Are black women the only opponents of interracial relationships?

Posted by James, 10 Nov

opposition to interracial marriageWarning: This article may be offensive to some readers. This is not the objective. The article is in no way meant to defame or inflame any parties, groups or persons.

"Some black guys are going to date white girls. Attempting to beat up the white girls will not turn that tide. …You’d be better off learning to love yourself than becoming mired in bitterness and hate over that thing that’s not really about you." From the post Sometimes the White Girl (Or Guy) Isn’t about You (Unconventional Wisdom) by The Black Snob

Just like the above excerpt suggests, there is this popular belief that black women see interracial relationships as a personal insult to them. This issue has been raised over and over again. And after reading many articles that support that belief, I can’t help but wonder why people portray black women to be the only ones who react disapprovingly to interracial relationships.

Find your soulmate on InterracialDatingCentral

A former girlfriend of mine (black) once told me she felt that some of my white female friends and Asian women weren’t jazzed at all about our relationship. And when I asked her if they openly told her so, she told me they didn't have to shout about their disapproval; their body language (yeah you know those stares accompanied by sneers, the sizing-up up and down look) said it all. Well, to tell you the truth, I later noticed that they were a hell lot nicer to her when she was just friend than when we started dating.

I believe she is not only black woman who gets this general bitchiness because of her involvement with a non-black man? Here is how one woman describes this whole resentment to black white relationships:

"…the reasons a black woman might object to an interracial relationship are wholly different from the reasons a white woman might. Black women worry how the black community will be affected overall if, say, the most successful black men find themselves with white women again and again. They worry about the effect interracial relationships have on low marriage rates in the black community. In contrast, when I encounter white women who cop an attitude upon discovering that my boyfriend and I are an item, their hostility comes from a very different place—a place of superiority.

It’s as if they are asking themselves, “Why on earth would he be with a black girl when I’m here?""

Well, I have been asked a similar question by a white woman who wanted a relationship with me. I took it lightly coz I figured it was just the normal kind of jealousy anyone would feel if the object of their desire fell in love with another. So I gotta ask: Do white women feel this way when they see a non-white woman with an eligible white man?

If so, why then should black women continue to bear the responsibility for the hostility that black white couples face when we know very well that some black men, white women and Asian women (as I have heard) - are also opposed to such unions? Are black women the only foes of interracial relationships? Has anyone experienced this kind of 'hostility' from white men?

187 responses to "Are black women the only opponents of interracial relationships?"

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  1.   Azrazyel says:
    Posted: 28 Nov 09

    Oh and one more thing. Why are certain black women here bitching and complaining that white...excuse me...ALL white men are evil and racist? What is the purpose of being on an interracial dating site. You hate white men, you complain they won't date you...then you complain and waste your energy of all the derogatory names they call you. What is it your looking for. If you already know white men hate you and don't want you, why are you still complaining??? Quit wasting your energy on white men and find someone else. There is no point....like beating a dead horse.

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  2.   Azrazyel says:
    Posted: 28 Nov 09

    By the way, nice to see everyone once again! (:

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  3.   Azrazyel says:
    Posted: 28 Nov 09

    Bah Humbug! I am letting you all know to disregard erzulieredeyes. She is racist and spreads propaganda against whites. Check her out a abagond.wordpress.com This is a fair warning.

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  4.   Ichibod says:
    Posted: 28 Nov 09

    Happy after-Thankgiving everyone! I just got my internet back, figured I'd stop by to say hello to Sister Godiva, Mother Citizen, Mr LQ, Natalie (B.E.), Tatts, and Fkoi. This thread showed up in my e-mail and didn't subscribe to it. Never knew it existed until today. Maybe it was awarding4u's post I was supposed to see? I don't know, but that's the only one that showed up. Fkoi, there was absoultely nothing wrong with your first comment. It was on point like all the rest of your comments.

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  5. Posted: 27 Nov 09

    hope everyone had a nice holiday.... even L. (for "loose booty lover"...LOL) Queens...... ...AND to ms.Erzulie.....you really ought to think twice before questioning my education level. I have studied much about many different "religions"....but thanks for the breakdown of you screenname...that is actually pretty cool. IT matters not your gender or faith or ANYTHTING else for that matter. My statement basically was a way of acknowledging the STRONG SIMILARITIES in both of your approaches, writing styles, etc. And if you are into voodoo (which I ALREADY detected from the name...lol) and just happen to be from the Carribean, there's a bit of irony there as well. ...ANYWAY.....no, ms. godiva.......no sparring going on....JUST "SAME SSSSSHHHH, DIFFERENT DAY" for some that are stuck on the short bus that "day" can be AWFULLY LONG......LOL.

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  6. Posted: 26 Nov 09

    "Are black women the only opponents of interracial relationships?" Really stupid question. Why did you guys answer this stupidity?

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  7.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 25 Nov 09

    Wishing everyone here a very peaceful, safe and wonderful Thanksgiving. There is so much to be thankful and grateful for. We should never take life and the good times for granted. Enjoy and hold your loved ones a little closer!!! Special blessings to my brothers and sisters who are so far away from home, serving and proudly wearing the Uniform.. United States Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force and Coast Guard, I salute you!! Special Salute to Ft. Hood Texas!!! Love godiva

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  8.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 25 Nov 09

    world citizen, It is so good to hear from you and I am happy that your mom is doing well. I have been praying for you both. Enjoy your Thanksgiving and know that you are loved! Love godiva

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  9.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 25 Nov 09

    bigeyes31, Hi Ms. Natalie... I love you too!!!! I'm doing fine, no complaint's, compared to a lot of people, especially this time of year, I am blessed!! I am working on tomorrow but it's okay because it's day shift and triple time pay(lol), more importantly I'm off Friday, the day after the Holiday, which as you well know is often worse than working the actual holiday. Enjoy your Thanksgiving and thank you for being a blessing in my life this year. Looking forward to an even better year in 2010. Love godiva

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  10.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 25 Nov 09

    Hello to all my FAVORITE PEOPLE....miss godiva...I love you and I hope you are doing well...please tell me you don't have to work for thanksgiving..LOL happy thanksgiving to ya! World Citizen I'm glad your mother is doing great and what a place to heal...baltic sea...ooh just SOUNDS BEAUTIFUL...LOL. Scoff/Sarah happy thanksgiving. I would LOVE to see a picture of you two...LOL. Last but not least Mr. L. boogie..LOL Mr. Queens...happy thanksgiving to you and everyone on this blog. Peace

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  11.   Member says:
    Posted: 25 Nov 09

    Dearest Godiva61 (you sound wonderful as ever - I hope you feel fine) and the rest of you interesting people! Sorry for not staying on the subject, I just want you to know that I am actually still around - that is in South-Eastern Europe. I was extremely occupied for the last few months and living in an area without internet!!! You may think this is impossible, but it shows that the Old World has a lot of catching up to do in this respect. My 94 year old 'teenage' mother had her hip operation 4 weeks ago and is kicking and flirting again - already without crutches! I spent 2 weeks with her during the physical therapy phase on the Baltic Sea - with wireless Internet, but did not have any spare time to connect. The beginning of next year I am planning on visiting the States again. Meanwhile have a delicious Thanksgiving and cozy Holiday Season. Love and hugs!

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  12.   Scoff/Sarah says:
    Posted: 25 Nov 09

    Just a minute to drop a few hello's to our group, you folks never fail to amaze me with your insight & wisdom for a younger generation. Godiva we still have your e-mail and one day soon we will surprise you, Mr. Queens getting out their with a positive attitude, go for it, the world is yours. My special lady is off with her family the rest of the week, so I'm catching up on my family visit as well. Coming soon we hope a picture of us, only if you'all promise not to laugh. We love all of you. Scoff

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  13.   Member says:
    Posted: 24 Nov 09

    Dear Scoff and Sara Yea, this blaming white people mentality gets you "nowhere in life". I can't recall any white person blocking my endeavors. Perhaps in the 80s it was real bad. I am an 80's baby. In 2009, if you were to say racism is as bad as it was back then. You would be lying to yourself. Like I said, I work mainly at an all white elementary school in a small town. I am just surprised how shit gets down. Sometimes you don't even know who the Principal is at some schools. I must reiterate, children actually don't see race. I use to think that was a myth. In my observation, it is a learned behavior , racism that is. I had some Chicken George Negros tell me when I came to Williamsport PA. The white folks wouldn't give me a job. They would do "this and that". I was like " oh really". Put me anywhere on God's green earth and I will survive. I was in the hospital weeks ago for the flu. My roommate was an old white guy. Turns out he was a some small town candidate running for office. We got to talking politics and he was a Democrat. I am a Democrat. Then my Indian doctor came in. He said Barak Obama bought land from him back in Chicago. He was real familiar with Chicago politics. I won't go into what was said. But he didn't tell me things I didn't suspect about Obama. I think this small town gives me more experience about the "feel" of the country than just living in New York City. The average white family I have met out here. Pretty much barely making it financially and they love to hunt. Hunting and the Steelers is what PA is about. Plus the schools too. They make sure all the kids get an education. They really don't give up on the kids. I will give them that.

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  14.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 24 Nov 09

    Scoff/Sarah, Just breezing through and thought I say "hello" to you. I do hope all is well with your families. By the way Sarah, I enjoyed your lunch story the other day. Thanks for sharing. I'll comment more on that later. Please keep the invite open for that dinner and wine. Mr. Queens, hello to you as well. I see you and tatt are sparring again(lol). The two of you keeps me laughing. By the way, I agree with you about the "hating and blaming white people mentality". Life is what you make it, end of story!! When you truly know your self worth, no racism, hatred of any group can keep you down. Don't complain, don't whine and don't make excuses is my motto! Happy Thanksgiving, btw how is your mom? For what it's worth, Integrity, loyalty, and being a LADY at all times, is the true Power, Strength and Essence of being a Woman!! A virtious woman doesn't need to exact vengeance!!!! It's some spooky females out here!!!!! love godiva

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  15. Posted: 24 Nov 09

    You call upon the spirit ErzulieRedEyes when you need assistance with revenge, and to avenge you with cases of domestic violence. Her eyes are red because she is angry, but righteously angry because her anger is her power and strength that she uses to help those that need vengeance. http://erzulieredeyes.com/

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  16. Posted: 24 Nov 09

    Comment by tatted2death on 23 November 2009: RedEyes is QUEEENS…….LMAO!!!!" Don't know who YOU are but you need to get an education. ErzulieRedEyes is the name of a very powerful voudou spirit that is a spiritual aspect of the voudou spirit named Erzulie Dantor. That's my screen name because that is my favorite spirit and my faith is in voudou. http://erzulieredeyes.com/ Queens is a man, I am a woman, there is a difference.

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  17.   Ebonique says:
    Posted: 23 Nov 09

    People who are racist should be ashamed of themselves. There is only one God and he made us all. No matter what race you are, if you peeled back the skin, we all would look the same. Life is too short to be negative. I always pray for everyone. If you have been hurt by someone, just pray for themm. God is in charge of us all. Besides there is already a war being fought, so why argue and fight here. Can't we all just get along?

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  18.   Member says:
    Posted: 23 Nov 09

    Who is Redeyes? I speak for myself. I don't do petty shit. I have enough to handle with my own blog. Tattoo that on your forehead. You should know better. Good day loose booty.

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  19. Posted: 23 Nov 09

    RedEyes is QUEEENS.......LMAO!!!!

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  20.   Ebonique says:
    Posted: 23 Nov 09

    I am so sorry for the persons who speak before that think. Each one of us have an opinion. I can only speak for myself. Interacial dating for me is a plus. It not only gives me satisfaction, but the opportunity to learn of other cultures and people. If we all give it some thought, we would know to be true that there is not a pure race in the U.S.today. We are "The Great American Melting Pot." All this complaining and disagreement should be used for something positive. I have been introduced to many men on this site. It is embarassing that I've only heard from 2 black males. All of the others were white men out of 106 who has viewed me. So what does that say to you? I will continue to meet persons on this service, and hope to maybe meet Mr. Right. I must say this, I have no intentions of dating men of my race as of date. I will say that from the white men I have chatted with, they have all been polite and meaningful. Most of the brothers out there can't see the forrest for the trees. One thing each of us should always remember,a person's color has nothing to do with the color of the heart. When two people meet and develope a relationship, they should be looking in the same direction for the same things.

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  21.   jeffreyeas says:
    Posted: 23 Nov 09

    "Are black women the only opponents of interracial relationships?" Of course not, you think Asian men like when non-Asian guys go for their girls?

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  22.   meisha81 says:
    Posted: 22 Nov 09

    I have been reading everyone's posts on here, this topic has gotten really deep! It's good to me to read what everyone has send & to try to learn from it-keep an open mind. I never heard of this Karla lady before, WOW I will add, but I will be Googling her to read up on her background. Thanks for the info RedEyes!

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  23.   awarding4u says:
    Posted: 22 Nov 09

    First of all GOD created all people no matter what racial group you are. God gives us the freedom of choice to befriend, dating, and marry regardless of what racial profile you come from. Black women should not be angry because either something in your life is not pleasing to GOD. So it starts with one own self examination on a spiritual note. Why should your allow youry emotions to continue to rob you of your personal life? Now to keep it real don't blame other people because you have some type of low self-apprasial about yourself. Now black some women do judge a black man because of his occupational, material welfare, and their own past relationship that went south. Black women get back to the basis when real black women back in the days get into the trenches to help uplift the black man instead of shifting the blame game, and when the truth is what part do you play in this? The fact is that if you are in a relationship with your own racial group or any other racial group if you are not living a spiritual life you are not equally yoke according to GOD.

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  24. Posted: 21 Nov 09

    Jaden24 you are doing two of the typical white magic attacks: the Drowning Maestro – I would listen to you if you did not sound so angry (blaming you for their disdain). You don't like what i'm saying because i sound angry. AND: the Post Racial – the president is black so racism is over. And since racism is over why didn't you tell your kin folk at the kkk to shut down their organizations? Currently they have a working website and over ten thousand neo-nazi white supremacy groups in america and worldwide, did they not get the memo? LOL

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  25. Posted: 21 Nov 09

    http://abagond.wordpress.com/2009/11/19/the-glosario/

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  26. Posted: 21 Nov 09

    Typical comments white people use to say racism no longer exists: wite-magik attax – the 18 underhanded ways white people have of winning an argument about race. They are mostly derailing tactics meant to throw others off balance. Here are ten: the Oversensitive – brown people feel instead of think. You cannot trust what brown people say. the Appeal to Melanin – if a brown says it it must be true – but only if it supports my argument. the Existential Blackmail – “If you ain’t White, then you just ain’t right.” Whites must control what is seen as true at all costs. the Wite Disdain - I am white so there is no reason to take racism seriously. the Drowning Maestro – I would listen to you if you did not sound so angry (blaming you for their disdain). the Seeing-Eye Frog – I have never experienced racism so racism is over. the Post Racial – the president is black so racism is over. the Fallacious Flip – you are racist too! “Reverse racism” is just as bad as white racism. the Feint Disclaimer - “I am not racist, but…” the Insatiable Martyr - brown people love playing the martyr.

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  27. Posted: 20 Nov 09

    Comment by jaden24 on 20 November 2009: RedEyes, you keep saying that white men hate black women. that isnt truth and it doesnt even work as a blanket statement. I am white- I am dating a black girl. there are many guys like me doing the same thing. there are many white people that voted the first black president in. there are many websites that promote interracial dating. its very common today…" HA! White men will use black women for sex and date them but they do not love them or honor them with marriage! DUH that's typical. Slave raper Jefferson dated Sally Hemmings (against her will since she was a child slave) so what? Everyone is supposed to be impressed with the white men that use black women for sex? Do you want a trophy for "dating a black girl"? It has been obvious that white men hate black women. That's why a white man chose a serial killer over black women with no criminal record.

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  28. Posted: 20 Nov 09

    Comment by jaden24 on 20 November 2009: RedEyes, you keep saying that white men hate black women. that isnt truth and it doesnt even work as a blanket statement. I am white- I am dating a black girl. there are many guys like me doing the same thing. there are many white people that voted the first black president in. there are many websites that promote interracial dating. its very common today… I am not sure what you have experienced or interpreted but you are a very angry person inside. even though I dont know what you look like I am not attracted to you because you have a very demeaning, negative attitude. I feel bad for you though I know you dont seek pity. it seems as though you enjoy being mad about yesterday instead of focusing on change being made today and plans for a better tomorrow " LMBAO!!! YOU expect me to feel bad because YOU aren't attracted to me? You don't know me you ignorant fool. And who do you think you are that I should feel bad about what YOU think? LOL Your white superiority complex is showing, you white men walk around acting like every woman should automatically want you and worship you. Stereotypes were invented by white people, so don't come on here telling black women not to stereotype when it is WHITE people that created them and perpetuate them. I observe and I TELL THE TRUTH. YOU don't like it because i'm not some uncle tom buttering up the image of white people. Its because of the hatred of white men that black women are not approached and that's the truth!

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  29. Posted: 20 Nov 09

    Geez why don't we stop all this racism crap for goodness seek?? We are all ONE. Let's all be proud of who we want to be with, we all have the right to do so. If other women want to give dirty looks because we are dating men outside our race, let them look, it is just because they are jealous. I personally don't care who looks at me, because I really love attention so hey.... I would just follow my heart and let OBSERVERS be always worried!!

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  30.   jaden24 says:
    Posted: 20 Nov 09

    It is late and perhaps I was a was a little harsh with my attraction statement towards you. my point was that most people I know today are attracted to someone for who they are as a person please stop with the stereotypes already...

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  31.   jaden24 says:
    Posted: 20 Nov 09

    RedEyes, you keep saying that white men hate black women. that isnt truth and it doesnt even work as a blanket statement. I am white- I am dating a black girl. there are many guys like me doing the same thing. there are many white people that voted the first black president in. there are many websites that promote interracial dating. its very common today... I am not sure what you have experienced or interpreted but you are a very angry person inside. even though I dont know what you look like I am not attracted to you because you have a very demeaning, negative attitude. I feel bad for you though I know you dont seek pity. it seems as though you enjoy being mad about yesterday instead of focusing on change being made today and plans for a better tomorrow :(

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  32. Posted: 20 Nov 09

    Comment by jaden24 on 19 November 2009: Dez, thanks for setting the record straight. reading all these ignorant, hateful statements make me want to puke. no need to mention actors when we have a black president though whoever here experiences discrimination I am sorry. but you need to realize that times are changing and some cities/regions faster than others people need to stop stereotyping and look for happiness instead of the ugliness in people" NOTHING has changed, white supremacy still rules the world and the white people still hate black people.

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  33. Posted: 20 Nov 09

    Comment by dezme on 20 November 2009: Times are changing Redeyes. Sorry you are soo bitter, I hope you find peace within yourself. Also, understand that not everyone thinks the way you do! Well majority think the opposite of you. That is why white ppl are so timid of us is because of sterotypical ppl like you. Life is what you make it, and what ever it is that is making you upset; I hope you change it. Jsden24 tks for the love and you are right; we have a black president Enough said!!!" You sound like a joke. I told the truth and you don't like it, too bad. Pretending white people are not racist is not going to make a white man love you, it makes YOU sound like a blind uncle tom. White men don't approach black women simply because we are black! No matter what we do or don't do white men hate us and fear us because we are black women. I guess you are too daft to understand what i wrote. Karla Homolka a woman that raped and killed 3 women including her own sister got married and has a child. The white man that married her had no problem "approaching" her, even after she killed people! Yet white men are afraid to approach black women with educations and no criminal records! It has nothing to do with how someone acts, it is the simple fact that white men hate black people and black women especially. That's why Karla Homolka the rapist/murderer had no problem getting married and getting a guy because she is white. Black women have trouble because we are the most hated and considered sub-human by white people. And if a man is "timid" around a woman he is not a man, period. If there is something to be afraid of it should be the rapist/murderer but because that person is white she was good enough to be marriage material.

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  34.   dezme says:
    Posted: 20 Nov 09

    Times are changing Redeyes. Sorry you are soo bitter, I hope you find peace within yourself. Also, understand that not everyone thinks the way you do! Well majority think the opposite of you. That is why white ppl are so timid of us is because of sterotypical ppl like you. Life is what you make it, and what ever it is that is making you upset; I hope you change it. Jsden24 tks for the love and you are right; we have a black president Enough said!!!

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  35.   jaden24 says:
    Posted: 20 Nov 09

    Dez, thanks for setting the record straight. reading all these ignorant, hateful statements make me want to puke. no need to mention actors when we have a black president though whoever here experiences discrimination I am sorry. but you need to realize that times are changing and some cities/regions faster than others people need to stop stereotyping and look for happiness instead of the ugliness in people

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  36.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 20 Nov 09

    @dezme I don't know how old you are but just keep living and you won't sound so euphoric.Anytime you have to pretend that racism is not harder on a black person in order to INVITE white men to date you, you're already in trouble and he isn't sincere about you. What you fail to understand is that whites allow other races to blend and be accepted, so they are ALLOWED to "not care about it". If you are black, I suggest you remember that you are black and that it makes a difference to them;Trust, THEY won't "not care". Peace(from reality) @Redeyes I'm going to google this person and read up on this crime. I also have been on abagonds blog. What a coincidence!Great insight there.

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  37.   dezme says:
    Posted: 20 Nov 09

    Well this sounds as if we are our own enemies here. You all are so concerned about the negative and not focusing on the positive. White men do not have us they are timid to approach us because of women like you!!! You all are blind of your own racisim its sad. Check out the tatoos of Obama on ppl, its majority of white ppl not black. Lets stop being the victiums and move towards rebuilding our society so we can over come these negative images. Beyonce, Halle Berry, Stachy Dash are hot and everyone thinks so. They are black, oh but ignorant black ppl will say they are an exception. No you need to stop being uglly hearted. Just because you were discraminated against doesn't mean every race hates black ppl. We are not the only minority in this world who goes thru this. WE ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CARE ABOUT IT!!! TO answer fkois' question an eye for an eye makes you blind!! Dang its sad a 23yrold is saying this. Majority of you older ppl are embarrasing me! Im done with this posting and I am going to find fine me, black , white, asian, spanish, because I am beautiful in the inside and out! And because black women are hot!!

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  38.   dezme says:
    Posted: 20 Nov 09

    Well this sounds as if we are our own enemies here. You all are so concerned about the negative and not focusing on the positive. White men do not have us they are timid to approach us because of women like you!!! You all are blind of your own racisim its sad. Check out the tatoos of Obama on ppl, its majority of white ppl not black. Lets stop being the victiums and move towards rebuilding our society so we can over come these negative images. Beyonce, Halle Berry, Stachy Dash are hot and everyone thinks so. They are black, oh but ignorant black ppl will say they are an exception. No you need to stop being uglly hearted. Just because you were discraminated against doesn't mean every race hates black ppl. We are not the only minority in this world who goes thru this. WE ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CARE ABOUT IT!!! TO answer fkois' question an eye for an eye makes you blind!! Dang its sad a 23yrold is saying this. Majority of you older ppl are embarrasing me! Im done with this posting and I am going to find fine me, black , white, asian, spanish, because I am beautiful in the inside and out! And because black women are hot!!

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  39. Posted: 20 Nov 09

    Comment by bigeyes31 on 19 November 2009: @ErzulieRedEyes Real Talk! Real Talk! Damn you hit that RIGHT on the Head! White women get a social pardon no matter what she has done. She knows this too. Wow, I almost jumped out of my seat when I read your post. No matter if a black woman is an upstanding citizen, christian, moral, educated…hell…fun, she will never be good enough to a white man. Those are the facts. I’m not talking about the exceptions, I’m speaking of the rule." Yeah BigEyes31, i had to mention Karla Homolka, she got out of prison and her husband Paul Bernardo is in jail for life. That nasty trick got off easy by pretending to be a victim and blaming her husband for the rapes and murders. Now its true Paul her hubbie was a rapist, (The Scarsborough Rapist) but Karla was a WILLING participant in the kidnaps, rapes, and murders. The cops found that out when they saw her and Paul on the tapes, smiling laughing and assaulting the women. This lady is married and living in the Carribean Islands. Now one of the many stereotypical reasons why white men don't like black women is because black women are criminals and low class. Well Karla, as an example, is a rapist and murderer and she is married with a 2 year old boy...so they can quit telling their lies and just admit that they hate us no matter what we do or don't do, because we are black.

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  40. Posted: 20 Nov 09

    And many times you will find white people think their thoughts and feelings matter more than black people's: http://abagond.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/the-feelings-of-white-people/ Sometimes when black people talk about the racism they have gone through, white people will come in and try to diminish the suffering of the black person and make white people's feelings sound more important and valid.

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  41. Posted: 20 Nov 09

    FKOI it sounds like you have the white lens problem. Its where white people try to tell black people what they see and feel as if white people are black! YOU are not black, YOU have never been treated the way black people have been treated, YOU have white privilege. YOU cannot tell a black person what they are feeling or thinking, YOU ain't black. You should read Abagond's blog entry: http://abagond.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/the-white-lens/

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  42.   debtown says:
    Posted: 19 Nov 09

    fkoi: you are focusing on winning a debate. this is the wrong subject matter because, again, you have not walked in an African-American woman's shoes. instead of trying to invalid this observation by basically calling us ignorant, uninformed and bigoted, why don't you just admit that you do not share the same black experience so you just don't understand? It is condescending, insulting and totally undeserved. Black women are out in the world talking to many other black women and we are sharing the same experience. You are not, so YOU JUST DON'T KNOW. The fact that you are trying to "win" a debate on a subject matter you know nothing about shows your level of ignorance and insensitivity. Actually, from your statements, you sound somewhat racist.

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  43.   fkoi says:
    Posted: 19 Nov 09

    Interestingly, my post spoke in generalities, not really pointing at anyone in general. And no one really answered the question, "If one responds to racism with racism is anything accomplished?" However the responses were telling on other fronts. For myself, sometimes I think I know what someone is thinking. Sometimes I'm right. Sometimes I'm wrong. In any case, I know not to bet the rent on my abilities to read someone's mind. Others may be more adept at it, but I suggest that you keep the rent money safe. Beyond that, any time anyone suggests that White men so and so or Black women such and such, the racism in the statement is blatant. To suggest that I wouldn't kiss a Black woman on the lips is ridiculous. Black women get kissed on the lips by White men all the time (including me). So the blanket statements like that are incorrect, uninformed and bigoted. Ah, again with the holy grail of ignorance, another blog trifecta. The same kind of lack of understanding that has separated people for thousands of years is alive and well. Sometimes experience can be an eye-opener. Other times it can limit sight more effectively than an executioner's blindfold.

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  44.   NJBello says:
    Posted: 19 Nov 09

    To Lion Cat: keep in mind this is an INTERRACIAL site, so the majority of the black women will be interested in non-black men. I'm sure many are not racist towards black men; but their purpose here is to meet others. Many black women will state that they're interested in black men also if you read their profiles entirely. Are you solely into black women? If so,there are ebony sites. You're telling your sistas not to be bitter when it sure seems like you are.

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  45.   bigeyes31 says:
    Posted: 19 Nov 09

    @ErzulieRedEyes Real Talk! Real Talk! Damn you hit that RIGHT on the Head! White women get a social pardon no matter what she has done. She knows this too. Wow, I almost jumped out of my seat when I read your post. No matter if a black woman is an upstanding citizen, christian, moral, educated...hell...fun, she will never be good enough to a white man. Those are the facts. I'm not talking about the exceptions, I'm speaking of the rule.

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  46.   debtown says:
    Posted: 19 Nov 09

    I hear ya' ErzulieRedEyes! LOL!

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  47. Posted: 19 Nov 09

    Comment by debtown on 19 November 2009: To fkoi: It’s not about responding to racism with racism. Again, it comes from experience and, after a while, you can just tell when someone is judging you by your skin color. You don’t become bitter, you are just aware." Yep, you can tell when someone is giving you nasty looks. But when that happens, I stare the person directly in their eyes and scare them half to death! LOL I figure if someone is going to be giving you nasty looks or harassing you out in the open, you should let them know that you are not their personal punching bag.

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  48.   debtown says:
    Posted: 19 Nov 09

    To fkoi: It's not about responding to racism with racism. Again, it comes from experience and, after a while, you can just tell when someone is judging you by your skin color. You don't become bitter, you are just aware.

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  49. Posted: 19 Nov 09

    And think about this, white men hate black women so much that they find us disgusting to touch or to look at. Always calling us ugly, ghetto, stupid, and using any negative stereotype that they can invent to destroy our self-esteem and our humanity. White men hate black women so much that they wouldn't kiss us on the lips. Yet a white man has no problem kissing Karla Homolka after she orally raped and assaulted 3 young women including her own sister. (I guess its because of the toothpaste Karla is using.)

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  50. Posted: 19 Nov 09

    White men, the majority of white men hate black women. THAT is why these couples are rare. Most white men hate black people in general and they put white women up on a pedestal in society. Black women are seen as not human and seen as not good enough in the white man's eyes. White men see black women as black first, and women second, if at all. There are many good black women in this world but because they are black no matter what they do white people will stereotype them and hate them. Karla Homolka the canadian serial killer/rapist did 12 years in prison for raping and killing her own sister and two other young girls. She is out now MARRIED and has a child. Now you know if a black woman rapes and kills somebody no one would marry her, but just because Karla is white, a white man sees her as good enough to marry even after the evil she has done. (I feel sorry for her kid and the people that have to live next to her.) Black women with no criminal record at all are being rejected and hated on, while white women who have murdered and done sick things are being swept off their feet! Shows you the white hatred, white men will marry a serial killer but they won't marry a black woman.

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