes. Why other races of women don't bash their own race of men in the media? Latin women don't do it. Asian women don't do it and they are the biggest sellouts. White women do it on occasion but it is never to the point of hatred. Then we get the bad reputation because I slap them across the face for trying to disrespect us. Black men work hard to get where they are in society. The media says 1 out of 4 black men are under the penal system or probation. What about the other three doing the right thing. Ask any successful black man they will tell you. There is jealousy and envy from everyone. The say you with a white girl because you are successful. Like that diminishes our success. Ask yourself why he is so repelled by your ass to even entertain a white woman that never grew up in his community. That's the sad part about the whole thing. It is not the white woman's fault. It's your fault he is with a white woman. I am not going to apologize to sellouts. They wouldn't say shit if a white man picked them last. How am I going to respect a black woman that wanted to be picked last. Your on E Harmony and the white man don't even check the box for you to come up in his database. Then he does the database check and he says all the black girls are obese. This from a white man. He is telling you look you got be this certain standard to be with my privileged white ass. Yet, black men actively search for you on dating databases. What the fuck is wrong this picture. To be honest with you. Most black men don't even blog. They write you off like your a joke. What makes a white man's family so important that you have to go out of YOUR WAY to be accepted by them. As if your beneath other women. If a white man introduces a white girl to his family. There is no scrutiny at all. Yet, you want to be subjected to that. Then burn bridges with black men. Stand in the mirror backwards because you can't face yourself in the mornings.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 15 Apr 09
We actually try to bring people 'up' to our level. It's a tireless fight, but the battle rages on.
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Member says:Posted: 15 Apr 09
Now are are pulling people down " to our level". Ich articulates us so well. Unfortunately, it goes over the sellout black girls head. I speak bluntly about the facts and statisitics about black women. Everybody is afraid of the word desperation. Black women are desperate and I don't use it as being negative. I use it to motivate them to look at the big picture. Many of these sellout black women should thank me for standing up for them. Come to think of it, they should thank many black men that comment here. That forces white men to either be with your seriously or their will be hell to pay. I never look for credit because people say I hate black women. They say oh you don't care about them. I wouldn't write my blog if I didn't care about black women. I wouldn't have only dated black women for my whole life. I follow what I preach. No disrespect to the black men who date white women. Some say I don't come down on black men with white women. I will say it 20 more times. Black men that were overlooked in high school and college end up dating white women. That is squarely the fault of black women. I will use (sign language) your nappy headed fault. I have never met a black man in my lifetime that grew in the black community or another community even, not say their first crush was a black woman. Even black men who date white women tell you WHY they do it. Sellout black women on the other hand, they date white men out of spite, jealousy and desperation. They can't even bring themselves to criticize a white man. A white man can make excuse for them not to meet his dog and she will believe it! He can say well "my parents" think your hair is nappy. Black women will shrug and say "I hope they accept me". Where the fuck is your pride and dignity????? Some sellout black women are so bitter and angry they attack me for going to college and graduating. Their look "oh you work a little cable job" kissing the teeth and finger waving at me with their dirty fake nails. Yet they are in tremendous debt and expect a white man to pay off their career student college loan debts. Oh yea and hear them nag day in and day out. I am not going to apologize to none of them. I don't date white women but they been nicer to me than a spoiled obese black girl. I got black female friends all of them highly educated. Their nice women don't get me wrong. They just think they have to "control" a man. It is better to be an emasculated white man because black women will suddenly go to the gym for you. They will pay 80 percent of the bills. All you have to do is exist with your white skin. That's the problem with professional black men. We don't want anything easy. I want you to do things for us out of caring. Not because you are a maid. Your a maid for the white boy. You don't say to the white boy "do you think I am a maid". I ain't marry you for you to gossip to your nappy headed friends that have been failures in every relationship they have been in. Yet, they giving out advice like cake at a church picnic. Nor did I marry you to cook for myself. If I was going to cook and do laundry for myself. I would have packed your shit and leave your stuff at a white man's door nearby. Since you love the white boy so much. He won't hold your feet to the fire. You want to be lazy be with a white man! I am out!
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Ichibod says:Posted: 15 Apr 09
Thank you, Bunny and World Citizen (MC World Citizen, makes a cool rap name). I tend to get very anger at times, and I understand how such angry words can often shroud very valid, important messages. I try my best, but it is very hard, not only when a person claims their opinions to be fact, but when things are said regarding gender or race that are so outrageously offensive and non-applicable to an entire group. I've always been the type of person who listens to what a person has to say first, and use how they say it to determine what type of person I am actually dealing with and how I handle those persons or how I conduct myself regarding those persons going foward. A boss can be a jerk when giving orders, but do what you're paid to do, and be prepared to either find another or don't give him/her any reasons. I have a lot of respect Mr LQ. Like I said, I listen to what a person has to say first. He is a very angry guy and is quit to admit it. He respects all women. He's specific in the types of women (notably black women) that he is unpleased with. I have to agree with him. Bunny, you are the type of woman and your comment is one that I wish I could see more of in these blogs. Someone that when giving a topic to discuss, you can express your opinions about how to better approach a situation or offer solutions and viewpoints with unbias. It's okay to color outside of the lines is the "moral" of this website, yet many people gives reasons to why it's better or imparative that you do so. And a lot of those reasons show where the persons with those reasons and opinions need help. I am interested in all ethnicites. I am a black man that can exercise my options, and that even includes my option to date black women. I can respect a black woman who dates white men because of their physical attraction to or any common ground that they have found with the ones they have met. I have an immense dislike for black women who have exhausted their search for a good black man, therefore had gone to white men. I find it very disrepectful and it makes it appear as though it is out of desparation when that is their reason. I'm sure when they find a white man, he would generally suit their desires in man, but only after insulting black men, such as myself. The healing must start. They claim to be so smart and intelligent, yet ignore or are unaware of the factors that cause such a widespread epidemic. Thank you for your critique, and it is enjoyable to know folks like you are around to help set the record straight.
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Member says:Posted: 15 Apr 09
STORM09, ICHIBOD, JORDAN and all of you who are well informed and open minded commentators - do you realize - With all the FACTS you mention about what happened to black slaves up to today's situation for black women and men in the U.S., instead of listening and learning, some, too many - are apparently unable to understand - or perhaps they are blinded with hate. I am sure that some of them had a very unfair start in life and have struggled up to now. But once you come to realize your problem, YOU and only YOU can change it. WAKE UP, you negatively thinking women and men, and stop trying to pull others down to your miserable level. Stop feeling like a victim. Take a shower, cool off and get a good book to read, start jogging to sweat out your anger, go and buy a canvas, some colors which appeal to you, and express your anger this way. You will find the REAL YOU. You will not only get to know yourself better, but surprise yourself and thereby learn to like and respect yourself as well as others - and save money spent on a shrink! You will loose your obsession with having to date someone for mainly sexual reasons, as you will have a better bases for an interesting, serious relationship with any 'color'. GO FOR IT and tell us about your success.
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Bunny says:Posted: 15 Apr 09This is one of the problems putting so much focuse on race. Come on guys do your stats there are alot more women in the world than men and sometimes it is a challenge to find a good man. Black, white, green or any color. Truth be told there are issues among black men and sometimes sisters. You can't point the finger without point it at the other. I'm going to tell the truth. It is hard to find a decent man of any race or color it seems like all they want is to jump in the bed. Even when you tell them you want to take your time or get to know them. I'm not saying they are not out there but i speaking the truth from a female point of view. Men as well as woman need to take responsiblity for their own actions. It takes two to tango. Why does it always have to be the woman's responsiblity to be the one to get fixed. Guys can wrap it up too. But I do think all women should be responsible as well. Men and woman have desires too so don't just make it like it's all on the women. Guys have a problem of being double standard, you have to use your head too. Guys tend to think with their lower half and not their heads at times when they should be using their heads. Sometimes women do but honestly men are just like that. I'm not saying all men are like that but most are. Mr Laurelton Queens I respect the fact that you work hard for what you have and so have I. Nothing was handed to me on a silverspoon. I can't understand how you can sit here and say all the rude and mean things about black women. If you really wanted to voice your opinion then do it. But you should say it in a way that will make people listen to you. You don't have to try and make it special for anyone. What you don't seem to understand is, it's not what you say all the time. It is the way and the manner in which you do it. No one is listening to what you really have to say. Your message is being lost because everyone is getting upset and mad at the things you are saying instead of paying attention to the message you are trying to voice. I don't understand why you want to tear black women down including yourself. As rude and stupid you are being is proving what the woman are saying about black men. You want to show them that there are black men that are better act like it and prove them wrong. Haven't we had enough of being torn down and tearing each other down. Why don't you say some words of encouragement about black men so that all can listen to you. That is a problem sometimes our people spend so much time tearing ourselves down than building oursevles up. Like it or not things are going to change not all black women will be with black men. And not all black men will be with black women. Whoever a person wants to date or be with is up to them. And face it we all are going to see things we don't like on telvision or in topics that's life. If's there's one things i've learned from history is to learn from the mistakes of the past. And you need to take a long hard look at history and try not to repeat them. Whatever a person's preference is, is there business you don't have to wake up everyday and be with that person or look at them. The one that has chosen that partner will. So you know what guys forget what everyone else says. If you liste to other people all the time you will never be happy. Just listen to yourself and make your own decision who you want to be with no matter what race, or color. A man and woman should be looked at most for their character not for the color of their skin. That's the most important thing. We all have come so far just never close your mind because things will continue to change and if you don't change with the times you will get left behind. What was common yesterday maynot be what is common today or what is accepted. Mr Laurelton Queens I seem like a smart and intelligent man. Hopefully the chip you are carrying on your shoulder will be lifted. I have met some smart and intelligent your black men and they are out there. Not all of them are bad. But just like there are good and bad black females. There are also males and that's just the plains truth. I mean you have some people who fall through the cracks no matter what i've seen it. I know i am not perfect but I'm happy with who I am and that's the most important thing. It really doesn't matter what you say but your arrongance is your blindess and your mask, and your rudeness will mute you everytime. Be wise and season your words with salt and remember the way and how you say things. What goes around comes around you just remember that.
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Member says:Posted: 15 Apr 09
Love to all! let's come together in peace and harmony. God made us in many different shades of color, like a beautiful rainbow. Let us cherish God's creation. He made no mistakes in mankind. All of these comments about degrading one another; instead, let's try to help and encourage one another. Love starts from within. If you don't love yourself, then how can you love others? For single men and women out there; regardless of your race, creed, or nationality, there is someone for everyone. We just have to be patient and allow God to direct our paths instead of leaning upon our own understanding. My advice is to avoid negative people as much as possible because they can rob you of your joy and blessings if you allow them to. Be strong and courageous and remember that God loves you, even if no one else does. Your special and beautiful in His eyes. Be blessed and be happy!!!
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Member says:Posted: 15 Apr 09
I like black and white men but feel more comfortable with black men. I get along with my own kind (black men) very well. I also get along with white men, when they are in my presence. I believe that it has alot to do with your geographical location of where you live. I have noticed that down in the south, white men seem to be afraid to approach me, even though they will look and smile because I am attractive to them. However, when I was in the military and stationed at Fort Hood, Texas, I was approached by numerous white men and hispanic men. The white men appeared to be more bold in approaching me. By the way, I am not the sterotypical black woman that society has labeled us as. I am very unique in my own way to the point where my own race does not even understand me well. I draw black men like a magnet(they admire me and respect me) and I attract alot of white guys as well. Believe it or not, I am not a BET video girl and I am dark toned and peitite with a pretty face and smile. In my area, South Carolina, it seems that some white men are actually insecure of approaching me (perhaps because the south is more racist than any other part of the country). Apart from being beautiful, I am educated, I talk appropriately, I am very friendly, outgoing, open-minded, fun to be around and inspiring. God Bless!
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Shannon1972 says:Posted: 15 Apr 09Well after reading the other comments they make me glad I am who I am. I think you should date who you like. Who ever you date is a choice you make. If you make a bad choice it does not mean all men or women of that race are bad or no good. It just means you need to pick better. I also think before we start playing the blame game we should look at our selfs and see what are we doing wrong as a person.
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Member says:Posted: 15 Apr 09
(Loosening up my tie) I read some of the tirades of the black women on here. Their stories always start off with "Well I dated all types of men. White, Black, Indian, midgets. See that is the problem "you was dating all types of men". The goal is one man to spread your legs too. Black women are dating white men out of desperation. When you have to say things like " I don't know why they are scared to approach me". Guess what, they may not be interested in a long term serious relationship with you. Jordan made some good points. Why black women have to go on CNN, Ebony and Eseence magazine to broadcast they want a white man because they are desperate. I wonder if Sole"dud" will do CNN "To be a desperate black woman in America series"! American is obsessed with pairing a "white washed" black woman with a emasculated pasty white man. I see these black women on television they look like "white women" with GAP clothes on and red lip stick and Khakis on. KHAKIS?? Amazing how fast black women give up their culture and identity to fit into a white man's comfort zone. Pretending to like her white boyfriend's white female family members. You know damn well you don't like them Tameka. Peanut with your "peanut head". Black men treat you according to how you treat yourself. If you carry yourself with some respect. Then we will respect you. Peanut head there is no black male shortage. Black women are too picky and spoiled. Shawn the mechanic is single but you don't date him because his clothes get dirty. Plenty of black men that work hard for a living doing blue collar work. These sellout black women act like they don't exist unless they need their car fixed or furniture moved. Most of the time because their white man to lazy to move a television. White man rather hire Mexicans to move his shit. I don't want to hear about a black male shortage. That's all media hype. Oprah "Wimprey" Yea "Wimprey" with her prada shoes hanging off her feet. She rather uphold polygamist pedophile white men that got underage wives. Then talk about every day hard working black men. I hate to break the news to pathetic sellout black women. Black men carry their sons and daughters to school. Yea even some pick them up from school. You would be surprised some even cook! Yea I blame her ass, black women for being single mothers and using family court like an ATM machine. Why should you be REWARDED for being a dumb ass. Ain't nobody told you to sleep with Tyrone that you KNEW had different chicks. Instead you fuck up and your on that long ass line waiting to put him on child support. Most of the time it ain't even worth it because you don't get much. The family court system makes money off your ass. You are stopping him from making an income. Now everybody is losing. Men don't have to keep their pants on. We are men. You are women, you have some form of control. If all black women said look " I ain't sleeping with you until I am married". Guess what a good of amount of black men would straighten up. Why the fuck should we straighten up when you make it so easy. Then on top of that have a bad attitude and an addiction to the fridge. I am out. I plan to do a new post about the allegedly shortage of black men. Also that down low myth. Black women getting duped by a gay black homosexual. How the fuck you get duped by a gay black man. You shouldn't be allowed to bear children. They should sterilize you if you can't tell a straight black men from a gay black man. I am gone
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Ichibod says:Posted: 15 Apr 09
I can't believe this, even after I gave you the benefit of a doubt. So the concepts of history, cause and effect, if you're not part of the solution you're part of the problem, and black men had to have black mothers to raise them completly elude you. You rather for black men to live lonely, and suffer extinction than to realize that the last thing our brothers, fathers, uncles, cousins, and sons need to hear is this slander. I had my dad in my life. He is my man and while he was deployed, my mom made sure she had two sons studying, eating, praying, and staying out of juvie. I have two cousins that are both married to white men and they would never say anything that negative about black men knowing their dad was the support behind them and their mother. You take a jab at me as a black man, then your spitting in my mom's face, making her child rearing capabilities seem futile and worthless. How dare you? Are there no black men who treat their black women right? Are there no white men who treat their black women wrong? You said that you: "watched patterns carefully, more importantly I have watched “behavior” carefully. I am not wrong about any of it." Who do you think you are, Jane Goodall researching some damn monkeys. You sound like a Klan member. My comment about: "we can find it, we can find it pretty much anywhere, everywhere, and fast." You must not watch too much TV. Woman have become more and more oversexed. If you're not apart of the Sex in the City crowd, then good. If you are, then COME ON!! You can't really pretend to not know what I'm talking about!!! Geez, are you crazy!!! If these women weren't giving it up, then it would be rape. Oh, maybe that would explain your 1 out of 15. If 14 out of 15 black men aren't in prison, then black women just give up the search. My lot in life is just fine, I don't need a women of a dfferent race. Are you that pathetic of a person yourself, that a black man cannot improve his lot in life by being with you? Or you don't really care enough about black men to help them. Just forget about them and move on you say. Get real!
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Cardamon2009 says:Posted: 15 Apr 09
I disagree with Chris Rock, black women are not angry because we're not attracted to white men, we're disappointed that there is a shortage of decent black men. I for one am not deterred, God doesn't close a door without opening a window, therefore I'm open to dating a "good" man and race is secondary.
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Peanut says:Posted: 14 Apr 09
Icibod, you are twisting things as I assume you probably will continue to do until you exhaust yourself and me. I never said black men were "underachievers" I said they were not treating black women right and bw should move on. In any case I have thought long and hard about these issues and watched patterns carefully, more importantly I have watched "behavior" carefully. I am not wrong about any of it. (Who wants a wife that isn’t a wife according to nature, but a wife on her own or societies terms? An woman in charge and control of her own sexuality, a man will get it where he can find it. A lot of woman find that their sexual independence gives them a license to whore. Not only do we have to get it where we can find it, we can find it pretty much anywhere, everywhere, and fast.) I'm sorry what does this mean? maybe you should re-write it, it just doesn't make sense. Mr. Queens, there is in fact a black male shortage, in 2007 1 out of 15 black men were in prison here in the US. Compare that to 1 in 106 for WM. Those are the facts, BW cannot and should not count on you being "available" anymore. So a certain percentage is also gay, under 18, over 60 in poor health, mentally unstable so that shrinks the numbers drastically. What exactly do you expect black women to do with these numbers? You blame black women for being single parents too? Oh, that's right she was a shrew so he HAD to leave her. If she was such a shrew then why was he sleeping with her? I guess it's MEN that need to keep their pants on, right Mr. Queens? First wave of your assault? please don't make me laugh, just BRING IT! That goes for you too MR. QUEENS, BRING IT!!
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JordanMardan says:Posted: 14 Apr 09"In my opinion, the above statements suggest Black women only date interracially out of desperation." I don't view that as "desperation." I would like to ask "Why is there so much focus on Black men and Black women?! Don't white men get angry when they see white women with African-/Asian-/Latino- or Native "American" men?! Don't white women get angry when they see white men with African-/Asian-/Latino- or Native "American" men?! Do Asian men get angry when they see Asian women with white men?! Stop focusing EXCLUSIVELY on Black men and women. That is racist. John L.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 14 Apr 09
Since slavery, and I really hate to keep bringing that up, black men were intentionally placed in a position of low regard. This notion was presented to the black woman, especially. Black men being considered 'nobody' still exist today, yet not too many people know or understand the origins of it. Like some of the comments made by Peanut, sweety, that really is not fair what you have to say about black men and men in general. The so called 'attitude' that black women have is manufactured. It is not natural, and it is not the result of black male underachievement. It is a manufactured reaction to the black male predisposition to fail instilled in us at slavery. Slavery was abolished over a hundred years ago you say? Well, where in slavery was the idea of family values ever presented or practiced amongst families that were constantly torn apart? I've have a problem with people saying that black men fear committment and/or leave their families. Many of them had no plans to have children, a family, or of ever marrying their baby moms which brings the black woman's credibility into question just as much as it does the black man's. Not to mention a black woman gives birth to these black men. She's just as much as responsible for their upbringing and well being as they are, more importantly the first 18 years of their lives. Ever hear of a woman calling up their man's mom when he acts up? Men do still want to marry. The Woman's Liberation movement has skewed the lines of why a women is to be desired in a man's eyes over the decades. Woman have shaken off the ideas that traditionally defined what a wife was supposed to be. Inclusion in many public forums such as business, politics, military, and industry has helped to change or destroy these ideas. I'm not against women in these public arenas, but men were never acclimated to the transition, just forced to accept it. New social ideas take generations to root themselves into society because people accustomed to old ways don't agree with them. They must first die off or in some other manner lose their voice or rights regarding decision making to erradicate the old consciousness. Later generations are be born into a world where they learn nothing but the order at present and are taught that the old order as merely one that failed. However, the new order re-writes a man responsibilities that is contrary to nature in favor of one that is simply more tolerable. Who wants a wife that isn't a wife according to nature, but a wife on her own or societies terms? An woman in charge and control of her own sexuality, a man will get it where he can find it. A lot of woman find that their sexual independence gives them a license to whore. Not only do we have to get it where we can find it, we can find it pretty much anywhere, everywhere, and fast. This issue is much to serious to result in immature finger-pointing and false truths. If your comment was merely an observation derived from various discussions, as I see there are multiple bulleted points, then don't take this as an attack against men/black men. However, if this is how you personally feel, consider this as the first wave of my assault! By the way, where is Mr Laurelton Queens when you need him?
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mecca99 says:Posted: 14 Apr 09
teesha girl you know i can relate.. ignore laurelton if we put him on block he can argue with himself.. hes lonely and bitter , as you can see he has no since of culture hes stuck in a time warp. misery loves company . i know his kind. next week he be with a whitewoman . who cares. anywho. i feel you. i date whom i want. i get it a lot why whitemen. men are men regardless of color i just happen to find a man that suited for me. i am beyond superficial nonsense. its called mental and spirtual growth. I refuse to be bitter. and waste energy on madness. life is too short.. women should expand their options. i dated japanese. indian native american so what!,, i am glad i take chances laurelton fears his manhood. that if he can find it. seriously. and your right teesha we do not put up with shit white or black men. we are women we are not that cynical. men today i find cannot deal with todays women because. we are no longer step and fetch bitches... yes sir . no sir. okay sir. shittt .. give me a break.!
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malarki5 says:Posted: 14 Apr 09
Candi13 said: "As far as Chris Rock ’s theory of desperation he may be experiencing some angst becase he belongs to the crowd that is not being picked..." Menelik says: sista friend, you cannot be serious! A rich and famous man is not picked last by any race of woman. Do we need evidence to show that Mr Rock is one of the most sought after men in America...for reasons of wealth and fame? Candi13 said: "Black men have no clue when it comes to dating an independent and successful woman. This may not apply to ALL black men but it applies to those I have dated and those my girls have dated..." Menelik replies: if we combine what you wrote with what some Black men are saying about white women in relation to Black women, we may realise that even the those Blacks making such comments are really in a bad place i.e. they are not truly open to dating another to begin with (self-hate, anyone?)! Strange thing is, when such Blacks are used or hurt by whites (especially Black women) you won't hear a bad word spoken of the white user/abuser. It appears as though such Blacks are comfortably projecting and displacing their own unwanted 'niggerness' onto other Blacks. Anyway, Candi I wonder if you'd compare Black women favourably to white women. Oh, of course you would, dear, of course you would! menelik charles London England
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Peanut says:Posted: 14 Apr 09
I have read almost all the posts and here is my ugly truth. Try real hard to swallow this because it answers many questions and clears many things up: BLACK MEN DATE OTHER RACES TO TRY TO IMPROVE THEIR LOT IN LIFE "I AM REALLY A MAN NOW BECAUSE I AM WITH A WHITE, ETC. WOMAN" WHITE MEN DON'T DATE BLACK WOMEN MUCH BECAUSE THEY FEEL IT MAKES THEM LOOK LIKE A LOSER. "THIS IS ALL I COULD GET" OR BECAUSE THEY ARE INTIMIDATED BY BOTH BLACK MEN AND WHITE WOMEN FOR DOING SO. EITHER WAY THEY ARE SOCIAL COWARDS WHO'D SOONER BUNGI JUMP FROM A BRIDGE THAN PUT THEMSELVES IN A POSITION TO BE "EMBARRASSED" PUBLICLY. BLACK MEN SECRETLY HATE BLACK WOMEN AND DON'T WANT TO SEE THEM MOVE FORWARD AND BE HAPPY. THAT'S WHY THEY INTIMIDATE THE BW/WM COMBO IN THE STREETS. WHITE WOMEN SECRETLY HATE/ ENVY BLACK WOMEN AND DON'T WANT TO SEE THEM HAPPY. THAT'S WHY THEY GIVE WM WHO DATE BW THE LOOK THAT SAYS "WHAT A LOSER." AND THE BLACK WOMAN GETS "WHO THE HELL DOES SHE THINK SHE IS?" BLACK MEN ALWAYS COMPLAIN THAT BW HAVE ATTITUDES BUT NEVER THINK ABOUT THE THINGS THEY DO TO HER TO CAUSE IT, IE: CHEATING, LOOKING AT OTHER WOMEN IN HER PRESENCE (I DON'T CARE HOW NATURAL IT IS, IT'S DISRESPECTFUL AND YOU ALL DAMN WELL KNOW IT), NEGLECTING HER, DISREGARDING HER FEELINGS COUNTLESS TIMES, DESERTING HER WHEN PREGNANT, NEVER, EVER MARRYING HER (AND YOU SAY WM DON'T MARRY THEM...YOU DONT'! YOU ALMOST NEVER HAVE! AND ALSO JUST PLAIN TREATING HER LIKE HER FEELINGS DON'T MATTER JUST BECAUSE SHE'S NOT "HOT" IF SHE'S NOT HOT ENOUGH FOR YOU THEN YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DATED HER IN THE FIRST PLACE. BLACK WOMEN ARE TRYING TO DATE WM NOW BECAUSE THEY HAVE FINALLY DECIDED TO MOVE ON AND STOP SERVING UP TO BLACK MEN THIS UNDESERVED LOYALTY THAT THEY SURE AS HELL DON'T GIVE TO YOU AS BLACK WOMAN THAT STOOD BY THEM FROM SLAVERY, THROUGH THE CR MOVEMENT AND BEYOND. THEY HAVE JUST RAN TO HIDE BEHIND WW SKIRTS TO SAVE THEMSELVES WHILE THROWING US UNDER A BUS. LOOK AT THE WAY ABOUT 5-6 OF THE BLACK MEN ON THIS CHAIN HAVE DISPARAGED BLACK WOMEN, THEY JUST HATE US AND WANT OTHER MEN TO AS WELL BUT YOUR JOB AS BLACK WOMEN IS TO MOVE ON. BM HAVE HAD DECADES TO GET THIS RIGHT AND THEY SIMPLY "DON'T WANT TO" FINALLY THE DAMNED TRUTH IS NO MAN WANTS TO GET MARRIED. THEY ALL JUST WANT TO BE SINGLE. AND EVEN IF THEY DO WANT TO GET MARRIED THEY JUST WANT IT FOR A LITTLE WHILE, 3 MAYBE 4 YEARS THEN THEY WANT OUT. THEY WANT TO LEAVE THE KIDS WITH YOU THEN FUCK AROUND UNTIL THEY ARE ABOUT 65-70 THEN THEY WANT TO SETTLED BACK WITH YOU (THE EX) OR SOME OTHER WOMAN (CARETAKER).
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teesha says:Posted: 14 Apr 09
It's so crazy that this is an interracial site, but yet we find some reason to argue bout who date who and why. personally, i would date whoever as long as they treat me right. i dont have time nor patience to worry bout skin color. im a black woman, if anyone read what i've written, where im from we dont worry bout that nonsense. one thing i will say, that are some black men, who wouldnt even look at their own black woman for whatever reason. im not here to judge anyone or do i have that right to. i agree u date who u wanna date, but if you diss you're own race for another, thats where i can have a problem with it. some people say they date outside their race because of what someone of their skin color had done to them. if that's what they person choose to do, well do it. one thing i will never diss or put down my black men for no other race. my dad's black, grandfather etc. so i have the respect to know where i came from, their my roots. but also if i choose to be with someone out of my race, it sure wouldnt be because of what men of my own skin color done to me. i will admit, i mostly dated black men and will continue if he treats me well. i been with a black man who hit me, pointed a gun in my face, but still i wont diss my black men cause not all of them are like that. i've dated puerto rican, dominican, and even a man from romania. i just dont have time to worry bout his skin color, i just dont. i've been called sell out by my own people, but they have a right to say what they want, just like i have a right to be with who i wanna be with. like i said i will never diss my race to big up another. but one thing i must say. some black men only date outside their race, because some of us black women wont put up with certain bullshit. for example, i have a cousin who's wife is japanese. he met her over there, while he was deployed there. they got married and have a son. he always been the type to wanna have his way. we grew up together, he got on my last nerves cause i wasnt allowed to go certain places because he would tell my grandparents some bs and they believe it. one day he made a comment that the reason he dont date black women is because we're stubborn, not understanding, just wanna party alot of bullshit. he was in cali at the time he said that cause i would have hit him right n da face. what got me so pissed about the whole thing is, he the type that loves to have control in a relationship. now his wife is regreting it because, he wont allow her to have friends, he doesnt give her any money. he ups and leaves when he wants and she not suppose to say anything. he doesnt think that a black woman, should be over him, financially or in whatever situation. but im not saying that only black men are like that. you'll find some men of every race are like that. what i dont like is the way he degraded black women period, knowing his moms black, grandmother, sister, etc. he just want someone to control and i feel sorry for his wife cause she dont say a damn thing. she just let him do whatever and she sits and cry. no shit like that i cant stand. i would tell anyone in any situation, regardless of skin color that they deserves more. once again like i said, im not dissing my black men, never will, but i just wanna throw that out there so ya'll can understand why.
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Member says:Posted: 14 Apr 09
This is my hobby. I don't plan to stop anytime soon until I have a book deal and radio show. You have a nice day.
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2pretty11 says:Posted: 14 Apr 09Attraction is, always has been and will always be to each their own. I prefer to date Caucasian men because i am attracted to Caucasian men in all aspects while Black, Asian, Hispanic do absolutely nothing for me as far as being attracted to them. I do not think even for one second that it makes them losers or anything like that. For someone to use the phrase "sell out" to people they do not know at all i wonder who exactly they claim the person has betrayed. For anyone who takes time to be hurt by who strangers are dating they need to evaluate their lives and maybe get busy making themselves whole and leave everyone to their own business. Chris Rock on the other hand it's no secret that he makes a living telling jokes so why is one of his jokes on stage a topic for discussion. Take it for what it is and was meant to be a JOKE.
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mecca99 says:Posted: 13 Apr 09
laurelton give it a rest dude whats your point your a unhappy camper.. if your fiance says your rude it should tell you something.. we as humans can make choices on who we want to date. i like to date white and italian men .. thats my choice. give it a rest!! god!1 find a hobby.
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Member says:Posted: 13 Apr 09
I am back from my vacation in PA. I see some lovely women have commented. Everybody is commenting on disrespectful behaviors by black men. My fiancee says I am disrespectful. We argued about it over Easter Weekend. This my issue with black women. They have to many mood swings. Black men break their back for black women. The fundamental problem with black women some of them are spoiled. I am straight from the "bottom" and managed to get a college education and make it in life. I will be damned if you call me disrespectful because your dumb ass want to shop when we have to pay rent and bills. Professional black men get penalized for their success. Sellout black women making excuses for their desperation. Kissing the white man's ass and still being picked last by them. I don't care who you date just stop mentioning black men for you being desperate. If white men felt the same way you did. You would be married now. They would seek you out. Instead your wondering why they don't. You shouldn't be waiting around like a prostitute.
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lb4lb says:Posted: 13 Apr 09I date "other" women because they appreciate the struggle I have endured and where I am trying to go with my life. thats not to say that black women dont. historially, the black man has not been home and because of this most women dont know a good man when they encounter one until later in life. whitemen are generally in thier kids lives and give the girls an idea of what a man they should be attracted too, since girls usually are attracted to guys that are like thier daddy. i thgt what Rock said was true and funny but the historical reason had not been addressed as to why black women dont date outside as much. When the slave master wanted 'some' he went into the slave quarters and took a black woman and the other females witnessed this and told thier offspring and it has 'festered' in the hearts ever since. there are other things at play but i wont go into it!
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Member says:Posted: 13 Apr 09
IT IS NECESSARY TO RAISE INTERRACIAL QUESTIONS AND SHOULD LEAD TO LESS PREJUDICE - BUT: More than half of YOUR comments are considered trash by anyone who is a loving, caring, respectful, informed and thereby educated person. Ignorance is a crime, because it spreads prejudice and hatred. Many of you made excellent comments, often accompanied by your extraordinary and mostly very beautiful appearance. You are positive women and men who will make it thru life being accepted, appreciated and LOVED - again and again, because you see 'the glass half full', meaning life is worth living. Too many of you see 'the glass half empty' and spread negativity all around you. Too bad you learned to type your destructive ideas into these discussions, as now even more people are effected by your hatred. Instead of taking valuable time from people who have to speed read your garbage, you should rather spend time on getting some education. As you all know, two wrongs don't make a right. Subsequently, it is much harder for two ignorant people to make a relationship work. Besides all the wonderful, interesting impacts of interracial, intercultural relationships, it can also be a healing process to some individuals, who want to get out of their hopelessly negative environment. Even if these relationships break up sooner or later, as any other, they were mostly a wonderful experience which broadened the mind and strengthened at least one if not both. MY RESPONSE TO SOME OF YOUR IGNORANT COMMENTS: 1. Forget about the U.S. being the only country on earth - the world is growing closer each day! 2. Look into world history, other countries, other cultures. 3. People in Ireland feel as a whole? Forgot about recent violent hatred? 4. Blacks should have an African language in the U.S? Do you think there is such a thing as one African language? You are not even capable of the English language which you grew up with! By the way, English is a world language, no matter where you go, you will be able to communicate. Black slaves came from several African tribes which spoke different languages, subsequently they had problems with communication and identification. Now that you grew up with English, there is no excuse!!! 5. Most women and men want to improve their life, of course they tend to reach out for someone who fits into their puzzle. The ones who do not attempt to better themselves but stay in their misery will not only keep themselves there but drag others down to their level. Including their children. 6. Being overweight, because of sitting in front of the TV, looking at unrealistic junk, instead of exercising, eating freshly prepared food, keeping a clean place and educating yourself is YOUR choice. Do not blame anyone else for your boring life style. 7. It is a shame that you can't even spell you president's name correctly! Here it is: BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA 8. The president and his wife Michelle set an excellent example to what it takes to stop feeling like a victim. They both had to struggle very hard in every respect, to get where they are now. They had to work twice as hard as a white American, we all know this. They, however, both had families who gave them love and taught them real values which they now pass on to their daughters. You, who see Barack as a black American, is mistaken. He is just as much white. Just as there are probably hardly any really black Americans nowadays, And don't you dare think you 'got it made' because he'll take care of you. He will give you the option for education. Get going and stop talking trash! 9. You may believe in God and if you do so honestly, it will strengthen you. But do not expect God to give you a better life. It is your responsibility to love and respect yourself as well as others and life will be worth living. To all of you beautiful, colorful, open minded, loving, spiritual and positive thinking women and men in the U.S. and world wide, have a wonderful spring
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ninadevon says:Posted: 12 Apr 09
i personally prefer white men only because of the bad experiences i have had with other races. i've dated many races and i've had the least problems with them except for the fact that sometimes white men seem a bit intimidated by us. chris rock probably wrote something down thought it was funny and said it aloud to see what would happen. this is the outcome.
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candi13 says:Posted: 12 Apr 09
Hello all, I see this topic has stirred up some controversy between MR Laurelton and Jaquentin and I have to say I see where jaquentin is coming from. I think it ok for any race to date utside of their race for any reason. People are entitled to make decisions about their lives regardless of whom does not approve. I have dated black men and that is all I used to date for a while until I noticed a pattern of disrespectful behavior amongst the men I came across. These behaviors were not all the same but they all lead me to one conclusion-- Black men have no clue when it comes to dating an independent and successful woman. This may not apply to ALL black men but it applies to those I have dated and those my girls have dated 9enough evidence for me. In my experience white men are more thoughtful of what a woman wants in general-- she does not have to be black or white (yet the choice of what race she belongs to is theirs). There are things white men have exposed me to that no black man has and it may be based on individual character yeat it works for me. at the end of the day.. we (black, white, latino, asian, etc.) have our preferences and that's it. If you make the cut you do and if not, live and learn-- it may make you a better person in finding your flaws and doing something about them (increase your attraction factor). As far as Chris Rock 's theory of desperation he may be experiencing some angst becase he belongs to the crowd that is not being picked or he may just be making society aware of what is going on through comic relief. Either way he made money off it and it is controversial enough to keep the buzz going-- smart business man!! Sincerely, Candi
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storm09 says:Posted: 12 Apr 09Timbo649 I did agree with you up until the fat bellied comment...While you try and use observational statistics to make your point, you exclude the economics part of it...Poor people in general tend to be more obese because they are less likely to afford the foods to keep them healthy no matter the culture..Also, I don't know any African American women in 2009 who have more than 2 children in my generation..The multi-children single black household was the last generation. Since we are doing better economically now, we tend to eat better and limit how many children we have even in marriage..
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storm09 says:Posted: 12 Apr 09
I am amazed that the grown and sexy are even discussing this...I obviously didn't read all of the comments...Just one caught my attention and my thoughts and feelings fall in line with the young lady elle79 who posted her comment 03/23...I am browsing through this site because I am home alone this weekend and would rather be spending time with someone of the opposite sex..The color of his skin is no longer a criteria for me..I am now ready to look outside of the box and that is not desperation, that is realizing I was too comfortable inside the box and may be loosing out on finding someone who can truly love me the way I need to be loved..Character is much more important...I used to anticipate the differences in the culture being an issue..However our cultures are so blended now...Eating sodabread on St Patrick's day is now a tradition for me. Not that I was not attracted to white men. I never considered them until recently.
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chevale says:Posted: 12 Apr 09wow these comments are crazy. im a 45 year old black man and i have dated black, white, asian, and hispanic women. you know what the difference is? hair texture and skin color, oh and i will say their heritage. other than that women are all the same. i do however think it is true that the majority of black women choose not to date white men as easily as a black man would date a white woman. why is this? it can only be answered by that individual. it is said amongst black women that they dislike seeing a good or successful black man leave his race to start a relationship outside of his race. here it is in bold print and i hope i dont offend anyone. men in general, love beauty. some black men say they like white women better because they take better care of themselves physically. black women if you disagree with that, then why are there so few black women that have gym memberships? some black men say that black women just want a hand out or someone to feed them dollars. well in a black womans defense i have encountered a few white women that are money hungry as hell. some black men say that white women are just prettier. well i can say that there are some beautiful black women in this world. so what is the real answer? my ex-wife grew up as a racist. she did not like black people as they say out of their zone. but when she got to know me her whole world changed. the answer is only within the individual. we as people can only give our opinions. as to whether or not you are going to feel comfortable dating outside of your race.....only you can answer that. it is a choice that may or may not have some problems. my opinion is, make that choice with your heart and not with someone elses opinion.
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alikar says:Posted: 12 Apr 09
it's amazing to me that the most inflammatory remarks in these things are usually by those who don't have the CHUTZPAH to put their FACE behind their words! I mean really can we trust the words of a person who doesn't have enough self esteem to want a picture of themselves on the site? so sad.....SO sad.........
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PeaceStar says:Posted: 12 Apr 09I have read some of the posts but not all, and I agree with the contingent that believes Chris Rock is making a Chris Rock joke. The man works in the entertainment industry. He has probably seen more interracial couples than most of us combined. I have always dated white men. It has always been my personal preference. I do not hate black men, nor find them unattractive, it is just my preference to date white men. And you know what, it is not even all white men. I have a type and the vast majority of the time I stick with it. What I do love about this site is we all fill free to voice our opinions because we all think out of the box. Peace
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Zahara77 says:Posted: 11 Apr 09
Very interesting debate going on here. So far Ichibod seems to make the most sense to me. As far as the whole Chris Rock's stance on black women dating white men, he's still a comedian... So I take his opinion with a grain of salt.
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See, she managed to get post 2 comments up before I was able to get mine out. That's the benefit of the doubt that I was talking about. "I’m not the least bit attracted to ich. End that right there." That's cool.