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Black women have no option?

Posted by James, 23 Mar

Warning: This post may be offensive to some readers. This is not the objective. The post is in no way meant to defame or inflame any parties, groups or persons. It is simply meant to find out what people think about black white dating.

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In a bid to explain why Black women get upset about Black men dating White women, Chris Rock in his latest stand up comedy says all Black men have done is exercised their option. He goes on to say Black women are angry because they are not attracted to white men so they can’t exercise their option. All they can do is sleep with “pretty white boys" but generally, black women are not attracted to white men.

In my opinion, the above statements suggest Black women only date interracially out of desperation. In fact, most Black men believe so. And the finger pointing between Black men and Black women never ends. I don't think this is the case though and frankly, I have never understood why Black men and Black women have to come up with such crude and prejudiced remarks while trying to figure out the reasoning behind their counterparts' dating options. YES! Options.

What do you think of Chris Rock's theory?

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636 responses to "Black women have no option?"

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  1.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 09

    MsZ17, How ya doing? "um, what does that suggest? Like, you have no frickin’ life?" I could suggest that most of us have laptops or smart phones with internet access and jobs that don't require us to do much. Some of us just love blogging and/or creative writing. I know I always have, not to mention debating. Relationships are a major part of life, so why not talk/blog about it? Laurelton has some of the most fiery comments on here, but he's not the only one yet he's always the subject of ridicule. Why do men always get the short end of the stick in here? I call it silent consent to any of the other negatives. The black men that mistreated the black women that post on this blog are not on these blogs commenting themselves. Therefore, how do you think it feels to have to bear the burden of hearing how sorry and evil we are at their expense? I'm glad that you are mature enough to not bash black men regardless of your awful relationship with one. It's something that I wish more women on here that do bash black men would understand is causing much of the debacles witnessed here. I've been seeing you on here a lot and commenting on some of the more relevant topics, too. Nice posts, by the way. See you around!

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  2.   MsZ17 says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 09

    This is REALLY sad. Black people on here bashing the hell outta each other! White women are on here because they want to date black men. White men are here becasue they want to date black women. You do NOT read comments from them bashing one another! WTF is this about??? Obviously if you're on this site, you want to meet a person of a different race. Who cares what your reasons are? Does this mean you have to curse, insult and belitte others? Some of you people are either low class, uneducated or just on here to stir up shit. It's sickening! Damn, black people can't even have a decent conversation witout tearing each other to shreds! Some of you are on here around the clock practically - um, what does that suggest? Like, you have no frickin' life? "Mr. Queens", your anger and rage at black women suggests more about YOU than any of us! I have had some AWFUL experiences with black men in the past but I am NOT on here to bash them at every turn because I DON'T CARE THAT MUCH!!!! Getting on the internet (where you are anonymous), and name calling is really immature. With that sort of behavior, I can't see ANY woman with anything on the ball wanting to date you! People can be anyone they want on the internet and use it to post things they'd NEVER say to anyone in person! Black women, PLEASE stop posting to this person. I am shocked you can't see they're only on here to spew forth their poison. Stop getting into these "pissing contests" with him/her. Get a clue!

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  3.   Member says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 09

    Let me get this right. She was married to a white man and he won't grant her a divorce. So now she is with "another white man". The new white men she calls "My white husband". Broke down Lisa Raye is missing a big chuck of the story here. Then she mentions he won't send the "paperwork over". Even better, she blames his mother for the issues in her marriage. Na his mother told your ashy ass "cook and clean for my white son". Why the fuck "he eating out every night at Burger king and Olive Garden". The recession hit, her ass ready to get a divorce and get another white sucker. Na the white man does not want to pay your trifling ass for being with another white man that is what the "paperwork" about. It makes perfect sense to me. You ain't gonna wait for no paperwork from a black man. A black man will tell you get your luggage and period stain panties and leave. You are really a trip. Not only do you break up with your husband. You want to take half his money too. Don't ever mention black men ever again. Stay in your lane as an adulteress opportunist. I hope the new guy got a prenup for your "washed up" ass. Poor white man, once you see your woman can't get along with your mom. That is a sign throw her ass out the house and find a new woman.

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  4.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 22 Jul 09

    "Many people don’t know what goes on with divorce until they or a close friend goes through it." I've heard of reconciliation. I've heard of man leaving his mother and cleaving to his wife. Yea, you are missing several points here. You needed to know of a man's Oedipus complex or whatever before you commit to something as serious as marriage. You should have seen those "momma's boy" issues long before you went to the Justice of the Peace. I know that's where you went. If you're sleeping with a man that soon, that's disgusting. You haven't been separated for years. All I can see is you let another women tear you away from your man. "Like I said earlier, bw and wm couples are exceptional people (sorry to say it but they are usually more mature) because they HAVE to be." How mature of your BW/WM union. You should have done what you told me you were going to do and not discuss your dating history with us here. You got played, however he won't get bashed along with the other white men you've dated. Have some respect for yourself. I can't even debate you anymore. I want to just make fun of you from now on, maybe invite some friends over to read your posts, then record myself reading your comments in some doofus voice and post it on YouTube with your picture on the screen in HD plus annotations. I gave you the benefit of the doubt and a decent out months ago. You should have taken it. So, it takes a court order to tell a woman when to open and close her legs now? Pathetic! No one else has a problem with me twisting their words. Maybe YOU need to just back away from your computer slowly. Some men in whites coats will be coming for you shortly. I really hope your husband and his lawyers send those copies of that prenup soon so you can get on with your life and salvage what's left of your dignity. Attacking black men is just not the way, SweetPea. Take care!

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  5.   Member says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 09

    (Rolling eyes at broken down Lisa Raye) Again your divorce is not final. Yet, you have your legs in the air for a "new white husband". You fundamentally keep missing the point. If you are sleeping with another man before the divorce is final that is adultery. That is just how it is. Then you claim he ain't "mail you the paperwork". You blame your so called ex husband "momma" for whatever reason. You never got into it. Clearly, nobody is getting through to you. Keep doing what you are doing. You didn't explain how you have 2 "husbands" if your divorce is not final.

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  6.   Peanut says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 09

    LOL!!! Queenie, When your divorce is not yet final and the judge has not stamped the decree, you are still married. ALL KINDS of things like car insurance and bills and deeds and tons of other stuff is still treated like you are together whether you are living together or not, it all depends on the agreements you sign with the lawyers. The one thing you ARE allowed to do, no questions asked, is move onto other people the moment the separation is filed. There was no OTHER man when we separated. I've never cheated on any of my boyfriends nor my husband. It's just not in my wiring. So you are categorically wrong. But I don't hold it against you. Many people don't know what goes on with divorce until they or a close friend goes through it. I think it's interesting though that you have me pegged as a woman that would cheat on her husband. Because (in your words) I'm a broke down lisa raye? You seem to think that if I CAN get male attention that I'm going to capitalize on it and sleep around. Nope, I'm a one man woman, always have been, always will be. I love myself and I only need one man to love me, not 2, 3 4 or whatever. Passion only grows stronger the longer you know someone.

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  7.   Member says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 09

    Now let me get this right. You said to ICH you have a white husband. YET, you are not technically divorced yet. I don't think you can be married and not be divorced yet. This was by your own admission broke down Lisa Raye. Here you go with the excuses as to "why" your divorce is not over yet. If a man said this, you would say he is hiding something. I just think your full of shit. You was sleeping with both men. Now you want to come off like "your innocent". His mother is in the way how? His mother must think your a slut bucket. Obviously, his delay in sending the paperwork is because he is upset at you for being an adulteress. Na you can't date when you are separated. Learn to have some self control. Your so quick to jump with another white man with money that you dropped your panties quick. I lost all respect for you. You are pathetic. Your an embarrassment to all black women. Blaming his mother. That is really "low".

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  8.   Peanut says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 09

    Okay retardation is like radiation and it's spreading. LOL!! Queenie, I'm not cheating on anyone. I'm just not divorced yet. And before either of you try to blame me for it I'll say this. It has a lot to do (at the core) with his mother! And the reason the divorce is not yet final is because he and his lawyer are having a hard time finding their way to the post office to mail off that signed paperwork to the courts. Are you saying I can't date while I'm separated?! Ich I'll get back to you. You are a serial twister.

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  9.   Member says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 09

    Tatt I know you are not defending Peanut aka Broke down Lisa Raye. She said she is not "divorced yet" but has a white "husband" spanking her that is not her husband's. This is adultery. How you have a husband and your divorce has not gone through. That means you were sleeping with two men at the same time. (throwing hands up) QQ around. This is acceptable??? Get this she says " she will not comment on why she is an adulteress" Tatt you need to speak on it. See people think I am crazy. Everything I have said about them is "true". Loose booties, mistresses, and adultery. Does the white man know what he is getting himself into??????????????????????????????????????

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  10.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 09

    And hey, ICH......you keep being you, dayummit....lol. Gotta love a person that stands away from the crowd (even IF it is not the "popular" thing to do). Peace and Blessings (Have a Great Day Everyone) tatted2death

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  11.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 09

    and in my previous post I meant to add....."..., if he was lying"....just want it to be clear that I am NOT a cynic like a lot of people on here.

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  12.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 09

    Stop lying, L. Queens.....you aren't "DONE"....lol. You won't be done until you have all the women in here on there hands and knees being you concubines/maids.....LOL. While I don't know everything of Peanut's situation (therefore won't speak on it)....I KNOW what I am about. And your whole "loose booty" scenario you have drawn ("painting" might be too sophisticated....LOL) up for me is EXACTLY when and where YOU turned YOUR world "CUUUUURAAAAZEEE"......LMAO. My post wasn't even about you, YOU EGO-MANIACAL NARCISSIST......lol. (I'd RATHER have "anger issues"....lol) Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  13.   Member says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 09

    QQ in at Tatted (The One) "Loose and promiscous" ' Painting you?????????????? I don't know when the world turned crazy. All I know an adulteress and a loose booty is the voice of reason in this room now! IM DONE!

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  14.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 09

    No one called you gay. I didn't start dating until I was 19, and my first was 17. Odd? Well, I was a nerd, and I'm attracted to many different types of women including dark skinned and nerds. Every women I been with in and out of a relationship has approached me. And whether 20 at a time or 20 over the course of 13 years, 20 is too high of a number. Less than 10 is more like it. It's funny how those kinda of men used to be valued. Yes, I guess it is worse to reject women for thier darker skin. Even worse if a man is rejected for his darker skin (duh!). Trust me, I've gotten a lot of that and I'm brown (or just 'black/African American'?). Why do men reject darker skinned black women? I don't know because I don't think in those terms. Makes no sense to me. "My husband IS white" (oh, really?) "as a matter of fact and I’d been proposed to by two other white men before him but I turned them down for very solid reasons."(I guess no one else can have solid reasons for not following through) "My divorce is not yet final.(don’t bother asking anything else about it either)" He just wasn't treating you right I imagine. I won't ask about it. It seems you can't make it work with a white man either. Did you watch those patterns carefully, more importantly did you watch “behavior” carefully to include that in your research? Through first hand experience this time? No one was slamming black women for avoiding nerds or the mechanic. There was merely a parallel being drawn as to black women ending up with 'dirt' black men instead of seeking out black men that are truly interested in loving and caring for them. After the many exchanges that we keep having, Pea, it's seems you keep missing something for some reason. Where have I ever bashed a black woman for what black women are? I haven't. Because I think saying black women are anything is stupid when I don't know all and haven't met all black women. Where have you not said anything derogatory about black men on the grounds of bragging about yourself and your infatuation for white men? This is my only issue with you. I've even sent you compliments, kudos, and stuff and you just keep coming. Where is your dad? Daddy's little girl hates you. But she's too proud of herself to tell her mother that she wishes she were never born. Anything you've mentioned about a black man is the same for any man of any race. Who cares if statistics are higher for blacks in certain areas. That doesn't make them black or black male problems. They are just problems. I hope can you can see that now from your failed relationships with white men. Open minded comments? You think celibacy is odd, all black men are crap, and men can whore themselves around without the assistance of women. That's openmindedness to you?

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  15.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 09

    While I do (REALLY) appreciate your spirit Peanut I have to say I am beginning to respect Ich more and more. First of all, what does he have to gain by exposing his (limited) relationship history in here???....NOTHING. So therefore why would he lie. I feel his pain in the sense I have had another individual here try and paint me as "loose"/promiscuous and it is nothing nice. While you have not done that to Ich it still kind of stings that his relationship history is ON FRONT PAGE right now. Please let's just agree to kill the noise on that one.....(besides, how could you EVER prove that he is lying, sis.....lol). Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  16.   Member says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 09

    Hold the HELL ON. Bitchassness ALERT (CODE RED) Peanut said this "My husband IS white as a matter of fact and I’d been proposed to by two other white men before him but I turned them down for very solid reasons. My divorce is not yet final.(don’t bother asking anything else about it either" Ho you forfeit the right speak on any matters. I am sorry I cannot take your ass serious anymore. I am a misogynist and you are an adulterer. Right Mrs Brokedown "Lisa Raye". Man you got some fucking nerve to talk and you are not even divorced yet. You don't got a husband if you are not divorced yet. I didn't know you could marry someone else and not be divorced yet. Listen do not respond to ANYBODY. Until you are divorced. You are a ho from now on. Good day.

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  17.   Peanut says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 09

    Ich, You really need to learn to master this language of ours before you start trying to spar with me. Just because you pasted some of my open minded comments from before doesn't mean I'm contradicting myself. None of the quotes you listed there are contradictory. ?? My husband IS white as a matter of fact and I'd been proposed to by two other white men before him but I turned them down for very solid reasons. My divorce is not yet final.(don't bother asking anything else about it either) I am not "tripping" about your history with women. You said (2) of them were dark and (one had to be around 12-15 years old - your first girlfriend )- and the other an adult that was your fiance. So 2 women for a lifetime is rare if not odd. Can't you just see that? Anybody can date someone for a few weeks then move on. That counts as someone you approached and were attracted to. If this only occurred with you 2 times in your whole life then that's odd! It doesn't mean you're gay (which apparently you think I'm trying to suggest since you are now accusing me of being gay) it's just odd. I wasn't suggesting that you'd be dating 20 women at the same time! But once again you CHOSE to get things twisted here just so you can trying claiming that my feelings are wrong. (“the fact that bm in this country consistently “reject” darker sinned bw. They always have. So how is that any different from the bw you mentioned that are rejecting the “nerdy” bm?” It’s different because nerds comes in all shades and are often rejected by women of any race, unless they are nerds themselves) Yeah I guess you're right, it's WORSE to be rejecting black women because of their darker skin so who's the villain there? MY point was many bm have a preference (that for better or worse) they are entitled to and bw have theirs as well. It's not fair to slam bw for avoiding "nerds" when bm tend to avoid "chocolate" women. Are YOU attracted to nerdy women? I seriously think you have ADD or some other communication disorder because you just cannot write a linear thought to save your life. And I'll stay away as long as bw are not being slammed here. That I will not tolerate. Queenie is just a garden variety misogynist and you are not far behind. So he can write statements with the words "nappy headed" in them all he wants. It just blows in the wind now.

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  18.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 21 Jul 09

    This thread is about whether black women have options or not. " isn’t that part of this whole topic? (black men exercising their options… use them, date other women, leave black women alone" "and you don’t have to stick around since this thread is about bw and wm." "And who said the other man had to be white anyway?" Are you even sure what blog you're on anymore? My first comment on this thread was in regard to Chris Rock. Is there really something wrong with me not having a "harem" as you so succinctly put it? Is it not possible for two people to grow apart for one reason or another (that's right, I'm a black man so assume the break up was my fault). And now that I think about it (skin tone has never been a factor with me), the black women I have slept with were my complexion or darker. No reason why, that's just how they were born. " I never said bm couldn’t keep their pants on. I said it was not ANY woman’s responsibility to make sure that they did. I said it was the man’s responsibility" What I said about me and my pants is beside the point. A man will sling it wherever a woman lets him. If she doesn't, it's called rape if he does. We've already been over that. "the fact that bm in this country consistently “reject” darker sinned bw. They always have. So how is that any different from the bw you mentioned that are rejecting the “nerdy” bm?" It's different because nerds comes in all shades and are often rejected by women of any race, unless they are nerds themselves. I'm still tripping off of you having a problem with my lack of promiscuity. ("I don't have a problem" is what your saying to yourself). Tell me why, after all these years, none of your white men have proposed or married you? "I’m certainly not going to discuss my dating history with you" blah blah yadda yadda shut it. That's right, men don't want to get married until they're old or something else silly you said. Just turn lesbo with prettybrowneyes. Then you'll be ranting about which race has the best and worst women. How long will it be before you find something wrong with or start to hate black women? Please go away. Pretty please? Trust me, making you wrong is not rocket science. That's not even what I'm trying to do here. I've never told my cousins they were sucking white d!ck. So please keep my screen name out of your keystrokes. Where is your dad? Give him his sperm back. Cease to exist.

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  19.   Member says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    Hold the HELL ON. Pretty you didn't mention my name. I don't even know what your angry about. Did somebody put itching powder in your tampon. Your just mad white men use you for sex. Take your anger up with them. Don't come here ranting and raving like a Jamaican girl on the subway. People will just look at you strange. When are you going to stop using us as an excuse as to why white men will not take you serious in relationship? From my understanding, black men can't stop you from seeing white men. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO "What is stopping you now"? We haven't even mentioned the whole black woman with white men thing in 'weeks". I am ignorant simply because I don't agree with your view on dating. I will tell you what you do with your anger. Write a LONG letter to E Harmony and tell them why white men is not "checking" for me. They got everybody marked by your ashy ass. But you want to run on here and lash out at us. Go to the gym and workout then you won't have any excuses.

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  20.   Peanut says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    Oh and just so you know, when I refer to couples here, I'm referring to normal people with all their chromosomes lined up, not hillbilly hookups. Also ich, I don't watch tv but I know there are casting directors in all visual media. I do see a lot of movies though and you see the same thing in them as well. Stop trying so hard to make me wrong. I am not hurting anyone here except maybe YOU. and you don't have to stick around since this thread is about bw and wm.

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  21.   Peanut says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    Oh boy, wires were crossed. ich, first, if you only had 2 girlfriends in your whole life there is something wrong there. The fact that after all that celibacy you get engaged and then don't follow through, somethin's up there. And if you weren't celibate then the women you slept with in between your 2 gfs were not dark. Second, just in case you have this extremely rare background with women doesn't make me wrong about black men virtually ignoring dark black women in favor of light skinned or non black women. any dark skinned black woman will give you countless (personal) examples of this. Also (here you go again) I never said bm couldn't keep their pants on. I said it was not ANY woman's responsibility to make sure that they did. I said it was the man's responsibility (regardless of the woman's wanton behavior). And Julius, What's twisted about me? PBE is right about too many bm being hypocrites. I have walked down the street with my wbf and walked past plenty of bm WITH their wgf and received dirty looks from them. Most of the time that doesn't happen the other way around. These bw are too busy being happily loved and couldn't care less about the bm and his wgf. Like I said earlier, bw and wm couples are exceptional people (sorry to say it but they are usually more mature) because they HAVE to be. They get more abuse than the other IR couples and will only stay together out of deep respect and affection. Lust isn't enough to keep them together the way it CAN with other IR couples.

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  22.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    I didn't call her a name for having an opinion. I called her a name for telling me to shut up when no words or comments were previously directed toward her. Why is she going off on me? Is "simpleton" worse than a "stupid idiot"? Yea, you have to agree. There are hypocrites here. I just got attacked for my opinions and facts about myself. You called me rare, and then said I was typical. Describe a typical black men.

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  23.   prettybrowneyes says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    julius26 ich has shown himself to be a typical blackman, and calling me a simpleton proves that.

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  24.   prettybrowneyes says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    julius26 you are right, no ich is not a rare black man, but a typical one. Calling me names due to my having an opinion makes him typical. I agree with you; there are hypocrites on both sides here, but you have more black men slaming on black women as justification for dating IR which is very hyprcritical. I don't care about ich at all, he means nothing to me and he is not someone that I know or care to know.

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  25.   prettybrowneyes says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    You need to get your facts straight that's who! Ich, you are one of the many ignorant black men that I speak of; simple as that. I have issues with ignorant blackmen, not blackmen in general; makes me no difference to me wheather you believe it or not. you, laurenton for starters but that is besides the point, you have made it clear that ignorant black men exist. i never made any blanket statements about blackmen, only ignorant black men. you bbd crew members. You are such a stupid idiot!

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  26.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    Who needs to get their facts straight? It was assumed that I MUST have dated such and such number of women and that assumption supposedly supported an earlier comment. Did it really? The assumption maybe, but not the truth. You don't have issues with "ignorant black men", you have issues with black men period. I have no issues with anyone dating interracially. I have cousins that are married interracially to white men. Besides, how many ignorant black men do you know on this blog? Why not called them by name rather than just "black men"? Oh, because black men like me are so rare that such harsh blankets statements about black men should be properly distributed amongst those to which they belong before they get to me, right? You're such a simpleton!

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  27.   julius26 says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    No prettybrowneyes ichibod is not a rare blackman, not every blackman puts it about. And as for the blackmen who dislike IR there are plenty of whitemen, chinsemen, indiamen and latinomen who dislike it also.And yes i dont like black men who do IR but slam black women for doing it, but there are also black woman who think the same thing. Hypocrite on both sides iam afriad

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  28.   Member says:
    Posted: 20 Jul 09

    QQ in the room I just waiting until my name is mentioned. I will be the first black man to get a cyber space restraining order if a woman talk to me like that.

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  29.   prettybrowneyes says:
    Posted: 19 Jul 09

    Ich, just because you are a rare black man does not make you special. Im not aiming my guns any the wrong black men, only ignorant black men; and those that date IR yet have issues with black women dating IR. Now unless you are one of those men, then get your facts straight and SHUT UP!

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  30.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 19 Jul 09

    And I thought you said you didn't watch much TV. You're right, I'm no Don Juan. I've only had 2 girlfriends in my 31 years of life. Both of them we're black. And I was engaged to one. How's that for a man knowing how to keep his pants on... and a black one, at that. Still aiming your guns at the wrong black men. You're hurting yourself, Sweet Pea. Stop it!

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  31.   julius26 says:
    Posted: 19 Jul 09

    Peanut i think your twisted

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  32.   Taffy000 says:
    Posted: 19 Jul 09

    There are attractive and unattractive men and women of all races. Personally I like a physically attractive man. I could not date a White man just because he's a White man. As I've gotten older, and been online I find myself attracted to men from other cultures. They generally have an understanding about racial issues that a lot of White man may not have. I think some older White men think all they need to pick up a Black woman is to post a photo of themselves posed next to a car, any car and in front of a house. In their mind, the car and house indicate their wealth. I mean after all, is a Black woman going to have her own house & car.....(ARRGGHHHH) While I know there have to be some women out there who view a White man as some sort of free ticket, I'm not like that. Not all Black women grew up on welfare with no daddy in the home. I really can't stand the men who have never dated a Black woman but claim they would "love to." We all know just what they would love to do. I don't think it's fair to narrow this attitude of dating a man you're not attracted to avoid a situation or to better yourself financially to Black women.

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  33.   Peanut says:
    Posted: 19 Jul 09

    (Menelik asks: Just out of interest, can you tell me WHO controls and operates “the white media”? Who is that is spreading this notion that Black women are not attractive? White women?) You may have hit the nail on the head right there. Take a look at the credits in any movie or tv show in which you see a bw character that is stereotypically unattractive in some way and notice the name of the people that did the casting. when the director asks for a bw the casting director send a pile of head shots and videos. The casting directors do the initial selecting and the director makes the final choice. (Menelik asks: are you still here, Peanut? I thought (hoped) you’d get a nice white boy, move to the burbs, have your own bi-racial kid, comb its wavy black hair, glory in its complexion, and leave Black men the-hell-alone!) That's precisely what I have done you potato. You read enough of my posts to generate resentment towards me but somehow missed the idea that I'm not looking to date bm. I don't know if you are black menelik but I would like to ask also, why there are some many black men on this thread saying anything at all anyway? ichabod, I'm not saying you are some don juan but you MUST have dated at least 20 women in your lifetime and if one of the darker ones was 12 yrs old and the only other one came years later than that's 2 out of 20 women. That only supports my earlier comment.

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  34.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 18 Jul 09

    The media might not completely shape everyone's mind but it sure does have an impact on those that let it go unchecked. Yes, there are women that still prefer whatever they prefer....and there are also women that do everything in their power to emulate the images they see in the magazines and on TV at the very same time. Individual choice is just that and the discussion will continue because it obviously NEEDS to when there are "cancerous" thoughts floating around out there. We may not ever be able to wipe them out completely .....but make no mistake; it is a battle....A CONSTANT BATTLE. These repeatitive blog topics about how "sad" the black woman is and "why isn't she married"...blah-blah...are just another form of media that ALOT of people read and ABSORB. People are coming away from these blogs with certain views. My wish is that they will see that women that are willing to speak their minds (EVEN to the aforementioned "ad nauseum") on this matter and NOT let negativity run rampant. One-upping is NOT the issue here at all. I am no better or worse than any one person on here....BUT I will not succumb to the nonsense either....Just setting all that straight... Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  35.   Elyse says:
    Posted: 17 Jul 09

    black people, don't you ever get tired of it? i mean really, the bickering, the negativity, the one upping? on every website it is the same, why do black people feel they own each other? it is stifling on some levels. Why are we made to explain ourselves ad nauseum. i sure don't. i am well aware of how racist this society is to the core, i have seen the racist hypocrisy of both blacks and whites. maybe alot of black women aren't interested in white men, why wouldl they be, most never grew up with them or have only seen the negative doings of racist white male america. on the other hand, on tv the whtie man is a loving husband, dedicated father, the love interest. ( in media i say) now this alone staunchly tells us that the MEDIA does not shape everyone's mind, as people seem to assume. we see white men all day everyday on television, but many black women still prefer their black men. Many black men also staill prefer their black women. Can we at least agree on that. Black women are caught in an interesting paradox with white men in society, historically, what has he done to uplift us, to celebrate us, to help us out of our struggle, not much. Historically speaking, the relationship was one sided, with theem having most of the power and us having very little, down through the years yes, some black women/ white men fell in love, some cherished each other. This being said, its 2009, history of course still affects our daily lives, slavery still has its legacy in black communities and how we think of ourselves in relation with this country. Yet, why are we not able to say that all white people are not racists, nor hate blacks. The thing is, you don't know who to trust. I am not a victim, so i won't speak like one. I am a black woman who is diverse, who love sa plate of west african ( senegalese, malian) food more than soul food. You might catch me listening to Coldplay , Nina Simone, Nine Inch Nails or The Clash on any given day. I have had to explain that to alot of black people, who are so quick to define what is "black and not black", it seems what they really mean is, what is black is what is "limited" and "unintelligent". Stereotypically. I have options, i always have, i have seen some white meen that have made my heart skip a beat, some are very handsome, the cleverness, the conversation, Yes it is different. I have seen some fine Indian, Pakistani, Black ,Arabic etc. If i have ever gravitated toward a man, it wasn't because of no option, it was because i was compelled. Some sisters may feel that way about black men, black men only will do for them, that's them and that's fine, nothing wrong with that. but please don't assume desperation is the thing that drove a black woman to a white man. It's taboo to admit that there is just as much of a fascination/ attraction with white men, they are attractive, they are men, just like any other men, but yes, some black women find them attractive, and not out of desperation!

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  36.   justbehappy says:
    Posted: 16 Jul 09

    i think it's so sad how this topic even is an issue in today's generation. I personally blame society on this matter because for so long thay have portrayed being black as a negative thing and really its not. and its so stupid that the black race is falling into this crap ( black men and women not wanting to date their own kind). i think the problem is that alot of people see black as ugly (mainly black women) and alot of black people are falling for it.

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  37.   Member says:
    Posted: 15 Jul 09

    Dear London You make good points. From my observation I think things are changing. Sometimes black men with education tend to be more arrogant and aggressive. ( I have been told that for some reason). Even thugs are dating outside of their race. I live in PA and I was surprised to see that. I told my woman what is the world coming too. In general, black women overall don't want a soft man. I can't say nerdy black men can be associated as "soft". The age of man can make women look at you differently. I would factor in the age. I am 30 years old. In my early 20s, I was the "nice guy". You get older and you just don't put up with the "ankle" black women to much anymore. In my 20s, I use to put up with A LOT of shit. Even the chubby black girls back then thought they 'were fly". I don't know if it was the cinabun they were eating or what. Then you get older and your like "Man what the fuck was I thinking". Usually, these black women whine your never around when you are working or going to school. They are extremely needy. I tell them I will get you a little dog to play with. You too worried about what I am doing. Anyway, I have been away working on my new post for my blog. Everybody talks about the problem but never solutions to black women dating. I call it "Date a Black man working full time". It has been controversial. Some of the nappy headed black girls was like " what if she is a lawyer" and his a "security guard"? (making faces) These pathetic women can't see the forest from the trees. Again do you pay all the bills by YOURSELF? Even if he was a security guard, at least he bringing money in. I plan to fine tune it. I changed the layout of my blog. Made it more professional. I am tired of playing games with these nappy headed black women. Thank you http://mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/

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  38.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 15 Jul 09

    .....And why is it always with the nerdy guy whine..... Nerds RULE.....literally....lol. I have never counted a guy out because he was not "rough neck" enough or whatever....that is just ridiculous. And doesn't it all work out in the end anyway. I mean, chances are the women that REALLY want the thugish type were going to be more "drama" then they wanted to deal with anyway. So, in effect these women might have "helped" you expand your dating options....that in the end led you to be more content. I know I might be stretching it a bit there but that is me; lemonade from lemons...lol.

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  39.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 15 Jul 09

    I think you have got something there, Bougie....as to why Chris Rock felt the need to address this particular subject matter. Quite possibly his woman/slash wife has been vocal about "being open" to other "races" of men.....and this might have sent poor Chris' psyche into a tizzy.......and as we all know comedians get most (or at the very least, A LOT) of their material from life experience......Just a thought; just speaking on where CHRIS might have been coming from.....NOT ALL BLACK MEN (dang it.. I am disclaiming my posts now.......whooo wheee...lol) Peace and Blessings tatted2death

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  40.   Bougie says:
    Posted: 13 Jul 09

    I don't think he was on the money with that comment, alot of black men and other races think that all a black woman could ever fathom of wanting is a black man, but that's not the case. There are many many black women who do prefer BM but there are many who are attracted to other races of men as well, its not exactly ok to be vocal about being a BW who is interewsted in other races of men either so maybe that's why. Black men in general, cant fathom a BW wanting anything else, except out of desperation, im not sure what that says. I have never dated man out of desperation that's for sure, and i have been very attracted to men of other races, and they have been to me as well. If people only knew!

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  41.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 13 Jul 09

    My very first girlfriend and my ex (fiance) were both a lot darker than me.

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  42.   Peanut says:
    Posted: 13 Jul 09

    And btw meditate on the fact that bm in this country consistently "reject" darker sinned bw. They always have. So how is that any different from the bw you mentioned that are rejecting the "nerdy" bm?

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  43.   Peanut says:
    Posted: 13 Jul 09

    To Menelik Charles London England (Can’t you just go some place else and just be a hockey mom for the remainder of your life?) Let me get this straight, you are not even from this country and you're on this site trying to get heavy with me on this topic. Americans have a very different history with regard to race than Europe. That should be clear from the start. I have to run along now but I will deal with you later.

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  44.   malarki5 says:
    Posted: 12 Jul 09

    Mr Laurelton said: I would have to agree I don’t know why black men are more active in their biracial children lives more than their fully black children lives. I don’t think it is low self esteem. I think some black men grow up with overbearing black mothers. So when they get older “they want” to get away from that. Menelik replied: we may also add into the equation the nerdy-type Black men who Black women rejected - not least because of the lack of drama they offer, and who went on the have settled i.e. drama-free unions with white female partners. Menelik Charles London England

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  45.   Member says:
    Posted: 12 Jul 09

    Dear ICH I agree with you. I don't knock the black fraternities. I have many friends in them. But they are womanizers no question about it. Do they remain that way of course not. Just from observation it looks like black men take care of their biracial children. I know many black men that raise their children period. My cousin has a wife and two kids. So black men do raise their black children. My theory is black women overlook the college or nerdy type black men and white women date them. Then they got the nerve to get mad about it. I am aware some black women have said they have dated the nerdy type black men and came up with the same results. Again, just because you dated them out of being generous. Does not mean they don't harbor resentment towards you. It is tough it seems like they can't win either way. ICH FAMU and FSU campuses are notorious. They have black bike week down there I think. I love Florida because their are so many exotic women. At the same time some of they are loose. I don't even tell them my father got a big house in Orlando Florida. I usually stay there. They will latch onto you in a minute. PHD made some good points. He is just a hypocrite. You can't be lecturing to us and your friends are all Frats. Then say black men go to college for sex. If that is the case black women go their for sex too. The frats never had to work for pussy. I use to see women coming in and out of their dorms. Sometimes they had threesomes. I had a girlfriend at the time. One guy use to have his dorm next to my girlfriend's dorm. He use to "grill me" like he was in love with her or something. I am sure they had a "fling". He looked at me upset. I guess he thought because he was a "fly guy" he could take my woman. Most them them muscle heads and athletes anyway.

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  46.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 11 Jul 09

    Sir LQ, What's up? When this was said to me days ago I had a few questions about this observation. Are the black fathers that seem to be taking more of an interest in there bi-racial children's lives the decent, educated black men or the knucklehead black men? I think 1 control group of 100 men (if it's that imperative to do so) is not enough. Control groups consisting of different types of black men (since there are different types) should be examined as well. Many of these responsible black fathers may be just as responsible for their children if their spouses were black. If you see some knucklehead dude with a child, what does his woman look like? How many other kids does he have besides her's? And is the child you see him with even his? There are a lot more variables that go into research than what many have presented and try to pass off as fact. By the way, nice work with that PHDee chump. He called me out, too! I can't believe he, being a black man, thinks we're all the same... and pathetic excuses for men on top of that. I hung out on FAMU and FSU campuses for all of '98. My brother is a Kappa. I know about the K-Sweets. He must think we're stupid or something.

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  47.   Member says:
    Posted: 11 Jul 09

    Dear Peanut I live in Williamsport PA. Since I am in a mostly white town but the area I am in (is mainly black). I do see black men with their biracial children walking around. I was driving down the street with my fiancee and I was like look at these coco puff children. I would have to agree I don't know why black men are more active in their biracial children lives more than their fully black children lives. I don't think it is low self esteem. I think some black men grow up with overbearing black mothers. So when they get older "they want" to get away from that. I have had black men tell me that black women complain and nag to much. My mother was a nagger and complainer. My fiancee is similar to my mother. It is so spooky it is not even funny. They are both born on the same month December 13 and December 9. From my experience talking to white women. I hate to say it but white women go out their way to treat you good. Black women tend to be very cynical. Even if they meet a new black man to date they got their guards up all the time. Now it is different in my church because most of the black women are "middle class or upper class". They tend to be accepting of the man being the leader. I rarely see conflict in the relationships at my church. Maybe, it is church and I don't see it. For the record, my fiancee friend at church, an older black lady, she has a white husband and they have 4 kids together (young kids). When I first got to the church I didn't even know they were together. The lady is very outgoing and she don't goes on and on about her white husband. He is the deacon of the church so he is popular in this black church. Like I said, I can't lump all interracial relationships together. Then again if you went to a white church do you think an interracial relationship would be accepted in that church? Black people are always accepting, white people are not that much if you ask me.

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  48.   malarki5 says:
    Posted: 11 Jul 09

    Peanut said: just look at how many Bm are walking around with their kids ...THEN notice what color they are. 98 times out of a 100 those kids are bi-racial. From my pov that seems to indicate they don’t really want to be there for their kids if they are chocolate and more willing to if they are not. That indicates a self-esteem issue with black men. Menelik asks: are you still here, Peanut? I thought (hoped) you'd get a nice white boy, move to the burbs, have your own bi-racial kid, comb its wavy black hair, glory in its complexion, and leave Black men the-hell-alone! Can't you just go some place else and just be a hockey mom for the remainder of your life? Menelik Charles London England

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  49.   malarki5 says:
    Posted: 11 Jul 09

    MsZ17 said: The white media wants us to think no other men are attracted to black women but that is a BIG lie! Black women are desireable... Menelik asks: Just out of interest, can you tell me WHO controls and operates "the white media"? Who is that is spreading this notion that Black women are not attractive? White women? Menelik Charles London England

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  50.   Member says:
    Posted: 10 Jul 09

    Corrections: in second paragraph it should say White women after, "All he want to date is..."

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