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Do dating sites make people seem superficial?

Posted by James, 14 Jul

I came across the video below on the New York Times blog, Economix. And when I read the paragraph:"Maybe online dating sites don’t reveal people’s despicable superficiality; they exaggerate it, because superficial characteristics are the easiest, and some case only available, qualities to search for" I had to watch it in order to understand where behavioral economist Dan Ariely was coming from.

Ariely thinks dating websites assume that its easy to describe people on searchable characteristics such as height, body shape, religious affiliations etc. But in the real sense people are more like wine. He goes on to say:

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...When you taste the wine, you could describe it, but it's not a very useful description. But you know if you like it or don't. It's the complexity and completeness of the experience that tells you if you like a person or not. And this breaking into attributes turns out not to be very informative.

Have a watch...

While scanning profiles for these attributes, we remove most people from our potential mates radar. After that, we start looking at other things we have in common that might prompt us to send an email. Question is: Would you contact a person who doesn't have those "searchable characteristics"? Are we limiting ourselves by using this criteria?

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67 responses to "Do dating sites make people seem superficial?"

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  1.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 21 Aug 10

    I agree that I don't have much faith in online dating in general but us special needs individuals who for some reason are really fussy in one capacity or another often have to resort to online dating to weed out the undesirables that don't fit our criteria. I am fussy about their psychological health and development and their wisdom and intelligence quotient. And without kids who doesn't want to have sex before marriage. That is very hard to find in real life so I give online dating a chance in the hopes of finding that one in a million female that meets my criteria. I know it may be an exercise in futility but its better than not trying at all. If you have lower standards and just want someone hot, then it maybe better to just see who is in your immediate environment if you can and just stick with what you can find. Joseph Moyer

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  2.   M0729 says:
    Posted: 19 Aug 10

    Great faith in online dating? I wouldn't go that far. I do see it as a viable option though. Meeting someone online or offline both require that you take the time to get to know them to be sure they are who they present themselves to be. @Happy_Girl...I agree 100% regarding the double standard many men seem to have when approaching someone online.

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  3.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 18 Aug 10

    I am sorry that you have to endure that. But not all men are that way. I have found that being a true intrinsic Christian makes the odds of the guy being a horny 60 year old much less. And you are doing nothing wrong. A lot of the problem is stereotypes with divorced at your age. The are expected to be horny because that is often when they are at their sexual peak so you get stereotyped wrongly and I truly am sorry for that. But you did a fantastic job of addressing that in your profile and I am truly impressed. You speak a lot of truths to counteract that stereotype and I admire that as a Pastoral Marriage Counselor. I wish more women would post profiles like that and help break the stereotypes of women and women doing online dating. Thanks for the blunt honesty in your profile and I hope your experience goes better in the future because you did everything you did to prevent those kinds of guys. Look out for guys who will still stereotype though based on dancing. There is nothing wrong with liking to dance and my 65 year old mother still loves to dance like a school girl and I think it is cute and doesn't diminish her accomplishments(which are many)as a human being or a woman. Joseph Moyer

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  4.   Happy_Girl says:
    Posted: 17 Aug 10

    I can only speak from my own experience. I have found that most of the men who contact me are superficial on so many levels. They are also a little stupid. They don't expect me to point out the fact they are superficial nor do they expect me to judge them on the same criteria they judge me. They expect me to be a deep insightful horny 40something..... while they are shallow horny 60something. So do I have a great faith in on line dating???? Not really.

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  5.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 05 Aug 10

    Well you have one point correct, you won't have to worry any more about me on this blog because I have said everything I possibly can think of on the blog topic so there is no reason for me to write any more on this blog without going off topic. So I have nothing else to say on this topic so bye. Have fun. Joseph Evan Moyer

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  6.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 05 Aug 10

    Just wondering how many different people TRULY get on websites JUST TO "STUDY" the members......the many different tactics they must have to employ to accomplish their "mission". AGAIN LADIES (and SISTER-sam...lol) ignore this crap. His sad attempt to use some sort of "arm-chair" psychology is beyond the desperation that "some" have claimed we, as women of color, are exemplifying by simply by dating who we choose. ANYONE following and believing his madness is terribly misguided. It's best to leave that sort of tom-foolery alone. Let him talk to himself here.....(which he seems to enjoy....LMAO). A "soap-opera" is not as entertaining with only ONE chararcter. Although when that one character plays an "evil twin", I admit I get a chuckle or two....LOL.

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  7.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 05 Aug 10

    WOW.....this is truly amazing....LOL. Ladies (godiva and petite)....I implore you DO NOT respond to this character anymore. People can hide profiles, pictures and the like but TRUE MOTIVEs and an individual's TRUE NATURE come to light EVERYTIME. This whole "GOD-COMPLEX" thing (comparing oneself to JESUS??....REALLY??...LOL)and wanting sooooo badly to be some sort of martyr. YUP....classic NARCISSIST ("blog legend" anyone????LMAO). Anywho, IT SURE WOULD BE NICE IF A CERTAIN PERSON WOULD PEAK UP ABOUT THIS SITUATION, as to not have this all be about "those evil black women" jumping on and "attacking the poor defenseless white dude". I truly don't expect him to do so and I respect that.....but at least one other person knows the real deal here and that is not just the "crazy TWO" (that would be you and I Petite....LOL). Peace PEOPLE tatted2death P.S. Petite, don't you find it kind of odd that this character (serenity/studmuffin) knows soooo much about "hacking" and creating false indenties online???? Didn't you just go through something like this here?????hmmmmm???? I truly wish people would get some different hobbies....LOL.

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  8.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 04 Aug 10

    Godiva, I really have to thank you. It has been many hours since I read your post and the part about not having to be on to post was the most informative. I see even better how you can be anonymous and not be held accountable for what you say on blogs all the more. You can have NO profile and post blogs and say WHATEVER you want and the people on the site are too busy with all the blogs to delete all the misinformation that is spread and rumors and lies because like I said, they have a ton of blog entries and they are concerned more with more obvious and illegal slanders than people accusing each other of false identities or being someone from the past etc. no matter how false they are. So if I wanted to, I could as be as anonymous as those individuals. But I see this now more clearly as a test from God on how much I am willing to put up with in His name. Jesus was slandered and accused of being other people than He was and He was totally insulted as well as physically abused until in Crucifixion. I will not give in to temptation and strike back at my accusers and slanderers anymore. I won't hide behind anonymity and NOT be held accountable for who I am by posting while not logged on or get rid of my profile for protection. Everything in my profile is true as is my name so I have nothing objectively to be ashamed of. I will stayed logged on when I post and do things the way I have been doing them minus dealing with my accusers and slanderers who throw stones as me. I am just removing my picture because, Godiva, like I said earlier, one believes what one is told by the majority of the people in one's life. I have never had anyone but you and the other two individuals on me who seek to hurt me through their lies and slanders. You three are the only ones out of hundreds of women I have met that have made that accusation and you never even met or dealt with me in person. These other hundreds of women have as well as guys and I am inclined to believe their perspective about me. BUT, I have been told all my life, especially by women, that I was ugly. I am even worse since my disability crippled me on my lower spinal causing severe pain the rest of my life and needing a cane to walk and I can't feel my feet and ankles anymore. So I am removing my picture so no one has to see my ugly appearance anymore and just keeping the rest which is the true me. Thanks very much Godiva for the Gestalt Aha(form of psychology) and bringing things into clarity. As for those that persecute me, I shall pray for them because I think their emotional pain outweighs the intense physical pain I am experiencing every day of my life and need my prayers more than I need to be prayed for for I am at true Maat.(Egyptian word) And I will do what the website individuals said to do is to ignore them and not let this become like kindergarten(there exact words!!;-) and just ignore them. Thus we have more proof that anonymity and lack of accountability on internet dating websites does bring out the superficiality that is already there and my view is it doesn't have to. You can be open and honest about who you are and not be that way. Thus speaks the real Joseph Evan Moyer who refuses to hide his true identity.:-)

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  9.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 04 Aug 10

    Not where I'm a paying member at this time, Sam! This is but ONE reason I left.

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  10.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 04 Aug 10

    And Jeff said something about hackers that like to cause trouble can do things like link profiles and pictures or almost anything because most people keep their security low on their computers and many websites keep their security low enough especially when money transactions aren’t involved that it can be done easily enough by hackers who aren’t after money but just like to cause trouble. I used to be on AOL and in private chats with just one person in chat rooms and people would hack into my chat room which I wouldn’t know how to do and has to do with site security. It is cheaper to keep the security lower and save the more expensive security for financial transactions like signing up for the website using a credit care and I heard even those are being hacked into. -------------------- Do tell! Tell us more since you are such a kind and gentle therapist looking out for us online dating folk. This is NOT HARD TO fathom!

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  11.   sam says:
    Posted: 04 Aug 10

    I really do not know why my comments were removed. That guy spewed so much hatred and such that I assumed he would be banned but for some reason it was my words which were deleted. Maybe you're rightPetiteChick. Anyway it is weird that a guy who hates so much can roam here free but we, who are genuinely interested about these issues and such want to exchange ideas and thoughts are censored. Really weird. Are there any other sites like this?

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  12.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 04 Aug 10

    I'm sure the powers that be will delete the above as well. As I really do believe what Poster midnite said.

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  13.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 04 Aug 10

    I apologize because I am so used to being attacked by the other two females(I think, I can't verify it because I never met them)tattoed2death and petitechick. I apologize for lumping you in with the both of them for you aren't like them. Jeff emailed me and told me he has left and couldn't handle the drama but we will still keep in touch. He is going to Blackfriendfinder or something along those lines where he can start fresh. And thank you for explaining the dynamics of this site more because I didn't know you could blog and not be on the site. And Jeff said something about hackers that like to cause trouble can do things like link profiles and pictures or almost anything because most people keep their security low on their computers and many websites keep their security low enough especially when money transactions aren't involved that it can be done easily enough by hackers who aren't after money but just like to cause trouble. I used to be on AOL and in private chats with just one person in chat rooms and people would hack into my chat room which I wouldn't know how to do and has to do with site security. It is cheaper to keep the security lower and save the more expensive security for financial transactions like signing up for the website using a credit care and I heard even those are being hacked into. And I am sorry you feel that way about me but my blogs are more intended for general reading and not meant really to talk to women personally as much as my private messages. But you are entitled to your opinion and I won't argue with you over that but don't be offended if I find you finding me as a turnoff as totally insignificant to my world view and perception because I have had hundreds upon hundreds of interactions in my jobs and counseling and even relationships that have reinforced me otherwise. That is just my opinion and I tend to go by majority rules in these situations. It is kind of like everyone telling someone that they are smart and one person calls them stupid. Who is that person going to believe. But like I said, everyone is entitled to their opinion as long as it is respectfully presented. Joseph Moyer

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  14.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 04 Aug 10

    @serenity33, I hope that at the end of this post, you will be able to understand me fully so this conversation will have no need to go any further!!!!!! You mentioned that you went in my profile and it said that the last time that I was here was three weeks ago, okay here's the deal... you can actually post a comment on this blog without actually going in your profile. Three weeks ago was the last time that I went into my profile, the time before that was May 20, 2010. My comment on yesterday about the photos was based on what I was seeing at the time on this site, and this site ONLY! Two different names, serenity33, studmuffin99, with the exact same photos. Today I am seeing no photos of the two of you at all! Not once did I make a comment about your's or Jeff's profile, which brings me to the next point. You said, and I'm quoting, "if those three think me or Jeff are fake, why didn't they just go to the Report concern Section and report our profiles", end of quote. a. I made NO mention, nor did I imply or accuse you or Jeff of having a fake profile. Again, I commented on the photos ONLY! b. The "those" three, if you were referring to me as "those", please note that my parents did NOT name me "those"!!! c. If your profile is fake, that's on you, it is NOT important to me about the validity of your profile, so even if I thought it was fake, which I NEVER said one way or another, reporting a fake profile would be even less important to me! You stated in your last post "that the matter would have been best handled privately but they chose to berate us both and disrupting the blog constantly". When and where is the proof that I berated you or Jeff??? Are you talking about my comment about the photos? If so, how is that berating you? When did I mention Jeff? Who is disrupting the blog constantly? Disrupting, Constantly? I am not here that often, so the word constantly would not best describe me! Disrusptive and inappropiate behavior here, can not and should not be left at the doorstep of the women only! Speaking of which, as I was catching up on the comments posted here during my absence, I noticed what I perceived to be inappropiate and disruptive behavior on your part. Looking into a persons profile is fair game, however, I think it's inappropiate, and somewhat tacky to disclose publicly what's in that persons profile. Profiles, I'm assuming, is merely an opportunity for another to possibly getting a better idea about the person. There stands a good/valid reason as to why a person might "tell you later", they have that right to do so! That right should be respected, as if it were your own, "tell you later". Common Courtesy should not be forfeited!!!!!! No one should be intentionally put in a position to have to publicly explain why they said "tell you later"! A negative act usually get's a negative response! Her privacy should have been considered as well, but of course this was not an option that you chose to indulge in, but of course now, she's the problem and not yourself! What I do know if I divulge any information from a patients chart, without his/her permission, then I would be violating HIPPA, and there would be consequences, and reactions for my behavior, and as far as I am concerned the same rules should apply here! My bigger question is, why go in someone's profile if you have no interest in that person, what was the real motive? Last but not least, I don't know who Jeff is, I don't know his intentions or motives for being here, but your telling him that he is going to get grief as long as he remains here seems to imply that Jeff is incapable of having a constructive, healthy dialogue with the opposite sex. Not all men are the same, some men can come to a dating site, and every other aspect in society and actually know how to be in an intimate conversation with women, this really is the norm! I wonder what would happen if people would take sole responsiblity for their own behavior's, their own word's and actions???? In other words, what's in your heart, what motivates you from day to day? If you are here to take abuse as you said, then to me that statement alone speaks volumes about your motives for being here, you should want better than to be abused in any shape or form! I don't know the details or the questions that you sent me via my profile, but hopefully this will shed a new light and end this discussion. It is in my perception, and mine ONLY, that you are either, not willing, or incapable of having a decent dialougue, at least not with women, and from your comments that you have posted here, that you are one of these men who talk at women, and not to women, which is for me, an absolute turn off for me as a woman! godiva

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  15.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 04 Aug 10

    I just also discovered that you can report concern of fake profiles. If those three think me are Jeff or fake, why didn't they just go to the Report concern section and report our profiles as fake? That makes no sense because I have been blogging on here logging enough that if people think Jeff and I were fake, they should have looked up our profiles under profile search and reported us rather than giving especially me all the hassle on the blog. The matter would have been best handled privately but they chose to berate us both and disrupting the blog constantly even after I had my posts removed that were insulting, instead of reporting us. THAT seems mentally unbalanced to me. Joseph Evan Moyer

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  16.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 04 Aug 10

    I am sorry Jeff. I just experimented with clicking on your picture on this blog and clicking on mine and my profile shows up both times. But when I do a member search of you, you don't show up at all. I think this site must have had it wires crossed of something and I apologize for all the abuse you have been taking because of me. That is freakin weird. Go try another dating site and start fresh my friend. You have my personal email address if you ever want to talk online. But you are going to get grief as long as you remain on here so go someplace nicer for your sake. You deserve a fresh start and I will take the abuse meant for you from the weird crossover. Sincerely, Joseph Moyer

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  17.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 04 Aug 10

    I did a google search for Joseph Moyer and Serenity33 and didn't see anyone with my picture. I am disappointed though because I though serenity 33 was unique and I have found that people from all over the world have used it but no picture. And I didn't for anything for studmuffin99. My name though of Joseph Moyer is extremely common that makes me even more sad. I can't even google to find out about myself!! Joseph Moyer PS There are one's with even Evan in but no pictures. Joseph Evan Moyer really is indeed a common name throughout the states. That is why I would like the exact websites where the duplicate pictures were found messaged to me and I asked godiva61 to privately message it to me since we aren't allow to post websites on these blogs. I wonder if she will respond since this website says she hasn't been on for three weeks.

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  18.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 04 Aug 10

    Well I wish someone would give me the website online that this Queens person posted his picture twice on. Because this is the only place I have my picture besides Eharmony. Is this guy black or what? I am totally confused and don't know how my picture got posted online if it is the same website. Someone who had an account please email me with the website that this picture is supposed to be on. You can email it to Serenity33 which would be greatly appreciated because if someone else is using my picture, I would like to know who and report them. But they had better be white or else it is someone else that is posing with two names. Also, I checked godiva61's profile and it says she hasn't been online for three weeks. Check it out yourself. There is some weird stuff going on here because how could she not be on for three weeks and just post? It would have registered as having her on. Also email me with the two names and I will do a google web search to see if two different names come up with the same picture so we can end this once and for all. Joseph Evan Moyer

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  19.   godiva61 says:
    Posted: 04 Aug 10

    THIS IS BEYOND MENTALLY DISTURBED!!!!! THERE ARE TWO DIFFERENT NAMES WITH THE EXACT SAME PICTURE ATTACHED!!! PETITE IS NOT THE ONLY ONE SEEING THESE EXACT SAME PHOTOGRAPHS ATTACHED TO TWO DIFFERENT NAMES!!!!!

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  20.   studmuffin99 says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    Not me either, Joseph. So she can't really see your picture and lack of mine on this website. She must secretly be in love or openly I guess by the way she is acting, with this Queens person. She just can't keep stop talking about you and they say there is a fine line between love and hate very often. By the way she sticks to you, she must really love this Queens guy and wish you were him. Too bad she can't send emails because I would like to know what this famous Queens guy really looks like and see how closely he resembles you. I think everyone on here would like to know what Queens looks like to see how he looks compared to you. I wonder if he spurned her or something and is taking it out on you. Take care Joseph. I hate to say this but better you than me because I couldn't handle the drama while you are a counselor and used to dealing with all types of individuals. Jeff

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  21.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    None of my pictures are published on the world wide web. Only on this website. What about you Jeff? Sincerely, Joseph Moyer

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  22.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    @Studdmuffin or Queens (whichever role you're in at this moment): I can too see your fotos. What makes you think I can't when they are published on the world wide web. The both of you, I mean ummm, you and Queens, ooops sorry you're studdmuffin have the same photo. I can still see "me" too. I now know that you have gone mad from your hatred. I think this is so funny, really I do. If you weren't such a hate-filled person Queens, you could have done stand up comedy. Studdmuffin, you'd have to be his "other persona." Teeheeee, Whewwwwwwwwwww, Whooooosaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

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  23.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    Don't worry about her Jeff. I looked and she closed her account a long time and just goes on blogs to give people trouble. She probably can't tell the difference if you have a picture or not(which I noticed you didn't) and can't see mine either. Just stay on the topic of the blog and don't break any of the site or blog rules. That is the best way to behave my friend.:-) Joseph Moyer

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  24.   studmuffin99 says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    This site and blog have rules and free speech is curtailed by the rules of the site and blog which you are clearly violating. And you must not being a paying member either because otherwise you could see that I don't have a picture up while he does. I think it is just a trick to get to see what I look like. I can see why your posts get removed because they have nothing to do with the blog and just designed to be disruptive and hateful. Again the superficiality coming out on a dating site. We have exhibits a and b as prime examples(or haters) of the superficiality of dating websites. And one says something about Queens. Is she from New York? Could someone fill me in on that besides her since reliability is suspect in this case of getting a straight answer? Any of you guys know what she is talking about? Thanks. Jeff who is still wondering what anything she is saying has to do with this blog topic.

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  25.   studmuffin99 says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    PS If you ever by some miracle get to Cali, you are welcome to visit and also ride in my mail truck and we can talk and chill while I do my route. I will make the truck comfortable because I know your handicap hinders your walking and you are in a lot of pain all the time. You got more guts than me in that department for I can't stand pain. Stay cool, bro. Jeff

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  26.   studmuffin99 says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    Hey Joseph. Don't worry about me. I have dealt with haters before in Cali. And I have had positive experiences with Black women and know enough to know these two aren't representative of the population at large. I have come across some very nice Black women on my mail route and know they are very nice in general. I am hesitant to become a member if you have to deal with individuals like this. I don't want to pay good money to be berated because I was nice to a nice guy who was nice to me. I would rather spend my money on a sight that has black woman as just part of the selection. I have a few in mind but I heard you weren't allowed to mention other sites on this websites especially competitors. But I do like the education of the blogs even if some people don't obey the rules of the site. And I will keep my picture blank. I have been a piece of meat because of my picture before. I don't want to tempt anyone. And I saw your picture and not to hurt your feelings, I am much better looking than you. But that is the way our society is online especially. It is a meat market based on looks on these kinds of sites which is a superficial thing but at least they are more honest about it. I am sure you make up for your looks by having a great personality by what I have seen. So don't worry about me, friend. Faceless people are easy marks for insults on these online dating sites. I would rather have insults for no picture than be chased by haters in disguise who are just nice to me because of my looks. I have been down that road before and I would rather find out ahead of time how they really are and like I said, I think these sites bring out superficiality and people's true nature that they usually hide around a good looking guy like me. Take it easy Joseph. Jeff

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  27.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    No insults. Why you want to cause trouble to have my comments removed? Won't work this time. I'M EXERCISING FREEDOM OF SPEECH! What I'm asking you is why do Studdmuffin and Serenity33 have the same photo? Or is that you bare a very striking resemblance? Never mind, Queens. Have fun.......

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  28.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    Don't insult the guy that way. He is a thousand times better looking than me I bet. I posted my photo and I don't see one for him. Don't worry about them Jeff. They will attack anyone who gets along with me. They don't know how to stick to the topic of the blog. Just ignore them Jeff since I know you won't be praying for them.:-) Sincerely, Joseph Moyer

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  29.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    STUDD MUFFIN AND SERENITY33 HAVE THE SAME PHOTO?

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  30.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    You have posts deleted quickly, get photos approved quickly easy access, eh? I'm done exercising my freedom of speech for now. But I'll be back.

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  31.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    EXERCISING MY FREEDOM OF SPEECH!!!!!!!!!

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  32.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    Count down to when my posts will be deleted......... It is currently 7:24a.m. Eastern time, I'll be back in an hour Queens.

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  33.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    Oh and studdy babe, the best way to find your "fine black women" (plural?)- which we are by the way - is to get a photo and stay off the blogs. Just a word of advice. If you do the anonymity route like our friend here you'll get nada, zilch, nothing. Black women have high standards.

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  34.   PetiteChick says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    Studd: I think you don't want to go there asking me a bunch of questions about this individual. As Tatted2Death stated, everyone knows who he is. I recommend you just read him for a while and soon enough he'll be referring to women as bitches and hoes just like he did in other blogs under another name. He has been admonished before only to return with a new "spin." PetiteChick say's just watch - he can't help himself.

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  35.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    Oops. I got sloppy and put your email address down as mine and it went nowhere.;-) That's what happens when you try to pet your cats at the same time you are typing.;-) Joseph

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  36.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    Don't know. It could be some of both. By the way I tried emailing you and it didn't go through at the address you gave me. No biggy. Just might want to get your address checked out. Sincerely, Joseph

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  37.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    I don't know Jeff. I promised not to say anything else about this individual and I keep my word. My view is the site and the anonymity magnifies what is already there so you can be the judge of that. You are welcome to email me privately and/or stop by in PA to visit if you ever get in the area for some reason. I will put you up. Maybe we can have our own talk about religion but I won't shove it down your throat, I promise.;-) Take it easy my friend.:-) Sincerely, Joseph Evan Moyer

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  38.   studmuffin99 says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    She really seems to follow you to every post with her hatred. I follow you because you are interesting and kind even if I don't agree with your Christianity. This is a dating site and I see much superficiality by certain individuals. I have been on other dating sites and have never seen such hatred. I wonder if it is racial because they weren't interracial dating sites. I hope we can all put our religious and racial issues and just get a long and learn from each other. I feel bad that you are so persecuted Joseph. I am looking for some fine black women on this site and I hope they all aren't so hateful. Do you think the site brings it out or they are naturally that way? Jeff

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  39.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 03 Aug 10

    Hey Jeff, good to see you again.:-) Nice to know your name too.;-) I agree with you on this point but still think people are generally naturally superficial do to the moral decay of the country especially due to promiscuous sex. I lived at an apartment complex for a huge secular college name James Madison University. They were partying all the time and running around drunken and the young women there were as easy as anything. The local paper posted some disturbing statistics about the VD rate being really high there and the promiscuity rate being really high. And it is not just there but everywhere it seems. Statistical studies point it out all the time and you see it all the time on the news. My point being for this blog is that almost everyone is getting more superficial and online dating has turned into a meat market and a hookup device. Some try to find father's for their kids and some try to find mother's for their kids but sex seems the lowest common factor and one of the laws of group dynamics states that given anonymity and lack of accountability, the group, in this case, online daters, will stoop to the lowest common denominator which is sex and;or money which studies show is the psychological beauty enhancer both on and offline. Money can make up for a host of flaws on online dating sites making the people more superficial like they are in real life. The Anonymity has been shown in studies to increase superficiality because of lack of accountability. Tons of psychology studies have shown that people want to come up smelling like a rose in studies where they might be identified but they are much more shallow and honest about their shallowness in anonymous studies that don't hold the accountable. So I think it is some of both, Jeff. People are getting more superficial and morally bankrupt in general in this country and it is magnified on online dating sites. Regards, Jeff Joseph Moyer

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  40.   studmuffin99 says:
    Posted: 02 Aug 10

    Totally on topic, it seems like the online dating does bring out superficiality like the man said in his video. Jeff

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  41.   studmuffin99 says:
    Posted: 02 Aug 10

    I am totally confused. I don't understand what any of this has to do with the blog. It seems like they harbor a deep hatred towards an individual that they don't even know and are using the blog to take it out on him. Can someone else please explain what is going on? I came to talk about the blog subject.

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  42.   studmuffin99 says:
    Posted: 02 Aug 10

    And why is everyone so down on this Serenity guy? I am not Christian but I have no problem with him. I am referring to the nasty remarks made by the female members higher up in the blog, no males.

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  43.   studmuffin99 says:
    Posted: 02 Aug 10

    What does your comment have to do with this blog, Petitechick? I come to blogs to talk about the topic of the blog? What's up with that?

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  44.   midnite says:
    Posted: 01 Aug 10

    I educate and occasionally some retarded upstarts need a spanking because they have no respect for real knowledge old(the Bible) or new (statistics) The above is From your post to Tatted2Death on another note: "Put a crucifix to this biatches head and watch her sizzle!!" You counsel other people saying these things? OK, if you do then God help those who are listening to you. Why are you so angry at everyone?

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  45.   midnite says:
    Posted: 01 Aug 10

    Hello Serenity33, what do you mean by "spanking?" Do you spank your patients? I see that you are a psychologist or something and was just wondering which school of thought spanks his/her patients. Isn't that violent and against the law?

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  46.   tatted2death says:
    Posted: 31 Jul 10

    You SOME of what sir serenity speaks is the truth.....but not all people fit into the general (widely known and accepted.....SAD) categories in which he conveniently puts people that DON'T accept him.....(WE ALL can see that more than likely he had been rejected by women that he "slashes and burns" in his post). MOST of the people that frequent dating sites ARE NOT rich or even truly modelesque (which ARE good things in my book). They are a cross section of the general population and are NOT immune to "dressing up" the less flattering parts of the selves. Some do this MORE than others.....SO WHAT??? This might require that you rub more than the THREE brain cells you might have and ACTUALLY THINK and try to get to know an individual.....SO WHAT!!!! I understand it is MUCH EASIER to just skim the surface and then toss an individual in the pile of bullshyt you've probably already dug up for them. PEACE PEOPLE tatted2death

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  47.   fenway2k says:
    Posted: 30 Jul 10

    Alrighty then.....what the hell did I just miss?

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  48.   serenity33 says:
    Posted: 26 Jul 10

    Easily spoken from the shadows of anonymity. I can't take cowardly anonymous people seriously. And the studies about looks consciousness are not a chip on my shoulder but tons of psychological studies which you would know if you studied psychology as many years as I have and down as many years of counseling I have done. Sounds like someone has a guilty conscious about what they have gotten in life and are in denial about what really helped them get there!! Even the Chappelle show has a skit on a woman who complains that she is tired of her breasts being too large and she finds out all the things she would have missed out on if she was flat chested!! It is common knowledge that our society is based on looks so don't blame me for the game or pointing out it exists. Own up and do something to fight the game. Plus there are relatives levels of attractiveness. If you are pretty in large cities, you have other attractive women to compete with so that makes a difference but all those attractive women still have the edge over the unattractive women out there who don't stand an icecube's chance in hell of getting what they want compared to the societally attractive women in the world. And no, my long and drawn out paragraphs and Big words don't make me wise. My many various life experiences which are more than you could ever handle a fraction of, are what make me wise. I spent almost all my life learning from others while you were getting laid being a single mom and not working on a real relationship that would last so you wouldn't be a single mom. Having to raise a kid takes a lot of your time away while I was talking to people gathering wisdom. I won't tell you how to raise your child and how good a job you did if you don't dictate to me what is wisdom and what is not because it is obvious you didn't make wise decisions in your life by the outcome. I wouldn't want to be a single parent because the price is too high when it comes to gaining wisdom and insight. I traveled all over to talk to wise educated and elderly people which I couldn't have done with a kid. I never partied or goofed off drinking or doing drugs or flirting which is all a waste of time. So when you get your degree from Seminary and in Psychology and have spent your entire life studying and helping others like my profile says(which I doubt you have the patience or understanding to read it) as well as having many Pastors and people of all religions and viewpoints give me their advice as well missionaries from all over the world, then you can tell me what's what. And I know that Jesus loves me and knew it growing up enough not to sleep with someone and have a single child. Thanks anyway for your insecure input. Like I said, argue with me privately if you have the guts and just aren't showing off to people. I would LOVE to argue privately and never write anything to show off to anyone but nobody ever has the guts to take me up on my offer but have been cowards because they are too busy hiding behind their anonymity. Joseph Evan Moyer

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  49.   anonymous26 says:
    Posted: 26 Jul 10

    your long drawn out paragraphs and "Big Words" doesn't make you a WISE man

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  50.   anonymous26 says:
    Posted: 26 Jul 10

    @ serenity: "because everyone knows attractive people get treated better in this world." LOL your opinion darlin... Look @ how your judging me.. thats BS.. I've worked hard for everything I have, I'm a strong independent woman, single mom, student, and Nothing has been handed to me on a silver platter!! You can ramble on for pages, but that won't change whatever chip you have on your shoulder!! P.s. I like "anonymous" the song... It's nice :) God Bless you darlin,, and smile because Jesus loves you

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