Black women. Black men. Best frenemies.
I have to agree there is a large number of loving couples within the black community. That aside, we still have a crisis within black relationships. For eons on end, black women and black men have been at each others necks … still are. They experience this when trying to date, marry and even stay together and most of these attempts end in mutual misunderstandings and mutual blame.
Find your soulmate on InterracialDatingCentral
In the book What's Love Got to Do with It?: Understanding and Healing the Rift Between Black Men and Women 77.1% of black mothers tell their daughters negative tales about black men. And those who don’t get the dirt from mommy have on going ‘reality shows’ - their parents’ relationships. And this could be where the urge to strangle or b**ch about every black man that walks by starts.
But what is more surprising is that people feel interracial dating within the black community is what is causing more of this frenemity. Check out what one blogger asked: “When did splintering off to date outside the race, looking for a successful partner anywhere but within black America, and promoting the myth that black men are "players" and black women are "emasculating" become the norm?”
Splintering off? Is that what people call it when one opts for interracial dating? Let’s not even look that far … I have seen the fires members on this blog ignite just because of black-white dating. Makes me wonder if other communities have this love-hate relationship of their sexes.
So when did this frenemity between black men and women actually begin? How are we to explain these heightened levels of tension and conflict between them? What could be the root cause of this turbulence? Is interracial dating (black-white dating in particular) the main cause? Really?
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279 responses to "Black women. Black men. Best frenemies."
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Austrian says:Posted: 30 Aug 09Dearest 85kguy, I did have a 'wonderful' day in a small ancient town in Hungary. The only problem was, I once again saw some poor Gypsies, who are not wanted in this town, which did give this day a bitter taste. Gypsies are haunted in Romania, Hungary and especially Slovakia. A famous Hungarian, nominated for a Nobel Peace Price, made it very clear. Gypsies should not be forced into integration, rather they should be tolerated and respected for their values and a different life style, which they should be entitled to. I fully agree. Today I was told by a Hungarian, that his relatives in the country side are bothered by Gypsies, who come in the middle of the night, stealing their potatoes out of the soil. This shows how poor they actually are. Luckily people do not carry guns in this country, otherwise there would be terrible blood shed. I think it was necessary for the world crises to happen - maybe some people start being aware of the imbalance - at least for a few decades, as things will never change for the good forever. I apologize, for having a good life! 85kguy, I may get on your nerves for being so ignorant, I already got on some one else's nerves who sent me off to a nursing home. I understand your impatience with the UNFAIRNESS in this white world, but as I said before, your time will come. I apologize for having gotten off the SUBJECT ON THIS BLOG and repeat: You warm hearted, open minded Black women and men deserve to find a perfect match, regardless of color, to give you the happiness and satisfaction you deserve. Love and Peace!
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85kguy says:Posted: 30 Aug 09
IT IS A SHAME. However, I personally have not met any Black person who is reaching a higher social level, wanting to stay in such an area. Tatted!!! Ich!!! Aza!!! Queens!!! If I turn my back on S. Dallas I may get a higher social level!!! Tatted!!! I'm gonna just give out the olive branch now and take a break. Frisco,TX is far, far, far, far, N. Dallas and would be nice for your daughter World Citizen. You have a blessed and wonderful day.
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Austrian says:Posted: 30 Aug 09
85kguy, - Oh, and we do not like to eat in restaurants, as there are so very few reliably good ones. We prefer freshly cooked mediterranean style cuisine with the best ingredients we can find, prepared at home. When the weather gets a little chilly, we also prepare the best soul food - at home. We enjoy wine with our meals and it is also an advantage, not having to go home in a car, after a great dinner. Maybe you'll run across my lovely daughter - she can not be overlooked. She may invite you to an unforgettable dinner party with her multi-culty friends.
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Austrian says:Posted: 30 Aug 09
Dear 85kguy, you are correct again. She does live in a lovely northern Dallas community - temporarily - with friends, who are an educated, openhearted, well to do BW family, partly from Kentucky. They took us site seeing, while I was there, including the southern part of Dallas. We saw what we already knew from any other city in the U.S., except the ones which Blacks seem not allowed in. There are such in any part of the country. IT IS A SHAME. However, I personally have not met any Black person who is reaching a higher social level, wanting to stay in such an area. President Obama receives all my respect for not having turned his back on Blacks during any time of his life, especially when he was reaching a high social level. By the way, neither my children or I are German. But what would be wrong with that? She happened to live in Munich, perhaps the greatest place in Germany - endless recreational possibilities and beautiful nature. Germans can be wonderful people and the new generation does not take responsibility for what was done by Hitler, although they are aware, it must never be forgotten and repeated in history. There are so many other nations, who carry a similar burden, many even having killed their own people. Any continent you look at shows this aggression in the human race, including several countries in Black Africa. It is happening this very moment. Take Heidi Klum, a beautiful open minded German and Seal, a Black Brit, they make wonderful babies, have a great life and I am sure they are not at each other's throat about who did what to Blacks or Jews. To change the subject - The hilly landscape and many lakes, north of Dallas, were quite a surprise to us, and I repeat the many kind and friendly people of ANY SHADE. I wish you and all others a fresh start into lovely September.
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85kguy says:Posted: 29 Aug 09
Hello Godiva61, Without an understanding of your region by name I cannot really give the correct slant on portraying one US region experience to another US region too easily. **Answering you**: I have seen black with white Mississippi couples come here as well as others for jobs. Most are black women with white men. They are very young men and women. **Another story**: I had to take government college studies here in TX since I am from Virginia. A beautiful, tan, busty readhead girl named Kim was from Mississippi. She wanted to date me!! I studied and sat behind her in two classes. I was already living with a Dallas black girl who was 10 years younger than me. So I told her I couldn't date, aid I was spoken for. A few years later she saw me at the local mall. She ran up a hugged me. She was with her mother at the mall and I met her. She was from Mississippi!! True story that I swear on just as sure as I am probably darker than you (lol)! Hey Godiva61 Baby! Your writing style is "sweeter than a paycheck"!! LMAO, back to dating and chasing LMAO!!!
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85kguy says:Posted: 29 Aug 09
Hey World Citizen (From Germany), Quiz for you: Famous black restaurant in Dallas,TX ends in the word Brown. Has 3 words. What is the name of this famous Dallas black restaurant? What I am demonstrating: 1. How many times did you and your daughter visit what is Southside Dallas? 2. Does she live Southside? Work Southside? Does she have eyes and ears for southside? Friends in soutside dallas? Conclusion: Here in Dallas her success may rely on doing things Germans did to the Jews when they were being rounded up decades ago. Ignoring them and their plight. Don't answer, just process it! You saw far north dallas and the northern surrounding suburbs. That is it. Maybe some downtown tourism and thats it. Oh well, maybe next visit (lol).
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Austrian says:Posted: 29 Aug 09
Dear 85kguy, thank you for the many informative facts, which were necessary for me to get a bit more educated, regarding the Dallas situation. My daughter is a stubborn woman, who wants to find out what's happening on her own. I admire and respect her for doing so - she has always been that way and so far it worked for her. The question is - is it not an advantage to be ignorant to things which are ridiculous and may not affect you after all? I enjoy reading your comments and think, including the very sensitive and educational comments written by godiva61, this blog has risen to higher levels! Enjoy the last few Autumn days - best wishes!
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85kguy says:Posted: 29 Aug 09
Remember my final sentence: "It is also a patchwork. Some regions are more progressive and others more threatening." People from Mississippi, Oklahoma, Arkansas, and Louisiana come to Dallas and Houston, Texas. They come for jobs. It is not all, but there are large presences drawn the Houston, TX area and the Dallas, TX area as well. That is people of all races, creeds, and colors. Lots graduate from their area colleges and get recruited while others come for opportunities to work more blue collor non-degreed work. Dallas-Ft Worth is the 4 or 5th largest metro area in the country, such an area with opportunity is also a growth area over the last 20 years. Local blacks here traditionally are "South Side" and all development and opportunity is "North Side". The Univ of Texas at Dallas is not in Dallas, TX. It is in Richardson, TX. Far north (far opposite black area) side. Raytheon, Cisco, Ericsson, TX Instruments, and any other company of note is located Far, Far, Far, Far North Side. Leads to a great lack of exposure for young blacks to professional role models here. These would be indigenous Dallas blacks. Dallas, TX is just getting its first public law school inside the city limits. Yet, its tax base is the greatest economic power for hundreds of miles around. These things came as a result of American "White Flight" in Dallas. When blacks became more a part of equality in this region. The American banks constantly went under trying to finance the economic genocide of black communities like Dallas, TX southside by moving development away from the center where they could get access and exposure. over 600000 people now live far north side. A place where there were only trees and coyotes a few decades ago. When you look at Dallas, TX and see a map. You see a tangle of loops that come together. We call it the mix master. Thats where the local black business district used to be. On a positive note, I learned all this in school here in Dallas, TX. I am "90s" a migrant from the Hampton Roads area of Virginia. Maybe you all can understand that regions past control your future. Why some are opposed to dating and others are not. How they feel it is treason and others feel it is progress. I came to the website for the Africans. They are free of the past but not a betrayal to what happened to the local black side of Dallas, TX. Yes, World Citizen, your child/daughter in Dallas, TX will be ignorant to things i am afraid. Lets all get back to DATING. Lets have a party, not a funeral!!!
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godiva61 says:Posted: 29 Aug 0985kguy, Thank you for your insight and candid observation's. However, I do have one question for you, if the state of Mississippi black and white relationship's have changed, for the better, then why the need for the citizen's to "migrate" to Texas???? The relationship's may have improved somewhat over the year's, but obviously not enough... My grandmother, who by the way lived to be 105yrs old, was alway's asked by many, "why do you go out your way to be so nice to people"? Her answer would alway's be, "I've already had a taste of the heat and evil of hell, I lived in Mississippi and I don't want to spend an eternity in another Mississippi"!!!!!!!! From 1870-1970 some 900 African Americans were lynched and murdered in good ole Mississippi, including Emmett Till, Rev. George Washington Lee and Medgar Evers. That's almost 100 familes, and future generations, per year, for a hundred years. Cleve McDowell was the first black to enter Ole Miss, school of Law in 1963, unfortunately for him he had to "migrate" to Texas to finish Law School. Eventually he was murdered in 1997 because he "migrated" back to Mississippi to be a part of a group of black leader's who were organizing and pressuring the District Attorney's Office to reopen cases that were never prosecuted, cases in which blacks were killed for doing civil right's work.. In 2007 Charleston Mississippi had it's first ever integrated Prom for the High School Students, this only happened because Morgan Freeman, the actor, intervened and paid for the entire prom. Even still, there was such an opposition from white parent's that they held a seperate prom for white student's only, this was just 2yrs ago.. Last but not least, I feel I should explain why I alway's remember Emmett Till... His story has alway's fascinated me and haunted me as well... I was not alive when he was murdered but it was one of the first stories that I ever heard about and I have been somewhat obssessed with it ever since. Also when I hear and read the comment's that are sometime's posted here on this site that are inflammatory, offensive to black men, I see it as a slap in the face and another injustice to Emmett Till and for all the black men who were lynched and murdered, and of course all black men in general... When I hear the remark's that are in the same tone toward black women on this site, I automatically think of Mamie Till, Emmett's mom, my mom, my grandmother and all the black women that preceded us and who paid with their lives... What's really disturbing to me is the one's who have this type of mentality and irresponsible vocabulary, TOO many of them do not know that Emmett Till even existed!! And if you think about it, Emmett's life, his early death, his destiny, is why you(men) are priviledged enough to date/ marry a white woman and not be physically murdered for your choice.. One of the many reasons given for Emmett's untimely demise, was supposedly because he "whistled" and/or "looked" this white woman straight in the eye, and for that his life was cut short.... love godiva
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85kguy says:Posted: 29 Aug 09
I could go to Romania and not experience prejudice. However, the indigenous Romana/Gypsie peoples experience it every day. Gypsies were euro slaves in their ancestry. Madonna spoke out on their behalf and was booed by most in the crowd at a concert with 60000 Romanians. Being from "somewhere else" helps, especially when you are young and providing companionship (and sex) to the community pool. Economic control and impact are different. On jobs and in politics. Large pools of hispanics/mexicans provide a scare as do large pools of blacks here. Asians own their own shops a lot of times as do peoples from India and Pakistan. Anyone who does not must assimilate. Large pools tend to have their own culture and marry their own more often. We are fragmented. That is why even Obama is having trouble getting acceptance for Universal Healthcare. Something that people who act like one people in other countries already have. Police deaths always seem to involve blacks. These black women who are educated are assimilating. Some are very young and predominately the attractive and educated among black women. They can provide some beauty to the assimilation. Communities run by black men are poor communities. Locked out for decades by white banks. The black business districts were chosen for destruction when our current highway system was built over 50 years ago. It left a lot of black communities devastated and without their economic base. Now a lot of blacks must scurry to assimilate. They move farther and farther from a black community concentration. Lots are too young to know the past. All they know is assimilation. Bi-Racial children carry characteristics that have made them attractive. Especially if they look attractive. One of the most attractive slave women was named Sally Hemmings. She was the slave of Thomas Jefferson (and his concubine)in the 18th century. He was a wealthy slaveowner who became our second president. In a way she assimilated. Yet slavery was all around and did not impact her in her day for the most part. With the economic control so low for blacks and bi-racials in the industrialized world I am afraid that your children may just feel that prejudice one day. Let's hope not. I know it all too well. All you have to do is align yourself with the local indigenous black community and it will greet you every day. Ask some of the whites here who love local blacks. They experience looks, stares, and even comments that are very disturbing for them. It is also a patchwork. Some regions are more progressive and others more threatening.
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Austrian says:Posted: 29 Aug 09
Dear 85kguy, your observation is correct. My beautiful bi-cultural, 'bi-racial' daughter moved to Dallas from Munich, Germany, recently. All her mails describe a good number of BW couples and very, very polite and kind Texans of any shade. Which I also experienced during my vacation there. My children did not grow up, surrounded by prejudice. My son in Miami Beach told me, neither he is aware of prejudice. He thinks, perhaps he and his sister do not recognize it, because they do not know how to look for it. Is this IGNORANCE - or a great advantage, not to carry this load on their shoulders? We think it is the latter, and it proves how much impact the past has on all of us! As a result, they are open to any form of intercultural relationship, as long as their values are met.
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85kguy says:Posted: 29 Aug 09
Nowadays Mississippi relationships are different. They migrate to Texas cities all the time and there are a lot of interracial couples of both types between black and white.
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godiva61 says:Posted: 29 Aug 09
Correction, Emmett Till was murdered on this day, my apology... Emmett Louis "Bobo" Till, July 25, 1941- August 28,1955 love godiva
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godiva61 says:Posted: 29 Aug 09
Today has been a very long and overly emotional day for me, but I'm still blessed to be here... I couldn't let this day go by without "HONORING" a very special young man, he is no longer with us and had he been allowed to live to see this day, and be treated with dignity and respect, he would have been celebrating his 68th birthday... Rest In Peace, Emmett Till, you paid the ultimate price, and your mother went to her grave, never to have justice served to those who took your life at the tender age of 14 yrs old.. love godiva
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Member says:Posted: 25 Aug 09
Dear ezrhino2001 Your right man. Many black women think all they have to bring is their "vagina" to the relationship and everything is ok. Some with rather large vaginas ( I won't name names). Black women never come out and say "pay my bills". It is a long elaborate story about how "hard up" they are. That is why so many men spank their loose booty and leave them. You never approach a man from a position of weakness. The sharks will come out. Actually many black women do it to themselves. They preach about being "independent" and " I am strong black woman". Then you see them "riding the bus" with a frown of their face. I just drive by and wave at them. Even worse the black women that got a man and sleeping "with other men". Yea they got a good man at home and got their legs up in the air for thugs and low budget unsigned rappers. Man if they come on this board saying I am lying. They ass sleeping with one of them right now! Oh another thing, black women saying they don't mess with men in their "town" or "state". Man, black men got "radar". We know a slut when we see one. You cannot hide. I don't care if you went to Alaska. I am gone.
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Member says:Posted: 25 Aug 09
“Do not make a good man pay for your past bad relationships ….” More like don't make a good man end up with Renee. Any woman that gets divorced after 20 years should voluntarily take herself off the market and go to choir practice or play bingo. Good day to everyone.
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malarki5 says:Posted: 24 Aug 09
@ezrhino, Bro you sum up many of our predicaments without malice. Well done! That was one hell of an achievement! Some sistas' are terrified of criticism lest it lead to deeper issues relating to themselves. I trust whoever reads your comments is able to sense no malice towards the sistas (or those who could be) was intended. Menelik Charles London England
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tatted2death says:Posted: 24 Aug 09"Do not make a good man pay for your past bad relationships ...." You make all the sense in the world, ezrhino....so let's just broaden your statement a bit by repalcing "man" with "person" and I think we will have cover all the bases. Peace and Blessings tatted2death
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ezrhino2001 says:Posted: 09 Aug 09Here's is really were the divide happens , In many cases in the past years I here this from all my blk male friends barely a month with many mind u, not all within a relationship some blk women will ask a man to pay a bill its never a small bill and its understood that he is expected to pay that bill from that point on. It like if you care for me you will do this. Lets make this clear brother is single and has the same basic bills as well. He does not have a magic money tree out back to pay an additional unplanned bill monthly in addition to paying for all the dating activites. In most cases most white females reading this have no idea what i,am talking about here.They will bring their men lunch with out him asking and even an occasional surprise present or too. When you treat real men well the payback from us is automatic but if you make us feel like we are just a additional income , is where the problems are this in not all cases but in many is the biggest difference between black and white. THE PERSONAL FAMILY DRAMA, the ex boyfriend payback or hanging around drama , the dogs in house drama and letting an animal= them damn dogs in the house decide if your man is keeper or not is just plain not appreciated and not very intelligent. If your man is in the house put them damn dogs outside ! Your girlfriends are jealous of you and your new man especially if they do not have one of their own and never ask a man why another man did something ! Because in most cases we have no idea why we did something , and your gay male friend is just jealous and hating too hell he probably wants your man too so just like your girlfriends his advice is messed up as well. ! and he knows nothing about us straight men at all,and if baby daddy is not paying support or in his child's life on a regular=weekly you need to move him out of the way too.He deliberately runs other men off while he is laying up elsewhere ! It does not matter if you like it or not but i just told you whats wrong with most black on black relationships . Do not make a good man pay for your past bad relationships or break his savings account to please you.
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urlover6 says:Posted: 02 Aug 09
I don't hate Black Men, but they have wronged me one too many times. I love my brother, father, and relatives, and that's about it. I find it hard to love Black Men or even becoming friends with one. It's like the ones around me are all the same, and act immaturely. I mean, I'm very young and so are all the guys around me, but White Guys at least act maturely and a lot of them are smart and goal oriented . I think it has to do more about lifestyle and culture than race. I'm attracted to the lifestyle of most White Men. While the fake acts for a lot of young Black Men turns me off.
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85kguy says:Posted: 02 Aug 09
My Friends, A. From being oppressed to being a success. African American women had to work at a much earlier point in our African American timeline history than other women did in theirs. B. Our timeline history is not as long in years as the timeline history of other cultures. Our culture is less than 400 years old. C. Working for and equal to a man as slaves. After slavery as sharecroppers, nannies, cooks, maids, laundry women. They have always had an economic equality with their male counterparts. Sometimes they were the sole economic breadwinners in the family due to prejudice and discrimination. D. Other cultures are thousands of years old. Womens rights are just a drop in the bucket on the timeline of their culture. Not to pick on them, but the Asian culture had been around a long time. Women in Asia may have not even earned money for 200 years there of their multi-millenium culture. This can make them more "feminine" and needy. E. African American influence and example made things better for Black people around the world. Progress in Black America meant change for the better in other areas of the world through inspiration or influence. Conclusion: Respect African American women. They are the reason we survived as a people during the hardest of our cultural times. That survival lead to a brighter day for Blacks of other cultures and locales worldwide. Menelik my Brother: Imagine if you were to tell an African American woman that you understand this truth. You are a man from another black culture that benefited at least somewhat indirectly from their struggle. Imagine how much brighter their response would be to you. African American Woman: You have a heritage of working equality of sorts for a larger timeline percentage of your cultural existence than any other women in the world have in theirs. This is what helps makes you "sexy" to some and I am afraid to say unfairly "unappealing" to others outside your African American culture. Know that your ancestry and present day contribution has benefited all black people worldwide either directly or indirectly. If they get on your nerves, remind those black men from other cultures of this in as "feminine" a way as you can.
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malarki5 says:Posted: 02 Aug 09
@ Whoever, First, I do not have a blog. Second, I do not advocate black men leave Black women to date inter-racially. Third, telling a truth is NOT bashing. Fourth, I am not on here seeking to date anyone. Fifth, I do NOT date outside of my race...ever! Menelik Charles London England
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malarki5 says:Posted: 02 Aug 09
Hi 85 Guy, no, I am not Ethiopian. My parents aire from Trinidad but I was born in London. My granmother gave me the name Menelik at birth. He was the son of King Soloman and the Queen of Sheba (Ethiopia) and their great love is mentioned in the Old Testement. This is where my gran got the name from. Btw their are many Ethiopians in London, and there is even a place to eat called Menelik. I eat their often and I am treated like a local celebrity lol Regards Menelik Charles London England
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85kguy says:Posted: 01 Aug 09
Menelik, Menelik is the name of a famous legacy of Ethiopian Emperors. Do you speak Amharic? You can learn it online nowadays. I can't understand the alphabet though. Cant translate to our 26 letter alphabet. A lot of large Ethiopian communities in America nowadays. Lots of Orthodox Ethiopian Churches too. I love Enjera and doro wat! Their Greens are just like our African American Soul Food Greens! I am not an intellectual. Dude, they are everywhere here in Texas, Minnesota, and Washington DC. Ichibod, Great discussion on Virginia and George Lynch. You should visit Williamsburg, VA one day. An entire city of actors portraying life when half the city population was black slaves (black slave actors and all). Nigerian rice is the bomb! It will make your eyes water. Africans communities here demonstrate a solid black male/female family structure. Generations of young people in America follow change course in their trends from the last generation. Who knows.... Africanization may take hold here and this generation will be the old-timers who follow whites.
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Aaziah says:Posted: 31 Jul 09
In response to you Menelik, I will only repeat what Julius stated above your blog. "Thanks shotgun007 for stating that white women rip into white men and iam sure that some white men has misgivings about white woman.But do they state them publicly on blogs, how silly they would look. I always say quality is in the person not in the race,I hate reading blogs that slag of black and reccomend white people. Yes black men and woman have the right to broaden their scope when its comes to looking for love, because iam considering it myself, but if i do go with another nationality iam not putting up a blog saying ” yeah leave black woman date white women they treat you better”. When black people do this we're the ones that end up being the biggest losers... " Have a good weekend Menelik Charles and Julius. Love to the both of you. Aaziah www.PrettyOnPurpose.Ning.com
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Malarki5 says:Posted: 31 Jul 09
Timbo said: what really makes black women so frustrating is that they are so sexy. So you can’t just write them off and ignore them for being a bunch of knuckleheads. Menelik says: and sexuality is where Black women's power truly lies! Look at the sista on I Love New York and confirm for yourself what Timbo is saying! Problem for many Black women is they don't have the FEMININITY to back up those astonishing curves and cat sensuality. Flat-assed Asian ladies do and so if they choose to move over to Black men will have no trouble finding men desperate to interact with genuinely feminine females. Menelik Charles London England
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julius26 says:Posted: 31 Jul 09Just read your comments islandsun and your right many races are now dating outside there race.And your right white men and white woman dont bash one another for doing it so we should not either. There are people who are putting out blogs to divide black men and woman and that is their real aim. Thanks shotgun007 for stating that white women rip into white men and iam sure that some white men has misgivings about white woman.But do they state them publicly on blogs, how silly they would look. I always say quality is in the person not in the race,i hate reading blogs that slag of black and recomend white people. Yes black men and woman have the right to broaden their scope when its comes to looking for love, because iam considering it myself, but if i do go with another nationality iam not putting up a blog saying " yeah leave black woman date white women they treat you better". When black people do this where the ones that end up being the biggest losers, but some black people dont see this. Respect between men and woman Julius
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Ichibod says:Posted: 31 Jul 09I'm not aware of any myths, but I understand, dude. I don't know many Filipinas that personally do not like black guys here in Jacksonville, Florida, but you don't see many romantic relationships between them. Only platonic ones, friends of friends and such. However, not many asians women interested in black men come up in the searches on this site. Maybe they're just not members. Who knows? Now as for the old Filipinos, there are some that seem to not trust us very much. I was making a delivery to a house in my company van and uniform. An old asian lady was sitting on the porch, and as I got out of the van and started walking toward the house with my customer friendly smile and package in hand, she quickly ran inside with the most frightended look in her eyes as she closed the door behind her. Her daughter opended the door immediately with a big smile and spoke to me in a manner as to let her mother know not to be so paranoid. It was quite funny to me. Half of my friends in high school were Filipino or of other asian backgrounds. I was very cool with their parents so I know all of your elders are not like that. Take care, bro!
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Filipino says:Posted: 30 Jul 09
Hey black dudes I just want to dispel any myths about Filipinas being racist to black guys. Sure some of them are racist and don't like black men but I know many Filipinas in my country who are not like that.
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Shotgun007 says:Posted: 29 Jul 09
To: Timbo649, Going off the subject entirely. If your perception of disgustingly "unhealthy" blog exchanges between black women and black men would result in your analysis that we (bm/bw) are "knuckleheads", you may be taking these blogs to literally. “Sexiness” at some point becomes superficial as men and women age, physical appearances change, so you should look for substance in a mate. Fact!. Get to know the genuine spirit of that person instead of drawing a complete/final opinion about a given race of women based on argumentative senseless blog debates, as opposed to "constructive dialogue" between adults. Finding a mate takes time and it is very unfortunate that we live in a world filled with stereotypes across all racial lines, including "Intra-Racial" from within. These same stereotypes continue to demolish relationships between races. I won’t even get into the negative remarks that my white female friends tell me about white men because you would be very disgusted and potentially infuriated to know how “SOME” white women rip’ on white men as well. Good Luck to you!! Shotgun007
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Aaziah says:Posted: 26 Jul 09
Dear Mr. Laurelton Queens- I understand more of what you meant, thank you. I also agree, men should take their place as heads of households without folding. I am single and will be until I meet a man as you've described. I know my role and I want a black man that knows his role. I dont want to tell him what it is either. I want and will only submit to THAT man, who has submitted to God first. I agree that women have made bad choices. So, have I. I've been careful with whom I lay, mother of only one child but always wished for more. I enjoy my grands now, with the feeling that my daughter had the sons I've always wanted! Thanks for your prompt reply and, Have a good night, Mr Laurelton Queens Aaziah
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Member says:Posted: 26 Jul 09
Dear Aaziah I guess I can try to see other people in layers. The daily barrage of attacks on black people is disturbing to the psyche. I was watching CNN To be "Negro in America" part 2. Pretty much the same old rubbish. Black women make bad decisions. Young black men doing some stupid shit. Hey I have done stupid shit before. I must admit in my youth. Nothing like a damn home invasion and stealing a white man's car! Soledud interview this guy and he had me believe that he was going to do the right thing as a black man. He basically folded under the pressure. Then they broadcast this shit. Some black women need to be ruled with an iron fist because of their inability to find the right guy to have a child with. I put that pressure on myself not because I believe women are inferior. I do it because a man must accept his leadership role in a relationship. That is just my opinion.
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Aaziah says:Posted: 26 Jul 09
If you can be both a jerk and a good jerk, why can't you see others as you see yourself?! In Layers. None of us is all bad or all good, sweetheart! One thing cannot be said about ALL black men, nor can one thing be said to describe all of us! All black women cannot be rulled with an iron fist. Some of us need to be "motivated"! Stroked and made to feel that you want what is best for her as you want what is best for yourself, baby! Thats all. We're not too much different from you. Our Black men! We're both strong and weak in simular places just as you all are, our counterparts! Just a thought.... btw- love,Love, LOVE men from the east coast! ("... to da east my brother, to the east!) Aaziah
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Member says:Posted: 15 Jul 09
Dear Pineapple lol God can be real funny. If I did have a daughter I would be happy. I would teach her how to be a real woman. None of this I can do 'stuff on my own". She would know how to cook, clean and get an education. Oh yea and go to church too. I was born in the church that is a must. I will give you a quick story. Many years ago I was in highschool in New York. It was an all black high school. A couple hispanic girls came in. They were all freshman. I was a bit old to be in highschool for my final year lol. Anyway, me and my friends were posted up. So this little hispanic girl comes over to my friend and says "Oh I heard you was the most popular guy in school". My homeboy had all these nappy headed black woman after him cause he had hazel eyes. Long story short, this little hispanic girl in a couple months had all these guys after her. So the black girls are like "what the fuck". She wasn't a ho at all. She just had that personality. Some of these black women they to conceded and got bad attitudes and it is catching up to them. Now when a man say something to them. They jump and look "desperate". See, they don't like me because I tell the truth. I don't tell you just what you want to hear. Timbo if I was to give you advice concerning black women. You have to rule them with an iron fist. At the same time you have to be a hard working individual. My woman say I am ignorant and a cave man. I tell her you can always be with a man that "talk about what he is going to do" then with me that ACTUALLY gets it done. She still says I am a jerk. See I am a "good" jerk though.
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ddsharper says:Posted: 15 Jul 09
Ichibod: Were you telling me to stop spamming with respect to the words of Marcus Garvey, words that very much fit into this discussion? If you directed your comment to me I am saying that this is not spam but on topic and relevant.
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876pineapple says:Posted: 15 Jul 09Mr Laurelton Queens, lets hope you weren't born to a black woman, & lets prey that God Wouldn't bless you with a daughter.
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Ichibod says:Posted: 05 Jul 09
That's funny, Timbo. And good to see you again, by the way.
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Timbo649 says:Posted: 05 Jul 09Well I can see why they would be at each other's throats. Many black dudes and black women are knuckleheads. And dealing with knuckleheads can be frustrating. But what really makes black women so frustrating is that they are so sexy. So you can't just write them off and ignore them for being a bunch of knuckleheads.
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Aaziah says:Posted: 30 Jun 09
Hey Godiva and company, Look what I've found! Interesting... The Limit of the Universe We are closest when we are apart. Each takes tiny steps back when We are finally together again, Forced away by the Thoughts of closeness risen from solitude. Lonely alone Lonely together This is not what I had in mind. Where fear is the driving force Fear must be of each other too, A wedge forever standing Until we need not be afraid Which in this stifling, frowning Disallowing world Must never happen. Copyright © 1995 by Katherine Foreman. http://www.hyperborea.org/alenxa/free.html
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Aaziah says:Posted: 30 Jun 09
Thank you Godiva. I am, like many, a work in progress. I appreciate your wisdom, balance and mediation skills, as well! I would love to share my Skype number with you as well as email address! It is (646) 401-0041 {www.Skype.com} My email is my handle at msn dot com. Lets stay connected, k?! I'd like to stay in touch with those of whom I am sure to benefit from knowing, whatsoever the length of our season. Bless You, Godiva Aaziah
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godiva61 says:Posted: 27 Jun 09
To: Ms. Aaziah, Blessed is the woman and man who strives for peace. I appreciate, and admire your apology to Ichibod. When we have done our best, we should wait the result in PEACE.. Thanks also for the reminder, that beauty came come from the ashes.. love godiva
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Aaziah says:Posted: 26 Jun 09
RE: Comment by Ichibod on 19 June 2009: Nice post Fun_One I appreciate your apology and I also apologize for my referring to your mother in any way, even if it was to include her in a group that I thought you were bashing. I apologize for all my digs, as well Ichibod. I tried to use humor, but it didn't continue to work for me. (Even though I laughed as I typed) It's just that- I care so much for the state of US, that-not only did I stray from being the non-judgmental person that I like to continue working towards, but I also just plain ol' got upset with you & felt the need to respond! But, like they say, you can only get upset with someone you care about! I'm done with trying to save the world all at once. Im gonna stick with the person in the mirror and fight fear with love and acceptance. I'm also sorry for "drag" comments, (but come on now- you left that door wide open) Seriously, I apologize for all the above AND anything else that may have offended you, that I may have failed to mention. Smoochez and all that mushy stuff, too, Ichibod! Let's cyber-hug! Aaziah
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LeadFoot1997 says:Posted: 24 Jun 09uh hi, i guess, my family pretty much tryed to rase me to become races when i was little, even when i was litte i just couldn't care if one was black or white, couse it just didn't matter to me at all couse where al just human anyway, so it don't matter as long you have love or just pure likeness for one, it matters not who you you fall in love with or like.....
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ddsharper says:Posted: 23 Jun 09
Because of that we have developed few men who are able to understand the strenuousness of the age in which we live. Where can we find in this race of ours real men. Men of character, men of purpose, men of confidence, men of faith, men who really know themselves? I have come across so many weaklings who profess to be leaders, and in the test I have found them but the slaves of a nobler class. They perform the will of their masters without question. To me, a man has no master but God. Man in his authority is a sovereign lord. As for the individual man, so of the individual race. This feeling makes man so courageous, so bold, as to make it impossible for his brother to intrude upon his rights. So few of us can understand what it takes to make a man - the man who will never say die; the man who will never give up; the man who will never depend upon others to do for him what he ought to do for himself; the man who will not blame God, who will not blame Nature, who will not blame Fate for his condition; but the man who will go out and make conditions to suit himself. Oh, how disgusting life becomes when on every hand you hear people (who bear your image, who bear your resemblance) telling you that they cannot make it, that Fate is against them, that they cannot get a chance. If 400,000,000 Negroes can only get to know thesmelves, to know that in them is a sovereign power, is an authority that is absolute, then in the next twenty-four hours we would have a new race, we would have a nation, an empire, - resurrected, not from the will of others to see us rise, - but from our own determination to rise, irrespective of what the world thinks. Marcus Garvey
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ddsharper says:Posted: 23 Jun 09
We feel that there is absolutely no reason why there should be any differences between the black and white races, if each stop to adjust and steady itself. We believe in the purity of both races. We do not believe the black man should be encouraged in the idea that his highest purpose in life is to marry a white woman, but we do believe that the white man should be taught to respect the black woman in the same way as he wants the black man to respect the white woman. It is a vicious and dangerous doctrine of social equality to urge, as certain colored leaders do, that black and white should get together, for that would destroy the racial purity of both. Marcus Garvey Papers.
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ddsharper says:Posted: 23 Jun 09
The first year of our activities for the Black Star Line added prestige to the Universal Negro Improvement Association. Several hundred thousand dollars worth of shares were sold. Our first ship, the steamship Yarmouth, had made two^8 voyages to the West Indies and Central America. The white press had flashed the news all over the world. I, a young negro, as President of the corporation, had become famous. My name was discussed on five continents. The Universal Negro Improvement Association gained millions of followers all over the world. By August, 1920, over 4,000,000 persons had joined the movement. A convention of all the negro peoples of the world was called to meet in New York that month. Delegates came from all parts of the known world. Over 25,000 persons packed the Madison Square Garden on Aug. 1 to hear me speak to the first International Convention of Negroes. It was a record-breaking meeting, the first and the biggest of its kind. The name of Garvey had become known as a leader of his race. From the Marcus Garvey Papers. Where are all the real brothers at? http://www.international.ucla.edu/africa/mgpp/sample01.asp
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Ichibod says:Posted: 23 Jun 09
I was calling you retarded but much like the topic, you totally missed the point. Goodbye!
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Islandsun84 says:Posted: 23 Jun 09
Ichibod, It’s obvious individual’s calling you “retarded” as a child has had a real negative affect on you as an adult. Please don’t consider my post to be an attempt to be angry. Like I said, this article brought individuals together on this site that obviously have nothing in common, so anger in my opinion is not justified. This isn’t an attack on me. I’m not really going to dwell on the subject with you because I’d be here for days and that’s definitely not why I joined this site. You’re right, you have been here since the beginning, so I’m guessing that makes you right…? There’s obviously no reason to beat a dead horse, but I did enjoy the feedback. Good luck to you~
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