Are black women the only opponents of interracial relationships?
Warning: This article may be offensive to some readers. This is not the objective. The article is in no way meant to defame or inflame any parties, groups or persons.
"Some black guys are going to date white girls. Attempting to beat up the white girls will not turn that tide. …You’d be better off learning to love yourself than becoming mired in bitterness and hate over that thing that’s not really about you." From the post Sometimes the White Girl (Or Guy) Isn’t about You (Unconventional Wisdom) by The Black Snob
Just like the above excerpt suggests, there is this popular belief that black women see interracial relationships as a personal insult to them. This issue has been raised over and over again. And after reading many articles that support that belief, I can’t help but wonder why people portray black women to be the only ones who react disapprovingly to interracial relationships.
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A former girlfriend of mine (black) once told me she felt that some of my white female friends and Asian women weren’t jazzed at all about our relationship. And when I asked her if they openly told her so, she told me they didn't have to shout about their disapproval; their body language (yeah you know those stares accompanied by sneers, the sizing-up up and down look) said it all. Well, to tell you the truth, I later noticed that they were a hell lot nicer to her when she was just friend than when we started dating.
I believe she is not only black woman who gets this general bitchiness because of her involvement with a non-black man? Here is how one woman describes this whole resentment to black white relationships:
"…the reasons a black woman might object to an interracial relationship are wholly different from the reasons a white woman might. Black women worry how the black community will be affected overall if, say, the most successful black men find themselves with white women again and again. They worry about the effect interracial relationships have on low marriage rates in the black community. In contrast, when I encounter white women who cop an attitude upon discovering that my boyfriend and I are an item, their hostility comes from a very different place—a place of superiority.
It’s as if they are asking themselves, “Why on earth would he be with a black girl when I’m here?""
Well, I have been asked a similar question by a white woman who wanted a relationship with me. I took it lightly coz I figured it was just the normal kind of jealousy anyone would feel if the object of their desire fell in love with another. So I gotta ask: Do white women feel this way when they see a non-white woman with an eligible white man?
If so, why then should black women continue to bear the responsibility for the hostility that black white couples face when we know very well that some black men, white women and Asian women (as I have heard) - are also opposed to such unions? Are black women the only foes of interracial relationships? Has anyone experienced this kind of 'hostility' from white men?
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187 responses to "Are black women the only opponents of interracial relationships?"
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ErzulieRedEyes says:Posted: 20 Nov 09
Comment by bigeyes31 on 19 November 2009: @ErzulieRedEyes Real Talk! Real Talk! Damn you hit that RIGHT on the Head! White women get a social pardon no matter what she has done. She knows this too. Wow, I almost jumped out of my seat when I read your post. No matter if a black woman is an upstanding citizen, christian, moral, educated…hell…fun, she will never be good enough to a white man. Those are the facts. I’m not talking about the exceptions, I’m speaking of the rule." Yeah BigEyes31, i had to mention Karla Homolka, she got out of prison and her husband Paul Bernardo is in jail for life. That nasty trick got off easy by pretending to be a victim and blaming her husband for the rapes and murders. Now its true Paul her hubbie was a rapist, (The Scarsborough Rapist) but Karla was a WILLING participant in the kidnaps, rapes, and murders. The cops found that out when they saw her and Paul on the tapes, smiling laughing and assaulting the women. This lady is married and living in the Carribean Islands. Now one of the many stereotypical reasons why white men don't like black women is because black women are criminals and low class. Well Karla, as an example, is a rapist and murderer and she is married with a 2 year old boy...so they can quit telling their lies and just admit that they hate us no matter what we do or don't do, because we are black.
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ErzulieRedEyes says:Posted: 20 Nov 09
And many times you will find white people think their thoughts and feelings matter more than black people's: http://abagond.wordpress.com/2009/11/17/the-feelings-of-white-people/ Sometimes when black people talk about the racism they have gone through, white people will come in and try to diminish the suffering of the black person and make white people's feelings sound more important and valid.
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ErzulieRedEyes says:Posted: 20 Nov 09
FKOI it sounds like you have the white lens problem. Its where white people try to tell black people what they see and feel as if white people are black! YOU are not black, YOU have never been treated the way black people have been treated, YOU have white privilege. YOU cannot tell a black person what they are feeling or thinking, YOU ain't black. You should read Abagond's blog entry: http://abagond.wordpress.com/2009/11/13/the-white-lens/
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debtown says:Posted: 19 Nov 09fkoi: you are focusing on winning a debate. this is the wrong subject matter because, again, you have not walked in an African-American woman's shoes. instead of trying to invalid this observation by basically calling us ignorant, uninformed and bigoted, why don't you just admit that you do not share the same black experience so you just don't understand? It is condescending, insulting and totally undeserved. Black women are out in the world talking to many other black women and we are sharing the same experience. You are not, so YOU JUST DON'T KNOW. The fact that you are trying to "win" a debate on a subject matter you know nothing about shows your level of ignorance and insensitivity. Actually, from your statements, you sound somewhat racist.
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fkoi says:Posted: 19 Nov 09Interestingly, my post spoke in generalities, not really pointing at anyone in general. And no one really answered the question, "If one responds to racism with racism is anything accomplished?" However the responses were telling on other fronts. For myself, sometimes I think I know what someone is thinking. Sometimes I'm right. Sometimes I'm wrong. In any case, I know not to bet the rent on my abilities to read someone's mind. Others may be more adept at it, but I suggest that you keep the rent money safe. Beyond that, any time anyone suggests that White men so and so or Black women such and such, the racism in the statement is blatant. To suggest that I wouldn't kiss a Black woman on the lips is ridiculous. Black women get kissed on the lips by White men all the time (including me). So the blanket statements like that are incorrect, uninformed and bigoted. Ah, again with the holy grail of ignorance, another blog trifecta. The same kind of lack of understanding that has separated people for thousands of years is alive and well. Sometimes experience can be an eye-opener. Other times it can limit sight more effectively than an executioner's blindfold.
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NJBello says:Posted: 19 Nov 09
To Lion Cat: keep in mind this is an INTERRACIAL site, so the majority of the black women will be interested in non-black men. I'm sure many are not racist towards black men; but their purpose here is to meet others. Many black women will state that they're interested in black men also if you read their profiles entirely. Are you solely into black women? If so,there are ebony sites. You're telling your sistas not to be bitter when it sure seems like you are.
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 19 Nov 09@ErzulieRedEyes Real Talk! Real Talk! Damn you hit that RIGHT on the Head! White women get a social pardon no matter what she has done. She knows this too. Wow, I almost jumped out of my seat when I read your post. No matter if a black woman is an upstanding citizen, christian, moral, educated...hell...fun, she will never be good enough to a white man. Those are the facts. I'm not talking about the exceptions, I'm speaking of the rule.
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ErzulieRedEyes says:Posted: 19 Nov 09
Comment by debtown on 19 November 2009: To fkoi: It’s not about responding to racism with racism. Again, it comes from experience and, after a while, you can just tell when someone is judging you by your skin color. You don’t become bitter, you are just aware." Yep, you can tell when someone is giving you nasty looks. But when that happens, I stare the person directly in their eyes and scare them half to death! LOL I figure if someone is going to be giving you nasty looks or harassing you out in the open, you should let them know that you are not their personal punching bag.
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debtown says:Posted: 19 Nov 09
To fkoi: It's not about responding to racism with racism. Again, it comes from experience and, after a while, you can just tell when someone is judging you by your skin color. You don't become bitter, you are just aware.
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ErzulieRedEyes says:Posted: 19 Nov 09
And think about this, white men hate black women so much that they find us disgusting to touch or to look at. Always calling us ugly, ghetto, stupid, and using any negative stereotype that they can invent to destroy our self-esteem and our humanity. White men hate black women so much that they wouldn't kiss us on the lips. Yet a white man has no problem kissing Karla Homolka after she orally raped and assaulted 3 young women including her own sister. (I guess its because of the toothpaste Karla is using.)
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ErzulieRedEyes says:Posted: 19 Nov 09
White men, the majority of white men hate black women. THAT is why these couples are rare. Most white men hate black people in general and they put white women up on a pedestal in society. Black women are seen as not human and seen as not good enough in the white man's eyes. White men see black women as black first, and women second, if at all. There are many good black women in this world but because they are black no matter what they do white people will stereotype them and hate them. Karla Homolka the canadian serial killer/rapist did 12 years in prison for raping and killing her own sister and two other young girls. She is out now MARRIED and has a child. Now you know if a black woman rapes and kills somebody no one would marry her, but just because Karla is white, a white man sees her as good enough to marry even after the evil she has done. (I feel sorry for her kid and the people that have to live next to her.) Black women with no criminal record at all are being rejected and hated on, while white women who have murdered and done sick things are being swept off their feet! Shows you the white hatred, white men will marry a serial killer but they won't marry a black woman.
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dezme says:Posted: 19 Nov 09
THIS IS A ANSWER FROM TODAYS YOUNG BLACK WOMEN ABOUT ALL THIS AND HAVE ASKED MY BLACK FEMALE FRIENDS TOO!!!! 15yes ago black women were against interracial dating and that sterotype has carried with us till today. Our parents hardly dated outside of there race but WE AREEEE HAHA! Our parents teach us to treat each other as equal and thats what we are doing!!! The young generation of black women are not opposed to it; except for the ugly girls who can hardly get a man! Even ghetto girls are doing it, they just get with guys who are ghetto too! But white men are more timid to approach a black women due to this sterotype and because blk men get mad. The ppl who get mad due to interracial dating are ignorant and jealous. They want that individual for themselves. Also, white women do tend to give off that negative vibe, when an black girl can attract all colors of men. I get it alot and I like all of the flavors of the ice cream, chocolate, vanilla, dont know any examples of other flavor, but you get my drift.
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turnaround27 says:Posted: 19 Nov 09
The question can ONLY be answered by BLACK WOMEN...so why all the comments from the peanut gallery...AND who said Black women ARE opponents of interracial relations????? Why the heck do you think this site is here????????If you dont like it ....LEAVE>>>>>DAG....
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vangaryd says:Posted: 19 Nov 09i think these people need to leave black or white business alone and mind their own. individuals take love where ever they finds it, if love is white its there for everyone and if love is black its there for everyone as well. there is no boundry in love, whenever people deside to take the stigma off love and stop been stupid then they will see that there is no colour in love
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fkoi says:Posted: 18 Nov 09
If one responds to racism with racism is anything accomplished. Does an ignorant response to ignorance decrease ignorance? Do resentments piled on top of resentments make for less resentment? When I feed my resentments I believe it is like taking poison hoping it kills someone else. If these random thoughts ring true for anyone, I'm glad. If not, oh well.
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Lioncat says:Posted: 18 Nov 09I am a black man. Why are blk women complaining about white women? On this site alone the majority of blk women are seeking wht boy's. When I see someone or, read a profile of someone I might be itnerested in, there profile says white/asian. It seems to me that these blk women are doing there thing as well. My preference is black however, they don't leave much choice when they are seeking blk men. STOP COMPLAINING SISTA'S AND MAKE YOURSELF KNOWN IF YOU ARE TRUYLY SEEKING A BLACK MAN.
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ErzulieRedEyes says:Posted: 18 Nov 09
Laurelton thats true! Where was Shaniya's daddy when she needed him? Shows you how nasty and hateful white men are. I have only seen a few kind ones.
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debtown says:Posted: 17 Nov 09
In response to fkoi's comment on 11/10/09. "And does she really think that White women are thinking, “Why on earth would he be with a black girl when I’m here?” Those prone to that kind of arrogant ignorance, in my experience, are more likely to be thinking, “Why on earth would he be with THAT GIRL when I’m here?” No race, creed or other description required. And what about Black guys who share that kind of arrogant ignorance? And in both cases the arrogance is probably self-doubt in a different wrapper." I totally agree with the lady in this article. It comes from experience in various situations. You can tell when a person is sizing you up and you can tell when they are looking down on you. If you are nice, attractive, and accomplished, etc., what other reason would they disapprove? I have come to the conclusion that there are some things that a person of Caucasian background will never understand because they have not "walked in an African-American person's shoes". So instead of criticizing her perspective, why not just respect it? After all, you were not even present at this particular event.
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DCSmile120 says:Posted: 17 Nov 09
I love black men,I love white men, my first boyfriend was Puerto Rican. I'm grateful for the way my parents reared me. What I look for in a man has very little to do with the color of his skin but more the content of his character. When did race become a main source of choosing a mate (I understand for some it is)? If I meet a white man and he treats me with the respect, the kindness, the love that I have for myself and we have a sincere chemistry between us, then that's worth building upon. As for interracial couples WHO CARES? I have enough wonderful things happening in my life to not be worried or concerned about why he/she dates outside of their race. Most black women that I know, really don't care if a black man dates a white woman. I know I don't care. I care how we treat one another. As with any relationship, you must weed out the ones that bring a negative energy to the table. Lastly, fall in love for all the right reasons. I see life as to short to waste time thinking about why two people choose one another. Let's focus on what makes us better people, let's put out positive energy and we will attract the same.... wheather he/she is white, black, Asian etc....
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beachbum81 says:Posted: 17 Nov 09you cant stereotype people based off of a situation or a handful of them for that matter I met an adorable girl on this website and for the last 3 weeks I have been slowly falling for her. I love who she is as a person and we have so much in common but here is the rub... she is a 9hr drive away. so every day we talk, often throughout the entire day- we know so much about each other because there is genuine interest in each other. I am not sure how this is going to work out but I am not going to let distance discourage the love that I have for her DO NOT tell me why I date black girls "black girls" as a "white guy" or clump me into a stereotype because of what limited knowledge you have. you are making yourself look biased, ignorant and shallow...
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Member says:Posted: 17 Nov 09
Dear Beach Bum You need to open your eyes. White men using black women as a fetish. Prime example the North Carolina case with the little biracial black girl dying. Her useless white father did nothing to protect her. I documented this story on my blog. http://www.mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/ Enough said
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beachbum81 says:Posted: 17 Nov 09
Mr Queens, you need to open your eyes. it appears that you base your oppinion out of selfish reasons let people choose who they want to love. why do you draw divides between black & white? stop seeing color and look for qualities in people. then you will understand why "white" can love "black" and vice versa
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ErzulieRedEyes says:Posted: 16 Nov 09
I suggest the blog entry from Abagond, "why so few white men marry black women" he points out the truths. The true reason that white men typically do not marry black women is because white men are racist, they do not want their children to be black. You never hear this, you always hear people bashing black women and blaming black women for the reason why white men won't choose them. No talks about the white men. There are some men out there who love black women but the majority hate our guts and they always use us like punching bags and the butt of all of their jokes. While white women are put up on a pedestal and viewed as godessess in society. Good is rare, but even though the majority of people in this world have a strong hatred for black women somebody out there loves us.
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Lioncat says:Posted: 16 Nov 09
I find this topic so interesting and contradictory. My preference is my sista's however, at least 85-90% of the black women on this site are seeking white men, that is a vast majority. Make yourself available, ditch the attitude's and bitterness. For those black men that prefer white women, they have elevated themselves to a false position.
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Member says:Posted: 16 Nov 09
Der Zuzu Well, I am not here for the reasons sellout black women are here (out of desperation). I enjoy the banter back and forth and the stimulating topics. Oh for the record, nobody "hates" on interracial relationships. We just want white men to stop picking you last to date. Until that happens, I figure they will be disagreements and debates here. Thank you Zuzu you are quite an attractive woman but you have a "thin" skin when it comes to men's opinions.
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Ebonique says:Posted: 16 Nov 09Sexyteddytbear, thanks for your comment, it made my day. I am still searching for the right Mr. White. Yes I know he is out there somewhere and if I continue be a member of this service I am sure we will meet. Who knows it could very well be you (smile). When others hate on interacial relationships, they are hating themselves. Ebonique
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Gruesa76 says:Posted: 16 Nov 09The problem is that no one seems to want to mind there business. I dont think there is anyone who is looking for a relationship to piss people off. However I do think that some people (even if they are dating outside of there race instead) will huff and puff when the person of the same race is attractive and they are dating a person of the opposite sex. No one will care when you are nothing to really look at, but if you look like Gabrielle Union, Brad Pitt, Selma Hayek, Chow Yung Phat, Taye Digg, Padma Lakshmi, then there is a problem with you dating outside of their race.
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ZuZu21 says:Posted: 16 Nov 09Well Mr Queen, As the saying goes: Throw a rock into a pack of dogs and the one that yells the loudest is the one that got hit! Seems to me you are a "James"-Lover So let me pose the question to you; Why are you here?????
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Terri1966 says:Posted: 16 Nov 09I strongly believe that love has no color. Why do we have to criticize someone who falls in love with someone of a different race? We're suppose to love others as God has loved us. I do believe that when we come to that place the world would be a better place to live and to raise our kids. Seeing an interracial couple does not bother me at all; if anything it makes me happy to see two different races getting along and getting to know each other. There is so much stereotyping going on. We need to get to know people for who they are and not judge them by what we think someone of their race does. I personally love everyone and do not have a problem dating outside my race.
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fkoi says:Posted: 16 Nov 09
I second Parable. 1Rockgoddess you do rock. This whole topic is based on innuendo and bad journalism. Racism is alive and well but I don't think this blog has to inflame it. Hit us with some reality not bull!
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Bestgirnow says:Posted: 16 Nov 09Well, well: This is a site for us to choose our choice; I thought we'd all get along with that, being in the same boat and all. Obviously not. I'm an AA female and have only dated WM and divorced once from a WM, that's all I know. I haven't been called a sell-out since I was a teenager, and so what. We are who we are, we're accustomed to our experiences, backgrounds, beliefs and choices. Our family has five immediate interracial couples at gatherings. We're the ebony/ivory family if you will; no one is uncomfortable; we love from and through the heart. Enjoy your world and just flow and shuffle along in the world around you. Hey it's good to be noticed, whatever the reason is. I'm here to meet the love of my life...again...and as normal for me, he will be a caucasion man. Cookie.
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Parables says:Posted: 15 Nov 09
1Rockgodess...I see where you get your handle from because you truly ROCK! I totally agree with you....LEAVE US ALONE. It's also interesting what Ebonique stated about her late German fiance....that he didnt like to be called, "White" Why the hell does everything have to be a label. Look, I'm just ME okay? Take me or leave me....and while I'm there EVERYONE GETS ANGRY ABOUT SOMETHING....Personally, I don't give 2 shits who you date or marry....if you like it, I LOVE IT... (Owner of this site: you may want to strongly reconsider who authors your blogs and come up with more thought provoking topics that are inclusive of ALL people...)
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1Rockgodess says:Posted: 15 Nov 09
I think people should let us black women be for once, Jesus christ!!!
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beachbum81 says:Posted: 15 Nov 09
I cant say I will miss you Tricci You seem to be be overly aggressive and you assume too much about the authors intent or what reader's care about for that matter Moving along...
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Member says:Posted: 14 Nov 09
Dear ZuZu How his topics derogatory towards black women? You want blogs that kiss black women asses all day. That is simply not the reality of the world. I bet you didn't want that "Precious" movie to come out because it showed an obese black teenage girl in the ghetto with an abusive mother. I wish more blog owners had the courage to tackle tough issues. If you want an emasculated white man to kiss your ass. I am sure you kind find plenty of them on "Wife Swap". Good day
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ZuZu21 says:Posted: 14 Nov 09
Many of these blogs are posted by this person pinned as "James". The blogs are blatanly derogatory toward so-called black women. It is in my opinion that... "James" is a racist and truly have a deep hate and distrust for the Black woman. My question to you is; "Why are you here?"
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Member says:Posted: 14 Nov 09
This is the problem. Black women tend to be vocal about their dislike of interracial relationships. In particular, black men with white women. I personally think it cuts both ways. Even white men involved with black women, dislikes a black man with a white woman. I don't care how much they deny it. I asked this white guy on my blog would you let your biracial daughter date a "black man". He said he would have to think about it. This white guy has a black woman but he needs to "think about it". I told him "you can think about it but we will take your daughter whether you like it or not'! Interracial dating will always focus around what black men do. It has always been that way. Black women date outside of their race because they 'claim" black men are chasing white women. Now they are saying they always wanted 'to date outside their race". As much flak black men have received for dating outside their race. You should expect the same stinging scrutiny back. Black women do not like it when you smack them back. Now they are saying "oh why are you giving me a hard time about dating a white man". Because your punk ass started it! Listen "girlfriend", because you a damn hypocrite. You can hate on the black man dating a white woman but want to avoid the scrutiny. To make matters worse for sellout black women. They burn bridges with "good black men' and white men hardly want to date them. The only race of women to do this foolishness. I address this in my new blog post " The promiscuous doctrine" by sellout black women. Oh yea, I did a post on "Precious" the Movie about that black obese black girl. A bonus blog post for my fans. http://www.mrlaureltonqueens.blogspot.com/
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delicious149 says:Posted: 14 Nov 09
"Live and let live." Regardless of ones selfish beliefs of interracial dating of couples of different races; love sees no color. Black women turn to white men for lots of reasons just as other races do the same. NO ONE SHOULD DO IT JUST FOR THE EXPERIENCE; BUT FOR THE LOVE ONE FEELS IN ONES HEART. There are good & bad in all races, people are going to be who they are regardless, believe what they want to regardless. I've had white women stop speaking to me when they saw that a white man and I were dating. I would still say hello to them finding that if they are directly spoken to in public, they respond in spite of their disapproval. My best dating experiences have been w/white men. Many black men push black women into seeking love, companionship, etc. elsewhere. I don't feel the need to list reasons as black men & black women KNOW the reasons. Black women are not the only ones targeted for dating outside their race. Other women of color & different cultures experience the same. Treat others as you would like to be treated. If all races would show love, concern, & respect for one another; this world in which we all live would be a better place. LOVE ONE ANOTHER!!!!
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TricciNicci says:Posted: 14 Nov 09Hello Everyone, It is time for me to move on. I will miss many of you here on this site because there are some wonderful individuals who travel these blog boxes and share the experience of opening the door of love with no bounds. I appreciate all the sharing so many have committed to along with the care and concern you show for one another. It has been at times wonderful and at times a challenge for me to share my expressions and experiences. I am grateful regardless. So many of you have touched me so I won't name names lest I forget someone and they think to be not included. Even those I have not spoken with but simply read their reflections. I am glad to have passed this way and any who wish to communicate with me may do so via my page on this site as long as it remains. Now, eventhough this site says it's about widening the horizons of the human being who wishes not to be bound by social, political, religious and other sanctimonious peripherals of mankind's making; I believe it has miles and miles to go to be the guiding post for those wishing to make that journey. During the extent of my experience on this blog I have rallied for the influential direction of the statements it makes via its authors. I and others have made simple requests for the blog's author to also incorporate a more positive and unbiased direction and TONE of commentary. Thus in keeping with the formula of "Coloring Outside the Lines" dogma it attracts its participants with. I don't think the author is willing or capable of doing that. Honestly I have not seen this much negative, narrow minded commentary in any media or publication to be tolerated by People of Color in my life!!! The author seems to have no issue with writing questions, commentary and associated articles which hang by a thread on racist, stereotyped, degrading manifestations of the very thing this site associates against. What CREDIBILITY does the author have to pose some of these racist comments? Race or non-race, however one perceives it, relations are hard enough. Male/female relationships are at times, difficult enough without a person who has ignorant, biased totally smear campaign tactics as such as this author presents. I am not suggesting the author limit the types of topics he corresponds about. I am suggesting he limit the WAY he corresponds and his delivery perspective because he is NOT PRESENTING FAIR AND BALANCED TOPICS - period! Having a white MALE write about my ethnogenetic femininity from a perspective of bias simply based on "what he heard" and/or 'experienced'" carries the same gravitational pull as gossip conflicting with expertise. To be the topic master on a forum that is truly largely ONLY about race relations (with a DOWN perspective on the pivotal focus of the WOMAN OF AFRICAN DESCENT) should require more than having had sexual relations with a Woman of Color (Isn't that what slave owners did? How did that make them experts on being human? Point: We all know it did not even though doing so earned such UNWORTHY men plenty monetarily for being able to champion that role). Would I desire to continue to participate in a blog that has Women of Color fighting, begging...issuing great effort and concern to NOT BE THE TARGETS of humiliating statements and depictions (such as the artistic photo of the T-shirt wearing woman above)? Where oh where is the article about (with corresponding photo no doubt) women of Caucasian breeding that decries them as "White SKANK", Wanted or NOT?" Are white women perceived by Black men as the Slut factor or are Black women perceived the same?' or "Asian SLUTS, Hot or Not?" Are Asians to often targeted as being sluts, or do White men think all women are sluts?' WTH! That's what you call Blog JOURNALISM?! No Thanks. Where is ALEX HALEY when you need him?!!!!!
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 13 Nov 09
Hi Ebonique I am so sorry about what happened to you and the loss of your fiancee,so very sad. Keep your head up and your heart out;the perfect man for you will come. If you are able, how about traveling to Germany or Europe in general? You never know he might be there waiting for you. :-) Sexyteddybear, what do you mean specifically when you say they have all been like that?Like what?
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sexytedybear says:Posted: 13 Nov 09
I think that's why white men and black women don't date nearly as much as any other intercail couples me personally I would love to be with a blackgirl but all the ones I have met have been like that and I guess that's why I am here
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bigeyes31 says:Posted: 11 Nov 09
It's very hard to get into good long-term relationships(marriages) these days, that you might get mean-mugged no matter what color you are. People are breaking up all over the place. Marriages and relationships are splitting up or becoming strained due to economic troubles and the stress thereof. If you have found someone and are happy, enjoy the stares, make a game of it.I believe in making lemonade from lemons. I can be such a diva sometimes,LOL;I'd probably enjoy all the attention, LOL LOL LOL! Peace Eveyone
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ACEBENICE says:Posted: 11 Nov 09
i remember being out at an italian restaurant and this older white woman stared a nice size hole into me...lol. my point is, she was with her own husband and me and my date were none of her business. so i stared back and she kept on staring until i flipped her the finger. i personally don't care what people think, but it is wise not go into establishments where their attitudes are ignorant. and no, most people dont care. when i see a black man and a white woman together, all i can think of is good luck with the stupid people. i never cared because i don't want what somebody else has anyway. this thing about the community is so damn old, it does not exist in my world and a lot of black women's world. we don't live in the community anyway. so that need not to be used anymore, i am tired of hearing and reading it. in today's society, we are so into ourselves as a people(americans) the community concept has been long gone, so please stop using that lie. how dare one person speak for a people anyway. last, those who have a problem with it are hypocrites and are miserable with their choice of man or woman they are with. that is it most of the time or they are lonely and nobody wants them.
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Ebonique says:Posted: 11 Nov 09
I have found our that people will be themselves. Every since I was a child I knew that one day I would date out of my race. You see I am a very dark black female.When you meet someone and all they see is the color of your skin, they have a problem. it really is what's inside that really counts. I have done better dating out of my race. When that day came, it was the best relationship I ever had. I am black and he wss German. He never liked for me to say he was white, he always stated that it was an American word. Sure we were look at differently whenever we went out, but what kept our love alive was how we saw each other. He died of cancer before our wedding. Since being on this dating service all the replies I get from black males are sorry I don't feel we are a match. Most of my replies are returned by white males. I am a very self reliant female. I am here only to meet a nice male. It does offend me when I am turned away by my own kind. It only makes me stronger, because it is really their lost.
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fkoi says:Posted: 11 Nov 09
Ah, the rare blog trifecta. Racism, sexism and stupidity. Come to think of it, it's not that rare. Historically the biggest opponents of interracial contact are White men (remember lynching?). In my experience they continue to be. And does the quoted woman really think that Black women, as a whole or even a majority, are breaking down the social aspects of a potential coupling when they see a mixed couple. Enough so that she can categorically state that their reasons for being against it are "wholly different"? Really? And does she really think that White women are thinking, "Why on earth would he be with a black girl when I’m here?" Those prone to that kind of arrogant ignorance, in my experience, are more likely to be thinking, "Why on earth would he be with THAT GIRL when I’m here?" No race, creed or other description required. And what about Black guys who share that kind of arrogant ignorance? And in both cases the arrogance is probably self-doubt in a different wrapper. By and large folks just accept interracial relationships, again in my experience. Of course I notice the haters more. They make a point of being noticed, at least through vibe, if not tuts and/or comments. But there are thousands who walk by and don't care or are too involved with their own lives to even notice. Otherwise people wouldn't be able to date and marry whomever they want. Which they can. Except sometimes in Louisiana. And in many states if they are gay. Haters are gonna hate. Lovers are gonna love.
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alniceman says:Posted: 10 Nov 09
A successful relationship does seem to quiet a lot of the jealousy and anger particularly if the couple are quite comfortable as well as happy with each other. However, I have faced the anger and jealousy from many sources and while it is a paradox to be sure the most support and opposition have come from "black women" in USA. I have lost job promotions over the anger of black women to me dating black women and yet it was other black women who trained me and defended my right to do so in legal activities that helped me keep my job(s). Such is life...some people like you and others will be against you no matter what you do! al
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strega2008 says:Posted: 10 Nov 09
James, I was married to a black man for 16 yrs and have three wonderful children with him. Although our marriage ended in divorce, we strive to be the best parents we can be for our children. With that being said, I have encountered various aspects of hostility over the years from every facet of our (so-called) blended society. I feel it would be petty to delve into the plethora of comments and reasonings given to me as that serves only to focus on the negative. One thing I know for certain - those who present the fiercest hostility come from a position of low self-esteem and uncertainty. Personally, I am thrilled to see any mixed couple - especially beautiful black women with white men. The tides ARE turning, albeit slowly.... (tick, tock...) so that many more interracial couples are being embraced by those around them. The query, then, is not WHY hostility exists but rather what can we ALL do to educate each other, build each other up, and embrace the union and love that exists between any of us. Love is such a rare commodity these days - falling far behind the desire for money and success.... yet it is love that carries us through our darkest hours. Change is difficult for many - harder for some. Yet, it can be endured and have a lasting positive effect for all. I hope and pray the upward momentum continues exponentially - perhaps one day the colors can amalgamate just enough to be irrelevant to all.
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Well this sounds as if we are our own enemies here. You all are so concerned about the negative and not focusing on the positive. White men do not have us they are timid to approach us because of women like you!!! You all are blind of your own racisim its sad. Check out the tatoos of Obama on ppl, its majority of white ppl not black. Lets stop being the victiums and move towards rebuilding our society so we can over come these negative images. Beyonce, Halle Berry, Stachy Dash are hot and everyone thinks so. They are black, oh but ignorant black ppl will say they are an exception. No you need to stop being uglly hearted. Just because you were discraminated against doesn't mean every race hates black ppl. We are not the only minority in this world who goes thru this. WE ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO CARE ABOUT IT!!! TO answer fkois' question an eye for an eye makes you blind!! Dang its sad a 23yrold is saying this. Majority of you older ppl are embarrasing me! Im done with this posting and I am going to find fine me, black , white, asian, spanish, because I am beautiful in the inside and out! And because black women are hot!!