Black women have no option?

Posted by James, 23 Mar

Warning: This post may be offensive to some readers. This is not the objective. The post is in no way meant to defame or inflame any parties, groups or persons. It is simply meant to find out what people think about black white dating.

Find your soulmate on InterracialDatingCentral

In a bid to explain why Black women get upset about Black men dating White women, Chris Rock in his latest stand up comedy says all Black men have done is exercised their option. He goes on to say Black women are angry because they are not attracted to white men so they can’t exercise their option. All they can do is sleep with “pretty white boys" but generally, black women are not attracted to white men.

In my opinion, the above statements suggest Black women only date interracially out of desperation. In fact, most Black men believe so. And the finger pointing between Black men and Black women never ends. I don't think this is the case though and frankly, I have never understood why Black men and Black women have to come up with such crude and prejudiced remarks while trying to figure out the reasoning behind their counterparts' dating options. YES! Options.

What do you think of Chris Rock's theory?

636 responses to "Black women have no option?"

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  1.   Member says:
    Posted: 01 Apr 09

    Let me jump into this argument. (Pulling Timbo away). Timbo you are just merely telling the truth and these black women get emotional. They don't want their dirty laundry out there for white men to see. Straw arguments about white women. Guess what, white women are not on television crying about not getting a date. White women are not bashing their own men. Their definition of losing weight is coming down from 200 pounds to 180. Man, knock it off stop using black men to measure your attraction to other races of men. A white man still thinks your ass is obese. Black men made you feel good about yourself calling you "thick". You let that shit get that to your head now. I wish black men never did the shit now! One of them admit they are a single mother but get mad when you point that out. Guess what, if another man wants to be with you in another relationship. You will pop out the second one. Bam, second different BABY DADDY DUMMY. Now they calling some white men "GROSS". I assure you they are looking for the Halle Berry types. Not Star Jones before he bypass surgery. Good day.

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  2. Posted: 01 Apr 09

    I see lots of black men and women together. Black men approach me, and some are nice and respectful about it, but I dont feel sexually attracted to black men. Never have really. Always fantasized about white men, and then I had a relationship with an italian american and he blew my socks off. I don't think Chris Rock can speak for every african american woman at all. I welcome any and all "pretty white boys" who want to "get at me", I have found these relationships more sexually and emotionally satisfying.

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  3.   paula99 says:
    Posted: 01 Apr 09

    screw you timbo.. your wrong. i date whitemen.. and i am lost weight. to take care of my health. and yes. i look great. but that comment about baby daddies multiple children is bull shit... you hear me you sterotypical woman hater prick.. yeah i said it.. and about us being obese. well ihave a son ... mind you one. that i raised yes and a single mother. and yes i have hips and thighs. and yes a brain to go with it... and i am a college grad. see its people like you. that is superficial and shallow .. you know what your not worth the energy. i see a lot of people on this site have more than a race issue its a people and self love and self esteem issues no wonder your single.!! no one wants to put up with your madness.

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  4.   mzfierce says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 09

    Sorry there Mr.Timbo649, what statistcal data did you use to get your analyses? I do not see any numbers to represent what you are saying.Have you taken into account which race has higher abortion rates and divorce rates? That would be called a cross-sectional study based on social disease by race and gender.In addition, have you considered the many reasons why so many black women are single mothers, ie. irresponsible men or widowed? There are very strong correlations between the social issues rooted in Black History, single-parenthood and body weight/BMI; do you have an understanding of our history, or a vague idea? If you can answer these questions and give solid proof that you know what you're talking about then I will fall back. Furthermore, where I live, the majority of obese women are white. As I said to someone before, there will always be disparities based on where you are located in the World. BTW: Do you know what defines obesity? Do you know why obesity is prevalent in relation to single-motherhood(whether black, white , purple)? There are factual medical causes of obesity among the single mother cohort. Unless YOU Mr. Timbo have studied this field and understand its dynamics, please refrain from making comments about things you can't explain. The multiple baby daddy thing applies in many cases,race is not a factor either where I'm from; I'm not justifying the behaviour, but what are the circumstances?...I can't get over your claim that "so many single black women have no choice." NO CHOICE FOR WHAT? Rejecting a white man is a defense mechanism?against what? I'm frickin' confused.Are white men supposed to be God's gift to BLACK WOMEN? I don't get what you are implying when you say, "classy black women who take care of themselves allow themselves to be attracted to white men"? If I don't find you attractive, that's MY choice. I am not going to apologize for saying this, but some white men are gross! Just the same, some black men, spanish men, asian men, indian men etc. are not appealing. If you have been rejected by a black woman, don't get it twisted. It's probably NOT because you're white, it's probably because YOU are not attractive, so get off your high horse. Let's not talk about defense mechanisms. I could analyse your observations and come up with some interesting things to say. You,TIMBO, are all over the place--first talking about misperceptions of white women's beauty and then going into why there are more single black women than white women...how are these topics related? Let me guess...your subconcious is trying to tell us something else? ie. more black women are single because they are obese, single mothers with multiple baby daddies, therefore, they are not beautiful...in comparison to white single women(mothers) who are "less obese, and have less baby daddy's?" Hmmmm, what about all of those divorced, multiple marriage, white women with children for various men? I guess because they are okay with being married and to husband number ten, they are superior to black single mothers who, in many cases, would rather NOT stand for that shit? Or, perhaps because they are still married it is acceptable for them to have multiple "BABY DADDY's". ENLIGHTEN ME, PLEASE,BECAUSE I'M ABOUT TO TRIP! Some of these biased statements, including the ones I have used as examples, are clearly unfair to anyone. We are all HUMAN, we make mistakes. We want to be loved, treated with respect and be happy. Unfortunatley, it is the narrow-minded opinions of BIGOTS that cause people to act with disrespect toward humankind and denies us the right to peace and happiness. Race should not be a factor. There is beauty in our preferences, however, there should not be HATRED or PREJUDICE. Prejudice--"an unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge, thought, or reason(Dictionary.com)". I'm open to any nusings, or opinions, please think about what you say though. Thanks! ~MzFierce~

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  5.   Timbo649 says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 09

    There is a misperception by the black community that white women are regarded as the ideal of beauty. It is easy to acquire this misperception because percentage wise, there is a much higher percentage of single black women compared to single white women. But it is NOT because white women are supposedly so pretty and desirable. No, there is a very logical reason why a high percentage of black women are single. Hear me out. Statistics indicate that a much higher percentage of single black women are single mothers with multiple baby daddies. Also, a higher percentage of single black women are obese compared to white women. To be brutally honest, obesity and some other guy's kids is a turn off to men of all races. And this is why so many single black women have no choice. It's not a color issue, it's an obesity and irresponsibility issue! And if these black women do reject white men, it is merely a defense mechanism on the black woman's part. But generally, classy black women who take care of themselves allow themselves to be attracted to white men. That's what I have noticed anyway.

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  6.   Derek880 says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 09

    prettybrowneyes This is confusing. It appears to me that we both became happier when we explored our options. So why do you have a problem with my comment? It seems to me that we both have similar mindsets here. Or are you one of those people that feel that "one-way" interracial dating is the only form that's acceptable? You said that Black men are just as difficult to deal with, so in effect you are "blaming" them just as well. Didn't you say: "To let you know, blackmen also have awful attitudes and are just as difficult to deal with, which is why I don’t and have long opened up my options and have married out." Only to finish with: "But I don’t blame black men, but typical black men like you who chooses to blame and site black women as his reason for dating out. Should’nt you date white women because of them and how you relate and not because of black women?" This is hypocrisy. I don't care about your reasons, to each his own, I just think you didn't get your thoughts straight on this one before you commented.

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  7.   Member says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 09

    I read some of the commentary so far. Please forgive me if I did not respond to you pretty brown eyes. You seem like you are off your medication. Nobody is stopping you from whoring yourself to white men. Clearly, black men are not "questioning" if other races of women like us. That is the fundamental difference in both parties. I, allegedly, hear now, that black women wanted "white men all along". That is sort of like saying I don't need a life jacket because I will never sink. Then turn around say ' I told you I wanted my life jacket damn it". That is what is so bothersome to many black men like me. You run around and bash black men and when shit go bad for you with white men the story changes. It goes from "it didn't work out" because we saw things differently. No, the real reason was, the white man got sick of your ass and gave you your walking papers! I wish sellout black women would be honest with themselves! The same black men you bash you had your legs spread for us "way back when". Now you running around lying to white men like you are just so pure. I am tired of that bullshit. Get a man on your own merit. Stop tearing down black men to impress white men. It makes you look "cheap and desperate". Even white men on here admit "you come off desperate sometimes". I never hear no outrage over that. Get a backbone and men will respect you.

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  8.   SlimNicole says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 09

    I have dated outside of my race and it had nothing to do with despiration. We were attracted to one another and everything else was good, accept for the looks we got sometimes from others. I think that he may be right in that more black men go after white women or others than white men after african American women but I am subject to my own experiences based alot on location the South. I think maybe in other places it maybe not be as likely to see very view black women with white males or vice versa. I think that color sho8ldn't matter its what goes with the relationship that does matter.

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  9.   chatotekoa says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 09

    Well I am going to put my two cents in. I am a white male that dates only Black women. I find them so sexy and beautiful that no other women compare to them. I have been dating Black women for about twenty years and will continue to date them for the rest of my life. Maybe one day I will be luckie enough to Marry one. I will love them with my heart and soul forever. I could sit here all night telling you what I like about all Black women, but all and all it is my choice and I will never let anyone in this world tell me it is wrong to love them. For people that think that way will never know the joys of loving a beautiful Black woman. And if all of you Black and White would stop worrying about what other people think it would make us all better people. And all of you people that would like to date outside your race shame on you. You maybe missing the best thing in your life..........

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  10.   paula99 says:
    Posted: 31 Mar 09

    sheshe68 ... i was reading your comment you want my take.. people are so superficial.... they suck wait until you get my age.. you are going to say f--ck it!! i feel we spend to much time on being insecure and not happy with self. you get what you put out in the universe.

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  11.   LISA1 says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 09

    Everyone is entitled to their own preference in men. I agree you are not a sell out. You just found someone who loves you for you. Congratulations to you.

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  12. Posted: 30 Mar 09

    Mr Laurelton Queens, Just what 'issues' I have with black men? I only have issues with black men like YOU! Do you even know what a sellout is? Your response clearly dictates that you do NOT! Having a preference for white men does not make me a sellout anymore than it makes a black man one for having a preference for white women. For the record; a sellout is one that brings forth children and not care, provide or spend quality time with them and one that is a disgrace to their communities is what a sellout is! I love white men and they; especially my husband loves me back! BLACK WOMEN AND WHITE MEN WILL CONTINUE TO DATE, FALL IN LOVE, HAVE MIND BLOWING SEX AND MARRY OH AND YES; HAVE BEAUTIFUL BABIES; AND THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO STOP IT!!!!!

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  13. Posted: 30 Mar 09

    Derek880 To let you know, blackmen also have awful attitudes and are just as difficult to deal with, which is why I don't and have long opened up my options and have married out. Your grossly inaccurate account of whitewomen being 'soft' and not combative is something that shows your confusion. If you like white women, then so what? I for one could care LESS who black men choose to love as I will celebrate my options and not look back. I too have found the same options in men when I broaden my horizons as you found in women. But I don't blame black men, but typical black men like you who chooses to blame and site black women as his reason for dating out. Should'nt you date white women because of them and how you relate and not because of black women?

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  14. Posted: 30 Mar 09

    Chris Rock is wrong....I love all men of all races. I have found MEN to be attractive period...there is always something special about everyone if you look. It is a matter of choice for both parties. Men of all nationalities need not to be afraid to approach a African American woman!

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  15.   vxdblla says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 09

    truebeing that was very well put by the way... and mr laurelton you are too much, lol

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  16.   T says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 09

    damn... all this for one misinformed man's comment... we all have options...some less than others, granted;P but it's our own personal right to make our own personal decisions with these options. i find beauty in all men... it has nothing to do with "what a white man CAN/WILL do" for me or "what a black man DOESNT/WONT do" for me. i dont want/need a push over nor do i want/need "hitler"....i want an equal.. i have alot to bring to the table on different levels and i'd want and appreciate a MAN who can and will do the same.... i want a MAN who know who the hell he is and respects the fact that i know who i am... i dont need a father nor do i want some other woman's grown ass man for my son... for me it's all about where the hell you are in your life...meaning if you wanna hang in the hood you will find a hood man-black, white, latino, yes asian and yes other... if you always seem to find that the men or women you're dating say the same thing or do the same thing as the jerk you just left then maybe you need to take a look at where you're finding them... we (men and women)need to stop pointing the finger and being angry about who's doing what and who's dating who in another race... i have two daugthers and one son... and i would tell them this- neither one of you should date ANYONE because of WHAT they can DO FOR YOU, you will screw yourself EVERYTIME! However, if you found someone who will DO ALL that makes you happy BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU for BEING YOU then GO FOR IT! just grow up and be about yourself and what you want and you wont even care what black man is dating a white or latino woman, or vice damn versa... i am PROUD of WHO the hell I am and I LOVE ME...NOBODY VALIDATES ME BUT ME! if A MAN does not want T, then I MOVE AROUND! white, black, or other...and that's how everybody needs to be. you cant MAKE a black man want a black woman, you cant make a latino man want a latino woman...it's about choice and options...and yes if you have several options then dammit take them... and dont let one "silly" married man tell you, black woman, that you are mad because you dont have options..it is a co that anyone other than black doesnt want you. this interracial dating site and if we (black women) had no options there would be there would be no comments or messages or any acknowledgements in our boxes, profiles, and what have u... and i like halle berry by the way, and yea monster's ball wasnt the best role for her to have received and oscar but come on-yes eric had a damn job, but he couldnt keep his dingaling in his pants... thats not about color thats about his principals and morals so hell she was right to leave his ass... so anywho on to the next...one

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  17.   ynlvr says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 09

    EVERYONE has options! We create our own opportunities. Those complaining usually are not making something happen, they are waiting on the sidelines for something to happen. We are all entitled to our own opinions. However, keep in mind Chris Rock is a comedian. Think sensationalized. Think building a story around speculation. Facts are just that...facts. Man and woman; interest or no interest. Take it from there. I have dated interracially for most of my dating life. You (and those who know me) can speculate on a million reasons why I am open to date interracially and I will you this; I accept or request a date with a man I am ATTRACTED to and ultimately INTERESTED in learning more about. PERIOD. I am attracted to men and those who stimulate my interest may come from various cultural backgrounds. By the way, attraction and staying power are two very different things. We often talk cultural diversity and accpetance. Some of us choose to LIVE it! I have a black girlfriend that only dates tall black men. FACT: She is attracted to men taller than her (she's 6'). FACT: She is attracted to black men. What's the issue? Would it be different if she were white with those same preferences?

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  18.   Stargazer08 says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 09

    Black women are exploring interracial dating partly because there are fewer available Black men. Lots of complicated reasons for that. But to say that Black women aren't attracted to White men is silly. The attraction has always been there. The questions w/BW-WM dating are: (1) is the attraction mutual, (2) do we have enough in common,(3) can we work together bridge cultural gaps to create something meaningful, (4) can we get our needs met? As Black women realize that the answers to those questions can be YES, more will date interracially. Now, the interracial dynamic for BW exists for A LOT of reasons. First, we're all busy and therefore, don't have time to deal with anything we believe/perceive doesn't work for us. Second, racial/social barriers are changing. Third, there's a lot of stereotyping going on between Black men and women. Finally, we all feel more empowered to be true to ourselves in pursuing what we believe meets our needs. As far as I'm concerned, I hope Black women take their time deciding to date outside the race -- at least until I find "the one." (smile)

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  19.   Stargazer09 says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 09

    Black women are exploring interracial dating partly because there are fewer available Black men. There are a lot of complicated reasons for that. But to say that Black women aren't attracted to White men is silly. The attraction has always been there. The questions w/BW-WM dating are: (1) is the attraction mutual, (2) do we have enough in common and (3) can we work together bridge cultural gaps to create something meaningful, (4) can i get my needs met? As Black women realize that the answers to those questions can be YES, more Sistas will date interracially. Now, the interracial dynamic for BW exists for A LOT of reasons. First, we're all busy and therefore, don't have time to deal with anything we believe/percieve doesn't work for us. Second, racial/social barriers are changing. Third, there's a lot of stereotyping going on between Black men and women. Finally, we all feel more empowered to be true to ourselves in pursuing what we believe meets our needs. As far as I'm concerned, I hope Black women take their time deciding to date outside the race -- at least until I find "the one." (smile)

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  20.   MzFierce says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 09

    First off, I joined this site because I wanted to explore my options. I have been single for years since I lost my spouse to an accident and am now ready to meet people. I am open to dating outside of my race but I have to find you physically, mentally and socially attractive. All in all, it boils down to aesthetics(physical attraction is usually the first attraction), your way of thinking and everything else afterwards. I have read many, not all,of the comments on here, however, some of you sound irrational, self-absorbed and seem to have complexes. Kudos to: bitchkitty you are well spoken and make some very good points; Thanks for clarifying the British English spelling and grammar for Mr. Laurelton because I think he needs to get out of his Ghetto-Centric, narrow-minded point of view. One thing that you said that I didn't agree with is that "white men have better vocabularies, tend to embrace education and intellectual pursuits and honestly, have brighter futures than many black men"...where I am from, that is far from the truth. There are disparities in this regard based on where you are situated in the world. Unfortunately, your opinion reflects the negative opinion that the media has projected about black men. On the topic of media, I must add that one can no longer say that, "Black Women are sellouts" because they get rhinoplasties, wear weave or perm their hair to look like the white women they see in the media. It is a growing, yet hidden, or denied truth that white women find many features on black women attractive, for example the glutes or full lips and thus, they get implants and/or injections. In actuality, I could be as ignorant as Mr. Laurelton and shoot of some irrational assumption that they fear our beauty and want to look like us so they can stay attractive to their own men who are going after black women...NOT!!! I doubt this is the truth, all of these desires to look different are projections of what the media has exploded as beautiful. How come BIG BOOTIES were not acceptable on a mainstream basis until women, other than white women, became spectacles of the media, ie. J-LO and Beyonce? I say mainstream because media projections mainly sway popular opinion.(I don't know if you all catch my drift?) GOSH! I have so much to say. Please forgive me for this long post. Mr. Laurelton: You have no business attacking people on here or berating them because of their experiences. You implicated Dimplesss as a "traitor" to the black community? Where did you get the idea that because someone grew up in a middle-class neighbourhood that made them a traitor, as if to say all black people belong in the Ghetto, or in a housing project, or some lame shit like that? Your suggestion makes you seem like a jealous individual who is ashamed of your own situation. If you are so proud and so down with your community, why are you bashing BLACK WOMEN because they have chosen to date white men? Your obsession with black women saying black men have done them wrong and forced them to date outside of their race, stems from a deep-rooted problem you have within yourself. Just like A black man can come on here in the GOOD NAME of ALL BLACK MEN saying black men choose to date white women because black women drove them there, a black WOMAN can equally say she dates white men for the same reason; black men drove her away. So WHY then, aren't you defending the pride of many black woman and saying that we are beautiful and attractive and capable of good/positive things? Instead, you are supporting the negative opinions, prejudices and biases that people like DJTeel have of our people--MALE or FEMALE. Get your head out of your ASS!! Unfortunately, you are no better than DJTeele, or the many black men who equally berate their own black women by treating them like sex symbols based on how much their booties can POP. Just the same, you generalize about black men dating white women because black women have driven them in that direction and you claim to be defending BLACK MEN in the name of the BLACK COMMUNITY. What good are you doing for your COMMUNITY when you claim "it is real simple, you[black women]date thugs, drug dealers and hustlers". Is that your equation of black men? It shouldn't be. You claim to be educated and professional and I'm sure that you are no exception in the Black Community. Kudos to you! You chose a different path...that's what it boils down to...CHOICES. Why don't you talk about the BLACK MEN who walk past black women that are living in the projects, with their heads in their books, classified as "WHITE WASHED" because they have expanded vocabularies, to look for a white woman that could save them from the GHETTO or PROJECTS? There are many black men with the "WHITE HEROINE" mentality, therefore, being driven away by black women IS NOT the SOLE reason black men date white women. What do you have to say about the black men that talk about white women being promiscuous pushovers that are easy to control? Man GET YOUR HEAD OUT YOUR ASS!!! Am I hearing some kind of double standard? I have to wonder if Queens has a Public Health Department that monitors pollution because you are NO GOOD for the ENVIRONMENT!!! Based on your thoughts about Dimplesss' marriage, as you said,"I think your 1 anecdotal story about your failed marriage to a black man is interesting but that does not represent all black men.";it is evident that you have some form of critical thinking to know that one situation or the few, or even several examples you, or anyone may have been exposed to cannot be a representation of the majority, or should not be the basis for any conclusion. On that note, your opinion basically suggests that either way you spin the bottle, "Black women are a last resort just as white men are a last resort"...That makes NO SENSE because a preference is a preference;it doesn't matter if we're talking about the white boy who grew up in the projects around a majority of black people,or a black girl who grew up in the suburbs with a majority of white people, or vice versa, people tend to gravitate towards what they know. It takes BEAUTIFUL people to step out of their comfort zone, especially when they are up against diseases like bigotry, racism, and sexism. Mr.LAURELTON, you are NOT racist! YOU are a BIGOT! Your hypocrisy and shallow arguments don't mean much in a world where people are dying from starvation, lack of healthcare and political unrest. I don't know what you learned with your degree in Sociology but you sure do fit the profile of a CRIMINAL. Go ahead and HIDE behind your computer. I don't mind showing my face. I take risks in the name of JUSTICE!!!

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  21.   Derek880 says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 09

    I think he was trying to make people really look at the situation. I date white women now as well as Black women. But I starting enjoying myself much more when I opened myself up to my options. I'm not speaking for everyone, just myself, but I had become exhausted with the Black women I was coming across, who were argumentative, and had decided that they would tell me that I was not a man. Yet these same women were involved with thugs and ex-boyfriends who were in jail. (I guess these were the real men...). I'm in my 40's, so it was ridiculous to come across Black women this screwed up and accept the notion that I had to end up with someone like this. When I finally decided to open up my options to White women as well, I found a whole new type of woman, who simply wanted to be my woman. She didn't want to compete with me, or argue, she just wanted to be with me. As Black men, our options are more open now than ever. I still think Black women are the most beautiful women on the planet, but beauty is just surface. It's a lot of the stuff underneath that turns me off. I know a lot of Black women will claim that Black men who date White women just can't handle a strong Black women, but that's just an excuse to act a fool in my opinion.

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  22.   kahlua says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 09

    Men (regardless of ethnicity)have always found it easier to do things outside traditional boundaries. Example,now that more women are dating younger men, one can still hear crude and mean comments..a man can date anyone who is of legal age even if he is 90 and will not receive the same response if it was the reverse. Traditionally, Black women are/were expected to be more conservative than men in choosing partners.

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  23.   BayLayD64 says:
    Posted: 30 Mar 09

    Wow, what a great discussion we have going here. I'm glad to see everyone dialoging about this issue because it opens up an opportunity for communication. As a woman of mixed ethnicity who has always had a bent towards dating men of European decent, though one may have a certain preference for dating, one should consider the fact we are really all from one race.....The Human Race. The hue of one's skin should never be a factor when choosing a romantic counterpart. I have seen attractive men within all the ethic groups. What matters to me is a persons’ character. Racial groups will always have there differences when it comes to "Culture". There are many things I like about some cultures and not some things about others. If you ask me, it really should be about finding someone to love who loves you back, "color" aside. Love see's no color so why should I? Let's stop picking by the shade of one's skin and start looking to the heart to find that love we are all searching for. I think we'll all do much better if we give this method a try.

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  24. Posted: 30 Mar 09

    To:LOVELY1970 Excellent response.

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  25. Posted: 29 Mar 09

    I think people need to let go of all the hate. Who cares what the color of the skin is? It is all a circumstance of birth. If I, as a white woman want to date a black man or if a black woman wants to date a white man, whose business is it anyway? It seems that every time a black man dates a white woman or a black woman dates a white man they are called a "Sell Out." I think selling out is when you sell out your own heart just because others may not like your choice in a life partner. Life is too short to limit your chance of true love to the color of someone's skin. It's all ignorance.

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  26.   Member says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 09

    I heard some of the commentary. Someone some "hood talk" about helping a white man stomp me out. Anyway, I will stick to my opinion on why white men are reluctant to marry black women. It just seems to me that black women always state "what the white man can do for me", opposed to what they are bringing to the table. I am going to repeat this because there is many people her that are self righteous. We are ALL biased in some form. You may call me ghetto because I grew up in a black neighborhood in Jamaica Queens NYC. The same people that call me ghetto or even grew up in middle class neighborhood do not exactly have white men beating down their door either. If interracial dating was so good then both parties which in include black men who date outside of race wouldn't need to leave their "comfort zone". Why you got to sneak to a white neighborhood to fuck a white girl and vice versa. I am going to address people who have read my blog and say I bash black women. I don't bash anybody who didn't have it coming to them. When you stop worshiping the white man and downing black men I will let it go. I really don't think that will be happening anytime soon. Simply because sellout black women and their egos can't accept a black man being successful. They will uphold their white man that picks up garbage and make him look like 'Bill Gates". Stop comparing yourself to Halle Berry and these other sellout black girls that whored themselves to the top. Halle Bery ended her own career being a whore for a racist white man's son in Monster's Ball. These are the idols that black women should look up too. Currently she is supporting an unemployed white man. At least Eric Benet had a job. By the way I am not angry, I just came from church my fiancee was baptized today. My message is pure and spiritual. STOP BEING PICKED LAST BY WHITE MEN. Good day http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/

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  27.   truebeing says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 09

    Regardless of what one entertainer says, it's all about what you're goal is for dating. Yes, there are some people that only date a specific race because they may feel more comfortable with that race or like some posters here, are very bitter about a particular race's gender. I get approach by all races of men. Some want to date me to "see how it feels" to date a black woman and others are geniunely interested in dating me. Now whether I choose to date them is my choice. I don't purposely look for a certain race and I am attracted to men period, especially my ebony brothers (thank you God for the black man!). I can be a little shallow with looks rather than content, but that's dating so it's actually normal. You tend to go with what's pleasing to the eye first than content later. People shouldn't get so bent out of shape because a certain race or person they want isn't into them. Rejection hurts and it happens to all of us in some form or another. People need to just relax because there are tons of men out there and if one doesn't want you, there are many that will. Just my two cents worth. :-)

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  28.   lstbreathin says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 09

    Black women have no option? Bullshit, they have alot of options! Despite what any man or woman on this site says you have the right to choose what’s best for you. All this idiocy about Black women dating White men, foolish. Bigots will find ways to push buttons, and make you become less than yourself in hopes to make YOU look ignorant. You know you deserve to be happy, you know you deserve love. Stereotypes are hilarious, half assed opinions passed down through ignorant people. Give them the soapbox if you want, they will run with that shit, lol. Maybe I should have just stayed in Iraq! Lol. You have that right Black, White, or otherwise.

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  29.   Member says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 09

    Dear Pretty brown eyes You have issues with black men. So what is your point sellout. Have a nice day.

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  30.   Damsel34 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 09

    I grew up around whites my whole life. My sisters are all married to white men. My Brother dated white women. I have no problem with black men dating white women because I am not attracted to black men so why would I give any thought to who they date ? Nor do I give a darn what they think of me preferring white men over them. It's none of their business.

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  31. Posted: 29 Mar 09

    CB035, Mr Laurelton Queens is an insipid idiot that has isues with black women successfully loving and being loved by white men, yet say NOTHING to all of the black men tht doing the same with white women. Typical hypocrite.

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  32.   CB035 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 09

    Now that is funny..."beat them off with a stick"..LOL...for real...where in the hell is that at??...and why do u have to beat them off with a stick?..somethin wrong with that scenario.... Ive been to the caribbean..love it there...tried latina women...love them too...never dated an Asian woman... As far as me being "white"...im not...on my profile ive listed "mixed"...my mother is mexican and my father is a creole from LA...deep in the swamp....so im mixed with almost a little of everything...but i try to embrace all of the cultures in my life for not only me but my children too...Im a proud single father raising two teenage daughters (16,15) by myself in houston,Tx and I wouldnt change a damn thing... But some of these folks really are trippin...LOL!!

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  33.   Member says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 09

    LOL CBO Life is good for white guys when it comes to interracial dating with black women. Things are so good. I went to Stormfront white nationalist website. Some guy said "He has to beat the black women off with a stick". CBO Caribbean women actually would break their back for you. Even some Latin women too. We won't even mention Asian women. At the end of the day a majority of black women tend to be loyal. That is all you can ask for. You know things are bad when Stormfront is like " tell your black women to beat it". (Shaking my head)

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  34.   CB035 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 09

    1st of all there are hood everywhere and ignorant people all over the place...I dont have to go to daytona florida to prove a point to anybody..All i was saying is stand up for what is yours...Of course there are times to walk away too...gotta live for another day...And mam im no "boy" at all...Im a grown azz man that handles my business.. Mr.Queens...sir there are alot of points that i really agree with what you are saying...It sure does seem like the "sistas" on this site are looking for weak azz white men...wow... What im reading is all about what someone else is going to do for "me" or "how i need to be treated"....

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  35.   honey044 says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 09

    As a black woman I find some white men very attractive. I believe also they find black women attractive but there is still stigma involved with marrying or seriously committing to a black woman for white men. The real men who don't care about being casted out of the boys club or losing high end positions or the families trust fund won't care. Others will sleep with black women but we will never make it to their home. I know friends who once a black man dates a white woman would never consider dating the man. I also wonder if white men feel the same way when white women date black men, are they upset and angry?

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  36.   L.MDDLTON says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 09

    laurelton, im sorry but i will have to agree with jaquentin,you the only one here whos comments i myself being a black man have found to be offensive!you are clearly bashing and disrespecting black women and hating on the white man!you are right you have your right to your own opinion but you need to tone it down.state your opinion without the hatred and people will respect you more for it!i dont find anything offensive that jaquen has said and i dont think he hates black men or hates white women.i feel the same as he does we should be able to date anyone we want regardless of their color so stop hatin!!dont play yourself duke you startin to sound like the angry black man!! i give jaquen his props and he can roll w me anytime! dont be mad cause he pulled the ace out the deck and made you eat your own words!!youve played yourself he was only keepin it real and i respect him more then you your a disgrace to black people.and why you gotta bring his mom into it thats just wrong duke. shit id help him stomp you out!!

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  37.   Member says:
    Posted: 29 Mar 09

    Dear Edubble Your white man should have let his "hammer" go off. I have been jumped on by groups of men before. I know some white boys in New York would let their gun go off. Not everyone is the same I guess. That is one of the good things of being dark skin. They just think I am going to let my gun go off. They be like "Oh I ain't mean it", damn shame you have to defend yourself against your people. I ain't surprised, they was hating on him way before and took the opportunity to come after him. I have seen them bump white men on purpose just to get them to react. My thing is watch out for the "lone white boy" with a group of black men. He is the dangerous one. He must have done some shit to be hanging out with tough Negros in the hood. White boy posted up in the hood like he live there and don't got a badge or anything. Also, watch from them biracial black men in the hood too. Same rules apply. I remember two of the hardest guys in the hood was biracial. Mommy was lily white. They use throw niggas threw the windows. Always had dark skin girls with them. (no offense just telling the story) LOL

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  38.   edubble says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 09

    what white boy u know 5'8 and a buck five wet is gonna stand up to 10 grown ass country fed black men wit sticks and rocks???? Maybe if we were strapped coo but we were thinkin of the safety of our second child who was still inside me, and I wanted him to live to see him! I dont need a superman I need a smart man! when we moved back to WA everything was ladeeda and nuttin but mixed couples everywhere! Go to Soul City projects or the Hill on Mason in S. Daytona white boy! Guarantee we see yo picture on a milk box dude! Trust, I got fam still there that wouldn't even acknowledge my husband and that was bein nice for them! And im talkin more alternative than jus chix! and it's only gone get worse we got a black pres, so u know who already hatin and end of the world comin soon everybody gone lose they mind! Get ready!

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  39.   Member says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 09

    Hey Edubble I would agree with CBO. You have to stand up for your woman regardless of color. I might be relocating from New York to Orlando Florida. I lived in Kissimmee for about a year. I did not really see racial tension. Although, some people told me to stay out of some parts of Florida. I go where I please so I am not concerned. I am hearing that Florida is in a full blown recession no jobs at all. I might have to rethink it. I agree white folks to lenient with their child. By the way my Fiancee leads an "alternative lifestyle" she has her "female friends" let's just say. Yea I believe in being strict with your children. That is an interesting topic how interracial couples raise their children. That opened my eyes I never knew race relations are getting worse. Then again I am not surprised. No jobs, people competing for jobs, throw race in it and you got a powder keg.

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  40.   CB035 says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 09

    What grown man will walk 10 paces behind or in front of "his" woman?...No matter where yall at?...I dont know what its like where yall from?...But I know it cant be too worse than TX or LA where my family is from...Im sorry I have a problem with any man who cant hold his head up and shoulders back when he's in the company of his "queen"...

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  41.   edubble says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 09

    Why good Im glad and thank u for not comin at me all hostile! lol My husbands flaw, not really flaw jus personnal opinion on how kids should be able to jump on couches and not have chores and shit like that I was raised differently, you respect the house and furniture and chores is just a setup for lifes responsibility. And to correct you I said I can get away wit more meaning like i can be home late from work and aint no fight its jus hi hunny where as the black man woulda swore I was cheatin or somethin! And I kinda have an "alternative" lifestyle that the black man aint too open to! As for the men in in FL apparently you never been to Soul City I'm assuming. Let alone thats an all black college, no one provoked no one I was simply holding his hand when I noticed we were gettin followed. I was raised in Fl and WA and still its like slavery left a curse down there or something but we learned quick and were fine as long as he walked 10 paces behind me! White men get jumped on all the time where i'm from just for walkin the wrong way! But yes I do love my niggas!

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  42.   Member says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 09

    Dear Edubble You did say white boys are easier "to get over on". That was your words. You have a right to feel that way. I personally wouldn't be with someone I could get over on. As for how your divorce ended, most divorces do not end that way. It is good you can be civil towards each other. At the same time, you did divorce him not the other way around. There was a flaw in him that you did not like. I think you do like black men. You said you ain't mean you can walk over white men. You might have said it the wrong way. Clearly, you think they are soft compared to black men. As for Bethune Cookman, I don't know what could set that off for black men to come after you like that. Clearly, you do not sound innocent. It would take somebody provoking somebody for that to happen. I have never seen any black men chase an interracial couple like that. Most of the time people ignore a black woman with a white man. Not much your white man could do if a bunch of black men want his head. That is unusual if you ask me. Black men don't chase a white man for no reason. Anyway, I see your point.

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  43.   Bluepools says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 09

    edubble... You have just confirmed my response and my opinion. Stop complaining and start raising your standards. Ask yourself... What do you do to attract these type of men?

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  44.   edubble says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 09

    wow such a simple discussion got so heated! Mr LQ is exactly why I date white men I haven't met one yet who asked for his ring back or rules wit an iron fist! Im a grown ass alpha female and I had a daddy, didn't care 4 what he had to say either, he was spanish, white and black and told his 2 only daughters please dont bring a black man home, he'll be as sorry as me! so your preference I agree wit o girl does come from how u were raised. I didnt come from no "hood" and drop 40 pounds 4 no white dude to xcept me, I was raised round nothin but rich white folks in the burbs cuz my black momma did the damn thing w/o the black man she so adores and had children wit , no help and I'm 5 10 and as thick as can be and married the prettiest sweetest white boy who weighed a buck five drippin wet!like he say, only a dog wants a bone! I aint sad bout our divorce, hes my best freind to this day! As two adults who took care and spent on each other I expect if we break up we can shake hands and go bout our business, not strip down to our drawls givin shit back! thats the gayest most childish shit I ever heard and provides truth for the stereotype of black men -cheap, abusive, angry, controlling- who wants to be with that, white or black????? white girls just be so sprung off the big deezy they go retarded, us black woman know yo deezy ain't gon pay the bills, ain't gon play outside wit the kids, and definitly no matter how good you lick it or put it down aint gon make your personality any better. Not to say oh date a white man and walk over him NO white dudes are chill, giving, mature, (well the ones i've dated)they know they dick or they mouth game aint gone get em through life so they keeps a job and a car all this ol petty shit yall arguin back and forth the white boy im seein now woulda been like please can we smoke one and cut the bullshit it aint really that serious! I love my black men dont get me wrong ive tried, either they feel like i dont need them (cuz I do me and aint blowin em up all day like the white girl),or they wanna play my kids xbox360 and chill on my couch all day, or they think I'ma let em beat me like the last chic and be suprised when they be the one callin the cops cuz I dun cut they ass tryna defend myself! I dont care if u cuttin tomatoes at wendy's jus do somethin productive! but seems black men have this undeserved pride where they cant do such things, but make no strides to go to school and better themselves, or either the warrant they hidin from wont allow them too! Us black woman gotta step it up, naw I think it's ya'll black men, i see us gettin ours regardless so dont hate its our time to step out now y'all been doin it for a minute now. Recently, I took my dude to Florida, Bethune Cookman College to be exact, we got chased outta there by black dudes, throwin rocks at us and when we made it to the car safe they spat on the car! I was trippin and for the first time a liitle embarrassed for my race. Dont hate cuz u cant handle a woman wit more power and money and independance than you. I'm sure those black dudes went right back home to they mommas house and was talkin bout the cute girl holdin the white boys hand!While my dude brags on my status and tells everyone I make so much $ he should just quit his job! He ain't, but it's cute to me, he excepts me witout me havin to dumb myself down. I once wit this black dude and we was takin the kids to the pizza and play place, i was payin of course, he actually asked me to give him the $ before we went in so he could (pretend to) pay! WTF??? Pride is earned not bought or faked! Sorry for the rampage ,I believe I might've pissed someone off but this is ridiculus ask those comedians what color they wife is! they jus tryna make us laugh I dont even take em seriously. why we black women gotta be sellouts for steppin out, we'd b sellouts if we put up wit drama we already have too much of! I got kids i dont have time to raise a man! Find who your equally yolked wit, doesnt have nuttin to do wit skin, but the spirit of a person!

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  45.   Last_Prince says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 09

    WOW! this is interesting after reading several of the above comments all I have to say is when are we (humans) going to wake up, who cares what color the skin, yeah! yeah! I know quite well the history of this country, it's vicious ways, but you know, life is to short, all I need is to be seen for whom and what I'm. Chris rock who's just a comic feeding on old fears of old minds, created to keep people apart. look we are born with two fears, the fear of falling and the fear of loud sound, all other fears we create.

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  46.   Member says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 09

    Dear Paul Thank you for the comments. Clearly Jaq is an angry white man. I am glad you was able to see that. Oprah 'Wimprey" yea "wimprey" her last name. She was clapping her hands saying "Hercules Hercules" when Steve Harvey was talking. This is the problem with old "negros" like Steve Harvey. They believe they can be womanizers, and in turn, when their son does it, they get all self righteous. Similar to how my father is. He can yell and scream at my mother. Yet, when I check his ass for that. He starts huffing and puffing and says to me "you do not respect me". He is a gemini so that is another story. Do I want black women to raise the bar? No, I want them to fail like Rush Limbaugh wants Obama to fail because it wouldn't benefit black men. Some men feel this way. I just keep it real. Black women have the power to turn around behavior in men. They just go about all wrong. You ever see a white woman jump in a white man face and tell "him everything he is doing wrong". They do soft power, where as, black women just "jump out the window" on everything. They too emotional and they fight among themselves. If they get knocked up and their baby father leave. It is the black man fault. Sure, we share the blame but 70 percent of you put your hand on the stove!!!!!! Sorry that is your fault now. A white man will not solve the underlying issue for these sellout black women. A white man can only be emasculated so long before he asks for a divorce or dump you. It does not surprise me that a white man wants a "Beyonce" type. Yea he wants you once you have struggled out of the hood and lost about 40 pounds. Never had a black man's child by accident. Oh yea, don't have to many black family members. Lastly, come to his "comfort zone". Good day

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  47.   Bluepools says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 09

    People.... I adore all of you! The comments.... some more than others... My opinion is that this is more our fault as females than anything else. We have placed many burdens on our men for so long and they have been expected to perform Warrior tasks over and over with out our support. I have witnessed the destruction of our men, their spirits have been oppressed, depressed, abused. Women it is our responsibility to have "our place" in the lives of our men. We can not continue to devalue their importance. If we as a society contiue to believe men and women are really equal.... what is going to happen? This country was built on the backs of very strong men, and very strong women at their sides. Now please do not misunderstand me... We are not door mats and we do not need to keep our business in the street or the boardroom. But, I have seen more women embarrass a man in public more times than I care to. This is the worst thing we can do. Ladies, men are positional.. it is about their status as men. We women are relational- we talk about feelings etc... Men need time to think about things... they can't tolerate female emotional purging- see your girlfriend or a therapist. I love strong men... I feel every bit a woman. Chris Rock did his job... Provoke thought about truth through humor. I do not think when dating a Black Man.."I'm going to enrage a Black Woman"... Nor do I think if I'm dating a White Man..."I'm going to enrage a White Woman". YOUR man will never have my number. I would never do that to another woman and never will. It is time WE- Women evaluate OUR place to the men in our life. Whimpy, man-child, passive types- no thanks! Men carry more stress... We need to be more supportive and stop complaining soo much- Look at ourselves- How do the men in our lives view us? So... Let's come together- help each other! I'm here to network and make friends, and perhaps find the man to complete my life. Peace, Judy AKA Bluepools.

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  48.   paula99 says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 09

    but i do agree with mr. laurelton on one thing steve harvey like i said .. about chris rock i love him. hes my favorite comedian. but what do they know they are comedians... and steve harvey does not know what he is talking about .. i seen oprah.. yes we do have to raise the bar. but i know a good man when i see one.!!! thats for sure. its about women making healthy choices and like i said it starts with the woman . a man will go as far as you allow him.. i grew up with eight brothers .. so you know what i was taught. do not bullshit a bullshitter okay. !! ... but anywho... you know what laurelton. you do have some points i agree. and some of us can relate. but i met whitemen with mean streaks. hell.you say that to say what dude. you can tell about the measure of a man by the way he treats you. yes you have to challenge men. I am a assertive woman. most men do not like my assertiveness, you cannot pee on my shoe and tell me its rain. okay. most are looking for women who are green no doubt. you have to know about the game and how to play it. steve harvey need to shut up.. because i believe once a womanize always a womanizer. okay.get it got it. good!! but when you let people in your circle too fast you do set your self up for pain. and heartache. before you put out.. let him prove himself. seriously .. now if you just want to get laid.. by all means have some fun. but remember if you want more. yes let the man prove himself. and if he comes back over and over.. hes into you. if he does not.. and do not call you after the first day.. move on. where am i going with this..lol. just my opinion. thats all.

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  49.   Anonymous says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 09

    Ignore "Mr. Laurentin Queens" he's on a number of BW/WM blogs/websites bad mouthing Black women.

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  50.   paula99 says:
    Posted: 28 Mar 09

    you know what i read mr. laurentin comments. see he stereotypes i find being in the dating of different cultures throughout my life .. boy i hate getting into heated debates sometimes. its a lot of men out there regardless of race that hate women. yeah they fuck us .. marry us.. but they hate women. now i find regardless of race. its all in the relationship you had with your parents. it starts from childhood. whitewomen are no different. when it comes to men. and attitudes. okay mr. laurentin this stuff has been going on for years .. people you have to understand something. your in North america... okay.. they are still taboo as wew can see about interracial dating. i had no issue overseas.. none. but came back to america.. god congressional hearing! ... but you know black women should expand their choices. just do not stop at white men my good. and people get rid of those sterotypes. its all in your person.. and your character and the people you will attract, thats all but it's sad when people have to sit around and analyze all day. no wonder they are still single. well such as myself..lol what happen with i like her i like him .. lets get together and do this. be two misfits and enjoy each other. who cares what color a person is. but if you know you cannot deal with interacial dating interpersonally i advise do not do it.. because you think its a fad.. but i find this site a joke... though i have not met one man white or black that is serious.. about dating. thats my opinion. internet dating sucks. really. i am used to real men. alpha males. i do not have time for men who have. dr, phil issues. see okay one guy emailed me for example.. he said i am looking for a BEYONCE type. you do not fit with me. i said well MF!! Upgrade! see mind you he winked at me , i think some people are delusional. and think they are going to find non humans. i. e. meaning.. not drama , no warts no teeth missing. no women with hair weaves. you get the jist. you are going to find people .. people who have kids. people who work for a living . people who have normal everyday issues if your expecting to find mr. and mrs perfect on these site your wasting your time. come on.. take chances and find love and fun and dance like no ones watching.

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