Black women have no option?
Warning: This post may be offensive to some readers. This is not the objective. The post is in no way meant to defame or inflame any parties, groups or persons. It is simply meant to find out what people think about black white dating.
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In a bid to explain why Black women get upset about Black men dating White women, Chris Rock in his latest stand up comedy says all Black men have done is exercised their option. He goes on to say Black women are angry because they are not attracted to white men so they can’t exercise their option. All they can do is sleep with “pretty white boys" but generally, black women are not attracted to white men.
In my opinion, the above statements suggest Black women only date interracially out of desperation. In fact, most Black men believe so. And the finger pointing between Black men and Black women never ends. I don't think this is the case though and frankly, I have never understood why Black men and Black women have to come up with such crude and prejudiced remarks while trying to figure out the reasoning behind their counterparts' dating options. YES! Options.
What do you think of Chris Rock's theory?
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636 responses to "Black women have no option?"
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malarki5 says:Posted: 11 Apr 09
@Jacquientin, does one really need to be a "racist" in order to tell an uncomfortable truth? Chris Rock is a 'keep it real' comedian not an emasculated negro! Black women prefer Black men and vice versa...that's a fact not a "racist" illusion. Menelik Charles London
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bruce_g says:Posted: 10 Apr 09My take on interracial relationships is very simple and easy to understand. The lines we draw between ourselves and each other are artificial. We are ALL God's children. It is truly said that love is blind. It's all really a matter of preference and nothing more than that. I have friends who form couples who are racially mixed, if one can really cay that there is indeed a mix. How can any couple be racially mixed when both partners are of the HUMAN RACE? That's my two cents, for whatever it's worth.
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prettybrowneyes says:Posted: 10 Apr 09
Mr Laurelton Queens Typical kneegrow...I don't care what you call me; my preference stands! Black women WILL continue to date and love and be loved by white and other non black men and there is NOTHING you can do to stop it. So move on!
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prettybrowneyes says:Posted: 10 Apr 09
Derek880 our reasons are different really; I don't blame ALL black men like you blame ALL black women. I have a true attraction and preference for whitemen; yet your attraction and preference for white women is typical...you seem to think that all black women are the problem, and yet view black men as blameless and you are far from it.
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haute42 says:Posted: 08 Apr 09I think both elle79 and jaquentin made really valid points. Chris Rock is known for making you laugh about serious issues, by pointing out some of the ignorance of them and making you think. My first thought was not, "OMG!! How can he say that??" My first thought was, "I'm glad I don't feel that way!!" I think the first step towards dealing with a problem is learning to laugh at some of its absurdities. I won't even mention the people who posted comments, which prove the point I think Chris Rock was trying to make. What is the first thing you probably did when you read my post?? Scroll up to look for whomever I mentioned by name to see what they had to say. Those who posted ignorant comments need as little attention as possible, so I refuse to direct anyone to them. As the colours of the rainbow blend together to create a spectrum of beauty, so should the boundaries of ethnicity be blended to create a spectrum of love.
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alikar says:Posted: 08 Apr 09chris pebble is an idiot! plain and simple. but he's a genius in marketing because he has gotten 178 people including me to talk about him, which does nothing but increase his visibility and undoubtedly his CD sales numbers! it's amazing that we never would react when george wallace (sorry i'm telling my age!) would call us all niggers and we let it go, but when michael richards (seinfeld's kramer) does it onstage and the country has a kiniption! there are always going to be racial morons, people. GET OVER IT & GET A LIFE!!! i went to college in minnesota in the 70's, so interracial dating was a way of life for me before most of you reading this were out of kindergarden. i loved it. i've always loved it. if people had an attitude about us whenever we went out, that was just their jealousy showing. love has no color.
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geneandthem says:Posted: 08 Apr 09
You know what I love about these blogs that I have loved for a long time? How people State there Opinion as FACT! It is seriously the most Entertaining Thing I have ever seen! Almost Like you are telling a joke! To "blacktone1" Your Post was off the Charts! I am A White guy that has Never dated on other woman but a Sister! I have never even as much as Kissed a white woman, Besides my Grandmother on the Cheek! Just because it is in your mentality to "NAIL" Any "CHICK" That is thrown at you Does not mean that All men are like this! I have had Many White, Asian, and Hispanic Woman Throw themselves at me and I mean in a Way that you almost got to throw down! And I have never taken up on any of those offers! My first Kiss was in the 2nd Grade, with a African American Girl, My first Play Girlfriend in the third grade was a African American girl, and my first Real Girlfriend in High School was African America, and it has been that way for a long long time! GOing on 33 years now! People have to realize that a Stand up routine it is made up to Laugh at! Because it is funny, because it is that way with some people! It doesn't have to be taken Literal! After being on this Site for Many many many Years now and Posting in these threads I always thought that I would gradually see people and Views Change! But Not really! There are a ton of really open-minded, good people with good points and views! But there are still a ton of Idiots here to! Makes you wonder why some of these people are even here? Its a interracial dating site! We all should be Feeling pretty close to the same way here! And when your not on the same page as all of us that are here for the right reason! Then you just here kick up Dust and Run Game on Somebody! You peeps on here not really into interracial dating KICK ROCKS! This SHHHH getting old!!! Ashley,
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Beliver1 says:Posted: 08 Apr 09
Chris Rock,is totally off is rockers,dating is all about attitudes,i'm a mix race;i have date all races inthe past,like i said its all about aindividual attitude what kind of mannersism,family background,what king of parent you were rear by,its all begin in the quqlity of a person up bringing,its like planting a fruit tree,if you take care of it it will bring you abondance of good fruits,so to chris rock put your horn that you are tooting in a barrel and roll it into the river,all gods children are beautiful,its depends on your inner core.
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lstbreathin says:Posted: 08 Apr 09
I would like to commend Ichibod, teesha, on very great post! Ichibod, you were very informative without being bias. And teesha, you might have convinced me to go on a trip to Central America, lol. Good luck to the both of you!
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Ichibod says:Posted: 08 Apr 09It's so bad that Timbo649 had to come under such heavy fire for his comments in regard to stastistics. It's what he's noticed, not scientific fact. Statistics don't have to give an account to different circumstances, however the people in those circumstances do. Here's something troubling I observed some days ago. I did a search for women of no particular race and no children in my area. There where a lot more white women than black women to come up in the search results. I then decided to go MILF hunting and changed the filter to no particular race with children. As the statistics that Timbo649 found suggested, a lot more black women appeared than white and latino women. Many of them were overweight. Oh yeah, circumstances! Maybe I should not filter out what race THEY prefer or religion. I forgot, details like that can skew all types of demographical data, right? Chris Rock made his joke based on what most black men have found or heard from some if not many black women friends and/or relatives, not just what some women choose to argue or not to believe. In guy conversation with many black men, I have heard very little to no objection to interracial dating. In general conversation with black women on various occasions, I have witnessed more objection to interracial dating. I even had a co-worker speak on the subject saying, "I don't do pink d***". elle79 also made a great point about reading too much into what Chris Rock said. Probably because too many of you are only going by the the quote in the article rather than hearing it first hand in the full comedy presentation. This comment is exactly along the same lines as when he joked about Farrakhan hating Jews. He said, "Blacks don't hate Jews, blacks hate white people." I'm not trying to open that one up for discussion, just merely drawing a parallel in his comedic style. Just in case some of you just like to argue for no reason, got tired of typing, feel they made a valid enough point or just like reading the comments, let me offer a fews ideas of my own: Some black are attracted to some men of other races Some black women are not attracted to men of other races Some black women are attracted to some black men only (ooh.. what happens if Pedro is sexy all of a sudden) Some black women don't like any black men(are you new to the site, blind, or can't read) Some black women feel that every race should stay with their own (my great-aunt and I had an interesting conversation about that) Some black women, like most women, are more comfortable with men they have more in common with (my cousins both have white men) Some black women, like many black men are still stuck in the whole psuedo-afrocentric stage (Black Power!) There has been much ado over successful black men ending up with white women. It's just the same with many black women... not all. I've worked in corporate america and have worked with or encountered black women who would have very little if nothing to do with me nor any other black men that they didn't have to work with directly, not even a response to a friendly greeting in passing. But I have seen many of those same women speaking joyfully and freely with white men on the job. My dad was a naval officer, so my brother and I always lived in a predominately white environment and the same for my cousins. I don't feel my cousins don't like black men, but there weren't many on their level that they were also attracted to in their neighborhoods or at their schools. This may seem like a 'lack of options' issue, but more an issue of normal discriminating taste. I know there are many beautiful, intelligent, black women around, especially on this site. However, how many beautiful ones are actually intelligent. How many intelligent ones are also beautiful. How many of these, whether beautiful or intelligent, want or even care for a black man. Chris Rock joked about a stereotype that we all have seen, yet obviously have mant different understandings of, explainations for, problems with, and strong feelings about.
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teesha says:Posted: 07 Apr 09
Now that you explained yourself better, now i understand. It has changed from what it use to be in the islands. Yeah they see the nonsense on tv, and wanna be like the video girls. you know as well as i do, life back home is harder here in the u.s. and you right, i can see some women back home using, not just white men, but men in general to get out of their situation. well i put it this way, if a man lets a woman use him, then thats on him; it goes both ways. but bottom line, i still think anyone is liable to date who they prefer. if that individual doesnt have the common sense to know they're being used, regardless of their skin color, or who they might be involve with, guess they just want it that way. some ppl are desperate so they settle for anything. yeah i've heard women, of all races said, they rather be with another race because of how their last mate treat them. a man will treat u good if he wants to, period. so i really dont get caught up with the bs that another race will treat u better. has nothing to do with their skin color. but you know how it is, to each his own. so it is what it is.
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stelica says:Posted: 07 Apr 09
I find Chris Rock disgusting. I don't like his humor at all. You don't have to insult people to make them laugh. I think it's a choice. Some people like vanilla ice-cream, some like chocolate. I have always been attracted to Black men. I am a Latina. I don't fit your stereotype for a Latina so Hispanic men don't approach me. Which is okay because I don't find them attractive. It's also a bout the culture and how they act. I think it's great that people have choices when picking a mate. I would hate to live in a world that would force me to marry or date only your own culture.
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Member says:Posted: 07 Apr 09
Dear Teesha You are a very attractive woman. I was born in Jamaica raised in the states. My issue was never who dated who. My issue was black women bashing black men to justify dating white men. I just happen to be the loudest voice of opposition. Let me put in perspective here. Since people know me but don't know what motivates me. If you watch television or even CNN with Sole "dud" I was saying black men were being demonized for a long time. Now the media is making black women hysterical with this shortage of black male myth. There is not shortage of black men. That is all in your head. I plan to do a blog about it soon. Right now I am working on a progress report. My issue with sellout black women is they think the white man is going to fix all their dating woes. They are not confident enough to get white men on their own so they bash black men to draw attention to themselves. The factor of matter is, white man pick them last to date. Everybody dodges that fact. The rather attack me and my fiancee. My fiancee don't like black men dating white women. I don't hear any nappy headed black women saying "oh leave her because she dislike black men dating white women". Yet, when I say black women are sellouts for dating white men. It's "oh she should leave you". Your lucky I am gentleman because I would have some 'choice words for them" and it will involve "sucking something". I have visited different places. The women in United States is NOTHING compared to them third world women. They straight look at a white man as a meal ticket and don't give a damn. Some men like it out there because the women are "loose". Yea me too when I was younger, but the Caribbean women are so "loose" now it's sad and disgusting. It's unfortunate because it undermines other women who would otherwise be "good women". Now they are forced to compete on that slutty level. Yea I rule with an iron fist in my relationship. Yea she get in her "ways" but I don't fall the bluffing all that shit. I am like " go find another man then" if you don't like how I treat you. That's my attitude towards it. My fiancee thinks I am funny. I can be dead serious on some things. I am conservative and she is a super bisexual freak. I didn't work this hard in college and my career to be told what to do by a woman. I will always have a woman even if I wasn't engaged. You want an emasculated white men be my guest. That is why I laugh when black women come on here making petty threats. Behind the scenes it is never like that. They just trying to "puff" themselves up so other men get interested. Ultimately most want attention from black men.
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Fire321 says:Posted: 07 Apr 09I don't give much weight to what Chris Rock says. Everyone has an opinion about why men and women date interracially. I just think it's a preference for some and for others, it's trying to find someone that you feel you may have something in common with. If that person happens to be of a different race, great. Life is too short to settle for less than you feel you deserve. If you can't or haven't found that within your own race, opening your options is only a common sense move. To each his own...do what makes you happy in the long run.
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teesha says:Posted: 07 Apr 09
Boy oh boy, i read most of the commment on here and i must agree with L.MDDLTON and JAQUENTIN. Im from central america born and raised. our culture back home, you date who you want to date. im mix with creole and mexican. my grandmother, who was mexican, told me that her family disowned here because she married a black man. they wouldnt drink from her cup, or eat out of her plate, because her black husband probably used it. our culture consists of mestizos, mayas, caribs, portuguese, creole, and hispanics. We also have japanese, chinese, korean, and other cultures there too. back home you will find a black with korean, white with chinese. we dont look at that as long as you're happy. i experienced racism against me when i moved here to the states. but i will never say that someone isnt allow to date this person cause of their complexion or race. honestly thats the most dumbest shit i ever heard. my first was puerto rican, i was in 11 grade then. the black men were calling me a sellout and i really couldnt understand why. like i said, where i come from, we dont look at that. but i will never say that a black woman would be better with a white man, or vice versa. who the hell am i to say who will be better for who. far as my knowledge goes, a cheater, abuser, rapist, gangster comes in all colors. so degrading a particular race over some bullshit, just shows how ignorant and small minded some people are. As for Mr. Laurelton, you claim you ruled with an iron fist. No disrespect i will never and mean NEVER let know man control me. I respect the fact that you're a grown man, and you should respect that im a grown woman. From reading your comments, you need to take a good look in the mirror. Like i said you free to be with who u want to be with, but yet you're dating a woman of mix culture. You should visit different countries like in central america, west-indies and you'll find we dont put up with bullshit by worrying bout who date who. Yea i will admit, i have some family members who think they are better than me because they are a little lighter shade than me. I have a cousin who married a hispanic man and he daughter came out his complexion and hair. She didnt want to have another child because she didnt want her child to come out black like she is. People like her got issues, yeah i dont like the fact she thinks that way, but people come up with crazy decision for their own sake. You really need to give people credit with who they choose to be with. By the end of the day, they just want to be happy just like everyone else. So Mr. Laurelton, you really need to do some real soul searching and stop shooting people down cause of who they choose to be with, why they chose to be with a particular person, cause they just trying to be happy.
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Lookin'4myBOO says:Posted: 06 Apr 09All women do have a choice of whom they wanna date or be with.Just some are more open minded than other when dating interacially.I love all women but i'm more attracted to black women.I love black women cause' most are very loving and dedicated and faithfull to their man.I will always love black women and continuously searching for my true Love.I have seen lots of black women had dated black and white men and even other cultured but except Asian men.((( i wonder why ))) I have try everything ......from giving hints to all the black women that i'm attracted to that i am single and looking for a GF.But that didn't help either ......NO black women are braved enough to take that chance in finding happiness or looking for that good man they be searching for. I hope every1 good luck and best wishes in finding ya' SPECIAL love1. Don't let my aged fool ya'.......Ladies !!!! = ) I am still young at heart and love to spoils my WOMAN and keep my woman happy. ((( mentally and physically ))) Holla at me .......ladies = ) Whenever ya' ready to commit and wanting a serious long term relationship.
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chatotekoa says:Posted: 05 Apr 09
All this stuff about you should or should not date Black or White who cares as long as you want to and are honest about it. My opion is that every Black man in the World should date White women, more Beautiful sexy Black women for me.....
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nitaj says:Posted: 05 Apr 09Flirtygirl, you hit the nail on the head! We all have options, that is life. The choice we make, determines the quality of that life. I really think Chris Rock(if he was serious) and men Black men who think like him, need a reason to deal with the fact that there are Black women out here who prefer White men. I have dated all kinds of men, I prefer White men. No they are no better or worse. Because for real, you all want the same thing(now you figure that out). I have found based on my upbringing and environment, White men were more available and seem to get me and appreciate me. There was never any competition or hidden agenda with the White men I have dated. That has not been my, I say my experience with Black men or Hispanic men. But really who cares..Do you and whatever makes you happy completes you, floats your boat, tickle your fancy-whatever, do you. Be respectful, honest and loving towards whomever you are with. That way, come whatever, you will eventually reap the harvest from the seed you plant-whether it is in a field of purple violets or white lillies.
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AliciaTai says:Posted: 05 Apr 09I could really care less who dates who and what color they are. I myself was born in a small town in Indiana and I have always found it a lot easier to date white males because I relate more with them. I think it is more about chemistry and not color. I am so proud to have a family that is very open to this concept as it makes my life much easier. And to say it is something that is done out of desperation is completely ignorant...and that is something I refuse to tolerate from anyone, no matter what race they may be. And about the "pretty white boy" comment...I'm not going to chose an ugly person in general so what is the difference??? I wish people would just get over it!!!
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Member says:Posted: 05 Apr 09
(Leaning against Luvanurse) Shut up " it puts the lotion on it's skin and does it when it's told or it gets the hose again"! "Silence of the Lambs" look for my new post on my blog. Thanks for the inspiration.
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Member says:Posted: 05 Apr 09
Timbo, You make good points once again. Anytime you are a white man and you don't agree with everything a black woman says they want to lash out at you. People use to say I was crazy because I said black women want to emasculate white men. 60 percent of black women are obese. You are right. White women are obese too about 50 percent. You are right about black women have illegitimate children. They say it is not totally their fault. At the same time, the woman has the power to close her legs to men. They lack personal responsibility and then blame black men and everyone but THEMSELVES. Now they want the "White Man Bailout package" to save themselves. Sorry the stimulus package can only go so far. http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
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supathikmama says:Posted: 05 Apr 09WOW!!! I took the time to read some posts, and I'm glad that this subject is being brought up. I first seen this response to the subject in the movie "save the last dance" when Chenile(Kerry Washington) is telling Sara(Julia Stiles) that white women were basically coming into their world and taking the last few good black men left in "their world". I can understand where she is coming from to a degree, because there was a time when interracial dating was discriminated against. And black men only dated black women, and this carried on for some time with black and white relationships becoming more and more frequent. Now it's popular and Chris Rock is saying that black men are exercising thier choice, well that is how it seems, but doesn't mean that it's the truth. Sure, they are exploring their options, but aren't we all. Aren't we all trying to find that special someone, does love have a color, does love have an age, does love have a value....Love seems to be another topic, so another day... No, it's degrading to say that black woman are sell-outs because they date a white man. They are simply exploring their options, and to say that it's not the same for a black woman to explore her options just as a black man is doing is wrong. That goes back to the "sexis" thing. Is Chris Rock racist, is he sexist as well? I wonder, but no one will know, well, not unless we ask him. Also, as a white woman, I find that I get approached by more black men than white men, and personally that my preference. I'm thick, hint the name, not fat, phat... BBW, in other terms... I'm not sure if more black men are open to it, or just more open about it. As I do get approached by white men, but it is less frequent. But, I can't bring myself to be attracted to a white man, as many times as I've sat and thought about why, I can't find the conclusion. So, is it that more white women like black men, or is it that more black men like white women. And being as that I get a lot more responses from black men, I've noticed that some have bad.....well, talk a lot of slang, and don't use proper language, but you think that white men aren't doing it to. But then they get called "wangstas". On the flip side, I've met quite a few black men who know how to talk proper english, who are educated, smart and sexy... Yea there are black women who can be impolite and SASSY at times, and a lot of men as well as women would say they're straight out bitches. You think there aren't white women who are rude & bitchy, if so, think again. And when it comes to fat people, there are fat people in every race. And as women, known as bbw, dont call them fat, its not polite. We can clearly see, that the problems we are seeing, are not only in blacks, and not only in whites...Problems like these occur in every race, but there is an issue I guess between black woman and white women. And I doubt this problem will ever dissipate,...but maybe it will get better.
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tatted2death says:Posted: 05 Apr 09I quite simple find that any person (male, female, "black" or "white") who builds themselves up on attributes that can be easily taken away or have no real barring. Some one that goes on about their sexual prowess/size, hair length/color, so on and so forth tend to be some of the most insecure, unhappy people. At the end of the day they can probably hardly stand to look in the mirror at themselves because all they would be looking at is an empty, shallow shell. Many people go so far out of their way to build up these "defense mechanisms" that they miss so many opportunities to meet really good people. These narrow-minded individuals are just misguided and one day they will wake up....it might be too late, but they will wake up. Peace to ALL tatted2death Broaden your horizons....live each day like it's your last....
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luvanurse says:Posted: 05 Apr 09
How do you know what Chris ROck was really trying to say? LETS BE HONEST: You are full of it. BTW, most black women do not have a bunch of little greasy kids running around. As far as fat women go. You are the one who needs to look around, there are just as many fat white women as it is fat black women. I think I will drop it with you here. It's pointless to talk to someone like you and another name I will not mention.
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Timbo649 says:Posted: 05 Apr 09
I think Chris Rock was trying to flip the script on a common stereotyped notion to earn points with the black community. LET's BE HONEST: The actual common notion and misconception held by society is that black women have no choice but to date black men, because white men do not find black women attractive. SO... Chris Rock spun it around a bit saying that black women just aren't attracted to white men and that is why they don't date white men. That was the essence of Rock's joke. Flipping it around. So what is the real reason why so many black women are single? LET's BE HONEST: Men in general are not attracted to fat bellied women. And a higher percentage of black women (and men) are obese than other races. If you don't believe me, google the statistic. Or just look around. LET's BE HONEST: Men in general are not as interested in women with a bunch of little kids running around either. As a culture, single black women are more apt to have a bunch of little kids running around, and little greasy kids running around is dude repellant. LET's BE HONEST: Black women are the most beautiful and sexy women on the planet. But natural born beauty and curves does not matter if the woman (regardless of her race) is irresponsible and let's it go.
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blacktone1 says:Posted: 05 Apr 09
Look, generally speaking black women are not attractted to the AVERAGE white male. Thats the point rock was trying to make! Shit Black men,(and any other men) will nail ANY white chick. Or any asian chick, or any latino err, you get the picture. People are forgetting this is about MALE/FEMALE more so than black/white. A man is man, he'll nail anything thats thrown in his lap, and whether anyone admits it or not white women, asian etc THROW themselves at us. Unfortunaley for sisters (most, of course theyr'e exceptions) you all dont feel that way towards the common white male. Sorry, you all KNOW thats true.
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2La8agn says:Posted: 04 Apr 09I am sorry, but I do not understand all of this options and things. I only know how I feel. When I see a woman that is attractive to me, I become color blind. I like women of color, all colors. Beauty is only skin seep and so is color. The nost important thing is hope do the two of yo feel about each other, are you compatiable, is the trust there and most of all chemistry between you. If you don't have that, then you have nothing to begin with and will ended up with nothing. 2Lagan
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Flirtygirl36 says:Posted: 04 Apr 09Women always have options.....we just don't always make the best choice!!!!!!
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Cassieoa says:Posted: 04 Apr 09
Attention: All americans people are people, as a Black American Woman, me and my friends have basically dated out of our races, I am (61) sixty-one years old and my friends are in the same age group. I only meet white men, very few black men, I do not go out looking for any race. I look for human beings, someone that puts god first, respect women. My parents raised me that people are people. I can be at the mall and guess what I meet a white guy, I am not high yellow, I am a Black Woman, a shade darker than, our current first lady. Black Women need to get real and have a open mind, the world was meant to be mixed all races. Every Black Woman will not get a Black American Man. Any Black American woman that is sitting around waiting for one is wasting their life. Life is to short to continue having this discussion about race. The young people do not look at race like they did years ago. The young want the person the like, the person the love and fall in love with. If you will remember we are all gods children, there is good and bad in any race. Stop wasting your life on the discussion about race believe me in the next (5 to 10 years) race will not matter. A WORD TO THE WISE TONIGHT IS NOT GAURANTEED. RITA W.
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notypical says:Posted: 03 Apr 09
So much nonsense. Many women and men want to live in the past and keep their stereotypical places in many aspects of life. Then there are the rest of us who's knuckles don't drag on the ground, who go with what is real. I'm attracted to a man because of who he is, and if he is good looking. My interpretations of course. I think a person has to try hard to be unaffected by media and the knuckel draggers who are around. One thing I tell my kids is when you're having a conversation and you tell a story, don't say "This Mexican Man, or a Black Woman", just say a man or a woman. It doesn't really matter what color they are. The only thing that matters is what happened.
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Zahara77 says:Posted: 03 Apr 09
It's kind of disheartening to read some of the responses about black women being 'sell-outs’ if we date outside our race. I live in a very diverse community and it would be shame to not meet as many new people from different backgrounds with different perspectives on life. We don’t have to limit ourselves and we don’t have to live our lives based on anyone’s standards. I’m currently in University and unfortunately there aren’t many black men of my ethnicity that are in my school. I’m realistic about my life and my options. I think some people on here need to get off their high horse and make some changes in their lives instead of blaming black women for their problems. Life’s too short for that kind of BS. Do what you need to do to make yourself happy.
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Member says:Posted: 03 Apr 09
Dear Bunny You are a beautiful woman. You are right I am not a perfect man. I was raised in New York my whole life in a rough environment. Actually, it was rough but I was raised in the church. Then sort of fell out of love with the church with "fake people" that get dressed up and really don't change their ways. I can admit I went off the path. I am hard on black women absolutely. Simply, because they really never excercise their power. Everybody says yea white people this and that. That's fine but when things reach a epidemic level in the black community it affects you and me. It affects how the precious white man your dying to be with looks at you too. I don't hate anybody that is a misconception. My fiancee says I am disrespectful and mean. I tell her you can't really change who I am. I could be nice, unemployed and have no education. There is plenty of black or white men like that. I have to explain to my fiancee this is a rough world. If I said something I followed through on it. The problem with black women they mistaken confidence for arrogance. You can cross over to arrogance easily yes. You can be with an emasculated white man that says yes all the time. I am sure you can find one. He may not be the most attractive, he could be balding. At least you have somebody you can control. I don't let black women control me much less my fiancee. I really never had a problem getting women after high school. Yea my arrogance has helped and hurt me. I could have more women if I was nicer. That is why I stick to my beliefs than rather "go with the crowd". I personally feel this whole interracial dating situation is really no big thing. I just think when they bash black men I have to retaliate. Perhaps, they have unresolved issues with black men. I will resolve it for them by getting on their ass! Some of you sellout black girls want to ignore me or whatever. You can't ignore something that exists. Many black men feel like me they don't voice it. I rather jump in your face and be like listen stop that whining and complaining. I told my fiancee last night. She worked long hours. She came home whining and complaining about me being disrespectful. I said " You knew how I was when you met me 3 years ago'! It ain't like you woke up and the big black dick was in your ass out of nowhere. I don't have nothing to prove. I did what I was supposed to do. I personally think black women are intimidated by black men with a college education. They don't want you to walk around with your head high. It is a symptom of slavery. One nappy headed black girl said I date white women. She don't even know me but because I speak well I date white women. Same for some of these sellout black women here they was like "oh you with a white girl". You whoring for a white man is my response. I never compromised my values because I was alone. There is plenty of black men that are alone but because they made a mistake in life and was locked up. There is a shortage of black men all of a sudden. A shortage of your high expectations that you, yourself can't even achieve. For example, how you want a tall, dark and handsome man and you fat and sloppy and look like Star Jones before her bypass surgery. I have to go back to work (Pulling Jaz hat off her head)
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Jazpur says:Posted: 03 Apr 09
Unfortunately our society has to always have a topic to focus on. Whether its Interracial dating, same-sex marriages, all the way to whose fashion disaster hit the shelves first thing Monday morning. Our world turns, but our topics stand stagnant. We're always fighting to end a war somewhere, but are always bringing up the history of it to make it continuously known. People cannot NOT have a topic to focus on, if so it brings frenzy to the world. We need to focus more on the inner beauties of ourselves then worrying about the outer shell of other people. We blend colors in our everyday life, why should it matter when it comes to two people? We mold ourselves to accustom our life to the world; for communication, direction, and most of all compatibility no matter where it comes from. If the world remembers, we fought so hard to make this world blend, we fought so deep within to not have so much segregation. So why now, today, are we trying to bring back that time period in our lives... LOVE is not a color, its an everlasting feeling.... So let us feel.....
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Bunny says:Posted: 03 Apr 09I must say this 80 percent of the United States is white and maybe about 10 or 15 perent is black and other things. My percentage may not be exactly right but close. Alot of people in the United States are overweight and most of them would be white since there are more of them than us. So don't just be one sided tell both sides of the story. As black people we learn to appreciate ourselves and the women in most shape and sizes. We don't go around calling each other fat all the time making others feel bad. What about women who gained weight giving birth to babies. Should we be incentive and call them fat. Everyone is someone's mother, daughter, or sister, or grandmother. You wouldn't like it if ones of theses people was one of your family memembers and people digraded them. Our race of black people most accept each other and we appreciate the fact that we come in different shapes and sizes and we appreciate that beauty. Some white women are so obessed with losing weight that some have problems with their self image, and some starve theirselves to the point of death. You don't see many black women doing that. Because in our culture we are taught we are beautiful in all shape and sizes. I think all women in any culture should feel that way. I'm not saying that if a person wants to lose weight that shouldn't. If you want to loose weight for health issues or for yourself only. Not for a man or the public. The point is you have to be happy with yourself and who you are first. The weight is not always the issue. You have to love yourself first. I mean even if you loose weight and look like barbie you still will feel bad about yourself if you don't love who you are inside and out. If a man calls you hug and fat and belittles you all the time he doesn't deserve you. Women should be treated with respect but she must hold herself as a lady for that to happen but regardless of that black women may be fiesty and sorry dear that how some of us are we speak our minds and if you can't handle it too bad. Mr Laurelton Queens I have to say this for you. Why do you have so many issues. You are the one who has an anger problem and I think I know what it is. It must have been a black woman or someone in the past who broke your heart or something bad that happened to you with a woman that makes you so uptight, rude, and ruly towards black women. Or you are just plain out prejudice. It either one of the two. I'm sorry that happens to you. It's bad and just plain sad but guess what I will say to you. Get over it dear and move on. Life is too short for you to be so bitter, angry, and hateful towards black females. This is American we will speak with open minds and heart just like you will no matter how annoying you sound. I agree yeah all of us as human have flaws, some of us are skinny and wish our butt was bigger, some of us are overweight and may wish we lost a few pounds. And some of us think we are too short. The point is none of us are perfect not 100 percent. Some of us have flaws even if we look like barbie and ken. Everyone deserves to be respected, loved, and treated as such. You Mr Laurelton Queens will not be able to keep any woman long no matter what race she is because you are selfish, rude, mean and disrespectful to woman. If can disrespect any type of female you can do it to any woman. No one will want to be with you or if she is with you, you will probably mistreat her. And another thing if you get so offensive about the black and white dating thing why are you on here in the first place? You can always go and find another site if you don't like being here. I'm not feeding into this mess you have going on I mean look at yourself some of the things you are saying don't even make any sense. All races and all people have issues so don't try and sit here and act like black women are the biggest problem. We are not so no one can judge anyone and say anything about anyone else because truth be told we all have problems. I think it's okay to bring up a point and talk about things but don't point the finger at one group and say they are the only ones with problems when that's not the case. Even you have many issues Mr Laurelton Queens so you really don't have room to talk. I know i'm not perfect I have my own set of challenges and problems but aleast I'm able to admit I do and deal with things and you aren't so what exactly does that say about you? What are you hiding? What do you have to prove? Why are you so mad at black women what have they done to you?
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nJesushandz says:Posted: 03 Apr 09I believe we are missing the big picture when we look at the flesh of a man to determine what lies in his heart. women of all color if a man doesn't love God he cannot love you. God is love and if a man doesn't know him he is loving with a worldly idea of love which is self-serving. Real love that God put' s in your heart can only come from him. When a man loves you through God he will alway's seek to try to do the right thing by you and he will love and put you right there under God on his list of priorities. I don't see color, I do for the most part date Black men not really by any preference but, because they are the only one's who approach me. I think mainly because I attend a all black church and have biraical children. I have always identified more with the black race. I have alway's liked the things they particularly liked. I think the important thing to remember is there is some good ones and bad ones in every race. Just make sure your not looking for a man to make you happy cause those shoes are to big for him to fill and he will not satisfy that desire for you. Only God know's what makes you tick, he created you so, go to him first let him make you whole than let a man add to your happiness.
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Sage3 says:Posted: 02 Apr 09
What is your status Mr Laurelton Queens? I assume from your conversation that you are in a wonderful, committed marriage with an amazing Black Woman and you are a loyal and devoted husband and father. Am I right?
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Member says:Posted: 02 Apr 09
Dear Mz Fierce You make some good points. Unfortunately, your fellow sellout black sisters haven't learned anything either. The rage and anger you women display only hurts the ones you love. It was sellout black women grumbling in the background when allegedly all these successful black men were dating white women. The reason I bring up the media is because that is where sellout black women go to cry to their "mommy" Oprah. I particular like it when they are on essence and ebony magazine bashing black men because they were "unable" to keep a black man interested in them. The alternative or second choice is white men. Who are not that eager to be with them either. Look at E Harmony, black women have become desperate. They are on E Harmony upset white men don't have them in their database search. As you know, there is a little bit of truth to generalizations. I like chicken and watermelon. Yet, if a white person says black people like that they are racist. I rather just speak the truth then run around like you women with your head in the sand. You mention race is irrelevant when it comes to women having out of wedlock children and having different "fathers for their kids". Perhaps you are right but when it is an epidemic in your community, you can't help but look at the car accident that is black women. Then you mention some white men are gross. Perhaps, that small little factor keeps a majority of black women from dating outside of their race. As for the rest, they are a disgrace to their community. Halle Berry has a unemployed white man. Do not bring up Halle Berry again. She came from a white woman's womb. I rather look at black couples in Hollywood like Don Cheadle and Denzel Washington and Spike Lee. We haven't come a long way. Simply, because white men are not coming into the black community searching for Tameka for a serious relationship. They want them in their comfort zone, white washed, shuffling their feet and worshiping them. I am planning some seminars for sellout black women in the future. Good day to everyone
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Sage3 says:Posted: 02 Apr 09
I must admit, as Black woman, I spent many years without a partner because I was "only attracted to Black men". However, I now have come to realize that I need to expand my horizons if I want true love. I live in a community that is primarily white and when I limited myself to dating Black men only, the pool of potential partners was limited to say the least. After a wake up call and realizing that I do not plan to become a nun because of my loyalty to Black men, my heart has suddenly begun to open to the prospect of dating interracially. It is funny, because now that I have opened my heart to dating outside of my "race box", I am finding that I am approached more by men of all races and I am lovin it! I don’t predict that I will be single for long... Obama becoming president has allowed us to have discussions about race more openly. When we look at this man who exemplifies the best of Black and White, (including Asian relatives!) , we all have something to be proud of! Love has no bounds.
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paula99 says:Posted: 02 Apr 09
Mzfierce... do not even argue with idiots these men have serious dr. phil issues. look i date white men .. i will always continue .. and these idiots wonder why.. lol.. because i have a commonality with intelligent men. look i do what makes me happy. they hate women its obvious. so do not waste your energy sweetie. i see your bright and smart. these men cannot get women. either white or black if they could they be somewhere loving them .. not on here trying to get people to see it their way.. misery loves company.
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luvanurse says:Posted: 02 Apr 09
MzFierce although you make excellent points and stated things in a very eloquent way. This will all be lost on Queens because he never makes any sense. You cannot use reason or logic to talk to someone who embraces hate and intolerance. He is a horrible human being. Oh and a racist.
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mzfierce says:Posted: 02 Apr 09Hi there, Mr. Laurelton Queens, I am addressing some of your comments in Timbo's defence, they are as follows: "Straw arguments about white women"---Mr. Laurelton Queens Actually, no, Mr.Timbo's arguments were straw arguments, go back and read them and figure out where the premise lies. "Guess what, white women are not on television crying about not getting a date."--Mr. Laurelton Queens YOU WATCH TOO MUCH TV...BTW: What programs are you watching? I don't subscribe to television, I'd rather pick up a book because a few idiots in the media are not representations of the the rest of the World; yes, these situations may occur but one should refrain from generalizations. Generalizations are fallacies,therefore, they do not represent sound critical thinking skills. "One of them admit they are a single mother but get mad when you point that out. Guess what, if another man wants to be with you in another relationship. You will pop out the second one. Bam, second different BABY DADDY DUMMY."--- Mr. Laurelton Queens No Need to call people dummy, obviously that would be the truth but what is the first circumstance and will the second situation work? In this regard, Yes, women need to take their time before jumping into this kind of scenario---Race is irrelevant. "Now they calling some white men “GROSS”. I assure you they are looking for the Halle Berry types. Not Star Jones before he bypass surgery."---Mr. Laurelton Queens Yes, SOME, not all of them are gross, just like SOME of them may see Star Jones as GROSS before her bypass surgery. Of course, it boils down to a personal preference and does not represent everyone else's preference(s). Generalizations are fallacies. Although Halle Berry has represented black women in the media, she does not represent an exclusive, or ultimate definition of black beauty---she is moreso, an explosion of what represents black beauty through media...Sorry, I give my vote to Gabrielle Union as a black beauty in the media. Still, there are many black women that are not in Hollywood that can walk the walk and then some. Let's just respect people's differences and preferences. So, if white men are a black woman's choice out of desperacy, I don't see how it cannot be viewed the other way around. Speak on it...is a black woman a white man's last choice because he doesn't rate white women? In my opinion, it is neither, but rather a rejection of racial barriers, prejudices and the old doctrine instilled by our ancestors based on the memories of a BAD HISTORY. It's going to be a long road before we see the path for interracial relationships clear of obstacles yet, we have come a long way. If we acknowledge each other first as humans, we can get past the BS!!~MzFierce~
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Member says:Posted: 02 Apr 09
Timbo Ignore he unruly ass. No wonder she is still is single. She likes to talk back too much. She did a little poll in her office. She should have done another poll on who likes her ass in her office? She makes it harder for black women to get married with her mouth. If I wasn't engaged I would straighten her ass out. She needs more sex in her life. I do not think even a white guy could tame that pit bull! Not even the "Dog Whisper". Have a nice day everyone.
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luvanurse says:Posted: 02 Apr 09
Timbo just so you know there are tons of overweight white women as a matter of fact, there lots of overweight people period. So don't come on here pretending you have all the facts about black women and try and analyze something you don't know a damn thing about. Also you say black women turn down white men as a defense mechanism. No, most black women prefer to date within their own race. Even with the huge shortage of available black men,alot of black women prefer black men. I think most racial groups prefer to date within their own race. I can say this because I did my own little poll and I asked about 12 black women at my place of employment this questions. Only one was possibly open to dating outside her race and she said she preferred hispanic guys. So please get your ass off your pedestal. Just so you know I may be open to dating white guys, but that does not mean I think they are better than any other race of men, especially my own.
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Member says:Posted: 02 Apr 09
Why is it people I have never have a dialogue with telling other people what to do? You want a one sided debate there is plenty of places you can go. The blog asks an open ended question. I come here to answer them. Nappy head! Have a nice day
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luvanurse says:Posted: 02 Apr 09
jaquentin, please ignore MLQ. He is a total nuisance. Hateful and ignorant as they come. I suggest we all ignore him.
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Hugman says:Posted: 01 Apr 09Tastes, Traditions, Folkways, Sociatal pressures, Personal experiences (good and bad), Preferences, discriminations and Steriotypes... We all want our ideal mate. We envision linking up with someone who has characteristices that move us. For some race is an issue. Ok - it is what it is. For others it's looks or income or I intelligence or kindness or parent potential or height or body weight or or or... This site is set up for inter racial dating and, by design, the majority of people responding on this blog should already be predispositioned towards acceptance of interracial dating regardless of sex. Knowing the slant of this blog will lean that way is important in deciding how to respond. I too feel that the acceptance interracial couples is a good thing. Each gender can have a myriad of reasons for their preferences. It is a bad idea to generalize why "all women" feel one way versus why "all men" do over interracial issues. It's like saying why women prefer men of financial substance vs why men like women with big boobs. They are all just steriotypes. I personally don't care about a woman's boob size and there are a lot of women who don't care about a man being wealthy. My point is: Race is one of a zillion characteristices that we take into consideration when looking for a romantic partner. I still can't figure out what John Lennon saw in butt ugly Yoko Ono. Still, she met his criteria. I do not think dialog will settle this issue. Time will though as our races become more and more blended over generations. When we can't tell somebody's race, we will probably discriminate over some other equally benign characteristic. Peace and love y'all, Larry
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MuscleEOLMan says:Posted: 01 Apr 09
Chris Rock has always told it like it is. Let me be break it down. For a black male it's easier to find a white/latina woman with "black woman features" than a black woman to find a white man with "black man features".(Mandingo) Plain and simple ;)
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Bunny says:Posted: 01 Apr 09
First off let's clarify something here. Just because we are of a difference race doesn't mean we are of a different species. If any race mates with each other we make a human. So with that being said we are the same race human. I think we should be happy about being different and no the same. If all things were the same it would be boring. By not limiting yourself to just one race. You give yourself a varitey to choose from. All races have different colors and beautiful features about them that make them stand out from the others. The point is to appreciate the variety and the beauty. Don't you like the variety of fruit and the different taste each had. If you had to just choose from the same fruit every day it would be boring. Just like food as people we have different taste and variety. That what makes all of us wonderfully made. One style may not be yours but another person may be just right for you. We have free will and choice and preference if a person wants to date within there race. That is their right to do so and if a person wants to date outside their race that is up to them. We must learn to respect other people choices. And even when others don't understand interracial relationships or dating don't let it get the best of you. Long as you are with the person you love and makes you feel whole you have found your treasure. And you would be a told fool to let go of it. I know nothing is a fairy tale. But working hard and believing in what you have in a relationship is worth having if that person can make your life all the better. I think chris rock say's lot of dumb things he shouldn't say. He is a good comedian but let's face it he does have a big mouth at times, but he's not perfect. Well I don't know about everyone else but the black women who are strong and have worked for everything they have is not worried about being hard up for any man whether black, white, or green. I truely believe black women theses days are more open minded and long as they can find the one special soul mate that is for her she's not trying to worry about what color or race he is. And chris we are not angry that we are not attracted to white men we are angry because "it's hard to find a few good men!"
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I think most people want to be happy and it should not matter the race. I although choose to date only black women that is my choice. I have seen those comments before and choose to ignore them.